visits with the girls

Today was a great day for Jenny and our little girls. Hospital visits are so hard for our childen, especially since it is hard for them to carry on a one-way conversation with mom. They are so excited to visit mom up until they see her motionless and expressionless in her bed. At that point, they get a little anxious and quiet. Today, they got to go see Jenny in a more upright position and go outside in a beautiful garden area with their mom. There had a pond with fish and turtles which made the kids run around all crazy and come to Jenny in excitement while they told of the turtles. For a second, it seemed like they forgot about mom being at a hospital. Jenny needed this experience with the kids today, plus it was the first time being outside her room (except for medical transport- but that was not too fun).

Jenny also got her hair washed for the first time since her stroke. She loved every minute of it. She has been bothered by her hair, but she seemed more satisfied today. She indicated that she wanted her legs shaved, but changed her mind after I took one pass at her with a razor. I did not cut her, but I’m sure I did something wrong. Jenny seems to be experiencing more pain in various parts of her body. It is hard to not be able to do much about it. We massage, try to reposition her, and make sure she gets medications when needed, but I doubt she can ever get any too comfortable. It hurts me to see distress on her face. I try to run through a list of things that have bothered her in the past, which usually works, but sometimes fail to figure out what she needs. I feel the need to apoligize all the time for not knowing what to do for her- and for never being able to put her glasses on her without accidentally catching the nose pieces on her nostrils. I am not the only one who has that problem, so I don’t feel too bad about the glasses part.

April 7, 2004

Jenny tried out a speaking valve for her trachea today. The speach therapist was talking to her about electronic communciation and I knew what Jenny was thinking. The therapist agreed to humor us by letting Jenny try the valve. Jenny was happy to just have air return to her mouth, but I knew she hoped that she would be able to speak. She surprised the speach therapist with some ability to move her mouth and even swallow when given small pieces of ice. The ice alone was a treat. Because of this, more therapy will be applied to working on vocal speech recovery. She was worn out with the little physical therapy and sitting up that she was allowed to do.

I brought the stuff to the hospital that Jenny purchased months ago for Easter baskets. Actually, I brought stuff for Easter, Christmas, and birthdays for the next year. I needed to have Jenny tell me what was for who, and when. We sorted things out with only slight problems. Her blinks were not making sense, and after telling her that her blinks were incorrect, I found out I overlooked something and she was right the whole time. I bet she is thinking, “just trust me”, or “someone please notice that I am laying on a large plastic connection valve”. The nurse realized the valve thing, and we eventually figure out what Jenny is trying to communicate to us. Blinking words can be very difficult and it wears her out. She tries less and less to spell each day and is very concise and to the point about important things.

First full day in Indy

The nurses had Jenny in a sitting position today and they felt she did well. Jenny’s sister does not feel Jenny thought it was as successful. Jenny appeared a little down today, but was able to spend more time with her sister and kids which brightened the mood. I spent a few hours doing errands for Jenny and getting dental work done on Jessie. Jenny is so organized that I just have to show up and things take care of themselves. Jessie is probably wishing Jenny is not as organized. Jenny seems to move her left big toe with some effort. The doctors say they will bring in special infra-red goggles that read her blinks so she can communicate better. She was resistive to any other efforts to communicate that with her real voice when the idea was brought up in Cleveland, but may be more willing since we often miss obvious signs of distress. I’m sure there is one heck of an itch on her nose that needs scratching, and we are still srtuggling with blink spelling. We read the cards and notes from friends and family to her. She truley appreciates the love being shown to her. She cries too much to show her them all at one time, but she feels your love.

Jenny is home (back in Indy)

Jenny is now at St Elizabeth Ann Seton in Carmel. She flew well and had no problems in transport. I think that just being near the kids will speed her healing. She cried hard when she first saw the kids and they all missed her so much. Sophia kept kissing her and would hug me so tight. Jenny is limiting visitors at first, but will see more people as she catches up with family for now and gets a little stronger.

I think this is our moving day

From what they tell us, we will be in Indy this afternoon- but we will wait and see. I realized that I have had the advantage of being one of the few people who have been with Jenny all these weeks (it has almost been 3 weeks). We obviously had our initial grief and the expected dealing with the general unknown. However, I have aquired a real peace about our future and our family doing well with our new challenge. I know Jenny will progress much more than doctors let on. Our faith is going to play a huge part in that. Unfortunately, most of our friends and some family have not seen Jenny since before the stroke. I realize until they see Jenny and realize she is doing better each day, that it is difficult.

We have actually had a bunch of times where Jenny is laughing (a quiet laugh with a huge smile) at stories, jokes, and the situations that come up. Yesterday, she coughed and ended up clamping down on her bottom lip with her teeth. I saw the pain in her face and helped free the lip. Once it was done, she just laughed on how silly the situation was. She cries too. It is hard for her to talk about her hobbies, primary calling, or other lifestyle changes without choking up. She is getting better as she gets use to things. When a movement occurs that is voluntary, we celebrate, and you can see it in Jenny’s eyes that she did it on her own. She is proud and excited as well. I have found myself talking to family or friends who just found out about Jenny who obviously try to say the right things about the initial stroke. I feel torn with being somber when discussing Jenny with others for the 1st time, but yet excited about the progress that just occured. I would imagine that when others are able to visit, Jenny will get emotional (mostly because visitors are crying as they see her for the first time), but the mood is usually returned to laughing and celebrating. We are so blessed with what we have been given, despite the hardships we know we will face.