News

Playing “catch up”

I haven’t posted in a while.  In June, we returned from a Disney cruise that went around Northern Europe (we went to London, Denmark, Germany, Sweden, Finland, Russia, Estonia, & the Netherlands). Oddly, London seems more accessible than the US! Mark & I planned to just go with my girls. But my family heard about it, & 23 more people came along! It was a blessing in disguise that so much family was there, because Mark had a kidney stone, & was sick for part of the trip, but there was tons of family there to help w/me!  My kids could’ve helped me the whole time (Jess is freakishly strong, & if teenagers want to help, they can be a great asset), but it was nice for them to be able to share the load, so they could still be kids!  & though it’d have been better if Mark did not have to be sick, if I chose where to have him be sick, the cruise was handy because  there was so much help w/me, w/the cooking, & with the cleaning!

 

This cruise, the elevators are a lot less crowded with strollers, walkers, & scooters, & since I had been out & about more with me driving (since Mark was sick), I knew the ship better…so, I got adventuresome & opened the theater doors (so I could get out of the theater while the show still played), went from floor 5 to floor 3, so I could check out a game, then came up to my room on floor 8–ALL BY MYSELF!!!   From then on, if I wanted to see a movie or something, I just took off!  (I could because my room had an automatic door opener)  It was awesome!

 

About those elevators, one of my biggest pet peeves on cruises is that the stairs are ignored & elevators are heavily used by EVERYONE!  I wish the crew members gave wheelchairs priority on the elevators.)  I get that elevators are used by those who may have trouble walking, have bad knees, or when like 7 flights of stairs to climb, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but when an elevator that is going down opens, & is packed with healthy teenagers who just shut the door, it is hard to remain positive! Sometimes I wish I wore a sign that said, “u can walk, & I can’t.” Or “Laziness is NOT a disability!” (However, I shudder to think of how inconsiderate I was pre-stroke!).

However, on this cruise, I witnessed something that I have NEVER seen before: There was an evening where I was with a family member who had a stroller.  I was trying to return to my room after a movie, but elevator after elevator was packed with, what appeared to be, healthy people. When another elevator opened & was again full, a man (who I had met a few days before) stepped off the elevator, telling me to get on. My brother knew there was not room for the   stroller AND me, so he said we’d wait for the next one, so we could get on one together. The man (Rob?) then proceeded to empty the elevator for me!  I was so touched & impressed by Rob!  Every now & then, I meet someone who is kind & does stuff like giving up a table for me, or opens a door for me, but I have not witnessed such a dramatic move!

 

In July, we had a taste of the future as empty nesters, since the girls were gone so much at various camps.  While I think most parents put things aside when their kids are born, & I think those things start to resurface again when the kids leave, we mostly played catch up, since it was only 2 weeks!”…But I think it will be different in 3 years (yes, I am that old!), when my kids really leave,

 

Recently, we got a foreign exchange student–Giuli (Julie) from Switzerland. She will be here until January.  Her English is incredible, & she can already understand a word or two from me!  It is possible she just understands the context & catches one word that I say (she is smart), but it is great that we can communicate! 😜

 

Lastly, an article was printed about me in BYUMagazine (where I went to college): https://magazine.byu.edu/article/finding-her-voice/  Thanks to my dear friend, Laurie Smith, for the awesome family photo that is at the beginning of the article, & a shout to my friends in Indianapolis, IN, who were there for me the first year after my stroke!

“Wherefore Didst Thou Doubt?”

I was watching this video about when Peter walked on water (https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-01-024-wherefore-didst-thou-doubt?&cld=HP_TH_18-5-2017_dPFD_fMLIB_xLIDyL1-A_&lang=eng), & realized that my speech can be the same way.

 

I have some friends who routinely come by to chat…Rarely, do I ever sign—we really do chat!  & excitedly, I can FINALLY speak to my hairdresser (who, before, couldn’t even talk to me, cuz I could not answer w/a head nod!), & sometimes, I can get out a “thank you” to a person who holds the door open for me!  (This has bothered me for so long, it is very exciting to me!)  I have answered a few phone calls, & have gotten braver, & open our front door, & approach people (in the past, I’d never do that, cuz I can’t talk to them, & they can’t talk to me).  Not long ago, my husband went to help one of my friend’s w/some home repairs, & I tagged along to just keep her company & chat…she knows no ASL, yet for quite sometime we conversed just fine!  & I have had friends at church remark on how clear my speech is getting, & approach me in the halls to talk!    So, with all this occurring to build up my confidence, in a sense, I can walk on water!

 

However my speech is not perfect, & still needs A LOT of work!  As I watched the video, I could understand Peter’s thoughts–often, like Peter, I will think, “I’m doing it!” & have a moment of thrill, followed by panic, questioning myself, & then I clam up (& sink).  It is not until I stop thinking about how I did it, or stop feeling anxious, that I can again speak.  The title of the video is “Wherefore Didst Thou Doubt?”  How much that fits me as well…

 

I have been sick lately, & a few weeks ago, I literally couldn’t speak for a few days, & I had to resort to sign language again…it was horrible!  (Ironic to hear that from me, I know…but I guess it is like swimming in water, after experiencing walking on water), & I wondered how I had tolerated it for so many years!  My family has “gotten out of the practice” of periodically looking at me, & I forgot how hard it is to get people’s attention when u can’t even make a single noise!!!  When I was telling a family member about how I had lost my voice that weekend, she pointed out how it was a good thing I had enough voice to even lose it!

I am “equine therapy tired!”

Years ago, my daughter returned home from a track practice, just in time for a piano lesson, & informed us that she was “athletically tired”!   Well, after a week with no horse therapy, I am “equine therapy tired!”  But, I don’t mind it, as this is one of the few things I do, where I can see myself improving, & where I do more to get my heart pumping!  It may be tiring, but it feels good!

I have always hated attending loud, busy paces, because all I hear is background noise (& since my feet are in front of me,  if we are at a table, I sit behind everyone…which only adds to the problem!)  It helped a bit when I got some stomach muscle, & could pull myself forward, but I couldn’t control how far forward I went, so I might hit my head on the table,  before I could awkwardly brace myself with my right arm!  However, we recently went on a cruise, & while at a noisy dinner, I leaned forward 45 degrees, & HELD IT THERE!

There is no doubt in my mind that that kind of abdominal muscle control is from horse (equine) therapy!

Just bragging…

Just bragging…I increased my breakfast options today from yogurt, toast, & bananas: I made Qia (like oatmeal) all by myself today (using water, not milk!)  I love my new house that enables me to be more independent!  So proud of me!

Merry Christmas!

Sophie is in this “extra” choir outside of school.  They performed this weekend for the holiday season.  The day we went (Saturday) was a day filled with small upsets & disappointments, but it culminated when we went to Sophia’s concert, & the ONLY place I could sit was at the very far back of the room (with empty rows in front of us).  This is not the 1st time something like this occurred (handicap seating is often crappy), but it was just one more thing that day…

There is this new TV show called ‘Speechless’, & one of the actors is a teenage boy in a wheelchair, who is incapable of speech, & the mom is quite an advocate for her son, who will make it quite clear of how he should be treated…Needless to say, I was thrilled to hear that Mark went all “Speechless” on them, when they tried to be proud of completing the minimum accessibility requirements!

Despite that, I love Christmas. As a child, my favorite tradition was to prepare the manger for Christ: every good deed “earned” a piece of straw for the manger. That tradition never caught on w/my kids, so we did other stuff…

We have tried to keep the focus on Christ (our tree has only nativity ornaments, & most of our decorations are nativity related.–even our advent calendar is a nativity scene, & the while the actual nativity set we display is nice, it is not fragile, so it was ok if little hands touched it– though we also had a Fisher-Price nativity play set that was pulled out & added to their toys in December).  Even Santa remembered Christ in our home, & just as Christ received 3 gifts from the wise men, Santa only gave our kids 3 gifts (though when u add in a gift from your parents, from each sibling, from both sets of grandparents, & from Mark’s 5 siblings, & my 6 siblings, there’s a LOT more than 3 gifts–Thank goodness our siblings began to rotate, & do 1 family gift, instead of 11 individual gifts!)

In addition, to make the holiday less commercial & more personal, we continued Mark’s favorite tradition of making gifts for each other. It doesn’t always happen for Mark & me, but we often help the kids make each other gifts. These are my favorite gifts.

However, this year, I don’t feel very “Christmasy”.  My kids are all grown up, & it has seemed to loose it’s “magic” when everyone can pick out their own gifts!  But this year on Christmas, we will be able to talk to my missionary son (serving in California, for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).  After all those years of trying to put Christ into Christmas, that will certainly put the focus on Christ on Christmas Day!  Who knew I had to wait until now to find Christ in Christmas!