Easter day was good and bad. The kids came to the hospital dressed in Easter dress which Jenny picked out, in part, after her stroke. Jenny appeared to be feeling better. Jenny’s brother (Steve) hooked up the hospital tv so it can play video recorded on the camcorder. In using this same concept, it displays what is being taped if the camcorder is hooked up while taping. Since Jenny lacks the ability to move her head or horizontal eyes gaze, the camcorder moved around for her as the kids excitedly opened easter baskets. Jenny could see all the action by just watching the TV screen. The kids were less anxious around her and even Jessie crawled in bed next to her until we left. Jenny was able to laugh, which the kids and my mom saw this for the first time.

As for the bad (which better put would be “difficult”), it was related to the emotional roller coaster of seeing friends at church for the first time since the stroke. I was touched by the concern and support. We are fortunate to have a rehab doc and neurosurgeon in our congregation who were asked to explain Jenny’s situation during the last part of our meetings. It was nice to not have to personally answer these questions many different times, but I am glad people have a greater understanding of what happened. My desire is that people relaize she is still the woman she was a month ago, just unable to move her body. Jenny was released from her primary music calling, which was expected, but hard. Jenny was relieved by knowing that the new chorister is talented and will do an excellent job. Knowing this helped her accept it much better. She still appears to be in constant discomfort, which affects me most of all. I hate seeing her hurt and not knowing exactly what to do to make it better. I am getting more efficient at guessing. In just 5-6 questions I found out that her ear was folded over and that was causing pain as she lay on it. Give me a couple months and I will rock at “20 questions”.

Today was a great day for Jenny and our little girls. Hospital visits are so hard for our childen, especially since it is hard for them to carry on a one-way conversation with mom. They are so excited to visit mom up until they see her motionless and expressionless in her bed. At that point, they get a little anxious and quiet. Today, they got to go see Jenny in a more upright position and go outside in a beautiful garden area with their mom. There had a pond with fish and turtles which made the kids run around all crazy and come to Jenny in excitement while they told of the turtles. For a second, it seemed like they forgot about mom being at a hospital. Jenny needed this experience with the kids today, plus it was the first time being outside her room (except for medical transport- but that was not too fun).

Jenny also got her hair washed for the first time since her stroke. She loved every minute of it. She has been bothered by her hair, but she seemed more satisfied today. She indicated that she wanted her legs shaved, but changed her mind after I took one pass at her with a razor. I did not cut her, but I’m sure I did something wrong. Jenny seems to be experiencing more pain in various parts of her body. It is hard to not be able to do much about it. We massage, try to reposition her, and make sure she gets medications when needed, but I doubt she can ever get any too comfortable. It hurts me to see distress on her face. I try to run through a list of things that have bothered her in the past, which usually works, but sometimes fail to figure out what she needs. I feel the need to apoligize all the time for not knowing what to do for her- and for never being able to put her glasses on her without accidentally catching the nose pieces on her nostrils. I am not the only one who has that problem, so I don’t feel too bad about the glasses part.

The nurses had Jenny in a sitting position today and they felt she did well. Jenny’s sister does not feel Jenny thought it was as successful. Jenny appeared a little down today, but was able to spend more time with her sister and kids which brightened the mood. I spent a few hours doing errands for Jenny and getting dental work done on Jessie. Jenny is so organized that I just have to show up and things take care of themselves. Jessie is probably wishing Jenny is not as organized. Jenny seems to move her left big toe with some effort. The doctors say they will bring in special infra-red goggles that read her blinks so she can communicate better. She was resistive to any other efforts to communicate that with her real voice when the idea was brought up in Cleveland, but may be more willing since we often miss obvious signs of distress. I’m sure there is one heck of an itch on her nose that needs scratching, and we are still srtuggling with blink spelling. We read the cards and notes from friends and family to her. She truley appreciates the love being shown to her. She cries too much to show her them all at one time, but she feels your love.