Recovery

How’s my memory?

My son left on his mission this week (https://www.mormon.org/me/643G/Zach — the “about me section is old, but the rest has been updated), & if we are Facebook or Instagram friends, u may have seen a post & a scrapbook page I made about it!  I am often asked about my memory now-a-days.  It is 100% in tact, but when I had my stroke, while I did not loose my memories, it is like the “bridge to memory land” was burned…so many of my memories are triggered.  Luckily I’m an avid journal writer & scrapbooker.  I never dreamed that I’d profit by doing these things, but I have!

I am in the process of re-reading my old journals, & it has been an interesting process. I began writing just because I was told to, & became more frequent a writer because I wished that my anscestors had kept journals, so I had a connection to them, but since they hadn’t, I decided to keep mine for my future posterity… I thought that was it. But as I re-read things, I can see the Lord’s hand in my life 20 some years ago, preparing me for people & events in my life today!  & as I read, I feel that my stroke was no accident!

Scrapbooking provides me with the pictures that accompany the stories I write about.  (& if u like to look at my scrapbook pages, I added some new pictures of traditional pages I have recently made for Zach & Jessie).  Pre-stroke, I slowed down on making pages that might involve more than 1 kid…I wasn’t quite sure how to do it until scanners became so big in the scrapbooking world, & now that “the stars have aligned”, I have worked on finishing Zach’s baby book, & then I did Sophia’s baby book–I had never scrap booked my baby book for Sophia, the one kid who scrapbooks & would appreciate a scrapbook.  (Soph has seen her book & seen Zach & Jessie’s nearly finished baby scrapbooks, & though she has never said a word, it has always bothered me that her scrapbook wasn’t made!)  Now it’s Jessie’s turn…

After my stroke, I tried traditional scrapbooking on several occasions, but often felt discouraged or frustrated unless I “dumbed it down.”  It’s just so hard to explain the picture in my mind!  So I was thrilled to discover digital scrapbooking, cuz I could do my hobby without any help or need to explain the “picture” in my mind, & it was only up to my own abilities to see “my picture” come to pass!  However, I still had all those pages I had organized to do.  My mom gave me a glimmer of hope: she began scanning all of my scrapbook supplies & preparing them for me to use on digital pages–a huge job (which I appreciated SO much, cuz I’d been trying to do it myself, but with my double vision, it took me hours to do what should take me minutes, & I couldn’t see me scrapbooking traditionally very much in the future, so I might as well use what I had bought!)  That took care of everything after the year 2004 (when I had my stroke), but I still wanted to somehow traditionally scrapbook at least Sophia’s baby book.  I decided to give Angie a shot, anticipating to really “dumb it down”, since she doesn’t scrapbook.  But, boy, was I in for a surprise!

I don’t know if Angie just thinks like me, so she “gets” the picture in my head, or if it’s cuz I don’t allow myself to fully form a picture in my mind, so I’m not disappointed (I have been working on my OCD & anxiety, & it helps if I don’t let my OCD take charge) or if it’s both: But I will give Angie a basic idea, then just let her do her thing, & tell her to “make it  awesome”, & she does exactly what I’d do! ( For example, when Sophia was a baby, I came up with an  idea for a Cracker Jack scrapbook page, so pre-stroke I scanned all the stuff from a Cracker Jack box, & kept the wrapper–yes, I held onto that trash for 12 years!  The idea was a fuzzy picture now & I wasn’t sure how the page would work, but I did my best to tell Angie my jumbled thoughts, & then she said she’d find a way to make it happen!  The page she made is exactly how I would’ve made the fuzzy picture clear in my mind!)  Additionally, since I had journaled about the things I was scrapbooking, I could scan it, & still include my handwriting on the pages!

In  the past it wasn’t necessarily the people who helped me that made it harder, I just have evolved in 2 major ways:  1.  I’m a control freak, & I’ve needed to learn how to let go, realizing there are more ways than 1 way to do things, & the other ways may even be better than my way.  2.  My stroke affected my ability to process & use words well to express myself.  It didn’t take away my ability to communicate, just “slowed it down”. (For example, when I think I’ve written a post, I wait about 24 hours, so it can “stew”/process.  Usually I think of corrections &/or additions.  Often, I recall more “colorful” words, fill in the “blanks,” & re-arrange things to make more sense).  However, I don’t have time to process when someone is helping me that instant!   I’ve given in to that, which has been easier to do, since my helper just happens to have the talents & abilities that have helped me to evolve!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!  Mother’s Day is a bit different for me, as I usually have people feeding me anyway!

 

I keep being asked about what my favorite thing about my new home is…the thing that is my favorite changes from week to week, but what doesn’t change, is how it has increased my independence.  When we moved, a big reason was to make our home more accessible, cuz I’d “outgrown” our old home, & I was  banging into walls & things, as I tried to do more.  So our new home has wider spaces & hallways, & bigger & more open rooms—for example, I can TURN in our pantry!  Other ways I have discovered increased independence:

  • Drawers have been used a lot in my craft room, so I can do many things on my own in there now!
  • We have a “smart home”, so I can use my iPad to turn lights on/off, a TV on/off, regulate a thermostat if needed, see who’s at my front door & see in other places in my home, turn on music in rooms, etc.  I can even call people by name to certain rooms in our home!  While this is all great, what makes it even better is how this aids me as a mother—I can turn things down or off if my kids are being “kids,” I can turn off all the lights in our home if Mark is gone…& best of all, everything can be done from the comfort of my bed!
  • I love the kitchen because I can do SOOO much more in there now!  In fact, I just want to share that lately, I have fed myself 2 out of 3 meals!  It is so cool to feel hungry, & be able to go get myself food!  (That can be a good or a bad thing!)  I will share pictures of these 3 things that have made such a difference:
    • The sink—the spout is on the side, & it is touch-sensative, so I can finally wash my hands & some dishes (I actually like washing dishes, & since my kids think it’s gross to clean my cup out from my green smoothies, they are probably glad that I can do it now!)
    • The microwave—we have one down low, with a drawer, so I can do it– & I confess that at times I will cook popcorn in it, just cuz I can!
    • The fridge—it has a door I can use, but the best part is this has a drawer I can access, with things like fruit, veggies, hummus, babaganush,meals I can heat up, or eat cold…

2016-03-30 13.41.07

I just want to brag!

I know it’s been awhile, but I just want to brag!  Wednesday, April 27, I got myself dinner…Now, I have gotten myself some “easy” meals, but this was not just any old dinner: I put leftover burger & fries on a plate, reheated it, & gave myself a bib.  J  I love how much more independent this house allows me to be!  (More on that later!)

Concerning my kids (u may be aware of some of this, if u follow me on Facebook &/or Instagram):

Zach opened his mission call 3/31. He leaves June 1 to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He will serve for 2 years in San Diego, CA mission, ASL speaking (the letter said “u will prepare to teach the gospel in ASL” ).  In my opinion, Zach has been preparing for his mission since he was 6 years old!

Saturday, April 23, my son, Zach, came home from college (BYU), & as he unpacked, I sat in his room, & held a CONVERSATION with him!  I’ve held conversations with family & friends just sitting by me, staring at my mouth, but he was able to walk around & unpack!  I’m sure it’s not all me… In fact, I KNOW it’s not!

My youngest daughter, Sophie, competed against several middle & high school show choirs, swing, & jazz choirs in a Show Choir competition on April 1st, w/ her amazing group, the Ringtones, last   They won best vocals & grand champs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-oSBMP-Zy4

This group of girls is so motivated!  Around December. They started hanging out here, & learning songs just for fun. In February, the choir & voice teachers heard them, & got involved, realizing something could happen, & since the school had no show/swing choir, they entered this last competition as the LTMS swing choir.

I know they have practiced hard!  It was good to see the “fruit of their labors”!  & I can’t believe these girls are in 8th grade, & just started seriously practicing a month ago!  They usually practice here, & I don’t get tired of hearing them!

As for my oldest daughter, Jessie, is now 16.  She has been driving for a while (she had a hardship license–since I’m disabled, but I think the license was more of a hardship for us, cuz it rarely helped us!), &  she can now date (heaven help us)!  In fact, this weekend, she is going to “Mormon Prom.”  Last year was the 1st time I got to check it  out, & it was amazing to see EVERY girl wearing a modest prom dress!  It gave a different feel to the evening that was so wonderful!  I am glad my daughter can attend such a great event!

Also, since Mark & I have been so focused on Zach’s mission call, & Sophie’s choir competition, my other daughter, Jessica, took it into her own hands to do April Fools on us this year!  I thought u’d enjoy seeing what she did…

2016-04-02 13.55.02

my 12th “stroke-aversary”

Yesterday was my 12th “stroke-aversary”, so when Mark found me in tears yesterday (I was just sick, & wanted to go to bed, but was having an anxiety attack at the same time!), he thought it was about my stroke-aversary!  Lol. Guess it kinda’ was that too, cuz I wanted to DO something, & “celebrate”!

There have been things have occurred this week that have reminded me of some things:

Life is fragile.  U never know what God’s plan is for u…I had a very different plan mapped out in my head!  I am sure my kids would’ve preferred a “normal” family, but I am grateful for all that my family does for me, & I will be eternally grateful for being blessed with a man who has stood by me & helped me to be a better person.  I have been fortunate to marry into such a supportive family, as well as for being born into a supportive family, & constantly being surrounded by supportive friends.  Most of all, I am grateful for Christ’s atonement, because I know that I am never alone, & that Christ is aware of me & my feelings.  It is hard for me to imagine the suffering He endured as He experienced not only the things for me, but for everyone!

 

Since I’m often asked what can be done for someone who is going through a “rough patch”, I thought that I would share what some of the things were that were done for me post-stroke, & maybe it will “jump-start” your brain, so u can adapt the idea to another situation:

  1. 100s of “thinking of you” & “you’re in our prayers” cards were sent, including some emails, & several people wrote to me more than 1 time
  2. Hospital & home visits from family & friends, near &far
  3. Friends placed me on LDS temple prayer rolls
  4. A small picture book was sent, w/pictures from my youth, by my seminary teacher
  5. Primary classes sent me cards & pictures of the kids
  6. Flowers & a big cookie were sent to me in the hospital
  7. My best friend recorded favorite shows for me
  8. My sister would come to the hospital & file my nails
  9. Books were sent to inspire as they were read to me
  10. A favorite picture of Christ was mailed to me
  11. Someone sent me a favorite movie
  12. Flowers were given to me weekly, once I was home by church friends
  13. A church friend recorded Sunday School classes for me, while I was in the hospital
  14. When I was in the hospital, Mark finished off selling & shipping the eBay stuff that I was in the process of selling
  15. A church friend recorded the Easter sacrament program
  16. My family held Easter & Family Home Evening (FHE) in the hospital with me.
  17. My high school best friend & her family gave up a Disney trip for spring break and went to Cleveland.
  18. My cousins gave me (my first) iPod, burned with church talks and music
  19. Bishop came to the hospital to help give me the sacrament.
  20. A family member filled our fridge with yogurts and apple sauce.
  21. A church friend was best doctor—he made house calls came in on weekends and holidays just for me
  22. Mark kept my journal for me, until I could type & keep my OWN journal again
  23. Some meals were brought in.
  24. My brother helped to get me the best hospital bed to use at home
  25. A church friend sent the Relief Society Newsletter to me
  26. Church friends let me use their pool for swim therapy
  27. Many people found creative ways to use their talents to help me…Some of those ways were:
    1. My Visiting Teacher taught me to watercolor , which increased my range of motion
    2. My brother sent me a CD he had recorded of him playing his own arrangements of hymns
    3. A church friend made a Jesus sculpture for me
    4. Deaf friends taught ASL.
    5. The Young Women from church visited me in my home, to share things they made for me at girls camp, & gave me a “candy gram”
    6. The entire primary sent me cards, & some were selected & put on a quilt for me
    7. CDs were sent that had mixes of inspirational & relaxing music
    8. My husband continually thought of ways to make me smile & laugh, but would also just spend lots of time with me.
  28. Friends took me to a Donny Osmond concert (because they knew  that I liked him!)
  29. My sister her spouse, & Mark’s parents moved to Indy to help out
  30. Friends helped with range of motion
  31. My brother & his family took my family to Disney World
  32. A church friend made preparations so I could return to the temple
  33. My Visiting Teachers often sent cards w/uplifting quotes

 

And I’m sure that I’m forgetting stuff, but maybe this list will give you ideas of what to do for someone who’s sick/hurt!

I’m back!

I haven’t posted in a while, cause so much has been going on: we just moved, went on a Disney Cruise, found & trained  another person to help me, & hI ave been recovering from pain that was in my only working limb (I didn’t even know why it hurt…my guess is stress & tightened muscles didn’t mix with the lack of stretching & lack of therapy in the last few weeks, but it severely “crippled” me—I could barely type, sometimes I was unable to feed myself, etc.).  But good news: I am doing MUCH better, & even made myself my own bag of popcorn!  (Granted, I made a mess too, but it was the 1st time in almost 12 years that I made popcorn, & poured my own bowl!)

 

Since my article is being run again in LDS Living magazine again, I thought I’d share some “updates”, & share some things the original LDS Living article got wrong:

  • My stroke occurred in my Indianapolis, Indiana home – we moved to Austin, Texas to build an accessible home, & be by family.
  • I used to be the compassionate service leader, & a Young Womens (YW) teacher before that, but now  I am the YW Personal Progress Leader (check out this remarkable youth program)–& recently earned my medallion again, along with both of my daughters (who were 13 & 15 at the time)!
  • “I Love to See the Temple” is one of my favorite primary (children)songs, but not THE favorite! (It’s this.)
  • I speak a LOT now.  As u may be aware, I started horse therapy after this article 1st came out (which has been AMAZING & strengthened my core so much!), & my therapist jokes that when we 1st started, I could only say a few words, but “now (she) can’t get me to shut up!”  If u get to know my Sophie, she’s so much like me, & she talks all the time, just as I used to do—so my therapist is correct in her explanation!
  • Our 20th wedding anniversary was in 2014.