MY HUMOR

"Words come more readily to girls. Even as adults, men use fewer words than women. Studies have shown that, on average, women speak about 20,000 words in a day. Depending on the study, men use 7,000 to 10,000."I FOUND THIS EXTREMELY INTERESTING. BEING GENOROUS, I BET I TYPE LESS THAN 2,000 WORDS, &, ACCORDING 2 THIS STUDY, I THINK 20,000. YET, 2 MEN, WHO USE ½ OR LESS THAN ½ OF WHAT'S IN MY HEAD, I APPEAR WORDY, EVEN THOUGH I'M VERY BRIEF 4 A WOMAN. & IF I SIGN, I'M EVEN BRIEFER—OFTEN, ACTIONS ALONE HAVE 2 SUFFICE, OR 1 WORD NEEDS 2 BE TRANSLATED INTO A COMPLETE SENTENCE. I'M GENEROUS IF I SIGN A FULL SENTENCE, BUT I'M LIMITED TO 3 SENTENCES 4 THOSE LISTENING (IMAGINE HOW TIRED U'D BE MENTALLY, IF I SIGNED OUT EVERY LETTER OF THIS POST—SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER IF THOSE LETTERS R TYPED INDIVIDUALLY, BUT U CAN READ AT YOUR OWN PACE). I'VE ALSO FOUND THAT IF I'M THINKING 2 CONTRASICTORY THINGS (LIKE "WHAT A NEAT THING?" & "BUT "HOW DO I TURN IT ON?"), I HAVE 2 FORGO THE POSITIVE STATEMENT ("FLUFF," REALLY) , & ASK THE QUES. ("HOW DO I TURN IT ON?"), 2 EASE MY MIND.

IF I WERE 2 SIGN A FUNNY STORY, I MAY SIGN, "I DROPPED A JUNIOR MINT, & A FRIEND ATE IT!"

BUT MY HEAD THINKS THIS (LIMITED BY TYPING):
"AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE, I PUT A JUNIOR MINT IN MY MOUTH & TRIED 2 MOVE IT 4WARD 2 BITE IT W/MY FRONT TEETH. IT SHOT OUT OF MY MOUTH, WHERE A FRIEND HAD A PILE OF JUNIOR MINTS ON THE FLOOR!
I DIED LAUGHING, PRECISELY WHEN A BABY TOOTED, SO AT FIRST, SHE THOUGHT I TOOTED 2! BY THE TIME SHE FIGURED OUT WHY I WAS REALLY LAUGHING, IT WAS EATEN! THE REST OF THE NIGHT, IF I LOOKED AT HER, OR A JUNIOR MINT, I DIED LAUGHING!" (TRUE STORY)IT TAKES SOOO LONG 2 TYPE OR FINGERSPELL STUFF, SO IT’S FUNNY INITIALLY, BUT BY THE TIME I SAY IT, THE MOMENT HAS LONG SINCE PAST, SO I JUST GET A “COURTESY CHUCKLE.” MUCH I’VE RESORTED 2 JUST THINKING & APPRECIATING MY OWN HUMOR, & HAVING A “PERSONAL LAUGHING MOMENT.” WHEN I DO, & SUDDENLY LAUGH, MY CAREGIVER, CARA REPEATS A “FIA PHRASE”: "I’M THINKING SOMETHING FUNNY IN MY HEAD."

IT’S SUCH A BUMMER THAT MY HUMOR & WIT HAVE BEEN SOMETHING THAT HAVE BEEN KINDA HIDDEN WITH EVERYONE (EXCEPT VIA EMAIL—BUT, EVEN THEN, I HAVE 2 BE CATIUOUS—ESP. IF I FEEL SARCASTIC, SINCE THERE'S NO TONE IN EMAIL, OR EVEN W/ASL, & A JOKE CAN BE READ AS JUST PLAIN MEAN). IT’S DIFFICULT CAUSE SO MUCH OF HUMOR IS IN TIMING & VOCAL INFLECTION, SO SOME OF IT IS KINDA LOST WHEN YOU HAVE TO FINGERSPELL IT OUT, LIKE, AS MY SISTER PUT IT SO WELL (& I FOUND IT ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!),: “F-S – OH WAIT, NOT S – A – R – T. LET’S SEE, F-A-R-T…. UMMM. OHH! FART! OH, THAT’S FUNNY. HAHA.” INSTEAD OF JUST HEARING AND LAUGHING.

PLUS, A LOT OF TIMES OTHERS EVENTUALLY OFTEN SAY A VARIATION OF THE FUNNY THOUGHT I ALREADY HAD, BUT DON'T SAY IT, BECAUSE I KNOW OTHERS GET BURNED OUT ON SPELLING (EVEN I DO), SO IF IT’S NOT SOMETHING I PHYSICALLY NEED, THEY WANT 2 MOVE ON. WHICH IS 2 BAD, REALLY, CAUSE THEY'RE MISSING "ME" THEN. BUT I CAN ALSO "HIDE" "ME," ESP. IF SIGNING IS 2 HARD, DUE 2 A "WEAK" DAY. UNFORTUNATELY, MOST DON’T TAKE (OR HAVE) THE TIME/ENERGY FOR EMOTIONAL NEEDS. LUCKILY I GET "FRESH BLOOD" (MY CAREGIVER) 2-3 TIMES A WEEK, WHO CAN DEVOTE TIME 2 MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS, & IT'S AMAZING, REALLY, HOW WELL SHE'S GOTTEN 2 KNOW THE ME INSIDE, YET NEVER KNEW ME B4 MY STROKE! BUT I KNOW IT'S A DIFFICULT BALANCING TASK – 2 FIND A PLACE WHERE I AM BOTH SATISFIED WITH PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL NEEDS, SO 3 CHEERS 4 "FRESH BLOOD!" LOL

HOWEVER, IF OTHERS R THERE, I CAN SAY MORE W/MARK’S HELP…W/ HIM I USUALLY ONLY NEED 2 SAY A FEW SHORT WORDS, SOMETIMES JUST A LETTER OR 2, & HE FIGURES IT OUT, & SHARES IT (WAY BETTER THAN I COULD, SINCE I GIVE THE ABBREVIATED VERSION, & LAUGH ALONE 4 EVERY LETTER, AS THE LISTNER ATTEMPTS 2 FIGURE OUT WHAT’S SO FUNNY!) MARK KNOWS MY STORIES & MIND SO WELL (ESP. AFTER SPENDING SO MUCH TIME WITH ME, SPELLING OUT MY THOUGHTS) & HE KNOWS MY HUMOR, SO IF THERE'S A CHANCE 2 CATCH ON, MARK OFTEN CATCHES ON SOONER & DOESN’T ALWAYS NEED ME 2 SPELL IT ALL OUT 4 HIM. THIS CAN ALLOW THE BIGGER LAUGH I SOMETIMES WANT/NEED.

SUNDAY

IT WAS MEALTIME, & MK WAS BUSY. ZACH COOKED RAMEN, FED THE GIRLS & HIM SOME, THEN, WHEN I WAS SURE IT HAD TIME 2 COOL ENOUGH 4 ME, HE CUT & FED ME! SO SWEET! HE ROCKS!

IT WASN'T PERFECT (I HAD A SHOWER), BUT I'M USED 2 WAITING UNTIL MK CAN FEED ME, WHICH CAN BE LATE IF HE'S REALLY BUSY. I DON'T MIND—I RARELY FEEL HUNGER PAINS, BUT I'VE FELT THEM MORE LATELY, AT THE 2 MEALS I DO EAT.

THE KIDS R USED 2 DOING MORE THAN AVERAGE KIDS. I KNOW I NEED THEM 2 BE EXTRA RESPONSIBLE, AS MUCH, OR MORE THAN, MK DOES. THE MORNING I ALONE GOT THEM READY 4 SCHOOL, WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE W/O THEM BEING SUPER RESPONSIBLE—THE TRICK IS 2 EXPECT MORE & DON’T BABY THEM. OTHERWISE THEY BACK TRACK.

AS A MOM, I USED 2 THINK THEY "DESERVED IT" WHEN SOME1 BABY'D THEM. BUT NOW I C IT IS LIKE ME: IT'S TONS EASIER 2 JUST ASK & HAVE SOME1 DO SOMETHING 4 ME, BUT IF IT'S WITHIN MY CAPABILITY, THE STRUGGLE CAN BE WORTH IT, & I CAN ACCOMPLISH MORE THAN I THOUGHT POSSIBLE. ACCORDING 2 MY MRI, I BELIEVE I SHOULD JUST BLINK…IT’S BAD. BUTI DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS THAT BAD, SO I KEPT TRYING. I KNEW I WAS LOCKED-IN, BUT NOT KNOWING WHY—IT GAVE ME THE ABILITY 2 STRETCH MYSELF, SINCE I HAD NO REASON 2 DOUBT MYSELF. (MY FAV. QOUTE IS "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. — Anonymous) KIDS CAN BE THAT WAY, & LOVE THE CHANCE 2 BE THE "ADULT." THE TRICK NOW, IS 2 NOT FRUSTRATE THEM, BY STRETCHING 2 FAR, & BEYOND THEIR CAPABILITIES! (I'VE FELT THAT 2, & IT'S AN AWFUL FEELING!)

FINALLY!

I'VE BEEN HOME ABOUT A WEEK, BUT HAVEN'T POSTED SINCE I WAS PLAYING "CATCH UP" (STILL AM, BUT IT'S SLOW W/DOUBLE VISION & 1 TYPING FINGER) 4 THE 9 DAYS WE WERE AWAY. WE HAVE A GREAT SYSTEM NOW, WHERE I COULD ACCESS MY HOME COMPUTER & USED A PROJECTOR IN PLACE OF THE BIG SCREEN LCD THAT'S MY MONITER AT HOME. STILL, THERE'S A DELAY WHEN I USE GOTOMYPC.COM, & THE DELAY IS EVEN BIGGER, DEPENDING ON THE INTERNET CONNECTION I USE. AFTER A WHILE, THERE WAS JUST CERTAIN THINGS I LEFT 4 AT HOME, WHEN THERE WAS NO DELAY ON MY COMP. BUT I HATE 2 THINK HOW MUCH MORE I'D BE BEHIND IF THERE WASN'T A COMP. I COULD USE!!! YES, IT TOOK TWICE AS LONG (I EVEN TYPED 2 FAST 4 THE DELAY!), BUT I WAS ON THE COMP. MORE THAN ANY OTHER VACATION. FELT SO GOOD! U KNOW THOSE FLEETING THOUGHTS U HAVE THAT MAKE U PICK UP THE PHONE? THOSE INSPIRE MANY OF MY EMAILS, & IT WAS NICE 2 SHARE SOME & NOT HAVE 2 REMEMBER THEM FOR 9 DAYS!

I FINALLY GOT TIRED OF DOING WHAT I SHOULD DO, & DID WHAT I WANTED 2 DO ON THURS.: I MADE A SCRAP. PG.—I'LL POST IT SOON. I'M PAYING 4 IT (SAT., I HAD SO MUCH 2 DO, I WASN'T SURE WHERE 2 START), BUT IT KEPT ME SANE!

BET IT'S ODD 2 THINK OF ME AS "BUSY." BET SOME WONDER WHAT I DO. WELL, TRY TYPING EVERYTHING U WANT 2 SAY, W/1 FUNGER, 4 A DAY. THEN, THROW IN SCRAPBOOKS & JOURNALS 4 ME & MY 3 KIDS. ALSO ADD THE FACT THAT I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF AT LEAST 4 PROJECTS 2 MAKE HARDBOUND BOOKS W/ SCRAPBOOKS, I READ ALL DAY (& READING TAKES TWICE AS LONG), I'M STILL A MOM & WIFE, I POST ON HERE, ETC.

KNOW WHAT'S HARD ABOUT TRAVELLING?
THINGS JUST R NOT MADE 4 THE HANDICAPPED00AVERAGE HOMES GAVE STAIRS, THINNER HALLS, SMALL DOORWAYS, ETC. BUT THIS ISN'T LIMITED 2 "AVERAGE"—I'VE BEEN IN MY SHARE OF BATHROOMS THAT R "HANDICAPPED," YET 2 SMALL 4 MY CHAIR! THANK GOODNESS MARK (MK) CAN CARRY ME & LEAVE MY CHAIR OUTSIDE THE STALL!

AT HOME, THINGS R SET UP SO I'M EXTREMELY INDEPENDENT, 4 ME. I LEAVE, & THAT'S STRIPPED AWAY, WHICH IS HARD 4 BOTH MK & I BECAUSE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ALONE ANYMORE, & WE R ACCUSTOMED 2 A DIFF. LIFESTYLE—I MUST DRIVE MARK CRAZY 2 ALWAYS NEED HIM, YET IT STINKS 2 SIT & DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS 1ST HOME FROM THE HOSPITALS! DIFF. IS, I NOW HAVE A POWER (VS. MANUAL) CHAIR, SO AT LEAST I CAN CHANGE MY VIEW!

HOWEVER, WE HAD A SCARE WHERE MY W/C STOPPED WORKING. AT HOME, WE HAVE A REPAIR PLACE & EXTRA (MANUAL) W/C I CAN TEMP. USE, BUT THERE, WE HAD NOTHING. REALITY SET IN ABOUT HOW BAD THAT WAS! FORTUNATELY, AFTER MK & I SAID INDEPENDENT PRATERS IN R HEADS, MY W/C MIRACUOUSLY WORKED AGAIN!

PROB. THE HARDEST THING IS IF I'M GIVEN “PITY LOOKS”. MY BROTHER, WHO IS AWAY FOR 2 YEARS IN FINLAND, SAID, "Many do not have the priviledge of this (ONLY COMMUNICATING W/ME THROUGH EMAIL), and see you as the jenny they see. There is a big difference between the Jenny they see, and the one that is you! "

THIS IS SOOO TRUE! C-ING ME PHYSICALLY, CAN TOTALLY MIS-REPRESENT WHO I AM INSIDE! MAYBE THAT'S WHY I POST—I'M DIFF. HERE & I FEEL I CAN BE ME!