Family

I’m back!

I haven’t posted in a while, cause so much has been going on: we just moved, went on a Disney Cruise, found & trained  another person to help me, & hI ave been recovering from pain that was in my only working limb (I didn’t even know why it hurt…my guess is stress & tightened muscles didn’t mix with the lack of stretching & lack of therapy in the last few weeks, but it severely “crippled” me—I could barely type, sometimes I was unable to feed myself, etc.).  But good news: I am doing MUCH better, & even made myself my own bag of popcorn!  (Granted, I made a mess too, but it was the 1st time in almost 12 years that I made popcorn, & poured my own bowl!)

 

Since my article is being run again in LDS Living magazine again, I thought I’d share some “updates”, & share some things the original LDS Living article got wrong:

  • My stroke occurred in my Indianapolis, Indiana home – we moved to Austin, Texas to build an accessible home, & be by family.
  • I used to be the compassionate service leader, & a Young Womens (YW) teacher before that, but now  I am the YW Personal Progress Leader (check out this remarkable youth program)–& recently earned my medallion again, along with both of my daughters (who were 13 & 15 at the time)!
  • “I Love to See the Temple” is one of my favorite primary (children)songs, but not THE favorite! (It’s this.)
  • I speak a LOT now.  As u may be aware, I started horse therapy after this article 1st came out (which has been AMAZING & strengthened my core so much!), & my therapist jokes that when we 1st started, I could only say a few words, but “now (she) can’t get me to shut up!”  If u get to know my Sophie, she’s so much like me, & she talks all the time, just as I used to do—so my therapist is correct in her explanation!
  • Our 20th wedding anniversary was in 2014.

I got MAD skills!

I just took our dog, Cooper, for a WALK.  Yep!  He was just sitting calmly by the door–I have NEVER seen him so calm (& probably never will again!) so I got his leash on (that’s tricky one-handed, & took like 20 tries!), & went partway down the driveway (so Cooper couldn’t go in the street). The hardest part was keeping the leash untangled while holding the leash – as I drove my w/c!

I have to thank my husband who put the thought in my head in the 1st place, & encouraged me to “not handicap myself!”  Best advice ever!

Busy a summer!

I’ve been busy this summer with several family affairs, & other things. It’s been quiet here now though, & I have time to type: All my kids have been in Utah (Soph was at ballroom dance camp, Jess was at EFY, & Zach is at summer school). However, they’ll all be back on Saturday–they fly back tonight, & they’re bringing a dog to join the family!

On Thursday, June 18, Zach left for summer term at college. (Yes, he’s coming home briefly before fall term begins!) When Mark flew with Zach to Utah (to set him up at BYU), I stayed home. Saying goodbye was like ripping off a band-aid, & besides the family being smaller, it seemed like we were fine. But we recently had our 1st family trip w/o him, & it just didn’t feel right w/o Zach, so we made him come out & briefly join us for a few days on our family reunion/50th wedding anniversary celebration in Hawaii!

The trip was a long flight, so I was worried, but the flight there was great: it had been broken up into 2 manageable flights, & for some reason, on the flight out, we had sleeping pods (those are usually for international flights.). It was a blessing that I could experience sleeping pods, cuz I found out I could lay completely flat, making an international flight a possibility! (Those pods are worth every penny to upgrade to 1st class!)

I was nervous about the 8-9 hour return flight not being broken up as well, & not having sleeping pods (Mark couldn’t find any), but we upgraded to 1st class, & since it was so late, I slept most of it, & since my chair was reclined for most of the flight, my butt was fine, & I never had to potty on the plane!

Anyway, these flights to Hawaii were the 1st flights in 11 years that I actually enjoyed. I’ve progressed enough that I can do minor shifts, & I can sorta’ help my ears when they hurt. Also, Mark’s been helping me learn to deal w/my anxiety, so I’m sure that helped me as well!

When Mark was in Utah w/o me (in June), I spoke to Mark on the phone! I’m not so good at it yet, so Sophie was there too, but I did it, & it was so awesome! Recently, my sister accidentally called me to wish me a Happy Birthday, & we actually carried on a short conversation! I was super tired when she called, so my speech wasn’t very clear, but we talked w/o anyone there, & w/o using my version of the morse code on the phone! Lately, I’ve had several good speaking days, & I have held several short conversations, & even introduced myself! It’s exciting!

I have also started to help clean up my house more: Starting in April, I began tidying up the kitchen, so this summer I have tried doing more this time. I have an OCD personality, so this was long over-due, & it feels good to be able to take pride in my home again!

20 Years Ago Today

In the summer of 2004, Mk tried sitting me on the mat (for the 1st time since my stroke) to balance (u can see it on youtube, in “Jenny’s Story”).  When I was sitting on the mat, they gingerly let go of me, not sure if I could balance.  These days, when I’m put on the mat, I have Angie’s son, who will  push me,  crawl all over me, & try everything to knock me over, but I’ve built up my core muscles so much in horse therapy, that I remain firm!  It’s amazing!

 

On Dec. 29th,  20 years ago today I married a wonderful man, who had built a firm testimony in Christ, & was able to stay firm through so much-it’s amazing he is still by my side!  I would not be where I am today w/o his constant love & support!

utah

Friday, I experienced some very mixed feelings that came from being a stroke survivor, mother, & wife, & I never thought I’d have 2 decide between them:
1. as a stroke survivor, I was proud of myself & cheering at my accomplishment.
2. as a parent, I was upset & slightly disappointed, because my accomplishment came from cleaning up after a disobedient child who left a mess, after several requests to clean (so i did it).
3. as a wife, i couldn’t be upset, but instead embarrassed that i didn’t follow through on my earlier request to make sure it was done, so i felt partially responsible (hence, why i attempted to clean).

In other news, my family recently went on a trip to Utah. My dad was receiving an award at his old college, so we went with a bunch of family & made a ski trip out of it.

Due to poor blood circulation (from my lack of movt.), I am always cold! (Seriously, I freeze at 70 degrees, & I’ve just become accustom to having a cold left hand!). So, I have always vetoed trips where it is cold (the entire family has asked b4 to go skiing). But i figured that my family is always making sacrifices for me, so it was my turn to make a sacrifice for them, & they’ve begged to be in snow. (Poor Soph was only 2 1/2 years old when she had her last winter w/a lot of snow, since I had my stroke & we moved to a warm climate…& while it has snowed here, it is more like a dusting, & Soph has been longing to build a snowman, & make snow angels!)

While we were gone, I didn’t do a very good job practicing my therapy! Sure, it’s vacation, but even on vacation u exercise, etc., & therapy is my exercise! But what I did a lot was talk. My therapist has said the best therapy practice I can do is talk/have conversations & luckily, that week was when I usually have my best speaking week of the month, so I enjoyed talking to my sister-in-law, her friend & friend’s daughter, who were there tending my baby neice & nephews as my family & extended family skied. We just talked a whole lot, & it was cool, cuz they got so good at understanding me, which just seemed to encourage me to talk! I actually looked forward to it (I don’t recall the last time I looked forward 2 something that way), &I felt relaxed, comfortable, & confident in my speaking skills. by not feeling pressured, I didn’t face the problems I get by “thinking or trying too hard!”

Also, I can’t explain it, but the new torso strength I already have built up (thxs 2 horse therapy) helped so much in so many ways on our trip–it was exciting! not only did it physically help, but it also eased my anxiety about my limitations!

Overall, even though I never felt “warm” (unless I sweat from the insane bedshets!), I enjoyed the trip. I rarely get to see the benefits of sacrifice, & while I know sacrifice increases your love for another person, seeing how happy every1 was, made a trip in the cold worth it.