THE STORY BEHIND THE ENSIGN ARTICLE

MY GIRLS HAVE BEEN SO CUTE, WORKING ON CRAFTS FOR 2 WEEKS, 4 ME, 2 PREPARE 4 MY B-DAY. I FEEL SO LOVED, & QUESTION “IS THERE A REASON? I JUST SIT IN A CHAIR!”

BUT, I SPEND LIKE 1-2 HRS. DIRECTING THEM 2 CLEAN, THEY READ ME STORIES, SIT ON MY LAP & PLAY COMP., I COLOR W/THEM, I PLAY GAMES (IN & SOMETIMES OUTSIDE), ETC. MAYBE THAT’S WHY…OR MAYBE IT’S SIMPLY COOL THAT THEIR MOM CAN’T SPANK HARD!

THOUGHT MY B-DAY COMING UP COULD GET NO BETTER THAN FEELING SO LOVED. I WAS WRONG:

ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO, MY VISITING TEACHER, WENDY, READ AN ARTICLE 2 ME IN THE ENSIGN. I WAS MOVED 2 SHARE MY OWN STORY ABOUT WHEN I WAS AN INDY PRI. CHORISTER, B4 MY STROKE, UP 2 THE 1ST 1 ½ YEARS AFTER MY STROKE (THE PRESENT DAY, AT THE TIME I WROTE).

AT 1ST, I WAS TURNED DOWN BY THE ENSIGN. THERE WAS STUFF THAT I KNEW SHOULD BE CHANGED IN MY ARTICLE, BUT I WASN’T SURE HOW 2 DO IT,. HOWEVER, I WAS STRONGLY IMPRESSED 2 LEAVE IT THERE, SOMEHOW… IT HAD SEEMED SO CERTAIN THAT, THOUGH THE TYPE WASN’T THE BEST, THE MESSAGE WAS GOOD ENOUGH 2 SHARE. I COULDN’T SHAKE THE NAGGING FEELING THAT I STILL NEEDED 2 SHARE MY MESSAGE…

MY PARENTS NUDGED ME 2 TRY AGAIN. MY WHOLE LIFE I’VE BEEN INITIALLY REJECTED—THEN, MY PARENTS ENCOURAGE ME 2 TRY AGAIN, & GOOD STUFF HAPPENS!

ANYWAY, MY YOUNGEST BRO., MIKE, TOOK MY MESSAGE (THE “MEAT”) & ADDED ALL THE “FILLER” STUFF. MK ASSITED W/SOME MONUMENTAL EDITING CHOICES. IT WAS HARD SEARCHING 4 A TITLE. MK SUGGESTED ONE THAT SEEMED 2 SIMPLE & OBVIOUS, BUT ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! I TRIED AGAIN . I WAS ACCEPTED BY THE ENSIGN, & TOLD JAN. 2008 IT’D BE PUBLISHED. I WAS THRILLED, BUT 4DECIDED 2 KEEP IT UNDER WRAPS. FEW KNEW.

INCREDIBLY, IT WAS MOVED 2 SEPT.–I HAD NO IDEA WHY, BUT WAS TOLD 2 CHECK IN AUG…. I DID, & WAS TOLD THIS:

It’s good to hear from you. Your article titled “Primary Songs Blessed Me,” is, in fact, scheduled for September. In fact, I believe it’s at press right now. My notes show that it will be on p. 55 of the magazine.

The reason for the shift in scheduling was that the Liahona decided to run the article as well. Their publication timeline requires a little bit of extra time for translation and production, so that’s why we moved it to September.

SO, I’LL BE IN THE LIAHONA & ENSIGN–NOT ONE, BUT TWO MAGAZINES. & THE LIAHONA IS AN INTERNATIONAL CHURCH MAGAZINE! I’M THRILLED AGAIN, & 2 FIND OUT THAT I’LL BE TRANSLATED INTO OTHER LANGUAGES & PUBLISHED AGAIN! CRAZY! OVER THE LAST YEAR, THEY’VE EDITED & TOTALLY SHORTENED IT, BUT THE MESSAGE I NEEDED 2 SHARE REMAINS—EVEN WHAT DIDN’T SEEM 2 INITIALLY WORK!

SO, DO U GET THE LDS ENSIGN? IF U R NOT LDS, & DON’T GET IT, COME SEPT., U CAN LISTEN HERE: WWW.LDS.ORG >GOSPEL LIBRARY>MEDIA FORMATS>AUDIO>ENSIGN, SEPTEMBER 2008.

MANY WHO R LEARNING ASL, ARE FAMILIAR W/”SIGNING TIME.” THOSE WHO R LDS, MAY BE FAMILIAR W/A NAME OF A WELL-KNOWN LDS MUSICIAN WHOSE SISTER DOES “SIGNING TIME”—LEX De AZEVEDO. SHE OBVIOUSLY GREW UP IN A MUSICAL HOME. I DID 2, & DESPITE EVERYTHING, I REALLY WANT 2 SHARE MUSIC W/MY KIDS. HAVING A DEAF CHILD COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY, REALLY TOUGH 2 ACCEPT, BUT I’VE ALWAYS ADMIRED HOW THEY MADE GOOD OF SOMETHING BAD, BY MAKING SIGN VIDEOS, USING THE STREGNTH THAT MUSIC PROVIDES 2 TEACH. I KNOW IT HAS HELPED ME LEARN THE PRIMARY LANGUAGE I NOW SPEAK.

THANKS 2 GOD I HAD EXPERIENCES WORTH SHARING, & HAD THE ABILITY 2 SHARE THOSE EXPERIENCES. IT WAS CERTAINLY NOT INTENDED, BUT MAYBE I’VE FOLLOWED IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THOSE WHO’VE IMPRESSED ME, & MADE GOOD OF SOMETHING THAT APPEARS BAD. THAT’S THE MOST THRILLING THOUGHT!

U MAY ENJOY THIS

U MAY ENJOY THIS: I DO “GRUNT” ON COMMAND A LOT, 2 GET HELP OR ATTENTION OR TO HAVE THE KIDS CLEAN. UNFORTUNATELY, IF I NEED 2 COMPETE W/ANY OTHER NOISE, IN ORDER 2 BE LOUD ENOUGH 4 OTHERS 2 HEAR, & 2 GET THE AIR I NEED, I HAVE 2 MAKE MYSELF CRY! BUT, THERE REALLY ISN’T TONE, SO THEY ALL SOUND PRETTY SIMILAR…

YET, MY YOUNGEST MAY NEED RE-DIRECTIN, WHILE CLEANING. IF SHE DOES, I GRUNT & POINT 2 THE MESS. KNOW WHAT SHE SAYS? “I KNOW MOM! STOP YELLING AT ME & SAYING (SHE IMATATES MY GRUNT).” SHE SOMEHOW KNOWS MY GRUNTS, THOUGH THEY SOUND VERY FAMILIAR!

I’M MY BEST THERAPIST

I’VE DECIDED I’M MY BEST THERAPIST, & MY OWN WORST ENEMY… I’M MY BEST THERAPIST BECAUSE I INSIST 2 ACCOMPLISH A FEAT, & REFUSE 2 ASK 4 HELP. BUT I’M MY OWN WORST ENEMY BECAUSE I DO APPRECIATE THE HELP THAT’S OFFERED, & ONCE I DO SOMETHING. IT’S ASSUMED THAT I CAN ALWAYS EASILY DO IT! NOT SO.

I LIKE THE CHALLENGE, & THE FEELING OF ACCOMPLISHMENT THAT FOLLOWS, IF I CAN DO IT…& SINCE I’M STUBBORN, THE QUES. IS NOT “CAN” I DO IT, BUT “WHEN.” IT JUST MAY NEED TIME &/OR CREATIVITY. PRAYER WORKS WONDERS 4 ME…I PRAY ABOUT MOST OF WHAT I DO, & SUDDENLY GET STRONGER, OR HAVE AN IDEA ABOUT HOW 2 DO SOMETHING.

I.E., IN THE CASE OF RAISING MY ARM (WHICH IS HIGHER LAYING DOWN, VS. SITTING), MANY ATTEMPTS FAIL–THAT’S WHY I PRACTICE!

MANY ITCHES R ALSO NEVER SCRATCHED—I KNOW MK WOULD SCRATCH, & I DO ASK 4 HELP IF THE ITCH PERSISTS, BUT MANY R UNREACHABLE & OVER B4 I CAN SPELL 2 ITCH IT!

IN ADDITION, I’VE BEEN TOLD THAT I ALSO COMPENSATE WELL 4 MY EYES (DOUBLE VISION)–EVEN MY CAREGIVER 4GETS SOMETIMES THAT I HAVE POOR VISION. BUT THERE’S THINGS I DO, AS MY THERAPIST, 2 MAKE MY VISION BETTER—EVEN SITTING IN CHURCH & TRYING 2 FOCUS ON STUFF THAT IS FAR AWAY, DIGI. SCRAP., PLAYING SODUKP OR SPIDER SOLATAIRE, IS 2 BETTER MY VISION. & BET I TRY 2 ACCOMPLISH WAY MORE THAN I SHOULD, WHEN I NEED SO MUCH HELP—WHICH MIGHT EXPLAIN MY STRESS LEVEL…

STILL, I CERTAINLY BELIEVE THAT U NEED 2 DO THE MOST W/WHAT U R GIVEN. BECAUSE OF IT, BEING MY OWN WORST ENEMY IS HELPING ME 2 CHALLENGE MYSELF 2 IMPROVE, SLOWLY, BUT SURELY.

CHANGES

AS TIME GOES BY, I REALIZE I’M STILL RECOVERING, IN WAYS THAT CAN’T BE SEEN: SURE, THERE’S NOTICABLE JUMPS, LIKE WALKING, FEEDING MYSELF, OR TYPING LONGER POSTS. THERE’S SMALLER JUMPS, LIKE GETTING MORE TONE IN MY FACE, & SUCH, SO I CAN C GLIMMERS OF ME PRE-STROKE, & OTHERS MIGHT RECOGNIZE ME IN A PIC. OR VIDEO.

BUT U CAN’T C THAT VERY SLOWLY, PARTS OF MY PERSONALITY IS RETURNING.

4 EX: I LOVE KIDS. AS TIME GOES BY, I FIND WAYS 2 INTERACT &/OR PLAY W/THEM AGAIN. I HAD FUN W/A 7 MO. OLD NEPHEW…HE WAS IN A WALKER, FOLLOWING ME WHEEL AROUND. AFTER ALL, WE’RE THE COOL KIDS ON SEATS W/WHEELS! EVERY FEW FEET, I TURNED & STUCK OUT MY TONGUE (WHICH I COULDN’T DO B4, & TRIED IN SPEECH THERAPY SEVERAL YRS. AGO. BUT HAVE LEARNED, 2 FIA’S DELIGHT). BUT THE BEST PART WAS THAT HE WOULD DO IT BACK!

OTHER STUFF I DO 2 INTERACT &/OR PLAY W/KIDS AGAIN:
• SOOTHE A CRYING INFANT, IN A BABY CARRIER
• RETURN A CHILD’S JABBER-TALK, W/MY OWN JABBER-TALK (FIA ESP. LOVES THIS)
• SING (“EIEIO” IS A FAV.)
• HIDE N SEEK
• RED ROVER
• BASEBALL
• LISTEN 2 STORIES
• ETC—YES, THERE’S MORE!

ANOTHER EX: MUSIC IS A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE, & IT’S COMING BACK. I’VE SHYED AWAY FROM IT, AS IT EVOKES 2 MANY FEELINGS, & CAN MAKE MY PBA UNCONTROLLABLE…BUT ABOUT A YR. AGO, I WENT THROUGH A PHASE & TOOK CHARGE OF LIKE 20-30 FAV. CDS, SO I HAD THE POWER 2 LISTEN WHEN I WANTED 2. I TOOK UP GUITAR—SOMETHING I’VE ALWAYS WANTED 2 LEARN. I HAD RE-NEWED ENERGY 2 LEARN PIANO, 1-HANDED…I RECALL A DAY WHEN I WELCOMED BACK THE MUSICAL PART OF ME.

ANOTHER EX: I USED 2 TEACH TRADITIONAL SCRAPBOOK. HOW I FEARED THAT RETURNING, 4 FEAR OF PRIDE LOST, BECAUSE IT’D BEEN SO LONG. BUT THE TEACHER IN ME (EL. ED. MAJOR) & SCRAPBOOKER CAME CHARGING BACK, & FELT SO GOOD. I THRIVE TEACHING OTHERS 2 DIGITAL SCRAP., & RECENTLY TAUGHT MY GIRLS TRADITIONAL SCRAP.

YET 1 LAST EX: I LOVE 2 TEASE. FIGURE, IF I HAVE 2 SPELL, SO I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE FUN DOING IT! INSTEAD OF SAYING “AFRAID OF SPIDERS,” 2 THOSE WHO R VERY CONFIDENT OF THEIR “JENNY-ESE,” I MIGHT SPELL THAT”I HAVE “ARACNAPHOBIA”– BUT IT’S RARE 2 C MY HUMOR, BECAUSE I THINK FUNNY STUFF MORE THAN I SIGN IT! HENCE, I MAY “THINK SOMETHING HUNNY IN MY HEAD,” & LAUGH ALONE, OUT OF THE BLUE.

MY NEWEST PHASE IS SPENDING TIME W/FAM. & OTHERS (SO NO APOLOGIES W/MY TYPING).

I AM SOMEE1 WHO NEEDS ALONE TIME, BUT I HATE ISOLATION, THOUGH IT OFTEN, UNDERSTANDABLY, COMES W/THE TERRITORY. SEEMS I DID FINE W/LESS COMP. TIME A FEW YRS. AGO…

DESPITE THAT I TYPE W/1 FINGER, & I ALSO TALK W/IT, & TRY 2 DO SOME THINGS THE SAME AS B4 (& I WAS ALWAYS A BUSY MOM B4!). SO SEEMS I SHOULD BE OK W/LESS COMP. TIME NOW, IF A DAY WORKS OUT THAT WAY. I’VE FOUND I BENEFIT, AT TIMES, 2 TEAR MYSELF AWAY & ENJOY “QUALITY TIME.”

MY IDENTITY IS COMING BACK. I CUT & HIGHLIGHTED MY HAIR. PHYSICALLY, THERE’S A CHANGE—I’M BLONDER & HAVE SHORTER HAIR. BUT THERE’S CHANGES JUST AS BIG, GOING ON INSIDE OF ME.

CLASS

SEVERAL HAVE ASKED IF I TAUGHT MY GIRLS DIGI. SCRAP. IT’S EASIER 2 POST AN ANSWER 2 REACH EVERY1, SO HERE IT GOES:

I RECENTLY TAUGHT MY GIRLS TRADITIONAL SCRAP.:

MY CAREGIVER, CARA, IS A SCRAPBOOKER & HELPED, BUT JESS & FIA HAVE GOTTEN REAL GOOD AT MY ASL & I TYPED A LOT OF BIG ANSWERS 2 QUES I WAS PROUD OF JESS–I TAUGHT THE BEGINNING ALONE!

I HAD TYPED A 3-PG. LESSON, W/BREAKS BETWEEN EACH PG., SO THE GIRLS TOOK TURNS READING & IDENTIFYING THINGS–IE. AFTER READING THE DEFINITIONS 4 A PART OF A SCRAP. PG., WE IDENTIFIED THE PART WE READ…AFTER IDENTIFYYING EVERYTHING, CARA HELPED BECAUSE I HAD PRINTED THE PIECES, SO THEY COULD ASSEMBLE A SIMILAR SCRAP. PG. 2 THE 1 WE WERE IDENTIFYING PARTS ON.

WE ALSO SAW A VIDEO, 2 COVER ANYTHING I MISSED.) CARA HELPED W/THE HANDS ON, BUT I HELPED JESS A LOT–TOLD HER WHAT 2 DO.

I THINK TRADITIONAL IS A GOOD BUILDING BLOCK 4 DIGITAL. DIGITAL IS THE NEXT STEP, IF THEY WANT IT, BUT THEY DON’T HAVE A COMP., & SOME1 MIGHT AS WELL USE THE GAZILLION SCRAP. SUPPLIES I HAVE!