Update

Keep going!

I have been re-reading my old journals, & recently, I read that we moved into our 1st home in Indy on March 16, 1996. To me, our life alone finally started that day.   Ironically, 8 years later, I had my stroke on that same day (March 16, 2004), & our life “began” again!  What is it with March 16? J  Hopefully, that day will no longer mark any kind of “new” beginning! (no pun intended!)

13 years ago, the doctors said that I’d never speak again w/o the aid of a machine, or computer–the doctors would see a hopeless case, so that is what they presented: a hopeless case.  I could have given up right there: I had a “get out of jail free card”, but there was NO WAY I was resorting to that kind of life!  I believe I have mentioned before, how there was NO WAY I’d spend my life talking through a machine, like the doctors said I would, & I was determined to prove them wrong!   I believe that my abilities now, reflect on the attitude I had: I had hope, & eventually I saw potential, so God has blessed me to “tap in” & find that potential that I hoped was there… For 10 years or more, I saw very slow progress, but I’m OCPD (OCD-personality), so if I am faced with a problem, I can’t stop until it’s fixed!  Ha!  Ha!  So, I kept pushing–I wouldn’t give up…& when I finally saw more results, I actually tried harder!  I eventually became confident enough to talk to strangers, & even bring up new topics & ask odd questions, THROUGH MY SPEECH!   I never thought I took for granted the ability to call to someone down the hall…but I get SOOOO excited now when I am in my craft room, & can call down to one of the girls in the kitchen, & they not only hear me, but  understand me, as well!!!  It is SO awesome!  I can appreciate it more, now…but, I could not appreciate it, if I had not ever experienced being w/o it!

However I know that now, while it is tempting to “take a break” & get lazy, I can’t, & must remain vigilant!  When I 1st had my stroke, my left arm seemed to have a little more movement back then , but I got lazy, & when my left arm was showing progress in my shoulder, what did I do?  I strapped it down & reverted to the bare minimum of therapy that I needed for it…

But if I give in & get lazy, I’ve learned that God ALWAYS finds a way to make something negative turn positive. (Though it’s better & easier if I don’t get lazy!)   In this case, the movement my left arm gained in my shoulder is still there, but weaker.  It’s up to me to get it back to where it was.  However, I’d never unstrap my arm!  It is essential to keeping me in my chair when I laugh/sneeze, it helps me to balance, & it offers me so much independence (like when I reach far down to grab something, I stay in my chair).  All the independence I am discovering couldn’t happen unless: a. both hands worked, or b. my hand was strapped down.  I could have tried for a (& with hard work, I like to think it’s still a possibility), but I got lazy, & chose b.  B wasn’t necessarily the best choice.  (When God gives u a break, the better choice is to work hard so u don’t let go!)  But if u “let go,” God will let u repent, & make the most of what is left.  I hope I don’t “get lazy” this time, & I look forward to what the next year brings, as I continue on this journey in my life.

Merry Christmas!

Sophie is in this “extra” choir outside of school.  They performed this weekend for the holiday season.  The day we went (Saturday) was a day filled with small upsets & disappointments, but it culminated when we went to Sophia’s concert, & the ONLY place I could sit was at the very far back of the room (with empty rows in front of us).  This is not the 1st time something like this occurred (handicap seating is often crappy), but it was just one more thing that day…

There is this new TV show called ‘Speechless’, & one of the actors is a teenage boy in a wheelchair, who is incapable of speech, & the mom is quite an advocate for her son, who will make it quite clear of how he should be treated…Needless to say, I was thrilled to hear that Mark went all “Speechless” on them, when they tried to be proud of completing the minimum accessibility requirements!

Despite that, I love Christmas. As a child, my favorite tradition was to prepare the manger for Christ: every good deed “earned” a piece of straw for the manger. That tradition never caught on w/my kids, so we did other stuff…

We have tried to keep the focus on Christ (our tree has only nativity ornaments, & most of our decorations are nativity related.–even our advent calendar is a nativity scene, & the while the actual nativity set we display is nice, it is not fragile, so it was ok if little hands touched it– though we also had a Fisher-Price nativity play set that was pulled out & added to their toys in December).  Even Santa remembered Christ in our home, & just as Christ received 3 gifts from the wise men, Santa only gave our kids 3 gifts (though when u add in a gift from your parents, from each sibling, from both sets of grandparents, & from Mark’s 5 siblings, & my 6 siblings, there’s a LOT more than 3 gifts–Thank goodness our siblings began to rotate, & do 1 family gift, instead of 11 individual gifts!)

In addition, to make the holiday less commercial & more personal, we continued Mark’s favorite tradition of making gifts for each other. It doesn’t always happen for Mark & me, but we often help the kids make each other gifts. These are my favorite gifts.

However, this year, I don’t feel very “Christmasy”.  My kids are all grown up, & it has seemed to loose it’s “magic” when everyone can pick out their own gifts!  But this year on Christmas, we will be able to talk to my missionary son (serving in California, for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).  After all those years of trying to put Christ into Christmas, that will certainly put the focus on Christ on Christmas Day!  Who knew I had to wait until now to find Christ in Christmas!

my 12th “stroke-aversary”

Yesterday was my 12th “stroke-aversary”, so when Mark found me in tears yesterday (I was just sick, & wanted to go to bed, but was having an anxiety attack at the same time!), he thought it was about my stroke-aversary!  Lol. Guess it kinda’ was that too, cuz I wanted to DO something, & “celebrate”!

There have been things have occurred this week that have reminded me of some things:

Life is fragile.  U never know what God’s plan is for u…I had a very different plan mapped out in my head!  I am sure my kids would’ve preferred a “normal” family, but I am grateful for all that my family does for me, & I will be eternally grateful for being blessed with a man who has stood by me & helped me to be a better person.  I have been fortunate to marry into such a supportive family, as well as for being born into a supportive family, & constantly being surrounded by supportive friends.  Most of all, I am grateful for Christ’s atonement, because I know that I am never alone, & that Christ is aware of me & my feelings.  It is hard for me to imagine the suffering He endured as He experienced not only the things for me, but for everyone!

 

Since I’m often asked what can be done for someone who is going through a “rough patch”, I thought that I would share what some of the things were that were done for me post-stroke, & maybe it will “jump-start” your brain, so u can adapt the idea to another situation:

  1. 100s of “thinking of you” & “you’re in our prayers” cards were sent, including some emails, & several people wrote to me more than 1 time
  2. Hospital & home visits from family & friends, near &far
  3. Friends placed me on LDS temple prayer rolls
  4. A small picture book was sent, w/pictures from my youth, by my seminary teacher
  5. Primary classes sent me cards & pictures of the kids
  6. Flowers & a big cookie were sent to me in the hospital
  7. My best friend recorded favorite shows for me
  8. My sister would come to the hospital & file my nails
  9. Books were sent to inspire as they were read to me
  10. A favorite picture of Christ was mailed to me
  11. Someone sent me a favorite movie
  12. Flowers were given to me weekly, once I was home by church friends
  13. A church friend recorded Sunday School classes for me, while I was in the hospital
  14. When I was in the hospital, Mark finished off selling & shipping the eBay stuff that I was in the process of selling
  15. A church friend recorded the Easter sacrament program
  16. My family held Easter & Family Home Evening (FHE) in the hospital with me.
  17. My high school best friend & her family gave up a Disney trip for spring break and went to Cleveland.
  18. My cousins gave me (my first) iPod, burned with church talks and music
  19. Bishop came to the hospital to help give me the sacrament.
  20. A family member filled our fridge with yogurts and apple sauce.
  21. A church friend was best doctor—he made house calls came in on weekends and holidays just for me
  22. Mark kept my journal for me, until I could type & keep my OWN journal again
  23. Some meals were brought in.
  24. My brother helped to get me the best hospital bed to use at home
  25. A church friend sent the Relief Society Newsletter to me
  26. Church friends let me use their pool for swim therapy
  27. Many people found creative ways to use their talents to help me…Some of those ways were:
    1. My Visiting Teacher taught me to watercolor , which increased my range of motion
    2. My brother sent me a CD he had recorded of him playing his own arrangements of hymns
    3. A church friend made a Jesus sculpture for me
    4. Deaf friends taught ASL.
    5. The Young Women from church visited me in my home, to share things they made for me at girls camp, & gave me a “candy gram”
    6. The entire primary sent me cards, & some were selected & put on a quilt for me
    7. CDs were sent that had mixes of inspirational & relaxing music
    8. My husband continually thought of ways to make me smile & laugh, but would also just spend lots of time with me.
  28. Friends took me to a Donny Osmond concert (because they knew  that I liked him!)
  29. My sister her spouse, & Mark’s parents moved to Indy to help out
  30. Friends helped with range of motion
  31. My brother & his family took my family to Disney World
  32. A church friend made preparations so I could return to the temple
  33. My Visiting Teachers often sent cards w/uplifting quotes

 

And I’m sure that I’m forgetting stuff, but maybe this list will give you ideas of what to do for someone who’s sick/hurt!

I’m back!

I haven’t posted in a while, cause so much has been going on: we just moved, went on a Disney Cruise, found & trained  another person to help me, & hI ave been recovering from pain that was in my only working limb (I didn’t even know why it hurt…my guess is stress & tightened muscles didn’t mix with the lack of stretching & lack of therapy in the last few weeks, but it severely “crippled” me—I could barely type, sometimes I was unable to feed myself, etc.).  But good news: I am doing MUCH better, & even made myself my own bag of popcorn!  (Granted, I made a mess too, but it was the 1st time in almost 12 years that I made popcorn, & poured my own bowl!)

 

Since my article is being run again in LDS Living magazine again, I thought I’d share some “updates”, & share some things the original LDS Living article got wrong:

  • My stroke occurred in my Indianapolis, Indiana home – we moved to Austin, Texas to build an accessible home, & be by family.
  • I used to be the compassionate service leader, & a Young Womens (YW) teacher before that, but now  I am the YW Personal Progress Leader (check out this remarkable youth program)–& recently earned my medallion again, along with both of my daughters (who were 13 & 15 at the time)!
  • “I Love to See the Temple” is one of my favorite primary (children)songs, but not THE favorite! (It’s this.)
  • I speak a LOT now.  As u may be aware, I started horse therapy after this article 1st came out (which has been AMAZING & strengthened my core so much!), & my therapist jokes that when we 1st started, I could only say a few words, but “now (she) can’t get me to shut up!”  If u get to know my Sophie, she’s so much like me, & she talks all the time, just as I used to do—so my therapist is correct in her explanation!
  • Our 20th wedding anniversary was in 2014.

I got MAD skills!

I just took our dog, Cooper, for a WALK.  Yep!  He was just sitting calmly by the door–I have NEVER seen him so calm (& probably never will again!) so I got his leash on (that’s tricky one-handed, & took like 20 tries!), & went partway down the driveway (so Cooper couldn’t go in the street). The hardest part was keeping the leash untangled while holding the leash – as I drove my w/c!

I have to thank my husband who put the thought in my head in the 1st place, & encouraged me to “not handicap myself!”  Best advice ever!