NOT REALLY, UNTIL I WAS ON THE HORSE. THEN, I WAS SCARED OF A FEW THINGS
1. IT IS A BIT SCARY AT THE END–I HATE ONLY HAVING 1 ARM TO BALANCE ME, & I WAS SO WOBBLY BY THE END, IT REALLY MADE ME WORK HARD! JUST THE PLACEMENT OF MY HEAD COULD THROW OFF MY BALANCE, BUT MY THERAPIST SENSED THAT I WAS GETTING WEAK, & HAD A FIRM GRASP ON ME
2. WHAT IF I SNEEZED? MY SNEEZES ARE VIOLENT, LUNGING ME FORWARD…I HAVE SNEEZED MYSELF OFF OF THE TOILET!
3. THERE’S ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY OF THE HORSE SPOOKING…THX GOODNESS MY THERAPIST IS REALLY STRONG, & PEOPLE ARE ALL AROUND ME! OBVIOUSLY, THEY HAVE TAKEN THE NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS FOR THAT!

TO GET ON, THE HORSE WAS BY A RAMP WHICH I STOOD ON & TOOK A FEW STEPS (WITH HELP) TOWARDS THE HORSE. THE LAST FEW MONTHS I’VE MADE A FEW PROGRESSIONS THAT I THINK MADE IT POSSIBLE:
1. I’VE BEEN USING AN AB BELT & STRENGTHENING MY CORE (AN AB BELT IS BASICALLY AN E-STIM MACHINE: http://www.slendertone.com)
2, I HAVE A TILT TABLE, & CAN NOW DO KNEE BENDS ALONE WHEN I STAND ON IT
3. I AM STRONGER (I SIT & LIFT WEIGHTS IN MY CHAIR–I STARTED WITH 1 LB., & IT WAS SUPER HEAVY, BUT NOW IT’S SO LIGHT, & I CAN NOW LIFT A WHOLE 3 LBS.)., & CAN SUPPORT MYSELF SITTING.

PLUS, MY THERAPIST IS REALLY STRONG, WHICH MADE ME FEEL SAFER…IT’S SURPRISENING HOW STRONG SHE IS, CUZ I ACTUALLY CAME BACK EARLY, CUZ I WAS GETTING TIRED, & WAS AFRAID I COULDN’T LAST MUCH LONGER, & WHEN WE GOT BACK, I WAS EXHAUSTED, & I BUCKLED WHEN I CAME OFF THE HORSE, & COULDN’T STAND FOR A MINUTE, BUT SHE DID SO WELL AT SUPPORTING MY WEIGHT, & HELPING ME STAND BACK UP!

I HAD DOUBLE VISION BAD ALMOST 10 YEARS AGO. I STILL HAVE IT, BUT IT’S NOW VERY MANAGEABLE. IN THE LAST YEAR, I’VE STARTED READING SIZE 10 FONT ON MY HUGE MONITER, & I CAN USE A MINI IPAD.

IN THE HOSPITAL, THEY TRIED A PATCH, & TRIED TAPING THE LENS OF MY GLASSES ON THE GOOD EYE, BUT I THREW A HUGE FIT! I ONLY DID EYE EXERCISES ON OCCASION (& I STILL DO) S IF I WAS BORED, & LAYING IN BED, WAITING 2 GET UP: I’D TRY TO LOOK AT THE 4 CORNERS ON THE CEILING, IN VERTICAL, HORIZONTAL, & DIAGONAL PATTERN.S

HOWEVER, I BARELY EVER WATCH TV, & I READ ALL DAY. I READ EMAIL TONS, & MY EYES GET WORSE IF I DON’T READ DAILY. AT 1ST, EMAILS WERE WRITTEN TO ME IN SIZE 36 FONT, & I SAW THEM EVEN BIGGER, CUZ MY COMPUTER MONITER IS A 42 INCH LCD. SMALL TYPE EMAILS WERE READ 2 ME UNTIL A FRIEND INTRODUCED ME TO “READPLEASE 2003” (I’D LOVE TO FIND A MORE CURRENT PROGRAM OUT THERE!) NOW I CAN READ MUCH SMALLER FONT, & EVEN READ BOOKS ON MY MINI IPAD.

HECK, YES! IT NEVER GETS EASIER TO NEED IT, BUT THERE IS A KIND OF ACCEPTANCE (LIKE I KNOW I CAN’T POTTY MYSELF, SO ASKING FOR HELP IS JUST WHAT I HAVE TO DO. BUT EVEN W/MY HUSBAND (WHO HAS POTTIED ME PROBABLY 13, 628+ TIMES ),I STILL WAIT UNTIL THE LAST SECOND TO GO–I HATE INTERRUPTING PEOPLE IN THEIR CONVERSATIONS/ACTIVITIES TO TAKE ME!

PLUS, I AM VERY INDEPENDENT, & OFTEN REFUSE HELP WHEN IT’S NEEDED. SOMETIMES THAT HAS BEEN GOOD: THERE ARE MANY THINGS I DO NOW, BECAUSE I REFUSED HELP. THAT’S WHERE THE “RESILIENCE” (THOUGH I JUST THINK I’M STUBBORN!) KICKS IN…4 EX., I CAN NOW GET MYSELF CERTAIN FOODS, OPEN THE CONTAINERS & FEED MYSELF. WHY? BEFORE IT WAS GIVEN TO ME, OPENED 4 ME, & FED 2 ME. I COULD STILL HAVE IT DONE THAT WAY. BUT 1 DAY, I REFUSED HELP & I KEPT REFUSING PERIODICALLY, UNTIL THERE WAS SUCCESS…

SINCE I SHARE THE HELP TIME I GET W/A TODDLER, I THINK THAT A LOT OF MY RECENT PROGRESS HAS 2 DO W/THE FACT THAT I DON’T HAVE SOME1 DOTING (SP?) OVER ME ALL THE TIME, SO I GET THE CHANCE 2 DO STUFF. PLUS, I AM OFTEN ENCOURAGED 2 TALK BY HIM!

BUT THE KEY IS KNOWING WHEN TO GIVE IN… WHEN I WAS LEARNING, 4 ME, THE KEY WAS IF I STARTED FEELING FRUSTRATED, THEN IT’S TIME TO QUIT & TRY AGAIN NEXT TIME. IF I MANAGED 2 GET TO WHERE I WAS UPSET BECUZ NO1 OFFERED HELP, OR IF I FELT IMPATIENT (I.E. I THOUGHT, “I JUST WANT TO EAT!”), THEN I HAD WAITED TOO LONG TO ASK 4 HELP.