Recovery

Oct 26, 2004

Jenny finally gets to start outpatient therapy tomarrow! She is excited to see what they can offer. I am in the process of hooking her laptop up to a bigger screen so she can read without problems. I see her play games using a mouse and I do not see why she could not be doing more on a computer.

Sophia has been trying to be a helper in making her mother better. She often covers Jenny in band-aids, moves her arms and leg for “exercise”, and I see her try to feed Jenny every now and then, which I have to be cautious of. Jenny will usually push the buzzer to alarm me. Sophia was able to get a glass of water by me. She held up the capped feeding tube (without a way to funnel the water in) and dumped the glass over the top of the tube. Fortunately, it was bed time and Jenny needed to change into her pajamas. Sophie also accompanied Jenny to the ENT to have an injury on her ear drained. Sophia was shy until she felt she needed to tell the doctor how to do his job. She will be our child who most likely will be a doctor some day.

Oct 18, 2004

I took Jenny for an outpatient therapy evaluation today. My most repeted statements today were, “this movement that she is doing is new”, “she could not do any of these things during inpatient therapy”, and “please be patient with Jenny because she is always emotional at first.” All the therapists seemed to have lots that they wanted to do with her, except the speech therapist. We have only had one speech therapist in the past who appeared remotely optomisitc- and it happened to be the one that Jenny made the most improvements with. Respiratory, ENT, and speech people have been our biggest “Negative Nellies”. Jenny is in a trial period where she is taking all food and liquids orally to see if she can get rid of the final tube inserted into her body. She is doing super, but I can see all the respiratory, ENT, and speech people squirming because “a person with a brainstem stroke is not able to swallow or protect the airway.” However, Jenny has the nerve to go against their restrictions and do it anyway. Jenny’s biggest barrier has not been her health, but her diagnosis. Yes, she is very limited, but not as limited as some professionals try to mold her to be.

Oct 12, 2004

For the past several years, our family has enjoyed the tradition of having weekly family nights. Once a month, we have a night where all we do is take turns sharing our feelings for each other, the gospel, and what ever else that person would like to share. For those familiar, it is like a testimony meeting at church, but much more intimate. The past several months have come with a void in which Jenny has not been able to be involved by sharing her thoughts during this favorite family activity- until now. Last night, Jenny was able to use her ever improving ability to finger spell her thoughts and feelings. We really miss hearing her voice, so it was wonderful to experince the miracle of her communicating her thoughts to us this way.

Jenny has told me on several occassions lately that she tries and tries, but her left side does not respond anymore. It has been 2-3 months since her voluntary movement on her left slowly went away. It was her stronger side and had more voluntary gross motor movements initially. She refuses to give up. We went through our closet this week, as a yearly tradition dictates. I was impressed that she finally got rid of some of her 80’s clothes from high school. When it came to her high heels, I asked if I could get rid of them. Jenny refuses to believe that she will not walk in them again some day. So, we kept them. Because it is Jenny, she probably will.

Oct 3, 2004

We were able to watch our church’s General Conference broadcast from our home this weekend, which was easier since we did not have to leave the house for church. I think it is because of our situation, but it seemes like many of the talks by the church leaders delt with overcoming trials and tribulations. It gave us an opportunity to discuss how Jenny was feeling these days about her struggles. Overall, Jenny felt that the conference talks brought comfort and peace, but she still suffers each day and it is difficult to be patient while healing occurs.

Jenny has become quite strong in using her right hand. I think it is because she signs with it so much and has functional uses for those movements that makes her exercise it throughout the day.

I was able to get out of the house, despite a reluctant wife, for the first time in a great while. I took a short hike with my father which was a needed break. Jenny still struggles to not have me with her at all times. I can easily lift her while providing her the care that she needs. Everyone else needs to use the overhead lift which Jenny finds to be uncomfortable and “humiliating”. I agree that the lift is not the funnest thing, but it is the best we have- and the safest option. While we were gone, I was even more afraid of getting into trouble for being late than I was prior to her stroke. She can not even talk, but I am still afraid of her wrath and getting lectured for wrong doing. Since the hike, Jenny has tightened the leash on letting me go anywhere.

Oct 1, 2004

Jenny seems to have hit a point of slowed progress, but this has happened many times along the way. She is still doing more each day, but not as rapid as the previous month. For instance, Jenny has been able to play games on the computer using a mouse. A few days ago it was highly emotional and unproductive, but she has now become functional, yet slow, at using the mouse. She will win a game of Mahjongg, but it takes an hour rather than a few minutes. Tonight, she was able to point and click her way to read e-mails. Jenny has become more emotional lately but her emotions will still tend to be inconsistant with how she really feels or the situation.

A nice progression has been the increased desire of the the children to want to interact with Jenny. They fight over who sits in her lap or lays down next to her. Sophia thinks Jenny is her own personal play thing. She can be really sweet as she brings over cups of water because she claims Jenny told her she was thirsty. I typically save Jenny before she drowns or gets too wet. I can not save Jenny from getting dressed up in jewelry. All the kids will help do range of motion exercises with thier mom when they see her resting. They usually encourage her and praise her efforts, and are typically gentle. Through the infinate wisdom of children, Jenny gets plastered with band aids because we all were taught as children that band aids fix everything.