I'VE BEEN HOME ABOUT A WEEK, BUT HAVEN'T POSTED SINCE I WAS PLAYING "CATCH UP" (STILL AM, BUT IT'S SLOW W/DOUBLE VISION & 1 TYPING FINGER) 4 THE 9 DAYS WE WERE AWAY. WE HAVE A GREAT SYSTEM NOW, WHERE I COULD ACCESS MY HOME COMPUTER & USED A PROJECTOR IN PLACE OF THE BIG SCREEN LCD THAT'S MY MONITER AT HOME. STILL, THERE'S A DELAY WHEN I USE GOTOMYPC.COM, & THE DELAY IS EVEN BIGGER, DEPENDING ON THE INTERNET CONNECTION I USE. AFTER A WHILE, THERE WAS JUST CERTAIN THINGS I LEFT 4 AT HOME, WHEN THERE WAS NO DELAY ON MY COMP. BUT I HATE 2 THINK HOW MUCH MORE I'D BE BEHIND IF THERE WASN'T A COMP. I COULD USE!!! YES, IT TOOK TWICE AS LONG (I EVEN TYPED 2 FAST 4 THE DELAY!), BUT I WAS ON THE COMP. MORE THAN ANY OTHER VACATION. FELT SO GOOD! U KNOW THOSE FLEETING THOUGHTS U HAVE THAT MAKE U PICK UP THE PHONE? THOSE INSPIRE MANY OF MY EMAILS, & IT WAS NICE 2 SHARE SOME & NOT HAVE 2 REMEMBER THEM FOR 9 DAYS!

I FINALLY GOT TIRED OF DOING WHAT I SHOULD DO, & DID WHAT I WANTED 2 DO ON THURS.: I MADE A SCRAP. PG.—I'LL POST IT SOON. I'M PAYING 4 IT (SAT., I HAD SO MUCH 2 DO, I WASN'T SURE WHERE 2 START), BUT IT KEPT ME SANE!

BET IT'S ODD 2 THINK OF ME AS "BUSY." BET SOME WONDER WHAT I DO. WELL, TRY TYPING EVERYTHING U WANT 2 SAY, W/1 FUNGER, 4 A DAY. THEN, THROW IN SCRAPBOOKS & JOURNALS 4 ME & MY 3 KIDS. ALSO ADD THE FACT THAT I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF AT LEAST 4 PROJECTS 2 MAKE HARDBOUND BOOKS W/ SCRAPBOOKS, I READ ALL DAY (& READING TAKES TWICE AS LONG), I'M STILL A MOM & WIFE, I POST ON HERE, ETC.

KNOW WHAT'S HARD ABOUT TRAVELLING?
THINGS JUST R NOT MADE 4 THE HANDICAPPED00AVERAGE HOMES GAVE STAIRS, THINNER HALLS, SMALL DOORWAYS, ETC. BUT THIS ISN'T LIMITED 2 "AVERAGE"—I'VE BEEN IN MY SHARE OF BATHROOMS THAT R "HANDICAPPED," YET 2 SMALL 4 MY CHAIR! THANK GOODNESS MARK (MK) CAN CARRY ME & LEAVE MY CHAIR OUTSIDE THE STALL!

AT HOME, THINGS R SET UP SO I'M EXTREMELY INDEPENDENT, 4 ME. I LEAVE, & THAT'S STRIPPED AWAY, WHICH IS HARD 4 BOTH MK & I BECAUSE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ALONE ANYMORE, & WE R ACCUSTOMED 2 A DIFF. LIFESTYLE—I MUST DRIVE MARK CRAZY 2 ALWAYS NEED HIM, YET IT STINKS 2 SIT & DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS 1ST HOME FROM THE HOSPITALS! DIFF. IS, I NOW HAVE A POWER (VS. MANUAL) CHAIR, SO AT LEAST I CAN CHANGE MY VIEW!

HOWEVER, WE HAD A SCARE WHERE MY W/C STOPPED WORKING. AT HOME, WE HAVE A REPAIR PLACE & EXTRA (MANUAL) W/C I CAN TEMP. USE, BUT THERE, WE HAD NOTHING. REALITY SET IN ABOUT HOW BAD THAT WAS! FORTUNATELY, AFTER MK & I SAID INDEPENDENT PRATERS IN R HEADS, MY W/C MIRACUOUSLY WORKED AGAIN!

PROB. THE HARDEST THING IS IF I'M GIVEN “PITY LOOKS”. MY BROTHER, WHO IS AWAY FOR 2 YEARS IN FINLAND, SAID, "Many do not have the priviledge of this (ONLY COMMUNICATING W/ME THROUGH EMAIL), and see you as the jenny they see. There is a big difference between the Jenny they see, and the one that is you! "

THIS IS SOOO TRUE! C-ING ME PHYSICALLY, CAN TOTALLY MIS-REPRESENT WHO I AM INSIDE! MAYBE THAT'S WHY I POST—I'M DIFF. HERE & I FEEL I CAN BE ME!

IT'S BEEN AWILE, THOUGH I'VE POSTED 3 TIMES IN MY HEAD! LOL ("IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS," RIGHT? LOL) BEEN BUSY CARING 4 THE CAT—IT'S AS TIME CONSUMING AS A NEW BABY, BECAUSE IF I LET HIM OUT OF HIS ROOM, HAVE 2 PLAY W/IT (WELL, WATCH HIM & TWICE I TRIED 2 CRUMPLE PAPER BALLS 4 HIM—WHICH IS GREAT THERAPY 4 ME!) & GIVE HIM THE ATTENTION HE NEEDS. MY LAP, IN A SPACE UNDER MY COMP. TABLE & QUIET ME ALSO PROVIDE A PERFECT NAPPING SPOT (BUT IF HE HEARS SOME1, HE BITES 2 TRY 2 STAY AWAKE & PLAY–& I GO CRAZY, SO HE'S PUT IN HIS ROOM).

TYPING IS PILING UP, SINCE I CAN RARELY TYPE W/TIGER AROUND. HE IS DEVELOPING BAD HABITS, BECAUSE I CAN'T SAY NO (LIKE WALKING ON MY COMP. KEYBOARD & TABLE, CHEWING WIRES 4 MY COMP., PLAYFULLY BITING MY FINGER OR KNEES) & UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN'T PUT HIM AWAY WHEN HE MIS-BEHAVES (WHICH AFFECTS MY TIME W/HIM, BECAUSE, THOUGH I'M HOME A LOT, I DON'T LET HIM OUT OF HIS ROOM, UNLESS I KNOW HE CAN STAY OUT A LONG TIME OR HE'S OUT UNTIL JESS GETS HOME FROM SCHOOL.

BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS: "I WASN’T EXCITED ABOUT GETTING A CAT, THOUGH, BECAUSE I HATED IF R DOG BLOCKED ME, & I COULDN’T MOVE." BUT AFTER I STROKED, I NEVER PETTED OR BONDED W/THE DOG, SO SHE BECAME A NUISANCE. BUT, I HAVE MORE PATIENCE 4 TIGER, SINCE WE’VE BONDED, & HE’S JUST LITERALLY IN MY FACE. HE PROVIDES A GREAT COMPANION, & THOUGH HE'S VERY PLAYFUL (LIKE A DOG), HE'LL SIT STILL IN MY LAP & LET ME DRIVE (I GO EXTREMELY SLOW, SO HE CAN GET OFF IF HE CHOOSES; BUT ONCE HE SAW ME GET IN MY ELEVATOR, SNUCK IN, & GOT ON MY LAP, 2 GO 4 A RIDE!)

THE BEST IS THAT TIGER GIVES ME GREAT THERAPY, SOMETHING 2 DO BESIDES COMP. OR TV (I HATE TV ANYWAY & GET BORED DOING COMP. STUFF—ALTHOUGH THERE'S ALWAYS SOME 2 DO), PROVIDES ENTERTAINMENT IF WE LOOSE POWER, & THERE R LONELY DAYS (DESPITE EMAILLING PEOPLE) & HE PROVIDES TONS OF COMPAINIONSHIP.

SURE, THERE R TIMES HE CAUSES HEADACHES & FRUSTRATES ME, BUT I HAVE 2 REMIND MYSELF, "HE'S A KITTEN. KITTENS DO THAT. I'M REALLY FRUSTRATED W/ME, SINCE I CAN DO NOTHING 2 TEACH HIM, WHEN HE MIS-BEHAVES.) HOWEVER, AT TIMES, HE DOES RECOGNNIZE MY DISAPPROVAL GRUNT & HOW I SAY "TIGER" ("I-ER"). (AGAIN, GREAT THERAPY!)

THOSE WHO'VE MET ME RECENTLY, KNOW MY LEFT ARM IS RESTRAINED BY A VELCRO STRAP. MAY BE BAD 2 DO, BUT IT BEGAN AS A JOKE 2 RESTRAIN IT. HOWEVER, 4 MUCH I DO, THE ARM HAS 2 BE UP ON MY ARMREST. UNFORTUNATELY, IT BECAME A REAL PROBLEM, SINCE IT MOVES TOWARDS MY TORSO, IF I CRY/SNEEZE/LAUGH–SO, I WAS ALWAYS GAURDING IT. I ALSO USE THE LT. ELBOW 4 SUPPORT, BUT IN ADDITION 2 TIPPING OVER, THE LT. ARM WAS A NUISANCE. NEEDLESS 2 SAY, I REALLY LIKED THE JOKE, SO I INSISTED THE STRAP STAY!

IT'S COMMON 2 THINK THAT SINCE MY LEFT SIDE CAN NOT MOVE, THERE'S NO FEELING. BUT I CAN FEEL EVERYTHING! (JUST CAN’T MOVE AROUND A WHOLE BUNCH.)

BUT I WILL MOVE MY LEFT SIDE IF I SNEEZE, LAUGH, OR FEEL INTENSE PAIN (BUT IF LESS INTENSE, I JUST HAVE 2 TOLERATE THE PAIN.)

IN ORDER 2 FEEL, USUALLY, TOUCH HAS 2 BE GENERAL, NOT SPECIFIC (LIKE TOUCHING MY SHOULDER VERSUS IDENTIFYING WHICH FINGER WAS TOUCHED ON MY LEFT HAND–I ASSUME BECAUSE I DON'T PRACTICE FEELING ON MY LT. SIDE AS MUCH, & MY RT. SIDE PRACTICES ALL DAY, LIKE AS I TYPE ON MY KEYBOARD—SO MY BRAIN IS MORE AWARE OF WHAT PARTS OF MY BODY TOUCH STUFF ON MY RT. SIDE). SO I WOULD RECOGNIZE SOMETHING BETTER IF MY WHOLE LEFT HAND, VERSUS A FINGER, FELT SOMETHING. ODD, HUH?

I DO FEEL HOT/COLD 2: IF SUBJECTED 2 COLD WATER, I EXTEND & I REQUIRE REALLY WARM WATER WHEN I DO SWIM THERAPY. PLUS, MY LT. HAND/FOOT IS ALWAYS COLD, PROB. DUE 2 DECREASED BLOODFLOW!

OTHER EXCEPTIONS:
• IF I HAVE A REALLY GOOD ITCH ON MY LEFT & WAIT 2 SCRATCH W/MY RT., I STRAIGHTEN MY LT. ARM/LEG (LIKE A GOOD NOSE ITCH STRAIGHTENS BOTH MY LEGS)
• IF I YAWN I CONTRACT MY LT. SIDEIF I'M MOVED, I STRETCH AND EXTEND MY LT. SIDE
• I STRETCH AND EXTEND IF ANY MUSCLE ON MY LEFT REACTS, AFFECTING OTHER LIMBS:
• TRYING 2 MOVE MY LT. FOOT, MY LT. ARM STIFFENS—IT'S A "WHOLE BODY AFFAIR" 2 MOVE ANY PART OF MY BODYY
• EXERCING A LOT 2 RAISE MY RT. ARM, CAN CAUSE MY LEFT LEG 2 STIFFEN & STICK STRAIGHT OUT
• THE MUSCLES R TIGHTENED W/NON-USE. & IF MY LT. LEG/ARM HANGS DOWN, PULLING ON ME AS DEAD WEIGHT, MY LEG/ARM CAN JERK THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION 2 TRY 2 RELEIEVE THE PRESSURE OF THE DEAD WEIGHT.

BUT KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY? I CAN IMAGINE OPENING & CLOSING MY LEFT HAND, BUT IT DOESN'T MOVE EXCEPT IN MY HEAD!

JESS HAS FRACTURED HER LEFT WRIST, & GUESS I'M EVIL, BECAUSE I RATHER ENJOY C-ING HOW SHE MANUVERS W/1 HAND (THOUGH SHE HAS THE UNFAIR ADVANTAGE OF STILL HAVING PARTIAL ACCESS 2 HER LEFT FINGERS). SHE SHOULD USE THOSE FINGERS—AT 1ST, SHE DIDN'T, & IT DROVE ME CRAZY 2 C USEFUL FINGERS GO 2 WAIST!