Look! No hands!

The other day I realized that I am now able to lean forward with no hands, & hold ia 45 degree angle. I bet that’s thanks to horse therapy AND Cooper:

Our dog, Cooper, absolutely HATES to be alone. Whenever people leave, he sits by the door until he hears the car go, just hoping they will come back. When the car goes, he runs to see if I’m there- (cuz I rarely leave), & he tries to jump on me, as if to say, “Thank u for not leaving me! I love u!” I often lean forward to pet him, & re-assure him that I am really there. So I get practice leaning forward several times a day…

Then, during the day, he naps where he can see me. I recall the ninja-like moves I used to get out of the room w/my babies. I wish I could do them w/Cooper, but I can’t be “ninja -like” in my wheelchair (just turning it on, it beeps like the roadrunner–did they try to be funny when they did that?)! So, if I want to leave, either someone else has to come, or Cooper has to be completely out of it, so I can leave the room…cuz when Cooper finds himself alone, he HOWLS! So I just stay, since he’s too scared of our stairs (I can’t wait to move into our new, one-story home by next month!)

A few weeks ago, I posted a video, but forgot to tell anyone that I did! So, let me share a bit about our Mormon Channel video:

We made that video like 3-4 years ago. When the video was removed from Youtube, we were told it would air it at a “special” time. We thought that the “special time” would be during an LDS conference years ago, but it never did, so we had NO idea it would EVER air! But it finally did air, the 1st weekend of October, on LDS.org, during our church’s general conference–as we had thought it would, only years ago!

I was in Utah when it aired, watching the conference on TV (KBYU), so I never saw it. But the girls were with my parents here, watching LDS.org. My mom saw the intro. & had a feeling it was us, so they were watching, & when it ended, Sophia CALLED (yes, CALLED!) me, she was so excited, & my mom joked they need to update it now!

September 14, 2005

IMG_1209This summer, I never had the opportunity to post about 2 miraculous events that occurred, & reminded me how the Lord is aware of me, & looking out for me:

  1. I fell out of my chair, & didn’t get even 1 scatch! I have fallen again since then, & both times, I have been totally fine, & the people who help me, have been blessed with strength & wisdom.
  2. I hurt my tailbone. I’ve bruised my tailbone twice before, & it hurt MUCH less (the 1st day I was bawling, cuz the pain was so intense), so I thought it was broken–which freaked me out, cuz a bruised tailbone took a minimum of 6 weeks to heal, & I was flying to Utah like 6 days after I hurt my tailbone. But by some miracle, I was like 80% better by then! (Mark was inspired previously to get me a cheap foam cushion, & then he was inspired to cut a hole in the back so I could sit on a U-shaped wheelchair cushion…& we “just happened” to have pain meds around when I needed them!)

Then, not too long ago, my husband briefly turned off a water line in our fridge, which was an inconvenience for everyone, but I also lost my independence in getting my own water…I always seem to forget how HUGE it is when I can do things on my own, & I’m so grateful for all the modern conveniences that make it possible for me to be more independent!

Speaking of gratitude, i started horse therapy again!  I’m very grateful for that!  I love it! & I’m grateful that my tailbone isn’t even slightly an issue!

Our church has this Proclamation of the Family (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng) that says that women/mothers are nurturers.  I’ve seen the truth behind that statement, as I watch my daughters care for our dog, Cooper. My girls just seem to have the quality in them, naturally!  it amazes me how much of an instinct they have when they are helping to take care of Cooper.

Cooper is growing up fast! He’s definitely bigger since we met.   He’s a hyper dog, but a smart dog too, & he knows he has to slow down for me.  He goes crazy & tries to bite my hand (in order to stay awake), if I stay in one spot…but he totally loves it if I give him wheelchair rides!  When he is demanding attention, but is spaz & bites when he gets attention, I can take him for a wheelchair rides (on both floors & on the elevator), & it calms him down!  If I stop going the “correct” direction, he lathers me w/kisses, cuz he knows I will stop!  So cool!

Busy a summer!

I’ve been busy this summer with several family affairs, & other things. It’s been quiet here now though, & I have time to type: All my kids have been in Utah (Soph was at ballroom dance camp, Jess was at EFY, & Zach is at summer school). However, they’ll all be back on Saturday–they fly back tonight, & they’re bringing a dog to join the family!

On Thursday, June 18, Zach left for summer term at college. (Yes, he’s coming home briefly before fall term begins!) When Mark flew with Zach to Utah (to set him up at BYU), I stayed home. Saying goodbye was like ripping off a band-aid, & besides the family being smaller, it seemed like we were fine. But we recently had our 1st family trip w/o him, & it just didn’t feel right w/o Zach, so we made him come out & briefly join us for a few days on our family reunion/50th wedding anniversary celebration in Hawaii!

The trip was a long flight, so I was worried, but the flight there was great: it had been broken up into 2 manageable flights, & for some reason, on the flight out, we had sleeping pods (those are usually for international flights.). It was a blessing that I could experience sleeping pods, cuz I found out I could lay completely flat, making an international flight a possibility! (Those pods are worth every penny to upgrade to 1st class!)

I was nervous about the 8-9 hour return flight not being broken up as well, & not having sleeping pods (Mark couldn’t find any), but we upgraded to 1st class, & since it was so late, I slept most of it, & since my chair was reclined for most of the flight, my butt was fine, & I never had to potty on the plane!

Anyway, these flights to Hawaii were the 1st flights in 11 years that I actually enjoyed. I’ve progressed enough that I can do minor shifts, & I can sorta’ help my ears when they hurt. Also, Mark’s been helping me learn to deal w/my anxiety, so I’m sure that helped me as well!

When Mark was in Utah w/o me (in June), I spoke to Mark on the phone! I’m not so good at it yet, so Sophie was there too, but I did it, & it was so awesome! Recently, my sister accidentally called me to wish me a Happy Birthday, & we actually carried on a short conversation! I was super tired when she called, so my speech wasn’t very clear, but we talked w/o anyone there, & w/o using my version of the morse code on the phone! Lately, I’ve had several good speaking days, & I have held several short conversations, & even introduced myself! It’s exciting!

I have also started to help clean up my house more: Starting in April, I began tidying up the kitchen, so this summer I have tried doing more this time. I have an OCD personality, so this was long over-due, & it feels good to be able to take pride in my home again!

Friday

Friday, 2 things occurred that I’m excited about:

 

  1. I made toast! For a while now I’ve been opening bags, but only once have I re-tied a bread bag–it’s hard w/1 hand! But yesterday I figured out a way to do it: normally I twist the bag, & have the weight of the bread keep it closed, so I did that, but took it a step farther & slipped in the bread tie…& while I did that, I had bread cooking in my toaster (which surprised me at how easily I could push the lever down!)

 

  1. While “walking” (so my “talking hand was occupied), I held several lengthy conversations! This fulfilled an unspoken dream! Lately, I’ve been thrilled if I am able to tell someone “thank u” as I go through a door they are holding open for me. I guess, in reality, I’ve been doing speaking as i move for a while, cuz I speak to my therapist, as I ride my horse (no way am I letting go, although I’m sitting pretty well w/o side support now!). In fact, I recently wrote this about horse therapy:

 

This is my 2nd year of Equine (horse) therapy, which is kind of like physical therapy.  However, I took Physical Therapy for about 2 years, & the progress I had seems to pale in comparison!  For 10 years, I’ve been like a ragdoll, & lacked core strength .  Nothing seemed to help me…but after just a few months of riding a horse, the strength in my core was remarkable!  I can now lean forward, push myself back up, sit in a chair without arms unassisted, etc.  Equine (“horse”) therapy isn’t just limited to building core strength, building endurance, or helping a person to work on their balance, but it has also strengthened my upper body, replaced many of my anxieties with confidence, & helped me to strengthen my breath support, so after 10 years, I am finally able speak again!

 

The hardest time for me to speak is in the morning: I seem to wake slowly, & I have trouble getting my muscles working & coordinated.  I also feel like my PBA medicine has depression & anxiety meds in it, so once I take it, it seems to weaken my speech anxiety or something, & I start talking clearer & easier. It seems like I tend to “think too much”, so sfter my anxiety lessens, i  seem to start thinking less about how to speak, & just do it!

Sometimes, it seems like due to my anxiety, I can’t say anything, or I whisper (the whisper isn’t from a lack of breath support, cuz I’m often repeating something I said louder). Recently, we discovered that iI’m louder & clearer if I read something (though, usually I can’t be so familiar with it that i anticipate things)!  I can’t let my brain get involved, & start “over-thinking”, or speaking becomes tough!  Crazy, huh?  My music therapist tested it out, & wrote out a phrase I had trouble saying earlier, & when I read it, it was so effortless & clear, I shocked her!