Family

Make the best of whatever life hands u!

I posted this on FaceBook & Instagram,but in case u still missed it, I thought I’d share it here:

At first, this virus thing wasn’t affecting my life too much…I’ve had to face some cancelations, but now I’ve had to start canceling therapies, so it’s getting personal. Not fun. Yoga & music therapy I’m doing via Skype/Zoom, still not my favorite! 🙄

However, one of the reasons I married Mark is because, if he wants to, he can make the best of any situation. (I had no idea how useful that’d be!). Today, we were using the paintball guns to shoot stuff. Quite therapeutic. 😂

I have a video & more pictures on FaceBook & on Instagram

25th wedding anniversary
26 years ago, I attended the First Presidency’s Christmas devotional, not realizing that night would change my life forever, as it was my 1st date w/my soon-to-be husband, who I married a year later tomorrow. (Shout out to Sandra who set us up on that blind date!). I was pretty naive back then, & I like to think that I was smarter than I was & subconsciously knew what I needed because now I have an incredibly supportive husband who has stayed by my side through physical & mental health issues, & helped me to raise 3 incredible children…& as I attended my 1st child’s wedding reception, it occurred to me how, despite all the hardships, he is still here!  Looking at the newlyweds, I recalled how when we 1st met, there were so many little thoughtful things Mark did that made me fall in love with him, but after 25 years of marriage, these same things that used to be so great, have become a part of my life, & more common.  So at times, I can feel entitled to them.

But as great as things can be,  there are still tough days. Years ago, I read somewhere that when I take the sacrament, & am seeking for the forgiveness of my own sins, I should offer that same consideration to my spouse. That was pivotal advice for me!  Some days, that is easy to do, while other days, it can be super HARD!  I’m grateful, though, for that advice, as it has helped me with some very difficult times!  How ironic that our 25th wedding anniversary falls on a Sunday this year!

Zach got married!

My firstborn was recently married in the Sacramento, CA temple.  (Yes, I am that old…)  I have never seen someone so happy!  As he danced with his new wife, my dear friend, Kathy, leaned over & asked me, “Aren’t u glad u are here?”  I was grateful for her question, as my eyes filled with tears & my mind was flooded with a memory:

Shortly after my stroke (& while I was severely depressed & wanting to die), I remember Mark taking me out to watch our kids ride their bikes—as the 2 oldest kids had just been taught by Grandpa Lynn how to ride their bikes with no training wheels.  As we watched them, Mark leaning forward & saying, “Aren’t u glad u are still alive to see this, & can be there for all of their milestones, like their wedding?”

So, a shout-out to my son, Zach, & his new wife, Maddie!  I am happy I got to witness (2 meanings!) the event!  Love u both!

At their wedding, a highlight for me was getting to stand & “dance” with my husband!  At the end of the dance, we were able to share some advice with the new couple, but I’d like to do mine now…so, here’s a bit of advice for the newlyweds:

If u get upset with each other, serve willingly!  I have always joked about how the stroke has saved my marriage, but I really think it has!  Serving someone who has ticked u off is such a good way to be filled with Christ’s love, & soften your heart: I have seen my girls be sooo mad at me, & then as they are in the process of helping me, I witness their heart softening towards me, & by the time they finish, they apologize!  & 9 times out of 10, I am the one who ticks Mark off (good thing I had the stroke, cuz there’s lots of service he can do for me-HaHa), & while it takes a lot of humility on my part to ask for help, he has never denied helping me… he may be reluctant at times, but he surprises me by always being willing!

& his willingness is the key because the marriage rates for brainstem stroke survivors are not good, despite the fact that they are serving their partner who had a stroke.  Being willing shows love, not “servitude.”

Also a shout out to Kathy, who I had never met, but she bravely came to my son’s wedding!  After my stroke, my family searched the web for any info they could find on brainstem strokes.  There was little info to be found, but they found Kathy, who had had a brainstem stroke, & provided me with hope that I had a possibility to do better in this life, as she was walking, talking, & driving a car!

One last shout-out to my daughter, Jessie (aka “Hermana Lynn”) who was at the wedding in spirit, as she was physically in Iowa representing The Church Of Jesus Christ, &  serving the Lord.  Hats off to her for putting God 1st in her life!

TheDemon in the Phone

Back around 2006 or 2007 (before I could talk), I started using a phone.  We had caller ID, so I only answered when my husband or kids called, cuz they knew “the system”: 1 beep on any button meant “hi, this is mom.”  Then the “fun” began (I’m being sarcastic, if u can’t tell)—whoever called played 20 questions with me (usually, the 1st question was to see if someone was there who could read my ASL,  & I would answer them with 1 beep for yes, 2 beeps for no).

Then, I got a cell phone in 2016.  This seemed silly, since I couldn’t use a phone yet, really…the phone was more to hold on to my son’s phone #, during his mission (which I “stole” because I’d been texting from it those 2 years, so my son was nice & let me keep my texting #.)

Last year (2018) my son called me & asked me to return his call…& when I went to return his call, I had like a 15 minute panic attack before calling him back—“what if he didn’t understand me & I was all alone, & there was no one to translate me?”  It had been 15 years since I held a conversation on a phone….I was kinda’ out of practice…”what do I say/ask to keep a conversation going?”  “Was this a good time for him?”

I told my music therapist about this experience, & she encouraged me to start having more phone conversations with more open-ended questions, & to also have people call me.  I started small with just immediate family & 1 friend, until I got the nerve to post about it (but to those kind friends who responded  & said to call, I STILL haven’t had the nerve to call them!)  However, my sister & I set up a weekly time to talk.  I still can be hesitant to call her  if I don’t think my speech is good that day, but now it’s not my “usual” anxiety as much as it is just knowing how much energy I  need to  have to speak,& if  talking is hard that day, it takes lots of energy to speak!

Monday, my missionary (daughter) called me—& for the 1st time ever, I wasn’t even phased when I heard my phone ring, I just answered it, not even caring that I was alone!  She seemed to understand me just fine, & I enjoyed our talk! I felt  like Supergirl when we were done because I had conquered a demon!  I am sure it has helped to talk to my sister (thanks Missy!), because I’m ok if my family calls now…someday I’ll get to where I feel comfortable answering any call(instead of getting nervous & hanging up on telemarketers! Ha! Ha!)