Recovery

THE TEEN YEARS ARE HERE!

AN UPDATE: ZACH IS NOW A SOPHOMORE, LEARNING THE PROPER WAY 2 SIGN (NOT “JENNY-ESE”), & DRIVING. JESS IS IN 7TH GRADE, & SOPH IS IN 5TH GRADE. NEXT YEAR, I’LL HAVE NO BABIES IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! IT IS KILLING ME THAT I NO LONGER HAVE MY BABIES, WHO RESPECT ME, JUST BECUZ MY NAME IS “MOM.”

I LOVE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL–HECK, I TAUGHT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! MY BABIES NEED 2 STOP GROWING! I’M NOT GOOD AT THIS TEENAGE THING, & IT’S REQUIRING ME 2 FIGURE OUT WHERE I STAND (AS A MOM) ALL OVER AGAIN…WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG, IT WAS HARD THEN, TOO, BUT I FOUND OUT THAT THEY JUST LIKED ME THERE, & LOVED ME REGARDLESS OF WHAT I WAS CAPABLE OF… LUCKILY, SOPH IS STILL YOUNG ENOUGH…SHE WAVERS, & HAS HER PRE-TEEN MOMENTS, BUT SHE USUALLY IS STILL HER MOM’S ADVOCATE!

BUT NOW IT’S A NEW BOAT. THE KIDS ARE GETTING OLDER, WHICH MEANS THEY NOT ONLY NOTICE MY WEAKNESSES, & ALTHOUGH I AM NOT A GREAT “TEEN PARENT,” I THINK I AM A DECENT PARENT (LUCKILY MY HUSBAND CAN HELP ME DO BETTER—A HUGE BLESSING 4 ME). YET I KNOW THE KIDS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY SITUATION—IT IS ONLY NATURAL! BUT IT DOESN’T HELP THE FACT THAT I CAN’T MAKE THEM DO ANYTHING, & CAN’T GIVE ANY SORT OF PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT (I’M JUST WORDS…& I CAN’T EVEN SCREAM, TO SHOW HOW MAD I FEEL–I CAN ONLY CRY, & THEY DON’T CARE IF I CRY!).

NOT THAT MY KIDS ARE BAD! I ACTUALLY AM SUPER BLESSED W/GREAT KIDS, SO WHEN THEY ACT UP, A LITTLE THING LOOKS BIG! BUT THEY ARE JUST EXPLORING THEIR INDEPENDENCE, & I KNOW THAT! THAT IS NOTHING DIFFERENT FROM OTHER TEENS, BUT MY KIDS HAVE AN ADDITIONAL, UNIQUE, ASPECT—A DIS-ABLED, HELPLESS PARENT! (IT IS VERY AWKWARD 2 DISCIPLINE, & THEN ASK 4 HELP!) LOL

SOMETIMES, TOO, I AM GLAD I HAVE A VOICE, SO I CAN FORCE THEM TO ACKNOWLEDGE, INSTEAD OF IGNORE, ME (“HI!,” “BYE!,” “GOODMORNING!,” “HOW ARE U?,” “HOW WAS YOUR DAY?,” “HAVE A GOOD DAY!”) BUT IT IS ALSO GOOD THAT ONLY THEY UNDERSTAND ME, WHEN I SAY THINGS LIKE “I LOVE U!” (YEARS AGO, I TAUGHT THEM A “LOVE SQUEEZE,” HOPING THAT WHEN THEY WERE TEENS, I COULD SQUEEZE THEIR HAND, & W/O SAYING A WORD, THEY’D KNOW I LOVED THEM…BUT, THAT BACKFIRED…I CAN’T GRAB THEIR HANDS UNLESS THEY ARE RIGHT NEXT 2 ME…& IT JUST ISN’T COOL BEING BY YOUR MOM, & EVEN MORESO BY YOUR DIS-ABLED MOM!, HOLDING HER HAND!)

ANYWAY, THE PBA MEDS CAME AT SUCH A GREAT TIME! THEY HELP SO MUCH W/EMOTIONAL THINGS, LIKE PARENTING! (WHAT TEEN WANTS A BAWLING/CRAZY MOM?) & WHEN ONE OF THE TEENS AT CHURCH INTERVIEWED ME FOR THEIR SPEECH CLASS, I DIDN’T BAWL, OR EVEN FLINCH, WHEN SHE ASKED ME SENSATIVE QQUESTIONS ABOUT THE DAY OF MY STROKE (I HAVE ALWAYS BAWLED B4, BUT I COULD EVEN JOKE ABOUT IT!)

& LAST WEEK, I WENT W/MK 2 HIS THERAPY/WORK CONFERENCE 4 LDS (LATTER-DAY SAINT/ “MORMON”) THERAPISTS IN UTAH. HOW AWESOME 2 NOT WORRY ABOUT MY PBA! I COULD TALK ABOUT EMOTIONAL STUFF I LEARNED, & I DIDN’T “IMPLODE” WHEN WE GOT 2 THE HOTEL ROOM, FROM HOLDING IN ALL MY PBA!

LAST YEAR THE WORK CONFERENCEFOCUSED ON PORN, BUT I STILL LEARNED STUFF, & WAS MENTALLY STIMULATED–& I NEVER AM MENTALLY STIMULATED! PLUS, THE FOOD WAS AWESOME, SO I AGREED 2 GO. TURNED OUT THE TOPIC WAS “FORGIVENESS.” AWESOME! (I EVEN TOOK HAND-WRITTEN NOTES!) ANYWAY, I HAVE A LIST OF 151 REASONS WHY I LOVE MK, & I REALIZED THAT THE LIST OF WHY I LOVE MK, HELPS ME BE MORE 4GIVING (THEY COMPARED 4GIVENESS 2 A BOAT W/HOLES, & INSTEAD OF SEEING HIS 1 BIG HOLE, OR THE MANY HOLES IN HIS BOAT, I SEE MY HOLES TOO)

I HAVE NOTICED, THOUGH, THAT I CRY MORE NOW…& IN UTAH, I HAD A LAUGHING EPISODE. I HAVE WONDERED IF I’M “GETTING USED TO THE PBA MEDS,” OR JUST IF WE HAVE STARTED 2 FORGET HOW HORRIBLE THOSE PBA EPISODES WERE. I DON’T THINK WE HAVE 4GOTTEN HOW IT AFFECTED OUR LIVES, JUST HOW SEVERELY IT AFFECTED US.

I ALSO THINK PART IS THAT I LET MY GUARD DOWN:
1. IN THE BEGINNING, I EMPLOYED MORE OF THE TRICKS I HAVE LEARNED 2 PREVENT CRYING, SIMPLY BECUZ THE MEDS MADE IT SO MUCH EASIER TO CONCENTRATE ON THOSE TRICKS…
2. IN THE BEGINNING, I HAD A MENTALITY, I THINK, WHERE I RESISTED PBA MMORE, SIMPLY W/WILL POWER, BELIEVING THAT I COULDN’T CRY, BECUZ THAT WAS WHAT THE MEDS WERE FOR! BUT EVEN THEN, I STATED THAT I STILL COULD HAVE PBA EPISODES, THEY WERE JUST SHORTER! (& IF I CRY/LAUGH, IT STILL IS MUCH SHORTER)
3. I LET MK & I TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT WERE TOO EMOTIONAL B4, SO THEY WERE EITHER NOT DISCUSSED, OR I EMAILED ABOUT THEM.

MY NEW PBA MEDS

THIS SUMMER I SHARED HOW IN THE 1ST WEEKEND OF JUNE, I WAS ON A FAMILY VACATION IN PADRE ISLAND, TEXAS. DUE TO MY PBA (EMOTIONAL LIABILITY, WHICH MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS), I DECIDED TO LEAVE A STORE ALONE. UNFORTUNATELY, I WENT OFF THE CURB & FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR, LANDING ON MY KNEES & FACE, IN THE PARKING LOT…I SAID THE FOLLOWING:

“IT IS A MIRACLE THAT SOMETHING THAT COULD’VE KILLED ME, ONLY ENDED UP W/A BROKEN NOSE (WHICH GAVE ME 2 BLACK EYES), & SOME CUTS ON MY FACE, KNEES, & 3 FINGERS ON MY RIGHT HAND! ONLY GOD COULD’VE PROTECTED ME SO WELL! SIMPLY AMAZING THAT MY TEETH ARE FINE, MY RIGHT HAND ISN’T BROKEN, I GOT NO STITCHES, & MY SKULL WASN’T CRUSHED! WHAT MERCY & LOVE I FEEL! “

IT WAS FOLLOWED BY THE MOST MIRACULOUS WEEK OF HEALING! (I WILL POST A SCRAPBOOK PAGE, CALLED “MY RECOVERY,” SHOWING THE HEALING PROCESS.) THE KNUCKLES ON MY RIGHT HAND ARE STILL HEALING & RED, & MAY BE THAT WAY FOR YEARS, BUT MY FACE LOOKS FINE. MY NOSE HASN’T QUITE HEALED, BUT THAT ALSO FEELS LIKE AN ODD BLESSING, BECAUSE THE WAY THE NOSE IS CROOKED, IS HELPING MY SPEECH!

AS I SAID LAST JUNE, “I’M AMAZED HOW GOD FINDS WAYS 2 TURN BAD SITUATIONS INTO GOOD. I KNOW HUNDREDS OF WAYS THAT MY STROKE HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A BLESSING. THIS WAS NO DIFFERENT: I HAVE WANTED A NEUROLGIST 4 QUITE SOMETIME (ODDLY, MOSTLY SO I MAY TRY THE NEW MEDS 4 PBA!), & THE HOSPITAL WE WENT TO WAS ONE OF THE FEW THAT SPECIALIZE IN STROKE NEUROLOGY. MY DR. WAS A HUGE PART IN SETTING UP THE STROKE UNIT. SHE GAVE ME A REFERRAL TO SEE A GUY NEARBY TO ADDRESS SOME THINGS THAT MAY BENEFIT ME IN THE LONG RUN.”

IN THE PAST I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO ATTEND MANY THINGS THAT ARE TOO EMOTIONAL. MY CHILDREN ANTICIPATE THAT I WILL CRY & EMBARRASS THEM AT ANY CHURCH OR SCHOOL FUNCTION WHERE I FEEL PRIDE, OR ANY OTHER EMOTION. SPIRITUAL THINGS, LIKE ATTENDING A BAPTISM, A FUNERAL, SHARING MY TESTIMONY AT CHURCH, OR GOING TO THE TEMPLE ARE EXTREMELY HARD. IN FACT, THERE ARE TIMES THE LOAD I HAVE TO BEAR FEELS TOO BIG, BUT AFTER A HEART-FELT PRAYER IT SOMEHOW BECOMES BEARABLE

LITTLE DID I KNOW WHAT A HUGE BLESSING THE NEUROLOGIST WOULD BE! HE GAVE ME MEDICINE FOR MY PBA (EMOTIONAL LIABILITY), WHICH IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST STRUGGLES! THE MEDICINE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE!
WITH THE HELP OF THE MEDICINE, I HAVE FELT HAPPIER, MORE RELAXED, & IT HAS HELPED MY MARRIAGE & FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS. & I HAVE NOT SHYED AWAY FROM ATTENDING EVENTS THAT ARE TOO EMOTIONAL—IN FACT, I RECENTLY ATTENDED THE LATTER-DAY SAINT (LDS/MORMON) TEMPLE 2 SUPPORT A MEMBER OF THE WARD (CONGREGATION). IT WAS SCARY ENOUGH THAT IT WAS IN THE TEMPLE, & 2 SUPPORT SOMEONE I KNEW, BUT I ALSO WAS ABLE TO DO MORE, THAT I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO DO IN THE 8+ YEARS SINCE MY STROKE!

ONCE A YEAR, THE PRIMARY (3-12 YEARS OLD) SHARE WHAT THEY HAVE LEARNED THROUGH WORDS & SONG. IT IS CALLED THE PRIMARY PROGRAM. SINCE I WAS THE PRIMARY CHORISTER AT THE TIME OF MY STROKE, THE PRIMARY SONGS HELPED ME THROUGH MY FIRST YEAR POST-STROKE, & THE PRIMARY PROGRAM HOLDS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. CONSEQUENTLY, I HAVE A SUPER HARD TIME ATTENDING THE PRIMARY PROGRAM EACH YEAR, SO I ATTEND THE PRACTICES IN ORDER TO “GET OUT” MY TEARS, & “NUMB” MYSELF. HOWEVER, THIS YEAR, SINCE I AM ON THE PBA MEDS, I DIDN’T GO TO THE PRACTICES.

THE PROGRAM WAS SUNDAY, & MY TISSUE STAYED DRY–THE CLOSEST I GOT 2 TEARS WAS WHEN THE PRIMARY PRESIDENT/LEADER SPOKE, & WHEN THEY SANG MY FAV. PRIMARY SONG (“I’M TRYING 2 BE LIKE JESUS”)…SO I DISTRACTED MYSELF, TRYING 2 REMEMBER THE ASL FOR THE SONG! I MADE IT THROUGH THE PROGRAM, THOUGH, W/O A TEAR!

TALKING

WHEN MY DAUGHTER , SOPHIA STUDIES FOR HER SPELLINNG TESTS, SHE LOVES TO HAVE ME READ A SPELLING WORD TO HER, SO SHE CAN GUESS THE WORD & SPELL IT 4 ME. IT’S A CHALLENGING, BUT FUN, GAME 4 ME…& SOPHIA HAS A WAY OF MAKING ME LAUGH, SO I REALLY ENJOY IT. LUCKILY IT’S WEEKEND, SO SHE WON’T NEED ME 2 SAY HER WORDS BECUZ ON FRIDAY I LOST MY VOICE. KIND OF FUNNY WHEN THE GIRL WHO CAN’T SPEAK, COMPLAINS ABOUT LOSING HER VOICE! LOL BUT, AS MY MUSIC THERAPIST POINTED OUT, IT SHOWS THAT I HAVE A VOICE TOO LOOSE, SO 3 CHEERS 4 THAT!

BUT ON THE SUBJECT OF TALKING, WHEN I DO TILT TABLE, I COUNT MY KNEE BENDS, SO MY HELPER/ASSISSTANT, ANGIE KNOWS HOW I SAY MY #’S. A WHILE AGO, I COUNTED TO SIX FOR ANGIE, WHILE LAYING DOWN. ANGIE WAS SHOCKED AT HOW WELL I DID! I ACTUALLY INCLUDED MY “S’S” & “T’S.” BUT RECENTLY, WHEN I DID MY KNEE BENDS, I SAID “SIX” & “SEVEN” W/THE LETTER “S” SOUND WHILE STANDING! I FLIPPED OUT! HAVEN’T DONE IT SINCE, BUT IT’S THERE! & NOW I OFTEN ALSO SAY MY “T’S”—THEY JUST SEEM 2 SOMETIMES “POP OUT!” “G’S” ALSO SOMETIMES “POP OUT” WHEN I SAY “GOODMORNING/GOODNIGHT. IT’S ALL VERY EXCITING!

LAST SEASON , I WAS WATCHING AMERICAN IDOL & A CONTESTANT WAS TOLD THAT U BREATHE DIFFERENT LAYING DOWN, & THAT IF SHE PRACTICED LAYING DOWN, IT WOULD BUILD HER BREATH SUPPORT…THAT EXPLAINS A LOT! I SAY “S,” “T,” “G” & OTHER LETTERS THE BEST IF I LAY DOWN. THEN IF I BREATHE BETTER & DIRECT MORE AIR AT MY NOSE, MY NOSE PLUGS, SO I CAN SAY MORE OF THESE LETTERS WHILE STANDING, OR WHILE IN MY CHAIR!

MY MUSICAL TRANING REALLY HAS HELPED ME TOO! THERE R LETTERS I AM LEARNING ONLY BECUZ OF EXPERIENCE IN DIRECTING AIR 2 MY “HEAD VOICE.” & KNOWING THE DIFFERENT WAYS 2 BREATHE.

SPEAKING OF MUSIC THERAPY: I ALWAYS TAKE THESE BIG INVOLUNTARY BREATHES EVERY NOW & THEN, LIKE MY BREATHING IS NORMALLY SHALLOW, SO I NEED 2 “CATCH UP.” I TRY 2 CONTROL THESE BREATHES, BUT MY PBA MAKES ME GIGGLE WHEN I HEAR HOW LOUD I AM, FROM SUCH A BIG BREATH.
THANKFULLY, MY PBA MEDICINE IS HELPING W/THIS (I AM LOVING THESE MEDS!), & RECENTLY (IN MUSIC THERAPY), I TOOK A BIG BREATH, & THIS TIME I “SANG” & CONTROLLED THE RELEASE OF AIR! (I “SING” IN MUSIC THERAPY. REALLY, I SOUND AWFUL, & I JUST TRY 2 MATCH PITCH). BUT CONTROLLING AN INVOLUNTARY BREATH WAS SUPER EXCITING! MY THERAPIST FREAKED, & WONDERED IF THE MEDS HELPED. I SAID “I KNOW IT DOES” (THE MEDICINE HELPED ME CONTROL MY EMOTIONS ENOUGH, THAT I COULD IGNORE THE GIGGLE & KEEP DOING WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO!) & SHE SAID, “THOSE ARE SOME GOOD MEDS!”

I DO SING 2 STUFF ALONE AT HOME THOUGH — & IT’S SUPER HARD 2 GO DOWN A SCALE, & GOING UP REQUIRES A PUSH OF AIR. FAMILY HAS HEARD ME TRY 2 SING, BUT I SOUND AWFUL. RIGHT NOW, I DO BEST W/FAMILIAR STUFF, LIKE “OLD MCDONALD” (I MOO, ETC.), OR CHRISTMAS SONGS. BUT WHEN I STARTED MUSIC THERAPY, I HAD A DREAM. IN THE DREAM, I SAT AT MY COMPUTER DESK, AND I WAS SINGING WHAT I NEEDED 2 SAY TO MY KIDS, EVEN WHEN I DISCIPLINED THEM…I HAVEN’T HAD LUCK YET W/DOING THIS, BUT I HAVE BEEN ENCOURAGED TO DO THIS EXACT THING 4 MY MUSIC THERAPY “HOMEWORK!”

ONE MORE EXCITING “TALKING” STORY: 8/31 WAS A “TALKING DAY” & I HAD “WARMED UP” IN MUSIC THERAPY . MY FRIEND CAME OVER & WE CHATTED…& I SPOKE ALMOST THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION W/HER FOLLOWING A FORMAT SIMILAR 2 “SOPHIA’S FORMAT!” WHAT’S FUNNY IS HER SON WENT ON A 2 YEAR MISSION 4 OUR CHURCH, & B4 HE LEFT, HE SAID I’D BE TALKING IN SENTENCES BY THE TIME HE CAME HOME! THAT WAS ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO!

BTW, MY VIDEO IS ALSO ON YOU-TUBE, & THOUGH I’M NEW 2 THIS YOU-TUBE THING, I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW 2 ADD TAGS—SO IF U MISSED MY VIDEO, IT’S ON YOU-TUBE, & NOW IT HAS TAGS LIKE “STROKE, LOCKED-IN SYNDROME, 2012, RECOVERY, 2004, JENNY LYNN, MARK LYNN, JENNY’S STORY, & JENANNLYNN(WHICH SEEMS LIKE THE BEST TAG)”.

JENNY’S STORY
    “WILL YOUR STORY AMOUNT TO THE NATURE OF STORIES & EMBRACE THE FACT THAT SHARING THE SAD ONES CAN SOMETIMES MAKE THEM HAPPY?” BY ABED NADIR FROM COMMUNITY

PRE-STROKE, A FRIEND SHOWED ME SOME JOKE ON THE BLUE COLLAR CO. DVD SHE HAD JUST BOUGHT, SO I KNEW I LIKED IT. I FINALLY TIVOED & SAW THE WHOLE THING.. I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT PART SHE SHOWED ME, BUT WHEN I SAW IT THIS TIME, I WAS LAUGHING HARD, UNTIL THE END, WHEN JEFF FOXWORTHY WAS TELLING ABOUT A GUY’S MOM, WHO HAD A STROKE…HE STARTED SAYING ALL THIS BAD STUFF (LIKE SHE CAN’T MOVE AA SIDE OF HER BODY & CAN’T TALK)–HE BASICALLY DESCRIBED ME–& THE PUNCHLINE WAS, “I’M KIDDING…SHE’S DEAD.”

NOW, I LAUGH ALL THE TIME WHEN FAMILY GUY DOES HANDICAPPED JOKES, BUT THIS WAS A BIT TOO PERSONAL…

SOMEONE IN MY YAHOO STROKE GROUP POINTED OUT THAT “AT TIMES, RECOVERY MAY SEEM LIKE IT’S NOT HAPPENING BUT IT IS. IT CAN’T BE MEASURED IN WEEKS OR MONTHS BUT YEARS.”

I REALIZE THIS, SO I CELEBRATE EVERY LITTLE THING…OTHERWISE, IT CAN BE DEPRESSING TO WATCH, SINCE IT JUST PROVES HOW FAR I STILL NEED 2 GO! BUT I REMEMBER HOW GRATEFUL I AM 2 BE ALIVE, SO I CAN RECOVER ANYTHING AT ALL—SOME ARE NOT AS FORTUNATE!

LUCKILY, MY HUSBAND VIDEO-TAPED ME DURING THE 1ST YEAR, THEN MADE A MOVIE. IT SHOWS MY PROGRESSION DURING THE 1ST 9 MONTHS, & EVEN NOW, I REFER 2 IT, SO I CAN REALLY C HOW FAR I’VE COME.

IN DEC. 2011, I WAS HELPING SOPH DO A BOOK REPORT, & HAD READ THE CHILDREN’S NOVEL IN PREPERATION…IT WAS CALLED “HOW TO STEAL A DOG.” THE LITTLE GIRL IN THE BOOK WAS VERY UPSET ABOUT HER LIFE: HER DAD LEFT, & HER, HER BROTHER, & HER MOM WERE NOW LIVING IN THEIR CAR. EVENTUALLY, THEY “UPGRADED” 2 A RUN-DOWN SHACK. NEEDLESS 2 SAY, THE LITTLE GIRL WAS VERY DEPRESSED & COULDN’T SEE A WORSE LOT IN LIFE.

IN 2004, BEING CONFINED 2 MY BED WAS AS APPEALING AS LIVING OUT OF A CAR WAS 4 THE GIRL IN THE BOOK. I’VE NOW “UPGRADED,” AND SOME CONSIDER ME LIKE A QUAD. IN A SENSE, I AM IN THE EQUIVALENT TO THE RUN-DOWN SHACK I GUESS THAT SHOULD DEPRESS ME, BUT I JUST SEE A “HOUSE” (AT LEAST THERE’S A ROOF OVER MY HEAD!), & AM GRATEFUL 4 WHAT I HAVE. SURE, IT’S NOT PERFECT, BUT I MANAGE QUITE WELL! & I CAN’T RECALL WHERE I HEARD THIS, OR WHO SAID IT, BUT “The beauty of it, is not knowing what comes next.”

IN OCT. 2007, I “SPOKE” AT AN INTERNATIONAL DOCTOR’S CONFERENCE, AFTER THEY SHOWED THE BELOW VIDEO. THE DOCTOR’S ASKED 4 A COPY OF THE VIDEO, & I WAS SUPPOSED 2 PUT IT ON YOU-TUBE (I FIGURE IT WAS REQUESTED 4 A SIMILAR REASON TO SOMETHING LIKE A QUOTE IN THE BOOK: “Sometimes the trail you leave behind you is more important than the path ahead of you.” By Mookie, from How to Steal a Dog), BUT I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW 2 PUT THE VIDEO ON YOU-TUBE (IT’S CALLED “JENNY’S STORY”)…HOPE I’M NOT TOO LATE (LOL) & HOPE I DID IT RIGHT SO IT CAN STAY, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF IT’LL STAY THERE, SO ENJOY IT WHILE U CAN!

PLAYING AROUND

I’M PLAYING AROUND WITH A NEW FEATURE IN THE UPDATED SENTENCE SHAPER SPEECH PROGRAM. IF I DID IT RIGHT, U’LL SEE A VIDEO OF A SCRAPBOOK I MADE, WHERE I SAY ALL THE LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET (I MADE IT A FEW MONTHS AGO, BUT U GET THE IDEA–NOW, IF I LAY DOWN, I’M TONS CLEAERER, & SAY LETTERS LIKE B, F, G, J, P, & S BETTER).