It’s my 11th Stroke-aversary!

Sunday, I was reminded of a scripture in Matthew 11:

28 ¶Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I ammeek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Monday marks 11 years since my stroke. I definitely have seen the truth behind that scripture, & this year I’m celebrating all the independence I have gained back since that day 11 years ago, when the world looked so bleak! In the last few months, I’ve added these to my “book of tricks”:

  1. Get the cord off of the floor, so I can charge my wheelchair by myself
  2. Get & open a banana by myself
  3. Opened my laptop (they are tough to do 1-handed!)
  4. My speaking has improved to the point that I’ve spoken to friends & strangers, & been understood. In fact, on February 26, I wrote

i feel like such a big girl! it’s been 10 years since i did this, but I finally did it: i made an appt. (through email) to tune my piano, paid for the services, talked to the guy—I knew I had help a ring away, so I tried talking, & he understood! (i wrote down the harder stuff). I even walked him out! 🙂

I know these may sound small, but to me, they are HUGE!  While I was reminded of the above scripture, I realized that none of these things wouldn’t be possible w/o a spouse, family,& to those who’ve helped me to be who I am today, & to hang on to “Christ’s yoke,” when I needed help…so, I hope they celebrate too, becuz this is not just my day to celebrate…

Give me 5 ways you keep positive when you are feeling helpless or useless. 😊

  1.  Pray & LISTEN (often, I naturally wake at 4 AM, & lie awake waiting for Mark to wake, & I swear the veil is thinner then, probably because there are no distractions)
  2.  Read the scriptures. I once heard that we talk to God by praying, & He talks to us through the scriptures…I sure hate to essentially “cover God’s Mouth” by not opening the scriptures!
  3.  I figure out ways to be grateful…ex.: when a zipper broke on a costume, I was grateful my dress could be stapled in back.  Another ex. When things are rough between someone & I, I search for why I am grateful for that person–even if it’s unrelated to the situation at hand.
  4.  I listen to something uplifting, so my mind is distracted & I don’t dwell on things
  5. service–I serve by emailing others a bit of joy that I noticed in their lives or by journaling to my future posterity–helps me see it in my own life…for some reason, things are, made clearer to me when I type!

 

I am convinced that before u feel down, u need to prepare for those days by strengthening your testimony, attending church, learning to recognize the spirit, etc…I truly believe that Satan wants us to feel that way, & will find any way into our home, & sometimes the way in, is when he finds a way to make us feel down on ourselves.  That only seeps into our relationships, & makes us get even more down on ourselves…so, a huge strategy of mine is to recall when things were good, & figure out  why Satan wants to ruin things, & see how he “got in”, so it doesn’t keep happening. This is a fairly new strategy for me, but it works.

Been busy…I climbed Mt. Everest!

I conquered Mount Everest!  Well, not really…recently I rode “Expedition Everest” at Disney World.  For my 20th Anniversary, we spent 1 ½ amazing days at DisneyWorld, then went on a Disney Cruise again—Disney just knows how to treat someone in a w/c!

 

On our trip, I had little therapy, so when I went horseback riding after our trip, I had trouble sitting up, & it wasn’t until the lesson was 1/2-way done, that my body seemed to remember what to do!  I collapsed when I got off the horse, & had to tilt my chair back, cuz I was too tired to even sit up.  Lol

 

This month has been quite busy (hence, I haven’t posted in FOREVER!), & has brought with it a desire to make some changes in my life. A few weeks ago, I felt MISERABLE, but I recognized that Satan has been using the same “door” for years to enter my life, & changes were necessary to “strengthen” me, so I didn’t keep letting him into my life.  I am grateful that I have someone in my life who keeps giving me chances as I figure things out, & not giving up on me!  As I thought about things,I realized that at times, we can do all we think we can do, & even involve God in the plans we have for our own lives, but sometimes we just need to surrender to God, & let God take care of things his way.

 

C.S. Lewis said “Imagine yourself as a living house.  God comes in to rebuild that house.  At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing.  He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on:  you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.  But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense.  What on earth is He up to?  The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.  You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.”

 

I heard this quote a few years ago, & it seemed so fitting for my life after my stroke, but it has recently re-entered my mind, & I’m seeing that in order for God to build His palace, I need to “relinquish the reins.”   This is very hard for me, as I am a control-freak who already has lost so much control of my life. (Though it can be argued that it should be easier for me to give up control in my life!)   However, in surrendering to God, I am not losing control—I am actually gaining control by helping make the decisions as my “palace” is built.

 

MtEverest_jan2015

20 Years Ago Today

In the summer of 2004, Mk tried sitting me on the mat (for the 1st time since my stroke) to balance (u can see it on youtube, in “Jenny’s Story”).  When I was sitting on the mat, they gingerly let go of me, not sure if I could balance.  These days, when I’m put on the mat, I have Angie’s son, who will  push me,  crawl all over me, & try everything to knock me over, but I’ve built up my core muscles so much in horse therapy, that I remain firm!  It’s amazing!

 

On Dec. 29th,  20 years ago today I married a wonderful man, who had built a firm testimony in Christ, & was able to stay firm through so much-it’s amazing he is still by my side!  I would not be where I am today w/o his constant love & support!