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Busy a summer!

I’ve been busy this summer with several family affairs, & other things. It’s been quiet here now though, & I have time to type: All my kids have been in Utah (Soph was at ballroom dance camp, Jess was at EFY, & Zach is at summer school). However, they’ll all be back on Saturday–they fly back tonight, & they’re bringing a dog to join the family!

On Thursday, June 18, Zach left for summer term at college. (Yes, he’s coming home briefly before fall term begins!) When Mark flew with Zach to Utah (to set him up at BYU), I stayed home. Saying goodbye was like ripping off a band-aid, & besides the family being smaller, it seemed like we were fine. But we recently had our 1st family trip w/o him, & it just didn’t feel right w/o Zach, so we made him come out & briefly join us for a few days on our family reunion/50th wedding anniversary celebration in Hawaii!

The trip was a long flight, so I was worried, but the flight there was great: it had been broken up into 2 manageable flights, & for some reason, on the flight out, we had sleeping pods (those are usually for international flights.). It was a blessing that I could experience sleeping pods, cuz I found out I could lay completely flat, making an international flight a possibility! (Those pods are worth every penny to upgrade to 1st class!)

I was nervous about the 8-9 hour return flight not being broken up as well, & not having sleeping pods (Mark couldn’t find any), but we upgraded to 1st class, & since it was so late, I slept most of it, & since my chair was reclined for most of the flight, my butt was fine, & I never had to potty on the plane!

Anyway, these flights to Hawaii were the 1st flights in 11 years that I actually enjoyed. I’ve progressed enough that I can do minor shifts, & I can sorta’ help my ears when they hurt. Also, Mark’s been helping me learn to deal w/my anxiety, so I’m sure that helped me as well!

When Mark was in Utah w/o me (in June), I spoke to Mark on the phone! I’m not so good at it yet, so Sophie was there too, but I did it, & it was so awesome! Recently, my sister accidentally called me to wish me a Happy Birthday, & we actually carried on a short conversation! I was super tired when she called, so my speech wasn’t very clear, but we talked w/o anyone there, & w/o using my version of the morse code on the phone! Lately, I’ve had several good speaking days, & I have held several short conversations, & even introduced myself! It’s exciting!

I have also started to help clean up my house more: Starting in April, I began tidying up the kitchen, so this summer I have tried doing more this time. I have an OCD personality, so this was long over-due, & it feels good to be able to take pride in my home again!

JENNY’S STORY
    “WILL YOUR STORY AMOUNT TO THE NATURE OF STORIES & EMBRACE THE FACT THAT SHARING THE SAD ONES CAN SOMETIMES MAKE THEM HAPPY?” BY ABED NADIR FROM COMMUNITY

PRE-STROKE, A FRIEND SHOWED ME SOME JOKE ON THE BLUE COLLAR CO. DVD SHE HAD JUST BOUGHT, SO I KNEW I LIKED IT. I FINALLY TIVOED & SAW THE WHOLE THING.. I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT PART SHE SHOWED ME, BUT WHEN I SAW IT THIS TIME, I WAS LAUGHING HARD, UNTIL THE END, WHEN JEFF FOXWORTHY WAS TELLING ABOUT A GUY’S MOM, WHO HAD A STROKE…HE STARTED SAYING ALL THIS BAD STUFF (LIKE SHE CAN’T MOVE AA SIDE OF HER BODY & CAN’T TALK)–HE BASICALLY DESCRIBED ME–& THE PUNCHLINE WAS, “I’M KIDDING…SHE’S DEAD.”

NOW, I LAUGH ALL THE TIME WHEN FAMILY GUY DOES HANDICAPPED JOKES, BUT THIS WAS A BIT TOO PERSONAL…

SOMEONE IN MY YAHOO STROKE GROUP POINTED OUT THAT “AT TIMES, RECOVERY MAY SEEM LIKE IT’S NOT HAPPENING BUT IT IS. IT CAN’T BE MEASURED IN WEEKS OR MONTHS BUT YEARS.”

I REALIZE THIS, SO I CELEBRATE EVERY LITTLE THING…OTHERWISE, IT CAN BE DEPRESSING TO WATCH, SINCE IT JUST PROVES HOW FAR I STILL NEED 2 GO! BUT I REMEMBER HOW GRATEFUL I AM 2 BE ALIVE, SO I CAN RECOVER ANYTHING AT ALL—SOME ARE NOT AS FORTUNATE!

LUCKILY, MY HUSBAND VIDEO-TAPED ME DURING THE 1ST YEAR, THEN MADE A MOVIE. IT SHOWS MY PROGRESSION DURING THE 1ST 9 MONTHS, & EVEN NOW, I REFER 2 IT, SO I CAN REALLY C HOW FAR I’VE COME.

IN DEC. 2011, I WAS HELPING SOPH DO A BOOK REPORT, & HAD READ THE CHILDREN’S NOVEL IN PREPERATION…IT WAS CALLED “HOW TO STEAL A DOG.” THE LITTLE GIRL IN THE BOOK WAS VERY UPSET ABOUT HER LIFE: HER DAD LEFT, & HER, HER BROTHER, & HER MOM WERE NOW LIVING IN THEIR CAR. EVENTUALLY, THEY “UPGRADED” 2 A RUN-DOWN SHACK. NEEDLESS 2 SAY, THE LITTLE GIRL WAS VERY DEPRESSED & COULDN’T SEE A WORSE LOT IN LIFE.

IN 2004, BEING CONFINED 2 MY BED WAS AS APPEALING AS LIVING OUT OF A CAR WAS 4 THE GIRL IN THE BOOK. I’VE NOW “UPGRADED,” AND SOME CONSIDER ME LIKE A QUAD. IN A SENSE, I AM IN THE EQUIVALENT TO THE RUN-DOWN SHACK I GUESS THAT SHOULD DEPRESS ME, BUT I JUST SEE A “HOUSE” (AT LEAST THERE’S A ROOF OVER MY HEAD!), & AM GRATEFUL 4 WHAT I HAVE. SURE, IT’S NOT PERFECT, BUT I MANAGE QUITE WELL! & I CAN’T RECALL WHERE I HEARD THIS, OR WHO SAID IT, BUT “The beauty of it, is not knowing what comes next.”

IN OCT. 2007, I “SPOKE” AT AN INTERNATIONAL DOCTOR’S CONFERENCE, AFTER THEY SHOWED THE BELOW VIDEO. THE DOCTOR’S ASKED 4 A COPY OF THE VIDEO, & I WAS SUPPOSED 2 PUT IT ON YOU-TUBE (I FIGURE IT WAS REQUESTED 4 A SIMILAR REASON TO SOMETHING LIKE A QUOTE IN THE BOOK: “Sometimes the trail you leave behind you is more important than the path ahead of you.” By Mookie, from How to Steal a Dog), BUT I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW 2 PUT THE VIDEO ON YOU-TUBE (IT’S CALLED “JENNY’S STORY”)…HOPE I’M NOT TOO LATE (LOL) & HOPE I DID IT RIGHT SO IT CAN STAY, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF IT’LL STAY THERE, SO ENJOY IT WHILE U CAN!

PBA WEEK

THE OTHER WEEK WAS A PBA WEEK. I WAS ON THIN ICE ALREADY, AFTER MY COMP. VIRUS & FROM FIGHTING A "PITY PARTY," THEN HAVING 2 WAIT 4 OTHERS, WHICH ONLY I SAW THE URGENT-NESS & EVERY PASSING MINUTE COULD RESULT IN A LOST STUFF VALUABLE 2 ME!

USUALLY, I DO PRETTY WELL CONTROLLING IT, BUT THIS LAST WEEK, I WAS BOMBARDED BY STRONG ENOTIONS, & ANY EMOTION, BIG OE SMALL, CAUSES LAUGHTER OR TEARS. MY WORLD CAN APPEAR SHATTERED, & I'M FINE, PROUD, OR SHOWING RELIEF. IF I'M SOOTHED, IT CAN ME CAN MAKE IT WORSE, AS TEARS OF EMBARRASSMENT R SHED. MARK KNOWS THIS ALL 2 WELL, & PROB. APPEARS HEARTLESS AT TIMES, AS HE SEEMS 2 LET ME WORK IT OUT ALONE, THOUGH I ACTUALLY APPRECIATE IT. BY GOING AGAINST HUMAN NATURE 2 SOOTHE UNCONTROLLED LAUGHTER OR TEARS, HE'S ACTUALLY HELPING ME!

BUT SOMETIMES THE OUTCOME DOESN'T PORTRAY HOW I FEEL. (LIKE, I CAN BE FURIOUS, BUT C A SMILE THAT TRIGGERS A LAUGH, WHICH CAN BE VERY FRUSTRATING!) I SEEN AN EASY EMOTIONAL TARGET 2 READ, UNTIL THIS HAPPENS!

I THINK THE FACT I CAN VISUALIZE SOMETHING, EVEN IF IT HASN'T HAPPENED, CAN MAKE MY PBA WORSE. IT ALSO HELPS 2 "PREP" 4 IT.

SO, HERE'S A VERY SMALL AMOUNT OF TRIGGERS, RECENTLY:

1. I HAD A CLUE IT WOULD HAPPEN—IT'S BEEN SO LONG—BUT NO IDEA WHEN IT'D HAPPEN: I WAS FINALLY RELEASED FROM MY CALLING AT CHURCH! FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS, I HAVE BEEN AN ASST. ACTIVITY DAY LEADER (I PLANNED & DID A MID-WEEK ACTIVITY 2X/MONTH 4 GIRLS WHO R 8 & 9 YEARS OLD, IN MY CASE–THOUGH IT STARTED 8-12 YEARS OLD). NOW, I’M WARD HISTORIAN, WHATEVER THAT MEANS! THEY EXPLAINED STUFF, BUT THE CALLING IS NEW 2 ME…I KNOW THE GIST (TAKE A BUNCH OF PICTURES, USE SCRAPBOOKING (MAYBE), USE R WARD WEBSITE, KEEP A RECORD OF LOTS—..), BUT HOW? I PREFER NOT 2 ATTEND ACTIVITIES (I CAN’T BE SOCIAL OR PARTICIPATE & JUST SIT IF THEY EAT), & I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHO’S EVEN IN R WARD, LET ALONE CHANGES IN CALLINGS!…

THE GOOD THING IS I NOW HAVE SOMETHING 2 DO AT ACTIVITIES (TAKE PICS, BUT I NEED A HORN OR SOMETHING IF STOOD IN FRONT OF) & MARK IS WARD CLERK, SO HE KNOWS STUFF I’M CLUELESS ABOUT.

2. 8/8 WAS MY B-DAY. B4 MY STROKE I WAS A CAKE DECORATOR. MARK HAS KEPT THAT ALIVE & REALLY DEVELOPED THAT TALENT. EVEN IF I WAS WELL, I'LL ADMIT I COULDN'T MAKE THAT CAKE, AS IT USED A WOOD STAND (SO HE HAD 2 USE HIS WOODWORKING TALENT, WHICH I NEVER HAD!)

I LOVE DR. SEUESS, SO THERE WAS A DR. SEUESS THEME. EVER READ THE CAT IN THE HAT? ALL THESE CRAZY "THINGS" COME OUT THE HAT. I WAS THE CAT. THANKS 2 SHIRTS BOUGHT AT R REUNION, ALL NIECES & NEPHEWS WERE "THINGS."

3. 8/9—MY FRIENDS GAVE ME A SURPRISE B-DAY PARTY. I WAS REALLY SURPRISED! TURNED , SINCE I'D HAD COMPUTER PROBLEMS & HAVE ISOLATED MYSELF (WHICH I STILL SHOULD, BUT CAN’T HANDLE MORE). I WAS WAITING 4 A BACK-UP THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE AT 6 PM, BUT TOOK ALL NITE. PLUS, I NEEDED IT–I WAS GRUMPY ON MY B-DAY.

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OPRAH

A REMINDER 2 EMAIL OPRAH 2DAY. IF U MISS 12-1 PM, DON’T WORRY-I BET ANYTIME 2DAY IS GOOD! IF U LOOK 2 THE RT. OF MY WEBPAGE, UNDER “SPECIALS,” U WILL FIND THE ORIGINAL LETTER FROM MY YAHOO SUPPORT GROUP. IN IT IS A LETTER 2 OPRAH U CAN CUT & PASTE (I DID!) & LINKS 2 EMAIL HER. IF IT WAS EASY 4 ME, IT IS 4 U!