Do you still experience double vision and how have the doctors treated it? Is there a treatment that was especially effective?

I do still experience  double vision, but it is  a lot better, & I can read smaller font–in fact, I use a mini iPad now!  (Sometimes I need a magnifying glass, though..but I am getting old!) J

 

The doctors did nothing.  They wanted to use an eye patch (like a pirate), but couldn’t promise anythhing,  & said that whatever it did, would only be temporary.  Call me  vain, but since I already had a trache, catheter, feeding tube, “boots”, & arm braces, I was  not too keen on adding another thing, unless I was  gauranteed permanent change!

“Wherefore Didst Thou Doubt?”

I was watching this video about when Peter walked on water (https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-01-024-wherefore-didst-thou-doubt?&cld=HP_TH_18-5-2017_dPFD_fMLIB_xLIDyL1-A_&lang=eng), & realized that my speech can be the same way.

 

I have some friends who routinely come by to chat…Rarely, do I ever sign—we really do chat!  & excitedly, I can FINALLY speak to my hairdresser (who, before, couldn’t even talk to me, cuz I could not answer w/a head nod!), & sometimes, I can get out a “thank you” to a person who holds the door open for me!  (This has bothered me for so long, it is very exciting to me!)  I have answered a few phone calls, & have gotten braver, & open our front door, & approach people (in the past, I’d never do that, cuz I can’t talk to them, & they can’t talk to me).  Not long ago, my husband went to help one of my friend’s w/some home repairs, & I tagged along to just keep her company & chat…she knows no ASL, yet for quite sometime we conversed just fine!  & I have had friends at church remark on how clear my speech is getting, & approach me in the halls to talk!    So, with all this occurring to build up my confidence, in a sense, I can walk on water!

 

However my speech is not perfect, & still needs A LOT of work!  As I watched the video, I could understand Peter’s thoughts–often, like Peter, I will think, “I’m doing it!” & have a moment of thrill, followed by panic, questioning myself, & then I clam up (& sink).  It is not until I stop thinking about how I did it, or stop feeling anxious, that I can again speak.  The title of the video is “Wherefore Didst Thou Doubt?”  How much that fits me as well…

 

I have been sick lately, & a few weeks ago, I literally couldn’t speak for a few days, & I had to resort to sign language again…it was horrible!  (Ironic to hear that from me, I know…but I guess it is like swimming in water, after experiencing walking on water), & I wondered how I had tolerated it for so many years!  My family has “gotten out of the practice” of periodically looking at me, & I forgot how hard it is to get people’s attention when u can’t even make a single noise!!!  When I was telling a family member about how I had lost my voice that weekend, she pointed out how it was a good thing I had enough voice to even lose it!

Small things I am grateful for…

I‘m obviously grateful to Mark for countless things (most of all, for staying by my side & living in a way, so he can always be there for me), but as I was watching this video (https://www.mormon.org/easter/principles-of-peace/gratitude), & I wanted to express gratitude to my kids for some small deeds they did the 1st year after my stroke…things they may be unaware of:

Zach: When I came home from the hospital, he gave me a card.It read, “Gary the Get Well Gorilla wants you to getwell soon!”  Inside said,  “And you better do what Gary says!”  Zach wrote, “Gary says if you exersz (exercise) you get better.”  Whenever things got tough, or I was tired, I kept going, cuz Gary (Zach) said I should!

In addition, there was a morning when I entered the kitchen, & found him at the breakfast table, studying a Sesame Street book about sign language.  I was touched when he explained that he “wanted to learn how to talk to mom.”

Jessie: every night, she’d come into my room, pull a chair over to my bedside, sit down & twirl, entertain me, & just talk my ear off!  Such a simple thing, but it meant so much!  It was the brightest part of each day!

Sophie: She was so young (only 2 years old), that she did not understand (like Zach & Jessie did), that I could do nothing when she got hurt. So she would cry for me & want to be put on my lap to “kiss her owie better.”  I could not even pucker or lift her hurt limb to my mouth, so she did it…& somehow, I still gave her “magic kisses!”

Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend!

If u haven’t seen it yet, this video is on my Facebook page that shows Jessie in my travel wheelchair.  It’s kind of freaky how much Jessie looks like me!

Well, last night, Jessie hurt her ankle, & the crutches we have are way too small—they are from when she was a little girl!  So, she has been using my travel wheelchair to get around…it’s pretty funny to have my “doppelganger” (twin) around!  Poor Cooper must feel like he has double vision!

But it’s kinda’ cool that I can help my kid out in a way that no “normal” mom can! It has been a struggle for me to accept motherhood “this way”—it certainly is not the way I anticipated my life to be!  However, as Dieter F.  Uctdorf said, “Sometimes we mistake diamonds on our path for ordinary pebbles … (but the) heat & pressure that our trials bring us can make us strong like a diamond if we remain faithful to our Heavenly Father.”

I have definitely “stubbed my toe” on what seemed to initially be the “pebbles” on my path, & later on discovered out that they were “diamonds”.  Being a “different” kind of mom is one of those “diamonds.”  Sometimes, I need  a reminder that those are “diamonds” & not “pebbles”, but if I had not been put on this path, I may have remained focused on things that I thought made the “perfect” mom, & had forgotten other ways that mattered. But this large new path has allowed me to find even the smallest “diamonds” that I may have missed if I wasn’t rolling down my path!

Speaking of finding diamonds on your path in life, here is an Easter video that I absolutely love:

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2009-04-14-none-were-with-him?lang=eng

& check it out the video on www.mormon.org — There are even more videos to watch during the week leading up to Easter, as you focus on one of the eight principles on the website to learn how u too can find the diamonds on your path, and find His peace in your life.

I am “equine therapy tired!”

Years ago, my daughter returned home from a track practice, just in time for a piano lesson, & informed us that she was “athletically tired”!   Well, after a week with no horse therapy, I am “equine therapy tired!”  But, I don’t mind it, as this is one of the few things I do, where I can see myself improving, & where I do more to get my heart pumping!  It may be tiring, but it feels good!

I have always hated attending loud, busy paces, because all I hear is background noise (& since my feet are in front of me,  if we are at a table, I sit behind everyone…which only adds to the problem!)  It helped a bit when I got some stomach muscle, & could pull myself forward, but I couldn’t control how far forward I went, so I might hit my head on the table,  before I could awkwardly brace myself with my right arm!  However, we recently went on a cruise, & while at a noisy dinner, I leaned forward 45 degrees, & HELD IT THERE!

There is no doubt in my mind that that kind of abdominal muscle control is from horse (equine) therapy!