“Wherefore Didst Thou Doubt?”

I was watching this video about when Peter walked on water (https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-01-024-wherefore-didst-thou-doubt?&cld=HP_TH_18-5-2017_dPFD_fMLIB_xLIDyL1-A_&lang=eng), & realized that my speech can be the same way.

I have some friends who routinely come by to chat…Rarely, do I ever sign—we really do chat! & excitedly, I can FINALLY speak to my hairdresser (who, before, couldn’t even talk to me, cuz I could not answer w/a head nod!), & sometimes, I can get out a “thank you” to a person who holds the door open for me! (This has bothered me for so long, it is very exciting to me!) I have answered a few phone calls, & have gotten braver, & open our front door, & approach people (in the past, I’d never do that, cuz I can’t talk to them, & they can’t talk to me). Not long ago, my husband went to help one of my friend’s w/some home repairs, & I tagged along to just keep her company & chat…she knows no ASL, yet for quite sometime we conversed just fine! & I have had friends at church remark on how clear my speech is getting, & approach me in the halls to talk! So, with all this occurring to build up my confidence, in a sense, I can walk on water!

However my speech is not perfect, & still needs A LOT of work! As I watched the video, I could understand Peter’s thoughts–often, like Peter, I will think, “I’m doing it!” & have a moment of thrill, followed by panic, questioning myself, & then I clam up (& sink). It is not until I stop thinking about how I did it, or stop feeling anxious, that I can again speak. The title of the video is “Wherefore Didst Thou Doubt?” How much that fits me as well…

I have been sick lately, & a few weeks ago, I literally couldn’t speak for a few days, & I had to resort to sign language again…it was horrible! (Ironic to hear that from me, I know…but I guess it is like swimming in water, after experiencing walking on water), & I wondered how I had tolerated it for so many years! My family has “gotten out of the practice” of periodically looking at me, & I forgot how hard it is to get people’s attention when u can’t even make a single noise!!! When I was telling a family member about how I had lost my voice that weekend, she pointed out how it was a good thing I had enough voice to even lose it!

7 comments

Boy did I need this for next week. Praying for the Lord’s help after we’ve done all that we can do. I needed reminded to not doubt. Thank you for this post.

Jenny, I love, love, love this post! For many reasons, but first off it makes me so happy to hear how very well you are doing with speaking!! You have worked long and hard on that and endured silence for so long – you deserve every little or loud sound you can make! I can’t wait to see you again and talk together. I am living in Houston now – can’t remember if I told you – we live really close to the temple and that is wonderful. I don’t get to Austin much because we only have one car right now, but hopefully that will change in the future. One of the other reasons I love your post is because it inspired me with faith and patience in my life right now. You are so good at doing that – being an inspiration. I think that is one of the main reasons you were allowed to go through this trial in your life – to learn from it and teach others. And you have definitely risen to the challenge. Thanks for sharing your wisdom once again. I love your analogy and am so glad you’re out of the water and are walking on it! Love you, Cara

You did it! You achieved what you thought impossible. You have made me so proud of how far you have come. This reminds me of something I read yesterday.
“You might not realize it, but your everyday thoughts/language has a major impact on your life. And while it’s easy to react negatively to life events, pretty soon complaining becomes a habit.”
You did not get stuck complaining about what happened and why.

Jenny says:

May 21, 2017 at 12:42 pm

Love that quote! ❤️

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Jenny – you are an angel on earth – reminding all of us of things so important always. Hugs to you and your family – we are awaiting Branden’s mission call – I can’t believe our boys are so grown up ❤. I miss you friend.