Update

INDEPENDENCE & WEBSITE CHANGES

PEOPLE ARE GENERALLY VERY CONSIDERATE. IF THEY C A NEED, THEY DO IT (LIKE IF I’M HEADED TOWARDS A DOOR, THEY OPEN IT). IT’S ALL NICE. EVEN STRANGERS ARE HELPFUL!

BUT I SEEM 2 BE IN A “TODDLER STAGE,”I SWEAR I HAVE HAD A SORT OF “REBIRTH”, & IN THE BEGINNING, WHEN I COULDN’T EVEN HOLD UP MU OWN HEAD, I WAS A HELPLESS “NEWBORN”), & OFTEN SAY, “I WANT 2 DO IT!” RECENTLY, MY DAUGHTER WAS TRYING 2 REACH SOMETHING, & THE WAY SHE WANTED 2 DO IT WASN’T SAFE, SO, SINCE MY CAREGIVER WAS THERE, I OFFERED HER HELP (NORMALLY, I LET KIDS STAND ON ME, IN ORDER 2 REACH, BUT THIS WAS SOMEWHERE I COULDN’T GO.)

SHE WAS VERY OFFENDED, & POINTED OUT HOW SHE FELT “GROWN UP” WHEN SHE DID STUFF HERSELF. VERY OBSERVANT! I, 2, FEEL THAT SAME SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT, & FEEL MORE LIKE A CAPABLE ADULT!

ON THANKSGIVING, A SISTER-IN-LAW OFFERED 2 FEED ME PIE. I WAS GRATEFUL 4 HER WILLINGNESS, BUT I WANTED 2 TRY. IF I FAILED, I KNEW I COULD ASK 4 HER HELP. MY 1ST TRY FAILED, BUT THE 2ND TRY WORKED, AFTER TAKING INTO ACCOUNT WHAT I DID WRONG!

THE BEST AT THANKSGIVING WAS THAT IF I WANTED A FINGER FOOD, I DIDN’T NEED 2 ASK 4 IT, OR BE FED IT—I SIMPLY RAISED MY CHAIR 2 COUNTER HEIGHT, REACHED & GRABBED IT, & FED MYSELF IT ALL THINGS I WAS TOLD I’D NEVER DO AGAIN! I FELT SUCH UTTER JOY & GRATITUDE! EVERYTIME I WAS SEEN, I GIGGLED 4 JOY! I WAS SO HAPPY!

CHANGE OF SUBJECT:
1. THE SCRAPBOOK PAGES R UPDATED
2. A NEW BOOK WAS ADDED 2 THE RECOMMENDATIONS LIST
3. A FAQ SECTION WAS CREATED BY MOVING THE “SEARCH” SECTION OUT AND ADDING A SEARCH BAR TO THE RIGHT SIDE.

THIS WAS ADDED BECUZ I SAW A NEED: WHEN I HAD MY STROKE, FAMILY HAD 2 SCOUR THE INTERNET 2 LEARN ABOUT MY CONDITION, & I STILL GET QUESTIONS EITHER ABOUT MY DISABILITY, OR ABOUT BEING DISABLED. SO, I’M ADDING A SECTION ON MY WEBSITE 4″ FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQ),” FEEL FREE 2 SEND ME A QUESTION (MY EMAIL IS ON THE “CONTACT ME” PAGE).

THE FAQ SECTION OPERATES BASED ON THE CATEGORY THAT I LABEL MY POST WITH. SO, WHEN U CLICK “FAQ” ONLY POSTS LABELED WITH THE CATEGORY “FAQ” WILL SHOW UP – NONE OF MY OTHER POSTS. SO REGULAR READERS WILL NOT MISS MY POSTS 2 THE FAQ SECTION. HOWEVER, I MAY ANSWER SOME THINGS BY COPYING & PASTING, SO SOME THINGS MAY BE FAMILIAR 2 U! I WILL TRY 2 ANSWER AT LEAST 1 QUESTION WEEKLY…

GRATITUDE

IN OCT. 2010, THE LDS PROPHET, PRES. MONSON SAID, “My brothers and sisters, do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive? Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love.”

I RECENTLY TOLD THE TEENAGE GIRLS AT CHURCH THAT SHORTLY AFTER REGAINING THE ABILITY TO JOURNAL ON MY COMPUTER, MY FIRST FEW ENTRIES WERE MOSTLY NEGATIVE AND FOCUSED ON WHAT I COULD NOT DO AND ALL THE THINGS THAT MADE MY LIFE SO TERRIBLE. NEEDLESS TO SAY, THOSE ENTRIES WERE NOT EXAMPLES OF OPTIMISM AND GRATITUDE. AFTER LETTING MY HUSBAND READ THESE JOURNAL ENTRIES, HE SUGGESTED SOMETHING I HAVE MENTIONED B4: THAT I COMPILE A LIST OF THE THINGS I WAS GRATEFUL FOR. WHEN ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT I HAD WAS TAKEN AWAY, IT WAS HARD TO THINK THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR.
IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT CHALLENGE FOR ME. IT WAS SO HARD TO THINK OF THE GOOD, AND NOT ABOUT THE BAD. I HAD TO START SMALL. VERY SMALL. AT FIRST IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT TO THINK ONLY ABOUT THE GOOD, AND DIS-REGARD THE NEGATIVE. HOWEVER, I RECOGNIZED THE BLESSINGS OF THE LDS PRIESTHOOD AND A LOVING FAMILY. ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS THAT WAS NOT AFFECTED WAS MY HEARING, SO I WAS BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO STILL ENJOY LISTENING TO MUSIC AND HEARING MY CHILDREN SING. I WAS WRITING THIS LIST ON MY OWN, SO I RECOGNIZED THAT I HAD REGAINED INDEPENDENCE THAT I WAS TOLD THAT I WOULD NEVER REGAIN. I GET GREAT PARKING NOW. I FEEL LIKE A QUEEN SINCE PEOPLE DO ALL THE MUNDANE TASKS FOR ME- LIKE FEEDING ME. IF I GET RUNS IN THE BACK OF MY NYLONS, PEOPLE CANNOT TELL SINCE THE WHEELCHAIR HIDES IT. I WAS GRATEFUL THAT I COULD USE SIGN LANGUAGE AND NOT HAVE TO BLINK TO COMMUNICATE ANYMORE (BUT I WAS THANKFUL FOR THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE BY BLINKING WHEN THAT WAS MY ONLY OPTION). I COULD STILL HELP MY KIDS WITH HOMEWORK. I GIVE THE BEST HUGS WHEN SOPHIA GETS HURT. PEOPLE TELL ME COOL SECRETS BECAUSE THEY THINK I WILL NOT AND CANNOT TELL ANYONE. I WAS GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE.
MY LIST GREW AS I BECAME MORE AWARE OF THE MANY, MANY BLESSINGS THAT EVEN A PERSON IN MY SITUATION HAD, AND I WAS SURPRISED TO FIND THAT I EASILY WROTE ABOUT 20 BLESSINGS THE FIRST ATTEMPT. IN TIME, IF THERE WAS SOMETHING I HATED, I SEARCHED FOR WHY THAT WAS A BLESSING, AND ADDED THAT 2 MY LIST. IT HAS BEEN 4 YEARS SINCE I FIRST BEGAN THIS LIST, AND I ADD TO IT ON A REGULAR BASIS. IN MAKING MY LIST, I HAVE LEARNED TO LOOK A DIFFERENT WAY ON MANY THINGS THAT MAKE MY SITUATION DIFFICULT. THINKING THIS WAY HELPS ME COPE BETTER WITH MY SITUATION, AND TO HELP ME SEE GOD’S HAND IN EVERYTHING I DO. JUST LIKE MY LIST, IT IS IMPORTANT TO DO THE SAME WITH YOUR FAMILIES, AND CLING TO THE THINGS YOU APPRECIATE AND LOVE ABOUT EACH FAMILY MEMBER.

SPEAKING OF GRATITUDE, & IN THE SPIRIT OF THANKSGIVING, I’M CURRENTLY THANKFUL 4 MY POWER WHEELCHAIR & MY VOICE. LAST WEEK MY WHEELCHAIR BROKE AGAIN (IT’S OLD), & THOUGH I’M EXTREMELY GRATEFUL 4 THIS EXTRA POWERCHAIR, I MISS MY “REGULAR” POWERCHAIR, & WILL BE GLAD 2 GET IT BACK 2DAY, AFTER BEING W/O IT FOR 6 DAYS!!

I ALSO LOST MY VOICE. (SOUNDS FUNNY COMING FROM ME, BUT I LOST WHAT LITTLE I’D REGAINED, & COULDN’T EVEN SAY MY KIDS NAMES.) IT WAS LIKE THE BEGINNING, IN 2004…I 4GOT HOW NICE IT IS 2 HAVE RE-GAINED EVEN A TINY BIT OF VOICE.

MOST RECENTLY, I AM THANKFUL BECAUSE I CAN MOVE MY BELLY VOLUNTARILY. IT IS ONLY A LITTLE, BUT IT IS SOMETHING. IF IT GETS STRONGER, I MAY BE ABLE TO BREATHE VOLUNTARILY. THEN I COULD FORCE AIR THROUGH MY VOCAL CORDS AND I COULD REGAIN THE ABILITY TO TALK. I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS SMALL MOVEMENT AND ALL OTHERS THAT WILL COME MY WAY.

I PREVIOUSLY JOURNALLED THESE:

• 11/7 WAS A “TALKING DAY” (I HAVE DAYS WHERE IT’S EASIER 2 TALK), & WITH WORDS, & NO SIGNING, I ASKED MY GIRLS,“WHAT R U DOING?” 1 OF THE GIRLS REPEATED MY QUESTION, 2 BE SURE I WAS UNDERSTOOD, & AFTER NODDING YES, SHE ANSWERED. I THEN POINTED & ASKED, “WHAT IS THAT?,” & THE OTHER GIRL REPEATED MY QUESTION, 2 BE SURE I WAS UNDERSTOOD AGAIN, & AFTER NODDING YES, SHE ANSWERED.

• ABOUT 2 WEEKS PREVIOUS 2 THAT, I TOLD MY MUSIC THERAPIST, “NO PIANO,” AS I POINTED AT MY PIANO, & SHOOK MY HEAD. SHE TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD ME! I WAS THRILLED! IT’S 1 THING 4 MY FAMILY 2 UNDERSTAND ME, OR A SPEECH THERAPIST, BUT IT’S ANOTHER 2 HAVE “USEFUL” CONVERSATION.

• 11/9 WAS ALSO EXCITING. THE GIRLS CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL, BUT I ONLY SAW SOPH. NORMALLY, I HAVE 2 DROP WHAT I’M DOING, SO I CAN SIGN, “WHERE IS JESSICA?”, OR I KEEP WORKING & WONDERING! I CAN’T RECALL THE LAST TIME I KEPT WORKING, & SIMULTANEOUSLY ASKED A QUESTION, BUT EVERY NOW & THEN I TRY IT, JUST 4 FUN! ONLY THIS TIME, SOPH UNDERSTOOD ME, & ANSWERED! GRANTED, IT’S VERY POSSIBLE THAT SHE ONLY FIGURED OUT MY WORDS, DUE 2 THE CONTEXT, BUT IT FELT GOOD!

WHEN I 1ST LOST THE ABILITY TO SPEAK, I BEGAN BY BLINKING IN ORDER TO SPELL WORDS, THEN “GRADUATED” TO FINGER-SPELLING WORDS, & I CAN NOW SIGN SOME WORDS. THE FIRST SIGN WORD I LEARNED, WAS FOR THE WORD “THANK YOU.” I WAS THRILLED! IT FELT SO GOOD TO BE ABLE TO SAY “THANK YOU,” WHENEVER SOMEONE HELPED ME! I BELIEVE THAT IN ORDER TO LEARN GRATITUDE, WE NEED TO SAY, “THANK YOU.” LUCKILY, WHEN I LOST MY VOICE THIS TIME, I COULD STILL MOVE & SIGN “THANK YOU.”

HOWEVER, I FINALLY GOT MY VOICE BACK A LITTLE YESTERDAY, & CAN SAY MORE AGAIN. I WAS DELIGHTED THAT WHEN ZACH ASKED ME AFTER DINNER WHERE DAD WENT, I WAS ABLE 2 SAY “MAILBOX” CLEARLY, & BE UNDERSTOOD! EVEN ZACH WAS IMPRESSED!

HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I KNOW I WILL!

HALLOWEEN

WE CELEBRATED HALLOWEEN SAT., AT OUR CHURCH’S TRUNK OR TREAT. THE ENTIRE FAMILY LOOKED GREAT (ZACH’S “COUCH POTATO” HAD A CHIPS BAG 2 COLLECT TREATS, JESS HAD KILLER SKELETON MAKE-UP, SOPH HAD GREAT HAIR & OUTFIT, MK WAS A HANDSOME KNIGHT, & I WAS A QUEEN IN HER THRONE)..

AS 4 ME: THERE R JUST SO MANY COSTUMES THAT R COOL & UNIQUE 2 A W/C, I’M LIKE A LITTLE KID, WHO MISSED THEIR CHILDHOOD, SO I HAVE A HARD TIME NOT DOING THEM. I WAS GOING 2 DRESS IN SOMETHING SIMPLE, BUT MERELY MENTIONED THAT I WANTED 2 BE A QUEEN IN HER THRONE (I JOKE I AM 1, SINCE I’M FED, POTTIED, SPECIAL ACCOMODATIONS R MADE 4 ME, ETC.–IT’S A LOT MORE FUN 2 THINK THAT WAY, INSTEAD OF ANY OTHER WAY!), & MK WENT OUT & MADE IT. HE BLEW ME AWAY–IT WAS WAY MORE ELABORATE & BEAUTIFUL THAN I HAD EXPECTED! I’M 1 LUCKY GIRL!

& NOTICE, MK WAS A KNIGHT, NOT A KING. VERY APPROPRIATE, SINCE KNIGHTS SERVE THE QUEEN! LOL &, IF I NEED HELP OR AM SCARED, MK COMES 2 MY RESCUE, & MY HEAD ALWAYS IS SAYING THXS 2 MY “KNIGHT IN SHING ARMOR”-I REALLY CALL HIM THAT!

I TOTALLY ALSO WANTED A RED CARPET OR ROSE PETALS ON MY RAMP, BUT NO 1 WOULD C IT, SO, I WAS SATISFIED BY THE TREATS BEING PLACED AT MY FEET, SO EVERY1 HAD 2 KNEEL B4 THE QUEEN–LOL

I’M ALIVE!

SORRY I HAVEN’T BEEN 2 CHATTY… I HAVE BEEN CRAZY BUSY. IN ADDITION 2 WHAT I DID IN JUNE (WENT 2 A WEDDING 4 MY YOUNGEST SIBLING, MIKE,IN UTAH & WENT 2 IDAHO), I’VE GOTTEN READY 4 MY 13 YR. OLD SON, ZACH’S, EAGLE COURT OF HONOR (& MADE ABOUT 100 SCRAPBOOK PAGES), WENT 2 MY SIS., MISSY’S WEDDING IN VERMONT, AS THE MATRON OF HONOR, WENT 2 DALLAS 4 A WEEK-END W/NO COMPUTER, & THERE’S BEEN LOTS IN BETWEEN…I’M SLOWLY GETTING BACK 2 “NORMAL,” & I NEED 2 GET BACK AMONG THE LIVING…SO I AM NOW PLAYING CATCH-UP!

2 ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT ZACH’S EAGLE COURT OF HONOR:

I DIDN’T REALIZE ANY1 COULD GET THEIR EAGLE B4 THEY WERE 14 YRS. OLD, & PRE-STROKE I MADE PLANS 2 SCRAPBOOK 4 ZACH’S EAGLE. & UNFORTUNATELY, SINCE THIS WAS THE ONLY ATTAINABLE PRE-STROKE GOAL, I WAS PRETTY DETERMINED 2 DO IT!

YACKTMAN’S CAN’T DO BIG EVENTS W/O STRESS, SO SINCE I’M 1 (THAT’S MY MAIDEN NAME), & I CAN’T BE HAPPY DOING JUST A LITTLE BIT, I HAD 2 CREATE MY OWN STRESS, BY ACCOMPLISHING THAT PRE-STROKE GOAL BY SCRAPPING 3 ALBUMS: ZACH’S CUB, BOY, & EAGLE SCOUT STUFF. MAYBE I’LL POST AT LEAST 1 CUB SCOUT, 1 BOY SCOUT, & 1 EAGLE SCOUT PG., OR I’LL POST AT LEAST SOME PICS OF THE EVENTS!

THOUGH I HURRIED 2 MAKE LOTS OF SCRAPBOOK PAGES IN 2 MONTHS, ALMOST EVEY SUPPLY 4 MY SCRAPBOOKS WAS BOUGHT PRE-STROKE, WHEN I SCRAPBOOKED TRADITIONALLY, & SCANNED IN. I HAD BEEN ORGANIZING & PLANNING 4 YEARS, BUT B4 MY STROKE, I THOUGHT I HAD 2-6 MORE YRS. 2 DO IT , BUT INSTEAD HAD A FEW MONTHS 2 DO ABOUT 100 PAGES! LOL BUT SINCE ORGANIZING IS MOST OF THE BATTLE, I WAS ABLE 2 PULL IT OFF, SINCE I DID THE HARDEST PART B4!

BUT LET ME GIVE A PLUG 2 http://www.sbtoshare.com , WHO PRINTED MY PAGES IN A HURRY. I CAN’T BEGIN 2 SAY HOW AWESOME THEY ARE!

AFTER ZACH’S SCRAPBOOKS, I WAS ASKED IF THINGS EVER START TO SLOW DOWN A LITTLE…LOL HA. NEVER. I GO FROM 1 THING 2 ANOTHER. I ALWAYS FIND A WAY 2 STRESS! I’M GETTING BETTER: I USED 2 GO CRAZY W/O STUFF 2 KEEP ME BUSY! NOW, I’M BETTER AT RELAXING, TAKING A MOMENT 2 STOP, ETC. BUT IF THOSE TIMES COME, I DON’T KNOW WHAT 2 DO W/MYSELF, & IT NEVER LASTS LONG! EVEN ASW/MY PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS, I ALWAYS HAVE 2 MANY THINGS GOING ON SIMUTANEOUSLY, SO I DON’T START & FINISH, BUT AM LIKE THE ENERGIZER BUNNY, WHO KEEPS GOING & GOING…

BTW, I HAVEN’T COMPLETELY 4GOTTEN U: I RECENTLY ADDED SOME THINGS 2 MY WEBSITE:
• A BOOK
• A BOOK DESCRIPTION
• A “CONTACT ME” PAGE
• AN ASL SECTION, SO PEOPLE CAN “BRUSH UP” ON THEIR “JENNY-ESE” NOW (& MY OWN HAND DID THE ASL CHART)!

SO MY CHAIR WAS BROKEN SUN. NIGHT-WED. MORNING. AFTER 6 YEARS, A W/C BECOMES A PART OF U, SO I FELT A PART OF ME WAS MISSING. IT WAS LESS PAINFUL 2 HAVE GONE THIS TIME, BUT “U NEVER KNOW WHAT’S GONE UNTIL IT’S GONE”, THOUGH! 6 YRS. AGO, I LOST MY VOICE & THE USE OF MY BODY. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT A BLESSING THAT WAS, OR THAT I COULD LOSE THEM. ONLY IN SLOWLY AQUIRING SOME OF IT BACK, HAVE I REALIZED THE ENORMOUS BLESSING.

LONG STORY SHORT, BY A FLUKE & PROMPTING, I FOUND A TRAVEL FOLDING POWER W/C ON EBAY, DIRT CHEAP (LIKE $150) IT NEEDED LOTS OF SMALL REPAIRS & A BATTERY. BUT STILL SPENT ONLY LIKE $600 TO BUY, SHIP, & GET A HEADREST–& USED CHAIRS R $1500-2500 ON EBAY! ONLY BAD THING: IT STANK OF SMOKE & WON’T TILT (& I TILT 2 HELP ME EAT, & RELIEVE PRESSURE ON MY BUTT. I ALSO TILT WHEN I NEED 2 POTTY & HAVE 2 WAIT, WHEN I WATCH MOVIES, & WHEN I LISTEN 2 AUDIO BOOKS–IT’S VERY TAXING 2 SIT UPRIGHT ALL DAY: IN THE HOSPITAL, I COULD ONLY HANDLE A FEW HRS. AT FIRST, & I WAS TILTED, SINCE I HAD LESS CORE MUSCLES!)

I GOT THE FOLDING, TRAVEL, POWER W/C 4 VERMONT—WE WERE FLYING, & WHEN I FLY, I’M STUCK IN A MANUAL W/C (WHICH I DETEST, BCUZ I CAN’T MOVE MYSELF, & GO BACK 2 SQUARE 1, LOSING ALL INDEPENDENCE THAT I’VE GAINED). HOWEVER, IT HAS COME IN VERY, VERY HANDY AS A BACK-UP, WHILE MY CHAIR IS BEING REPAIRED. IT HAS IT’S DRAWBACKS, BUT HOW GREAT 2 NOT BE IN MY MANUAL W/C 4 DAYS!

IN MY REGULAR POWER W/C, I RAREY TILT JUST 2 TILT, YET I CRAVE IT ALL THE TIME! WHILE I THINK I USE THE TILT FUNCTION MORE THAN I REALIZE, I WANT WHAT I CAN’T HAVE! ISN’T THAT HUST HUMAN NATURE?