Church

22 years is a long time…

The last few weeks have had some rough days where I’ve had to remind myself that “I signed up for this being human thing!”  I don’t usually get sick, but when I do, it can wipe me out!  This last one seemed to cry out: “You’re old!”  Sadly, I am! 

March 16, 2026 was my 22nd stroke-aversary. 22 years…that’s a long time!   (My son, who was in first grade when I had my stroke, is now close to the same age I was when I had my stroke – & now he helps with the upkeep on my blog & lives nearby with his family – my 2 grandkids.  See, I’m old!) 

Speaking of my grandkids, we recently went on a trip with them. We had so much fun!   

Back in February, my grandson, James, & I had our first “real” conversation: 

James noticed I had a band-aid on my hand, & asked, “Grandma, what happened?”  I said I got an owie & he asked whaț kind of owìe. I tried to say, “burn,” & he said, “A what?” & he looked at me while I slowly said “burn”.. not thinking he’d understand. But he said, “oh, a burn”.  This conversation blew my mind (it seemed too “old” for his age), but it has led to some fun interactions with James in the following weeks.  He’s able to understand me like 80% of the time, so I can interact & tease him.  Back when my girls were this age, I couldn’t speak at all, so this is new territory for me, & very exciting! 

A few weeks ago, I was preparing to teach a lesson about goals in Young Women’s (11-17 year old girls at church), & I had ChatGPT research my website, & help me write about my “speech goal.” Here’s what was written: 

“In 2004, after my brainstem stroke, I was told I would never speak again. 

At the time, that seemed believable. I had a trach and couldn’t control my breathing. Sound wasn’t something I could choose to make, and speaking felt like an impossible long-term goal.  But I was determined to do it! 

What changed everything was learning to break that goal into small, reachable steps. 

My first goals had nothing to do with words—they were about breathing: 
controlling my breath, making simple sounds, and coordinating breath with voice. Later, those goals became saying a word, then a short phrase, and eventually several words on one breath. 

Each small goal is built on the last. 

Today, I can speak well enough to teach this lesson. I’m still hard to understand and still need a translator—but I can speak. Because of that, I consider my original long-term goal achieved. 

Now I have a new goal: to speak clearly enough that I don’t need a translator. My first step is learning to speak even when I get emotional and cry.  Sometimes I can do it.  Most of the time, I can’t! 

My life has taught me this: 
Big goals don’t happen all at once. They happen one small step at a time—especially when the finish line feels impossible.” 

Ironically, I shared this with my AI voice (because it reads faster than I read).  I don’t think I’ve said much about my AI voice, so here it goes: A year before my stroke, I recorded some books onto cassette tapes for my kids to listen to while I was gone. I was so insistent that it needed to be done that I did it after everyone went to bed, the night before I flew with my mom to see my sister in London. Fast forward 20+ years. My youngest daughter& her husband converted them to digital & made a unique AI voice with the recordings of my voice & added a Chicago accent (I grew up there). It’s pretty robotic if I type, so Sophie reads (what I write) with my AI voice to add voice inflections.  It’s pretty cool to have the child who remembers my voice the least sound like me! 

 
When I did my fireside last summer, I used my AI voice for 80-90% of the speaking. For the rest, I spoke…but since I talk so quiet (& I still sign when I get emotional), I asked my friend/helper, Angie, to repeat everything I said (if u wondered, yes, my fireside was recorded & is on my YouTube channel).   

Later, I shared a condensed version of my fireside for a Young Women’s lesson at church.   Mark told Angie to NOT repeat me during my YW lesson, so that was my first lesson teaching semi-alone (since my stroke)!  A few months later, I shared the above message (written with help from Chat GPT), & soon after, I was asked to teach the 14-15-year-old girls (Young Women) at church!  If I was told 22 years ago about all that my future held for me, I wouldn’t have believed it – it’s hard enough to believe right now while it’s happening! 

Me, busy?!

I have no excuse for not writing sooner – people say I’m busy, but I’m not sure why I’m so busy! Ha! I’ve been taking a writing course, working on my mental health, traveling – but there’s been downtime in between…I guess I’ve been doing more therapy with my increased downtime, however, I wanted to post about Halloween.

We just had our ward trunk or treat on Oct. 30, & I was excited that I could go off on my own this year, & talk to people without anyone with me…& this time, I did very little writing (only a few times, cuz there was loud music). I was shocked by how well several people did with figuring me out! This happens more frequently now (people being able to talk to me), but it is always exciting for me (10+ years of not being able to speak might be the reason why! Haha). As for my costume, I wore what I wore to my SILs Halloween party… I will share a video, but basically I was abducted by aliens (shout out to Ron for the awesome idea, & to Angie who made the UFO that was above me, with a light shining down on me, & there were iridescent streamers around me to simulate being beamed up).

We also went to a trunk or treat with my son, DIL, & grandkids, where I went as my teenage self – minus my big hair & hoop earrings. Haha

As for my travels, the “Lynn Family reunion” (my kids, their spouses, & my grandkids) went to Wyoming. We take turns planning reunions, & this year was Sophie & Davis Sophie went all out, complete with goody bags, signs on the doors in the house, games she’d made, etc. A favorite “tradition” is taking a family picture- & this year we added my granddaughter, Winnie (Rowynn)!

Mark, Mark’s sister, Margot, Margot ‘s husband, Jasen, & I also took a cruise to Italy, Greece, & Turkey. I thrive in small groups & had a great time with just the 4 of us! I have always enjoyed Margot’s company, & I was so comfortable with she & Jasen – it probably helped by how well both Margot & Jasen did with understanding me!

So I am in the alumni life story writing class (for the writing class I took) & I was on my cruise during the last class, so I was watching the replay & realized I was doing other stuff as I “listened.” The thought came to me to just pick one, so I can put my heart into it. So I just listened to the re-play, but I should probably always do that. Is that why I’m considered busy? But how can I do just one of those things?! I try to rotate & be present with whatever I try to do, though I struggle when I’m listening & not doing.

The Lord is with me

March 16 (Thursday this week) is what I affectionately call my “stroke-a-versary.” 19 years ago, on March 16, my family was told that I had 24 hours to live, & that if I survived, I’d only be able to blink.  Not only have I exceeded the doctor’s expectations, but I have slowly had things like my right arm, speech, & more return…things that assist me in serving the Lord.  At the time of my stroke, I was the primary chorister (teaching music to the kids at church who were 18 months old to 12 years old), so naturally, I sang the songs in my head, while I lay in my hospital bed recovering from my stroke. It was there that I learned the power of the primary music I had been teaching, as I (through song) received assurance that the Lord WAS there…& He continues to stay by my side!

I have begun conducting in the primary. That means I welcome the kids & help direct the flow of the meeting.  It was through inspiration that I learned how it was possible, & for two years I’ve been trying to figure out the kinks & get brave enough to do it.  Ha!  At first, I was scared to death (so I believe the Lord helped me that first day), but as with any anxiety, the more I have done it, the easier it has become.  & as an added bonus, by doing it, more people (teachers, other leaders, & even some children) are learning how to understand me, so I’m less afraid to speak up when I visit classes or see them in the hall!

Lately, the primary lessons have had a lot to do with people being healed by Christ, & on how Christ can heal us.  Since I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a questioning child somewhere who wonders about me & how it affects their faith in the Lord healing them, I shared this with my primary teachers:

“The primary manual says to, “Explain that sometimes a miraculous healing is not the Lord’s will, but we can still be blessed by His love and comfort.”  I know that is the case for me, &  that I will eventually be healed in His own time.  In the meantime, I have been healed in other ways, & strengthened to endure the ways I have not been healed.“  Often I am unaware of how I’m being strengthened until later.  Here’s one:

I now like to start my day with activities that point me in the right direction, so I like to do morning prayer, meditate, & do my personal scripture study.  I haven’t always done this.  The routine evolved over the last 19 years.  On a particularly difficult morning, I decided to listen to the podcast, “Don’t Miss This” for my personal scripture study.  I turned it on because it was my routine to hear God’s word then, & I was so tired, I just wanted to listen to it, but they always make me laugh!  Between being uplifted by God’s word & the clean humor, it’s like my slate was wiped clean & it changed my entire day!  I am so glad I have implemented healthy routines in my life that can aid me in the struggles I face!

What helps me to endure

I have been asked what has helped me to endure the trial I’ve been given & I’ve always felt that my beliefs play a big part & that my testimony of Jesus Christ has strengthened me throughout my entire life, & especially during these 17 years post-stroke. So (as usual) I’m excited to watch general conference this weekend, but I get more excited when Easter is the same weekend!

“General conference is the worldwide gathering of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Twice a year, during the first weekend of April and the first weekend of October, Church leaders from around the world share messages or sermons focused on the living Christ and His gospel. Viewers learn how to find peace, hope, and joy in Jesus Christ; how to strengthen families by following Jesus’s teachings; and how to receive personal guidance and inspiration from God. General conference is streamed and broadcast live in about 70 languages and is later translated into more than 100 languages. We invite everyone—of all faiths, beliefs, and backgrounds from everywhere in the world—to watch, listen, and participate.”(https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/learn/general-conference?lang=eng)

If u want to watch with me, here are Ways to Watch or Listen to General Conference Live: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/learn/ways-to-watch-general-conference?lang=eng

There are 4 sessions (Saturday 11-1 & 3-5, & Sunday 11-1 & 3-5, central time. U can watch 1 session, or all 4 sessions! Or, after the conference, the messages are published on ChurchofJesusChrist.organd in the Church’s Liahonamagazine.

Here’s an Apostle Testimony Montage:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2015-10-0001-apostle-testimony-montage?lang=eng

Where have I been?

It has been too long since I posted.  I think I’ve over-extended myself. When I do, the 1st thing to go is taking care of myself, so I’m re-gaining all the weight I lost the last 3 months, I’m doing less therapy, etc.  The 2nd thing I do is put my church calling (a volunteer job) before my friends & family … hence, I rarely text or call my kids, I isolate myself a lot, & as u have noticed, I haven’t been posting. Sometimes I realize it & spend time w/Mark, or text one of my kids.

In my last post, I mentioned how I liked being an empty nester, & over Christmas, my youngest, Sophia, mentioned how when she hears how we like being empty nesters, & she feels like we are saying that we are glad she is gone — but that simply is not true!  With the birth of EACH child, my marriage has changed—not in a bad way, but Mark had to share the spotlight. & I had to give up parts of me…& when I had my stroke, I lost a LOT of me—all but the “mom part”.  So, I’m getting to know “the new me”, & that spotlight is back to Mark.   I like having the chance to get to know me, & re-acquaint w/Mark (prior to my stroke, I prided myself on my multi-tasking abilities, & it made me so proud to know that when I was in the hospital, it took 5 women to do what I did alone…but now, I can only focus on one thing at a time, & finally that one thing is Mark!)   

So that’s what I’ve been doing.  There’s no feeling of “oh, good…he/she/the kids are gone”.  I will always love & miss my kids, but it’s a nice change to have more time for myself & Mark!

Through the years I’ve re-gained parts (like having a church calling), so the time I spend for myself has been devoted a lot to my church calling.  Our church has a program called “primary”.  The church handbook describes it as: “a home-centered, Church-supported (children’s) organization. It is for children ages 18 months to 11 years. At home, parents teach children the gospel. At church, Primary leaders and teachers support parents through lessons, music, and activities.”  The last few years I have voluntarily served as the primary secretary.  Recently, I was asked to be the Primary President…yes, me!  It was exciting & simultaneously scary in so many ways! 

So, lately I spend a lot of time being a primary president. I love doing it & having more time to be with Mark!  I just need to find a better balance!