Church

The Lord is with me

March 16 (Thursday this week) is what I affectionately call my “stroke-a-versary.” 19 years ago, on March 16, my family was told that I had 24 hours to live, & that if I survived, I’d only be able to blink. Not only have I exceeded the doctor’s expectations, but I have slowly had things like my right arm, speech, & more return…things that assist me in serving the Lord. At the time of my stroke, I was the primary chorister (teaching music to the kids at church who were 18 months old to 12 years old), so naturally, I sang the songs in my head, while I lay in my hospital bed recovering from my stroke. It was there that I learned the power of the primary music I had been teaching, as I (through song) received assurance that the Lord WAS there…& He continues to stay by my side!

I have begun conducting in the primary. That means I welcome the kids & help direct the flow of the meeting. It was through inspiration that I learned how it was possible, & for two years I’ve been trying to figure out the kinks & get brave enough to do it. Ha! At first, I was scared to death (so I believe the Lord helped me that first day), but as with any anxiety, the more I have done it, the easier it has become. & as an added bonus, by doing it, more people (teachers, other leaders, & even some children) are learning how to understand me, so I’m less afraid to speak up when I visit classes or see them in the hall!

Lately, the primary lessons have had a lot to do with people being healed by Christ, & on how Christ can heal us. Since I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a questioning child somewhere who wonders about me & how it affects their faith in the Lord healing them, I shared this with my primary teachers:

“The primary manual says to, “Explain that sometimes a miraculous healing is not the Lord’s will, but we can still be blessed by His love and comfort.” I know that is the case for me, & that I will eventually be healed in His own time. In the meantime, I have been healed in other ways, & strengthened to endure the ways I have not been healed.“ Often I am unaware of how I’m being strengthened until later. Here’s one:

I now like to start my day with activities that point me in the right direction, so I like to do morning prayer, meditate, & do my personal scripture study. I haven’t always done this. The routine evolved over the last 19 years. On a particularly difficult morning, I decided to listen to the podcast, “Don’t Miss This” for my personal scripture study. I turned it on because it was my routine to hear God’s word then, & I was so tired, I just wanted to listen to it, but they always make me laugh! Between being uplifted by God’s word & the clean humor, it’s like my slate was wiped clean & it changed my entire day! I am so glad I have implemented healthy routines in my life that can aid me in the struggles I face!

What helps me to endure

I have been asked what has helped me to endure the trial I’ve been given & I’ve always felt that my beliefs play a big part & that my testimony of Jesus Christ has strengthened me throughout my entire life, & especially during these 17 years post-stroke. So (as usual) I’m excited to watch general conference this weekend, but I get more excited when Easter is the same weekend!

“General conference is the worldwide gathering of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Twice a year, during the first weekend of April and the first weekend of October, Church leaders from around the world share messages or sermons focused on the living Christ and His gospel. Viewers learn how to find peace, hope, and joy in Jesus Christ; how to strengthen families by following Jesus’s teachings; and how to receive personal guidance and inspiration from God. General conference is streamed and broadcast live in about 70 languages and is later translated into more than 100 languages. We invite everyone—of all faiths, beliefs, and backgrounds from everywhere in the world—to watch, listen, and participate.”(https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/learn/general-conference?lang=eng)

If u want to watch with me, here are Ways to Watch or Listen to General Conference Live: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/learn/ways-to-watch-general-conference?lang=eng

There are 4 sessions (Saturday 11-1 & 3-5, & Sunday 11-1 & 3-5, central time. U can watch 1 session, or all 4 sessions! Or, after the conference, the messages are published on ChurchofJesusChrist.organd in the Church’s Liahona magazine.

Here’s an Apostle Testimony Montage:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2015-10-0001-apostle-testimony-montage?lang=eng

Where have I been?

It has been too long since I posted. I think I’ve over-extended myself. When I do, the 1st thing to go is taking care of myself, so I’m re-gaining all the weight I lost the last 3 months, I’m doing less therapy, etc. The 2nd thing I do is put my church calling (a volunteer job) before my friends & family … hence, I rarely text or call my kids, I isolate myself a lot, & as u have noticed, I haven’t been posting. Sometimes I realize it & spend time w/Mark, or text one of my kids.

In my last post, I mentioned how I liked being an empty nester, & over Christmas, my youngest, Sophia, mentioned how when she hears how we like being empty nesters, & she feels like we are saying that we are glad she is gone — but that simply is not true! With the birth of EACH child, my marriage has changed—not in a bad way, but Mark had to share the spotlight. & I had to give up parts of me…& when I had my stroke, I lost a LOT of me—all but the “mom part”. So, I’m getting to know “the new me”, & that spotlight is back to Mark. I like having the chance to get to know me, & re-acquaint w/Mark (prior to my stroke, I prided myself on my multi-tasking abilities, & it made me so proud to know that when I was in the hospital, it took 5 women to do what I did alone…but now, I can only focus on one thing at a time, & finally that one thing is Mark!)

So that’s what I’ve been doing. There’s no feeling of “oh, good…he/she/the kids are gone”. I will always love & miss my kids, but it’s a nice change to have more time for myself & Mark!

Through the years I’ve re-gained parts (like having a church calling), so the time I spend for myself has been devoted a lot to my church calling. Our church has a program called “primary”. The church handbook describes it as: “a home-centered, Church-supported (children’s) organization. It is for children ages 18 months to 11 years. At home, parents teach children the gospel. At church, Primary leaders and teachers support parents through lessons, music, and activities.” The last few years I have voluntarily served as the primary secretary. Recently, I was asked to be the Primary President…yes, me! It was exciting & simultaneously scary in so many ways!

So, lately I spend a lot of time being a primary president. I love doing it & having more time to be with Mark! I just need to find a better balance!

I am grateful…

President Nelson (from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) shared a wonderful message about gratitude on Friday:

One quote from his message was:

“Counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems. No matter our situation, showing gratitude for our privileges is a unique, fast-acting, and long-lasting spiritual prescription.” —President Russell M. Nelson

I think it is well-established here, that I have found gratitude very healing in my own life. If u follow me on Facebook or Instagram, for the next 7 days (starting today), I will be posting things I am grateful for, & I wanted to invite u to join me!

I love Halloween!

It has been forever since I have written… I seem to go from one thing to another, without ever coming up for air. But this year, I had 2 Halloween costumes that were created by 2 very creative people: 1^st I went to a Halloween party with my helper & friend, Angie, who did Dr. Finkelstein in one style, using make-up—Angie went as Sally, Dr. Finklestein’s helper from “Nightmare Before Christmas.”

Then, we had a trunk or treat at our church this weekend, but I wanted a more family-friendly costume for it, though…At 1st, I wanted to be a transformer. Then the Dr. Suess fish in a bowl.. But one day Mark joked about how when I talked, I sounded like E.T. & he had me say, “E.T. Phone home”. I DID sound like E.T., & the costume was born…so, Mark did ET in another style, using his own set of talents. He was Elliot, I was ET, & my niece was the moon. I love how I can give Mark or Angie a creative project, & say, “Here’s what I want to do…now make it look awesome!” & they do!

BTW, I still LOVE my standing chair! Our world & our bodies are made for standing, & it comes in handy for the smallest things (like I stood up in order to pull down the medical coat for my Dr. Finkelstein costume)! I had a tilt table (a type of standing frame), & had looked at other standing frames before the standing chair, but the fact that I needed help getting into them turned me off – & now I’d add that the lack of mobility while standing would kill me, cuz I love being able to move while standing: getting into cabinets,& going down the hall (which freaks my kids out to see me “walking” down the hall!)

Several years ago we looked into a standing wheelchair, but we were in our old house, & it wouldn’t fit in my elevator. I was super bummed, but it was a blessing in disguise: I was not strong enough then. I was too weak to even stand up w/o assistance, & after sitting in this chair for extended periods of time, I can see how much less support it offers…it would have exhausted me! , This chair requires much more torso strength, which I never developed until I started taking horse (equine) therapy (which I started later–I was like a rag doll until then!)