LDS Living Magazine

In 2012, Mormon messages videotaped me, but the video was only online 15 minutes—we literally had 15 minutes of fame! The woman who interviewed us has been looking for a way to share our story, & she’s a freelance writer for LDS Living Magazine, so I was published in LDS Living Magazine’s January/February 2014 issue, in an article titled “Love, Marriage and Miracles.”

Currently, there’s no link to the article (i assume it is because this is the current issue for sale), but if you are interested in purchasing the magazine, you can find it here:

http://deseretbook.com/LDS-Living-Magazine-JanuaryFebruary-2014/i/5103140

Dima

I saw Dima new years eve, which was wonderful. When I aked how he was, he understood me & answered!

Things have not worked out to see much of Dima, which is sad & unfortunate, but I’m very grateful for this previous experience, as it has made me much less anxious (worrisome) about the situation:

Sat., 12/21, I was very upset & sad. While family could ride over to the house Dima was staying at, & see Dima, I could not. So, I hadn’t seen him since the airport, thurs night, & I missed him…

when dima stayed w/us during the summer, just as my stroke was once new to my kids, things w/me were all new to dima, so, just as my kids used to do, dima cheered when i came along, & if i rang my bell he responded lightening fast! he even would guess my needs, & offer things b4 i asked 4 them.

But I realized that we connected during the “down times—like if we were hanging out at the house, & he loved playing board games (often when mk was at work). Now, we didn’t have that, & I was sad! (Maya loves helping me too, & loves playing games too, if 1 is brought forward, but she rarely asks for a game, as Dima did!—I find myself feeling bad, if she looks bored)

But what really got me down, was thinking how now dima was with a “normal” mom, and there was no way I could “compete” w/that (not that it was a competition, but more like once he was around what a “normal” mom could do, he’d forget all about me, & not need me, or something.) It didn’t help that at the airport, everyone, except me got a hug upon their arrival. I tried my best to not take it personally—my dumb chair makes it awkward to give & receive hugs—but, nonetheless, I was sad!

Sunday, 12/22, mk brought dima to our home for a few hours. Those few hours totally altered how I see things! When dima saw me, he came over quickly to hug, kiss my cheek, & say hello. L8r, he happily sat by me while we played cards (while mk prepared food), & when food was served, he was all too happy to help me! It was as though he actually missed helping & serving me! I realized, the “normal” mom fills different needs, yes, but I DO TOO, & it comforted me to realize that EVERYONE, even me, has a unique role to play.

HOW ARE CHRIST’S SACRIFICE & MY SPEECH RELATED?

I know people compare their lives sometimes to rollercoasters. Lately, my life has not only been like a rollarcoaster, but DisneyWorld has a ride called ” The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” that my life seems to literally & figuratively be like the Winnie the Pooh ride, where guests ride in “spinnable” honey pots through what was conceptualized as the best scenes from the three Winnie the Pooh featurettes, & the tracks take you on a wild ride, turning & twisting, banging into doors & walls, etc.

maya & dima came Thursday night, 12/19. maya is staying at our home, & doing a fabulous job at learning 2 languages (english & “jenny-ese”)! dima i hardly ever see–he’s staying w/some neighbors.

I keep a practice log for music therapy, & thought I’d share these notes from it:

Friday, 12/20–Our 1st full day w/Maya (our Ukranian visitor who barely speaks English)—both of us seem to have improved w/our English skills, & she seems to understand me!

Sat., 12/21–I told Maya that she looked “beautiful”, & she totally understood me!

Mon., 12/23— Today was the 1st day I had to use google translate w/Maya

Christmas Eve, I saw a friend who hasn’t seen me in a year. Last time she saw me, I could vocalize & say things like “ah”, but that was it. That particular day was a very good speaking day, so I’d answer her questions w/words & short sentences. She did quite well at understanding me, & was almost in tears that we were TALKING, & loved telling people, “did u know she can talk?!?”

this month, we celebrated the birth of Christ. Why is that birth so important? the answer is in John 3: 16, which says: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Recently (ironically on Christmas Morning), I had an experience that had me marvel at the Christlike behavior I saw, & I thought: did Christ not also sacrifice himself 4 me? It seems a sacrifice worth remembering, & the best way to honor that sacrifice is to do what that sacrifice was for: repent & change.

For me, part of my changing requires me to return to no signing days. No signing days stopped over the summer w/the family when Dima & Maya came (though I still did it Wed. mornings w/Angie, until very recently).

I’ve been to chicken to do this, & I keep brushing aside: “While no signing days have been helpful for me to re-learn speech, there is another benefit, & it will help me in other ways as well.” Even though my speech is like 100 times better, i am scared & terrified of doing no signing days again, & I’ve been justifying it, by thinking, “Well, I often speak the majority of any day now, & only sign when I HAVE to, anyway!” But I’ll be upset if I don’t try it out, too, & it seems like it is precisely what I think I need, in order to grow the way I should!

What is a typical day for you?

“I have no job to go to or worry about, no house to keep up, no yard or van to maintain, no shopping for outfits to buy and take back, no toilets to clean, no food shopping or wonderful meals to prepare, no (quad) to endlessly care for and worry about, etc… it seems like my greatest stress in life is (choosing which audiobook or scriptures to listen to, which movie to watch on TV, responding to emails, scrapbooking the perfect page, or working on my current volunteer job at church). At those times, I feel sorry for everyone that isn’t a (quad)! You are all really missing out on something special!  Well, being a (quad) certainly does have a downside…”…(Jack Rushton—words in parenthesis added)  However, the biggest upside for me is to have been blessed by being married to a man like Mark! His typical day is insane! Now, his day would be fascinating to hear about, but I guess people are curious what I could possibly do:

 

I like to start each day w/”quiet time” (pray, think, ponder…).  A  dear friend explained “quiet time” like this:  “I wouldn’t wish my (condition) off onto any of you regardless of its many up sides, but what a blessing it has been to me in giving me the time to ponder, meditate, and pray. My spirit has been strengthened and my mind enriched as I have lain in bed, unable to move my body, but able to let my mind reach out to a loving and kind Heavenly Father, who through the Holy Ghost, has inspired and blessed me more than I could ever say.”  (Jack Rushton)

The beginning of the day also can include family prayer &/or personal scripture study.

 

Some days, I have someone who comes to help during the week.  She is scheduled to come for a few hours, several times a week, but that frequently changes!  She helps me exercise/do therapy–I try to get 1-3 hours of therapy Mon.-Sat.–I mostly do mostly physical  therapy the days at home, but I also do equine (horse) therapy, music therapy, my own “speech therapy”, & occasionally aquatic therapy.  She also helps me to do any odd jobs that a mother might do (I write her a list—sometimes it has jobs I can’t do, like “sweep my elevator floor”, & sometimes it’s finishing something I started, like hanging something I made & printed).  We also try to squeeze in some scrapbooking!  I try to be very structured with my time, so i can receive help from others.–Sometimes this means that I can’t go places w/the family when they/I want to go, cuz somone is scheduled to come help me!

 

When I am alone, I do stuff about the home (like any SAHM), I love to organize (& if it’s tactile, like organizing a drawer, this often lends towards good occupational therapy), I enjoy making schedules/lists, I burn CDs, I read & type emails or in my journal, I scrapbook (if I’m lucky!), I work on my current volunteer job at church, I read on my iPad (great therapy for my eyes) or listen to an audio book, I watch TV (I rarely do this, but sometimes I TIVO shows I can sing with), or I talk & visit w/a friend (this can be great speech therapy).

 

I also try to have a “date day” w/Mark (I may do horse or swim therapy, go out for lunch, see a movie, or just run errands w/him, or he may take me to get my hair done).  We try to hold FHE (Family Home Evening) once a week, & in the evenings, I try to hang out around the family the rest of the night, so my iPad has become like a laptop & texting phone! If the family watches a movie, I may do a therapy as we watch (ie. Lift weights, sit on a mat, bounce on a peanut ball w/mk, mk may help me stand, or I may just practice leaning forward in my chair)… I rarely do anything without finding a way to do therapy: For ex., in the shower, i may do toe or leg lifts…another ex. Is that as I lay on my bed & get dressed,

  1. I may count & do sit-ups,
  2. I may say the alphabet or say difficult words (they are easier to say laying down),
  3. Or I may do some breathing exercises from music therapy…

 

A UKRANIAN HOLIDAY TWIST

THOUGHT I’D SHARE: WE ARE PICKING UP MAYA (THE LITTLE GIRL, FROM THE UKRAINE, WHO SPENT THE SUMMER W/US) THIS WEEK. SOPH IS SUPER EXCITED! I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS THOUGH, CUZ I’M GOING TO MISS HER BROTHER DIMA…HE’LL BE HERE, BUT LONG STORY SHORT, IS STAYING W/ANOTHER FAMILY CLOSE BY, & I LOVED HIM!