The last few weeks have had some rough days where I’ve had to remind myself that “I signed up for this being human thing!” I don’t usually get sick, but when I do, it can wipe me out! This last one seemed to cry out: “You’re old!” Sadly, I am!
March 16, 2026 was my 22nd stroke-aversary. 22 years…that’s a long time! (My son, who was in first grade when I had my stroke, is now close to the same age I was when I had my stroke – & now he helps with the upkeep on my blog & lives nearby with his family – my 2 grandkids. See, I’m old!)
Speaking of my grandkids, we recently went on a trip with them. We had so much fun!
Back in February, my grandson, James, & I had our first “real” conversation:
James noticed I had a band-aid on my hand, & asked, “Grandma, what happened?” I said I got an owie & he asked whaț kind of owìe. I tried to say, “burn,” & he said, “A what?” & he looked at me while I slowly said “burn”.. not thinking he’d understand. But he said, “oh, a burn”. This conversation blew my mind (it seemed too “old” for his age), but it has led to some fun interactions with James in the following weeks. He’s able to understand me like 80% of the time, so I can interact & tease him. Back when my girls were this age, I couldn’t speak at all, so this is new territory for me, & very exciting!
A few weeks ago, I was preparing to teach a lesson about goals in Young Women’s (11-17 year old girls at church), & I had ChatGPT research my website, & help me write about my “speech goal.” Here’s what was written:
“In 2004, after my brainstem stroke, I was told I would never speak again.
At the time, that seemed believable. I had a trach and couldn’t control my breathing. Sound wasn’t something I could choose to make, and speaking felt like an impossible long-term goal. But I was determined to do it!
What changed everything was learning to break that goal into small, reachable steps.
My first goals had nothing to do with words—they were about breathing:
controlling my breath, making simple sounds, and coordinating breath with voice. Later, those goals became saying a word, then a short phrase, and eventually several words on one breath.
Each small goal is built on the last.
Today, I can speak well enough to teach this lesson. I’m still hard to understand and still need a translator—but I can speak. Because of that, I consider my original long-term goal achieved.
Now I have a new goal: to speak clearly enough that I don’t need a translator. My first step is learning to speak even when I get emotional and cry. Sometimes I can do it. Most of the time, I can’t!
My life has taught me this:
Big goals don’t happen all at once. They happen one small step at a time—especially when the finish line feels impossible.”
Ironically, I shared this with my AI voice (because it reads faster than I read). I don’t think I’ve said much about my AI voice, so here it goes: A year before my stroke, I recorded some books onto cassette tapes for my kids to listen to while I was gone. I was so insistent that it needed to be done that I did it after everyone went to bed, the night before I flew with my mom to see my sister in London. Fast forward 20+ years. My youngest daughter& her husband converted them to digital & made a unique AI voice with the recordings of my voice & added a Chicago accent (I grew up there). It’s pretty robotic if I type, so Sophie reads (what I write) with my AI voice to add voice inflections. It’s pretty cool to have the child who remembers my voice the least sound like me!
When I did my fireside last summer, I used my AI voice for 80-90% of the speaking. For the rest, I spoke…but since I talk so quiet (& I still sign when I get emotional), I asked my friend/helper, Angie, to repeat everything I said (if u wondered, yes, my fireside was recorded & is on my YouTube channel).
Later, I shared a condensed version of my fireside for a Young Women’s lesson at church. Mark told Angie to NOT repeat me during my YW lesson, so that was my first lesson teaching semi-alone (since my stroke)! A few months later, I shared the above message (written with help from Chat GPT), & soon after, I was asked to teach the 14-15-year-old girls (Young Women) at church! If I was told 22 years ago about all that my future held for me, I wouldn’t have believed it – it’s hard enough to believe right now while it’s happening!
