Family

Happy Halloween!

Most people go on vacation to get away from the daily stresses of life & unwind. I don’t. Vacations are usually harder for me—mentally & physically—& I lose a lot of independence. I go to be with family & because being with them makes me feel wanted & loved.

But Halloween?! I love Halloween! There’s at least one night every year when having a wheelchair can be an advantage, & I can almost take a break from the work & stress that come with having a disabled body. It’s nice to have one night to “recharge!”

I wasn’t sure I’d get that this year. My kids are grown & gone, & we didn’t have a Halloween party. But luckily, I have grandkids—and they gave us a theme! My grandson was Harry Potter, my granddaughter was Dobby, I was Professor Trelawney, & my husband was a Slytherin student.

A little Halloween magic, courtesy of the grandkids. ❤️

“The Person Who Has to Live with the Solution”

Last week, my daughter, Sophie, stood at the podium as the cohort president for her class of future speech-language pathologists at Rocky Mountain University of Health Professions. She spoke at their White Coat Ceremony, and while I’m incredibly proud of all she’s accomplished, one part of her talk especially stayed with me.

“Behind every diagnosis, assessment, and recommendation is a whole person whose priorities, fears, and hopes matter too. We should never become so focused on solving the problem that we forget the person who has to live with the solution.”

I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a better description of healthcare.

Fifteen years ago, I wrote on my blog, “Though I don’t have a speech therapist, Soph often is my best speech therapist.”

I could still say that today.

Sophie’s quote isn’t just something she believes as a future SLP. It’s something she’s lived for years.  I’m not just someone who had a brainstem stroke.  I’m her mom.

Twenty-two years ago, a brainstem stroke destroyed the pons in my brain. Learning to communicate afterward wasn’t just about pronouncing words—it was about learning to live in a brain that processes the world differently.

One of the changes I rarely talk about has nothing to do with my speech.  It’s noise.

Most people’s brains automatically filter sounds without them even realizing it. They tune out the air conditioner. They ignore conversations across the room. They separate one person’s voice from the restaurant chatter. Their brains effortlessly decide what’s important.

Mine doesn’t.  Restaurants can become exhausting. Group conversations often feel impossible. Background noise competes with every word someone is trying to say. Instead of joining the conversation, I often end up quietly sitting there because I can’t isolate anyone’s voice well enough to follow along.

I’ve always enjoyed time alone, but since my stroke, I often retreat to my craft room simply because it’s quiet. One-on-one conversations are much easier than groups. My brain has to work so much harder to process competing sounds that noisy environments leave me mentally drained.

For years, I assumed this was simply one more thing I had to accept after my stroke.  Then my daughter recommended I try Loop earplugs.

I’ll admit I was skeptical.

When I first tested them at home with the TV, I didn’t notice much difference. My helper/friendAngie suggested that maybe they worked better with actual human voices.

She was right.

After dinner with my family, I texted Sophie:

“The background noise is still there for me, but it’s reduced—I probably hear like a normal person! 😂 At first I thought they weren’t working because I could still hear the background noise. Then I realized I’d actually been involved in every conversation instead of sitting alone at dinner like I usually do. I even heard James…though I couldn’t hear myself respond to him! Haha.”

That realization almost made me cry.  I wasn’t hearing perfectly.  I was hearing better.  & better was enough.

Since then, I’ve started wearing them more often. I wore them to the Austin Rodeo this year, and for the first time, I realized how exhausting the rodeo had always been for me. I’d always thought I enjoyed it—but I also left completely drained. With the earplugs, I didn’t just survive the experience – I actually enjoyed it.

This summer, before going to see the  Monster Truck finals & Stadium of Fire—a huge concert (Brad Paisley this year), drone show, and fireworks spectacular—I did some research and decided to try Loop Experience earplugs.

Oh. My. Gosh.

They made the night at least 100 times more enjoyable. The show itself was incredible—I imagine they went all out for America’s 250th birthday—but for the first time I wasn’t spending all my energy trying to process the noise. I could simply enjoy it.

Though it may seem it, this post isn’t about earplugs.

It’s about Sophie’s quote.

Healthcare can become so focused on fixing problems that we forget to ask what life is actually like for the person living with those problems.

Sometimes the biggest victories aren’t found on a swallow study, an MRI, or an assessment.

Sometimes they’re found around a noisy dinner table where you realize you’ve actually been part of the conversation. Sometimes they’re found at a rodeo that no longer leaves you exhausted. And sometimes they’re found at a fireworks show where you’re finally free to focus on the wonder instead of the noise.

That’s why I’m so proud of Soph.

Not because she’s learning anatomy or physiology or how to interpret tests.

I’m proud because she already understands something that can’t really be taught: Behind every diagnosis is a person. And sometimes helping that person simply means helping them enjoy dinner with the people they love.

About a month ago, Soph did a swallow study on me. The clinicians saw aspiration. I saw 22 years of birthdays, motherhood, laughter, church talks, rodeos, and dinners with my family. They weren’t wrong about what they saw—but their findings weren’t the whole story. Sophie’s assessment made that clear, & while she makes suggestions, she knows that some things will not work for me.

Sophie’s quote at her white coat ceremony is what she lives.  She knows that both matter: the diagnosis AND the person…and I’m grateful she’s becoming the kind of clinician who never forgets that behind every diagnosis is a whole person.  The world needs more healthcare professionals like that.

22 years is a long time…

The last few weeks have had some rough days where I’ve had to remind myself that “I signed up for this being human thing!”  I don’t usually get sick, but when I do, it can wipe me out!  This last one seemed to cry out: “You’re old!”  Sadly, I am! 

March 16, 2026 was my 22nd stroke-aversary. 22 years…that’s a long time!   (My son, who was in first grade when I had my stroke, is now close to the same age I was when I had my stroke – & now he helps with the upkeep on my blog & lives nearby with his family – my 2 grandkids.  See, I’m old!) 

Speaking of my grandkids, we recently went on a trip with them. We had so much fun!   

Back in February, my grandson, James, & I had our first “real” conversation: 

James noticed I had a band-aid on my hand, & asked, “Grandma, what happened?”  I said I got an owie & he asked whaț kind of owìe. I tried to say, “burn,” & he said, “A what?” & he looked at me while I slowly said “burn”.. not thinking he’d understand. But he said, “oh, a burn”.  This conversation blew my mind (it seemed too “old” for his age), but it has led to some fun interactions with James in the following weeks.  He’s able to understand me like 80% of the time, so I can interact & tease him.  Back when my girls were this age, I couldn’t speak at all, so this is new territory for me, & very exciting! 

A few weeks ago, I was preparing to teach a lesson about goals in Young Women’s (11-17 year old girls at church), & I had ChatGPT research my website, & help me write about my “speech goal.” Here’s what was written: 

“In 2004, after my brainstem stroke, I was told I would never speak again. 

At the time, that seemed believable. I had a trach and couldn’t control my breathing. Sound wasn’t something I could choose to make, and speaking felt like an impossible long-term goal.  But I was determined to do it! 

What changed everything was learning to break that goal into small, reachable steps. 

My first goals had nothing to do with words—they were about breathing: 
controlling my breath, making simple sounds, and coordinating breath with voice. Later, those goals became saying a word, then a short phrase, and eventually several words on one breath. 

Each small goal is built on the last. 

Today, I can speak well enough to teach this lesson. I’m still hard to understand and still need a translator—but I can speak. Because of that, I consider my original long-term goal achieved. 

Now I have a new goal: to speak clearly enough that I don’t need a translator. My first step is learning to speak even when I get emotional and cry.  Sometimes I can do it.  Most of the time, I can’t! 

My life has taught me this: 
Big goals don’t happen all at once. They happen one small step at a time—especially when the finish line feels impossible.” 

Ironically, I shared this with my AI voice (because it reads faster than I read).  I don’t think I’ve said much about my AI voice, so here it goes: A year before my stroke, I recorded some books onto cassette tapes for my kids to listen to while I was gone. I was so insistent that it needed to be done that I did it after everyone went to bed, the night before I flew with my mom to see my sister in London. Fast forward 20+ years. My youngest daughter& her husband converted them to digital & made a unique AI voice with the recordings of my voice & added a Chicago accent (I grew up there). It’s pretty robotic if I type, so Sophie reads (what I write) with my AI voice to add voice inflections.  It’s pretty cool to have the child who remembers my voice the least sound like me! 

 
When I did my fireside last summer, I used my AI voice for 80-90% of the speaking. For the rest, I spoke…but since I talk so quiet (& I still sign when I get emotional), I asked my friend/helper, Angie, to repeat everything I said (if u wondered, yes, my fireside was recorded & is on my YouTube channel).   

Later, I shared a condensed version of my fireside for a Young Women’s lesson at church.   Mark told Angie to NOT repeat me during my YW lesson, so that was my first lesson teaching semi-alone (since my stroke)!  A few months later, I shared the above message (written with help from Chat GPT), & soon after, I was asked to teach the 14-15-year-old girls (Young Women) at church!  If I was told 22 years ago about all that my future held for me, I wouldn’t have believed it – it’s hard enough to believe right now while it’s happening! 

Me, busy?!

I have no excuse for not writing sooner – people say I’m busy, but I’m not sure why I’m so busy! Ha! I’ve been taking a writing course, working on my mental health, traveling – but there’s been downtime in between…I guess I’ve been doing more therapy with my increased downtime, however, I wanted to post about Halloween.

We just had our ward trunk or treat on Oct. 30, & I was excited that I could go off on my own this year, & talk to people without anyone with me…& this time, I did very little writing (only a few times, cuz there was loud music). I was shocked by how well several people did with figuring me out! This happens more frequently now (people being able to talk to me), but it is always exciting for me (10+ years of not being able to speak might be the reason why! Haha). As for my costume, I wore what I wore to my SILs Halloween party… I will share a video, but basically I was abducted by aliens (shout out to Ron for the awesome idea, & to Angie who made the UFO that was above me, with a light shining down on me, & there were iridescent streamers around me to simulate being beamed up).

We also went to a trunk or treat with my son, DIL, & grandkids, where I went as my teenage self – minus my big hair & hoop earrings. Haha

As for my travels, the “Lynn Family reunion” (my kids, their spouses, & my grandkids) went to Wyoming. We take turns planning reunions, & this year was Sophie & Davis Sophie went all out, complete with goody bags, signs on the doors in the house, games she’d made, etc. A favorite “tradition” is taking a family picture- & this year we added my granddaughter, Winnie (Rowynn)!

Mark, Mark’s sister, Margot, Margot ‘s husband, Jasen, & I also took a cruise to Italy, Greece, & Turkey. I thrive in small groups & had a great time with just the 4 of us! I have always enjoyed Margot’s company, & I was so comfortable with she & Jasen – it probably helped by how well both Margot & Jasen did with understanding me!

So I am in the alumni life story writing class (for the writing class I took) & I was on my cruise during the last class, so I was watching the replay & realized I was doing other stuff as I “listened.” The thought came to me to just pick one, so I can put my heart into it. So I just listened to the re-play, but I should probably always do that. Is that why I’m considered busy? But how can I do just one of those things?! I try to rotate & be present with whatever I try to do, though I struggle when I’m listening & not doing.

Been busy!

Sorry, I haven’t been great about writing on my website.  I’m kept pretty busy with a mental health class, & with being the primary president at church!  I also went on a Disney cruise in January (on the new boat -it’s pretty amazing!), & in May, I  went to Utah to see both of my daughters walk at their college graduations, & to Florida to see my nephew (at his HS graduation),  I’m proud to say that I remain “Faceplant free since 2023”( when the planes landed, I didn’t fall forward – Thanks goes to Red Arena, my horse therapy). 

Technically, my son AND daughter graduated from BYU.  My youngest daughter (whose senior was during COVID, so she had never had a graduation) graduated as well, but from Utah State – though every class was online, so she had never stepped foot on campus until graduation week.  (I had the best laugh when the graduating students sang the fight song!)