A few days ago, I just wanted something to listen to, so I turned on a podcast I like. (Better Than Happy). I heard the title of the podcast (Managing Depression with EmyLee McIntyre). I didn’t think it’d apply to me because I’m not currently depressed. But oh, how wrong I was! 18 years ago, I was VERY depressed, & the podcast applied so well to my 18th stroke-a-versary (which is today, 3/16)! First thing to catch my attention was this gem of a conversation:
You create happiness cause you’ve been through hard things & you’re still ok…
We don’t have to dislike who we were in the past to become a different version of ourselves… “But I liked her! I still want to be her!” Ok. You can like her AND become an even better version of yourself.
(because) She’s you!
Then they shared this cool idea:
“Write down a thought u want to have & each day write down 3 evidences of how u saw it was true” (for example, if you are having trouble believing that God Loves u, write down “God loves me” & each day find 3 reasons why that is true)
What a fantastic idea! I don’t need to prove to myself that God loves me – these past 18 years have been filled with reminders of how God loves me & has stayed by my side these many years. But for fun (& because it has been on my mind), I will list 10 I have seen recently – though there have been many, many more!
- Because of choices He has prompted, I believe it helped me to have a quick encounter with COVID (though I’m still recovering, I feel great & well cared for)
- My husband was sick before me, so he could help me when I was too weak to do anything
- I am always amazed at the physical strength of my husband when he’s ill, & knowing how weak I got, there’s no doubt in my mind that he received heavenly assistance!
- My helper was also sick slightly before us, so she has also been here & could help me both when Mark was sick, & while I am sick!
- By some miracle, I didn’t get sick with COVID until my helper AND Mark were both well enough to help me, but it was close enough to when they had COVID that they could feel confident about their antibodies
- I saw my grandbaby just the day before we had to quarantine
- In 2020, I finally had surgery (that I’d put off forever) on my deviated septum…it has TOTALLY helped me deal with COVID
- Not too long ago, my husband picked up Navage (which basically sucks your boogers out – Ha, Ha). Not to sound like a commercial, but it has helped me SOOOO much! I’m less congested than I’ve ever been from a common cold!
- Years ago, it seemed like a mean, cruel trick how my diet had to suddenly change, but now all I see is how it blesses me! The week before I had COVID, my diet was jam-packed with anti-inflammatory foods! Stuff I never would’ve eaten 18 years ago! It was like I was being prepared for a battle! … & the clincher: it wasn’t even planned! (which is strange, since I’m a planner!)
- Recently, I was reading an article called “The Joy of the Saints” (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/14christofferson?lang=eng), & I was reminded of a man who had a lot of influence in my life during the early years after my stroke. The article read, “ Once in an interview, Jack observed: “Problems will come into all of our lives; it’s part of just being here upon this earth. And some people think that religion or having faith in God will protect you from bad things. I don’t think that’s the point. I think the point is that if our faith is strong, that when bad things happen, which they will, we’ll be able to deal with them. … My faith never wavered, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t have depressions. I think for the first time in my life, I was pushed to the limit, and literally there was nowhere to turn, and so I turned to the Lord, and to this day, I feel a spontaneity of joy.”
Now I should pick a phrase I want to believe, but am having trouble believing…
In the late 1980’s/early 1990’s, after President Spencer Kimball had passed away, they had a regional women’s conference in Chicago to honor his wife, Camilla. Her two sons, Edward and Spencer, Jr. came and told stories about their parents. One of the sons told the story that after President Kimball had brain surgery, throat surgery, and heart surgery, and had tried so hard to be patient, courageous, and accepting of those serious trials, just as he was recovering from the last surgery, he found out he needed a root canal on a tooth. His son said for about 5-10 minutes, his father just “lost it”. “Why this? After all he’d been through, why this? Why one more thing?” He snapped out of it, mustered his courage again, and endured the root canal as he had the major surgeries. That story did not make me think less of President Kimball, it made me realize that as strong and courageous as he was, even he could have something that was just one more ounce more than he felt he could endure. But the Lord knew he could endure a little more and he would grow from it. That story is an inspiration for me.
Love it! Thank you for sharing! I definitely understand the feeling of, “I can’t take one more thing!” That’s when u need God the most so u can carry on! So awesome to see that even a prophet of God needs Him!
I often think of Saul/Paul, who once converted gave his life to the Lord. He had been beaten and thrown in jail for preaching the gospel. That night the Savior visited him. He didn’t let him out, he told him to be of good cheer. That must have been very hard. The Lord often doesn’t remove the struggle, but cheers us on. You know this better than most Jenny!
How did I miss this? I love this comment!
I am glad you recovered well from COVID!
You are strong and special person!