I was watching this video about when Peter walked on water (https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-01-024-wherefore-didst-thou-doubt?&cld=HP_TH_18-5-2017_dPFD_fMLIB_xLIDyL1-A_&lang=eng), & realized that my speech can be the same way.
I have some friends who routinely come by to chat…Rarely, do I ever sign—we really do chat! & excitedly, I can FINALLY speak to my hairdresser (who, before, couldn’t even talk to me, cuz I could not answer w/a head nod!), & sometimes, I can get out a “thank you” to a person who holds the door open for me! (This has bothered me for so long, it is very exciting to me!) I have answered a few phone calls, & have gotten braver, & open our front door, & approach people (in the past, I’d never do that, cuz I can’t talk to them, & they can’t talk to me). Not long ago, my husband went to help one of my friend’s w/some home repairs, & I tagged along to just keep her company & chat…she knows no ASL, yet for quite sometime we conversed just fine! & I have had friends at church remark on how clear my speech is getting, & approach me in the halls to talk! So, with all this occurring to build up my confidence, in a sense, I can walk on water!
However my speech is not perfect, & still needs A LOT of work! As I watched the video, I could understand Peter’s thoughts–often, like Peter, I will think, “I’m doing it!” & have a moment of thrill, followed by panic, questioning myself, & then I clam up (& sink). It is not until I stop thinking about how I did it, or stop feeling anxious, that I can again speak. The title of the video is “Wherefore Didst Thou Doubt?” How much that fits me as well…
I have been sick lately, & a few weeks ago, I literally couldn’t speak for a few days, & I had to resort to sign language again…it was horrible! (Ironic to hear that from me, I know…but I guess it is like swimming in water, after experiencing walking on water), & I wondered how I had tolerated it for so many years! My family has “gotten out of the practice” of periodically looking at me, & I forgot how hard it is to get people’s attention when u can’t even make a single noise!!! When I was telling a family member about how I had lost my voice that weekend, she pointed out how it was a good thing I had enough voice to even lose it!