Jenny has had a bitter sweet past couple of days. There were a bunch of great things that have happened. My father finally came out to stay with us for a while. His goals, aside from helping with Jenny, were to teach the kids to ride bikes without training wheels. That took about 10 minutes before they were both darting around like they had been riding this way all summer. It took another 10 minutes before Jessie was stunt riding and trying tricks. Zach started piano lessons and was able to learn his first little song that he played for Jenny and I. These were the good parts that Jenny admitted were things she felt that made all the things she went through well worth it.

The bitter part was when the kids would crash in front of her and she could not do a thing even though they lay hurt just a few feet away. She so much wanted to let Zach know how proud she was about his piano and to give him a long hug and kiss. Even though I was quick to tell the kids that mom was so proud of them, she indicated it was not the same as holding them in her arms and her own voice telling them what she felt. Sophia was choking yesterday and later wanted to be held and comforted, and it was the same type of result. Sophie was asked if she wanted to sit in mom’s lap (Jenny was crying because she so wanted to comfort Sophie), but Sophie refused- which happens occasionally. I finally convinced Sophie, but it is just another example of the many heart breaks Jenny experiences on a daily basis.

As for Jenny’s health, she is getting much stronger. She sits longer and with less pain when on the floor. We do more standing exercises where I help support her or she stands on a tilt table. I sat Jenny in front of the piano. I could see her right hand trying so hard to push with enough force to make sounds. The keys moved, but not with enough behind it to strike the chords. She wanted to sit longer and try more. I was so proud of her and her increased desire lately. I think she hides it if things hurt during exercises. I keep asking and she tells me that she is fine. Hopefully, she really is doing well enough that these exercises do not hurt.

The past few days have been wonderful as Jenny and I have had more time alone and with the kids. I am impressed that she has been able to support herself in a sitting position (legs crossed and arms supporting her upper body) while on the floor. Like many other things, she could not do it this well just a short while ago. Jenny has enjoyed being able to go to the back to school nights for Zach and Jessie, but it is with mixed emotions. She has always enjoyed being a parent volunteer at school (when not a teacher herself) and it is hard to not be as involved as she would like to be. She also struggles with the fact that she has little control of her emotions, so she will either laugh or cry without the ability to control it. I know she is self conscious about it and I will see her laugh at something (that most people would chuckle about in their head) and then she will turn to tears because she knows it is not a situationally appropriate emotion.

We had a visit by my Aunt Janice and Uncle Ron, from Utah. It was great to see them and these visits are always a positive thing for Jenny’s morale. Anyhow, I guess the kids have been surrounded with so many relatives in the past few months that are new to them, or have not seen in a while that they simply just catigorize them in three groups. Children are in the cousin group. Adults in our age range are aunts and uncles, and those who are my parents age are grandparents. Ron and Janice were called grandma and grampa. Every now and then, children of our friends from out of town end up being lumped into the cousin category as well. Either way, the kids love their big family.

For the first time, Jenny may have had a good day that she admitted to. Usually, I need to be careful how I ask her things. If I ask if she feels good today, she will reply, “No”. If I ask if she is having a normal day she will usually say yes. I am not sure what a good day would be defined as, but I think it would involve speech and more voluntary movement. As for her good day, she spelled out, “Thanks for today” which the day was a good day. We had a great family night activity playing our favorite “bowling” game and Jenny ate a bunch of good foods like pizza, root beer and brownies. Obvioulsy, the food was cut small for her, but it tasted good. I also did not make her work too hard in therapies, and she had new movements in her left leg. We snuggled on the couch for a while and just enjoyed being together as a family. I’ll take “thanks for today” as a good sign.

Today marks the 5th month since Jenny’s stroke. I am very pleased with her progress compared to what I had imagined things to be like 5 months ago. We continue to find new ways to utilize Jenny’s movements. Two days ago, I supported her arm while Jenny wrote words by moving her hand that had a marker taped in it. She would write a letter, pause, and I would move the paper over for the next letter. That worked out, so we played our favorite game again (MasterMind), but this time Jenny would point to the colors as I supported her arm. Last night, I took it a step farther and I put a 3/8 inch diameter dowel rod in her hand (which she held by herself) and she pointed to letters on a letter board. It was so much faster and easier to communicate. Instead of sentences, she spelled paragraphs.

I also had an early morning thought that turned out to be a good idea. I had been frustrated by the fact that Jenny could not take advantage of showers now that her trache is out since out bathroom addition would not be done for at least another month. The idea came into my mind that her showerchair might fit into our master shower/bath upstairs since Jenny demanded that the builders put in an oval tub. Sure enough, it fit perfect! I carried Jenny upstairs to surprise her with her first real shower in 5 months. Usually we wash her hair with a basin and cups of water. This time, she sat under the shower and let the water flow through her hair and over her body. For the first time, her hair looked clean and Jenny cries with happy tears the whole time. Melissa and Dustin left for California yesterday and we will really miss them. It made things easier and they made our lives more entertaining and uplifting. The kids miss them so much already. My mom is now with us and she does a great job and cooks like none else.

Jenny is still doing great with not having a trache. Our theapies are more aggressive since we are not limited to doing activities that will not aggitate her throat. I gave her her favorite choking food (rice), at her request, and she does a great job coughing it back up. She eats other foods much better though. We have not been doing water therapy while the neck heals and I see how much it has helped her. Jenny has a tiny hole in her neck right now, and I assume it will be totally closed up by a week from the removal date.

At his moment, Jenny is birthday clothes shopping with her sister. As a matter of fact, Jenny pretty much wants to go somehwere any time she has the chance. We have a great routine now where we get ready, do therapies, relax and cuddle on the couch as we watch a movie or tv show, Jenny tries to get me to go someplace with her (and demands that I lift her into the front seat), therapies, eat a lunch of pasta, read together, do more therapies, and get ready for bed. All the while we do med stuff, interact/play with the kids, and clean up our huge messes. At this moment, our home is in disarray while we get an addition placed on. Anyhow, things are looking good despite some setbacks.

Jenny has complained that her eye sight is bothering her again and her left side is not as active as it was, but her right side continues to get stronger and she has much bigger movements.