Recovery

HUMOR

Happy National Scrapbook Day!

Elder Eyring FROM THE LDS (MORMON) CHURCH says, "Humor is the key to endurance." I BELIEVE THAT 2 BE TRUE.

4 EX., IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, I LAUGH & FIND HUMOR IN IT (IT CAN BE HARD, THOUGH, 2 HEAR ME LAUGHM IF U R UPSET)! I ALSO LAUGH WHEN I NEED STRENGTH (LIKE 2 RAISE A WEAK ARM 4 THE ELEVATOR BUTTON, OR 2 GET MY FOOT ON A FOOTREST). WHEN I CRY FROM PBA, OFTEN, I TURN IT INTO A LAUGH 2 STOP—IF U NOTICE, I'VE SURROUNDED MYSELF BY THOSE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH.

WHEN I DO TILT TABLE, I LIKE ENTERTAINMENT SOMEHOW. (I STAND IN 1 PLACE, STRAPPED 2 A BOARD FOR 30 -50 MIN.—THINK OF IT AS IF U CHOOSE 2 STAND IN 1 PLACE & CAN DO NOTHING—SO IF A NEARBY TV IS OFF, IT STAYS OFF.) OFTEN, I WATCH THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, SINCE I CAN LAUGH & ENDURE THERAPY.

WED., I WAS ALARMED 2 C ELLEN ON STAGE, IN A HOSPITAL BED, STILL HOSTING HER SHOW, WHILE ON BEDREST IN A HOSPITAL BED—SPEAK OF "Humor is the key to endurance!" HOW I ADMIRED HER! I DON'T THINK II'VE EVER LAUGHED SO MUCH AT HER SHOW—IT HELPED SHE WAS JOKING WITH WHAT I DAILY DEAL WITH! HERE SHE WAS ON BED REST, MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH! MY TILT TABLE TIME WENT FASTER AS SHE MADE A POSSIBLY BAD SITUATION FUN. SHE FOUND WAYS 2 FIND WHAT WAS GOOD (LIKE STARS WERE INTERVIEWED IN ANOTHER BED, INSTEAD OF A CHAIR, SO NEXT WEEK'S PREVIEWS, SHE STATES SHE'S IN BED W/BON JOVI!)

MY PARALYSED FRIEND, A FELLOW MORMON, SAID, "It seems to me that the thing that makes the difference in being either hardened or softened by life’s experiences shared by so many, is faith in Christ, and the revelation of the truth and comforting assurance that comes to us through the Holy Ghost, as well as a sure knowledge as to where we came from, why we are here on earth, and what our ultimate destiny is as sons and daughters of God." I AGREE, BUT ADD THAT "Humor is the key to endurance."

HELP

IT'S AMAZING WHAT I CAN DO WHEN NO1 IS THERE 2 FALL BACK ON! OFTEN I FAIL, BUT W/EACH DAY, I GET STRONGER, SMARTER ABOUT MY CAPABILITIES, & MORE CREATIVE!

LAST WED., I WAS TRYING 2 REACH REAL FAR 2 GET A REMOTE, 4 THE TV, OFF MY BED. I GOT IT, BUT TILTED SO FAR TO THE RT., I WAS FALLING, YET STUCK THERE. THIS ISN'T NEW. ONCE, I TRIED 2 THROW TRASH AWAY (MARK WAS UPSTAIRS & I WAS DOWNSTAIRS) & I TILTED LIKE THIS (USUALLY, I FEEL IT HAPPENING & STOP, BUT I WAS PUSHING MY LUCK THIS TIME)—I HAD 2 FINALLY STOP TRYING 2 SIT MYSELF UPRIGHT & RESIGN 2 SOMEHOW REACH MY WIRELESS DOORBELL 2 RING MARK 4 HELP. BUT WED. I PUT THE REMOTE ON MY LAP & SAT MYSELF BACK UPRIGHT! THIS WAS ESP. AMAZING BECAUSE I WAS SITTING 2 FAR 2 THE LT. BUT FOUGHT THE NATURAL INCLINATION THAT CAUSES ME 2 FALL 2 MY RT.!

AFTER THAT, I HAD A PERSONAL VICTORY! I'M CONSTANTLY BENDING OVER 2 GET STUFF FROM THE FLOOR, EVEN THOUGH IT'S ABSURD—I'VE NEVER BEEN FLEXIBLE ENOUGH 2 REACH MUCH PAST MY FEET! BESIDES, IF I REACH IT, CAN I LIFT IT, WHEN A 1 POUND WEIGHT IS TOUGH?!? WED., MY REMOTE DROPPED ONTO MY FOOTREST. I COULD REACH SINCE I HAVE NEW TRICKS 2 BEND OVER (SOME WOULD ARGUE I "CHEAT"), BUT I WONDERED IF I WAS I STRONG ENOUGH 2 PICK IT UP? I WAS!

THURS., DESPITE DISLIKING OUTDOORS,I WAS DESPERATELY TRYING 2 C JESS PLAY SOFTBALL (REME,BER ABOUT MY EYES:I HAVE NO CLUE WHY, BUT IT'S HARD 2 DIFFERENTIATE GROUPS. 4 EX., ZACH LOVES LUBY'S (CAFETERIA STYLE FOOD). I CAN ONLY PICK OUT WHAT I WANT IF I'M TOLD WHAT'S THERE/) FIA WAS ON MY LAP, & BUMPED MY SUNGLASSES. IN TRYING 2 FIX THEM, THEY FELL OFF, BUT R VITAL 2 OPENING MY EYES IN NATURAL LIGHT. I TRIED SEVERAL TIMES W/NO LUCK—CHEAP SUNGLASSES DON'T STAY OPEN. I SUCCOMENDED 4 HELP, BUT HELP WAS BUSY, SO I TRIED SEVERAL MORE TIMES, & FINALLY GOT MY SUNGLASSES ON ALONE!

HUMAN NATURE IS 2 HELP SOME1 LIKE ME. OTHERWISE WE MAY MAKE AWFUL SOUNDS & FACES TRYING. BUT IT'S VITAL 2 TRY, EVEN IF WE R SLOW &/OR FAIL. RATHER THAN JUST GIVE HELP OR DO IT BECAUSE U R OBVIOUSLY FASTER, I KNOW I SOMETIMES LIKE 2 TRY & THEN HAVE AN OFFER &/OR BE ASKEDIF I WANT 2 HAVE HAVE HELP.

FRI. THE 13TH

13 IS 1 OF MY FAV. #'S BECAUSE, ALTHOUGH MANY FEAR 13 AS "BAD LUCK," MY BEST DAYS R USUALLY FRI. THE 13TH!

SO GUESS WHAT HAPPENED? I FED MYSELF BACON, & FIA (SOPHIA) FED ME SCRAMBLED EGGS! FIA WAS SO PLEASED 2 FEED ME—SHE OFTEN TRIES 2 WITH SMALL FINGER FOODS I CAN SWALLOW, BUT THIS WAS A 1ST W/A UTENSIL & A PAPER TOWEL "BIB." & I HAVE FED MYSELF W/MY ARM SUPPORT OR SOMETIMES, LATELY, I CAN RAISE MY ARM 4 A FEW BITES, BUT 2 CONSISTENTLY DO IT W/O LONG PAUSES 2 BUILD UP STRENGTH, IS A BIG DEAL. I ADMIT THAT SINCE I NEED 2 TILT BACK 2 SWALLOW, IT HELPED ME CHEAT 2 RAISE MY ARM. LOL

MY KIDS HAVE REALLY ADJUSTED WELL 2 ME AFTER MY STROKE, BUT IT'S INTERESTING 2 C THEIR DIFFERENCES:

ZACH LOVES 2 BE MY MOUTH & HELP DISCIPLINE THE GIRLS. I'LL NEVER 4GET THE TOUCHING MOMENT AS I HEARD HIM, IN INDY, LEARNING ASL AT BREAKFAST. WE WERE ALWAYS CLOSE, SO IT MEANT A LOT HE WANTED 2 COMMUNICATE. WHEN I'VE JUST SAT AS THE KIDS HAVE PLAYED GAMES, HE COMMENTS HOW "IT'S LIKE THE OLD DAYS." HE COMMENTS ABOUT A B-DAY CAKE I MADE PRE-STROKKE THAT'S BECOME IMMORTALIZED OR HOW FUN IT WAS WHEN I WAS HIS CHURCH PRIMARY CHORISTER IN INDY. BUT HE WON'T FEED ME. THE ONLY EXCEPTION WAS 1 SACRAMENT, & I COULD TELL HE FELT AWKWARD. IT MUST SEEM 2 WEIRD 4 HIM 2 FEED AN ADULT!

NEXT IS JESS. SHE'S INTERESTING. LIKE ZACH, SHE RECALLS & COMMENTS ON STUFF PRE-STROKE, BUT MORE ACCEPTING OF THINGS NOW. SHE'S FED ME. SHE LOVES COMMUNICATING IN TYPE OR TRIES VIA ASL. JESS IS HIT OR MISS ON LOTS OF THINGS, BUT SHE IS ADJUSTING & PICKING UP ON MORE THINGS 4 ME NOW. I KNOW WHEN I WAS 1ST HOME, SHE SPENT HOURS W/ME W/O ME TALKING.

THEN THERE'S FIA. SHE'S COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF THINGS NOW. IN FACT, SHE LONGS 2 BE IN HER DAD'S ROLE, SINCE SHE DOESN'T RECALL ME PRE-STROKE, &, LIKE ALL KIDS WHO IDOLIZE A PARENT, WANTS 2 DO WHAT DAD DOES! FEEDING ME, SHE COMMENTED ABOUT FEEDING ME LOTS WHEN SHE'S OLDER. FIA IS MY BIGGEST CHEERLEADER—SHE GETS EXCITED ABOUT EVERY NEW LITTLE THING I DO. SHE WANTS ME 2 BE HER HERO—I PLAY WITH HER 4 HOURS, COMFORT HER, & MY BELL RINGING (HOW I SPEAK & DISCIPLINE) TRUELY SCARES HER. SHE KNOWS HOW 2 INTERACT W/ME W/O ME TALKING & GUESSES MY WORDS. SHE NOTICES SMALL THINGS, LIKE MY LEFT FOOT OFF OF THE FOOTREST.

IN COLLEGE, I LEARNED THE 1ST 5 YRS. R VITAL 4 A CHILD. IT CAN HURT FIA REMEMBERS NOTHING I DID, BUT THAT CLEAN SLATE HELPS HER UNDERSTAND ME NOW. LIKE THE OTHERS, SHE HAD "ME" THERE 4 THE 1ST 2 YEARS. ZACH 7 JESS R GREAT KIDS WHO PROVIDE A MALE & FEMALE PERSPECTIVE & WHO CAN CARRY ON THINGS I TAUGHT THEM FOR 6 ½ YRS. I HAVE ALSO HAD IT POINTED OUT THAT THE QUANITY OF TIME I SPEND W/FIA DIFFERS W/THAT OF ZACH & JESS. I SIT THERE WHILE SHE PLAYS ON MY COMPUTER, INSTEAD OF LEAVING. I AM HER PLAY COMPANION—2DAY I GOT "MADE UP" COMPLETE W/ REAL LIP GLOSS! USUALLY "PLAY TIME" INVOLVES EATING FAKE FOOD.

1 THING IN COMMON: I'M MAY NOT BE A TRADITIONAL MOM, BUT STILL AM MOM. MY KIDS PUSH ME—I WON'T LIE—THERE R DAYS I FEEL DONE TRYING, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THINGS LIKE A CARD FROM ZACH 2 KEEP EXERCISING, OR A WISH 2 SANTA THAT I CAN WALK. I LOVE 2 HEAR ANY 3 CALL ME "MOM." I LOVE THAT I HEAR "GOOD" IN RESPONSE 2 A "YES," WHEN THE KIDS HEAD OUT 2 A SPORT'S GAME OR SCHOOL FUNCTION & ASK, "IS MOM COMING?"

PBA
    AN EDUCATIONAL MOMENT:

I HAVE A STROKE-RELATED CONDITION CALLED PBA (AS EXPLAINED AT http://www.pseudobulbar.com/ & ALSO CALLED PSEUDOBULBAR AFFECT, PATHOLOGICAL LAUGHING AND CRYING, EMOTIONAL LABILITY, OR EMOTIONAL INCONTINENCE). IT'S A RESULT OF THE STROKE, BUT NOT STROKE-RELATED. IT EXPLAINS WHY I CAN'T CONTROL MY LAUGHING/CRYING, & IF I HAVE ANY SMALL EMOTION, IT'S AMPLIFIED.

      TEARS/LAUGHTER R NOT ALWAYS PROPORTIONAL 2 HOW I FEEL.

        4 EX., I CAN LAUGH/CRY WHEN I FEEL NOTHING OR DO NOT LAUGH/CRY WHEN I WANT. ANOTHER EX. IS THAT IFI MENTALLY KNOW IT'S STUPID 2 REACT, I MAY STILL LAUGH/CRY. YET ANOTHER EX. IS I CAN LAUGH WHEN I WANT 2 CRY, & VICE VERSA. PBA IS A HUGE PART OF MY DAILY LIFE & INTERFERES W/SOOO MUCH, BUT I IMAGINE IT'S ALSO HARD 4 MY FAMILY BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN IF THE EMOTION IS REAL! (IMAGINE GETTING HURT, & I LAUGH!) THE WORDS "I UNDERSTAND" R MEANT 2 EMPATHIIZE, BUT CAN BE FRUSTRATING BECAUSE EVEN I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!

        WHEN I AM MADE 2 CRY LOUD, LIKE I WOULD W/PUBLIC SPEAKING, I CAN'T SIGN OR THINK CLEARLY. I DON'T THINK LIKE I AM USED 2 THINKING–WORDS R OFTEN LOST & IT'S NOT UNTIL LATER THAT I CAN SAY WHAT I THINK. MY MEMORY'S ALSO WORSE, SO I CAN'T TYPE & RECALL WHAT I WROTE. I PREFER 2 TYPE & LEAVE WHILE IT'S READ–NOT 2 "HIDE," BUT SO IT'S HEARD (SINCE I'M SO LOUD).

        WHEN I DO SPEAK, PEOPLE EXPECT GREATNESS, BUT AS I SAID PREVIOUSLY, WORDS R HARDER 2 THINK OF NOW. I’M NOT ELOQUIENT…NEVER WAS B4! PRESIDENT THOMAS S. MONSON, IN THE LDS (MORMON) 1ST PRESIDENCY OF THE CHURCH, SAID: “You can share—in many ways—by the words you speak, by the example you set, by the manner in which you live your life.” I DO IT BY HOW I LIVE &/OR EXAMPLE.

        WHEN I SIGN AT HOME, THEY R SHORT, CONSISTING OF 2-3 SENTENCES. THEY HAVE 2 BE SHORT. I CAN’T SIGN WHAT I’D TYPE–PEOPLE CAN’T LISTEN THAT LONG (AS I SLOWLY FINGERRSPELL OUT SENTENCES). ALSO, WHAT I SAY IS VERY GENERIC. HAS 2 BE, SO I CAN SOMEWHAT CONTROL MY PBA. IT'S A REAL DILEMNA!

        IN CHURCH (U'LL UNDERSTAND IF U R LDS), MARK HAS OFFERED 2 TRANSLATE MY ASL IF I WANT 2 BEAR MY TESTIMONY, BUT PEOPLE WHO DO IT, DO IT BECAUSE THE SPIRIT SAYS 2 DO IT & GUIDES WHAT 2 SAY. I HAVE 2 PUT UP A WALL, BECAUSE OF PBA, SO I DON’T GET THATDESIRE OR GUIDANCE. USUALLY, IF I ALLOW THE SPIRIT 2 BE THERE, I CRY & HOWL LIKE NO1 IMAGINES (I CALL IT MY “PBA-FEST”), SO MARK MAY NOT BE HEARD, & THE PRIDE I HAVE IS DAMAGED THROUGH EMBARRASSMENT (I RARELY ALLOW IT BECAUSE I HATE 2 BE SUCH A SPEKTLE)!

FRI.

MARK WAS THRILLED ABOUT SOMETHING & ONLY A MALE WOULD TRULY UNDERSTAND. THEY WERE ALL WORKING. THE 1 HE REACHED, HE HAD 2 CALL AGAIN & AGAIN-I’M GUESSING A BAD PHONE CONNECTION. HE HAD NO1 HE COULD TELL! I LAUGHED SOOO HARD! ‘WELCOME 2 MY WORLD!’ CALL ME MEAN-LAUGHING AT HIS PAIN-BUT I DEAL W/IT DAILY, & WAS ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED HE HAD A MINISCULE TASTE OF MY LIFE-ONLY I’VE BECOME ACCUSTOMED 2 IT! I REMEMBER HOW FRUSTRATED I WAS THE 1ST TIME, B4 I EVEN KNEW HOW 2 BLINK SPELL!
EVENTUALLY, THE CALL WORKED, & HE SHARED. LIKEWISE, I EVENTUALLY COULD SEND EMAILS & TYPE ON THIS WEBSITE, BUT THE FLEETING FEELING HE HAD, HAD SERVED MONTHS OF MY LIFE. NOW I HAVE A NEW PROBLEM: MANY THOUGHTS I HAVE R NOT SHARED, BECAUSE MY 1 FINGER CAN NOT TYPE FAST ENOUGH.
1 LAST THING:

A story at ABCNEWS.

I HAVE YET 2 READ IT (I NEED LARGE FONT, & COPIED IT, BUT IT HAS YET 2 BE ENLARGED & I READ SLOW, SO I NEED A HUGE CHUNK OF TIME), BUT HEARD ABOUT IT.