Update

Been busy…I climbed Mt. Everest!

I conquered Mount Everest! Well, not really…recently I rode “Expedition Everest” at Disney World. For my 20^th Anniversary, we spent 1 ½ amazing days at DisneyWorld, then went on a Disney Cruise again—Disney just knows how to treat someone in a w/c!

On our trip, I had little therapy, so when I went horseback riding after our trip, I had trouble sitting up, & it wasn’t until the lesson was 1/2-way done, that my body seemed to remember what to do! I collapsed when I got off the horse, & had to tilt my chair back, cuz I was too tired to even sit up. Lol

This month has been quite busy (hence, I haven’t posted in FOREVER!), & has brought with it a desire to make some changes in my life. A few weeks ago, I felt MISERABLE, but I recognized that Satan has been using the same “door” for years to enter my life, & changes were necessary to “strengthen” me, so I didn’t keep letting him into my life. I am grateful that I have someone in my life who keeps giving me chances as I figure things out, & not giving up on me! As I thought about things,I realized that at times, we can do all we think we can do, & even involve God in the plans we have for our own lives, but sometimes we just need to surrender to God, & let God take care of things his way.

C.S. Lewis said “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.”

I heard this quote a few years ago, & it seemed so fitting for my life after my stroke, but it has recently re-entered my mind, & I’m seeing that in order for God to build His palace, I need to “relinquish the reins.” This is very hard for me, as I am a control-freak who already has lost so much control of my life. (Though it can be argued that it should be easier for me to give up control in my life!) However, in surrendering to God, I am not losing control—I am actually gaining control by helping make the decisions as my “palace” is built.

September News

I’ve been pretty quiet for a while. I’ve kept plenty busy working out things for our new home, scrapbooking traditionally (I discovered a hidden scrapbooking talent in Angie, & someday /I’ll post stuff we’ve made!), & I’ve been busy with a new calling (volunteer “job” at church) as a Personal Progress leader: In my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) we have a wonderful program for the Young Women (girls aged between 12 and 17) called Personal Progress that helps them to gain self-worth and a stronger relationship with their Heavenly Father. I get to help the girls & their parents work on this program, & I am in charge of the activity for the 3rd Tuesday every month, so until I get the swing of things, my focus is there…

In other news, about the beginning of September, , I’ve suddenly become clearer when I speak, & have begun to hold CONVERSATIONS w/o signing! One of the 1st was w/Angie’s son: lately, Angie’s son likes to block me from going places, so when I was headed to the bathroom before we were headed out of the house, & when he stood I’m front of me w/his arms & legs extended out. I said, “I can’t go to HEB…” (Our grocery store). His response, “But I want to go!” So I responded, “Then u better let me go potty!” & he moved out of my way! How awesome is that?!? I had a CONVERSATION w/a 3 year old!

On a similar note, about the same time, a friend heard me speaking at church, & commented, “I’m loving this! Aren’t you?!” A family member responded, “sometimes,” which makes me laugh! Before, family could say whatever they wanted around me…I couldn’t fight back, dish out punishments, etc. But now, watch out! 🙂

summer’s ending…

It’s been a while & a crazy summer!

Tuesday, I was getting out of my elevator, when my bell that I use to call for help (it’s velcroed to my chair) fell. I used another bell to call for help, & went back in my elevator, looking for my bell. Apparently, it fell on my footrest, which is why I couldn’t find it, so when help came, I was reprimanded for not getting out of the elevator, & then letting them retrieve the bell from my footrest.

Normally, I can’t explain myself, so I just have to deal w/someone misunderstanding my behaviors & feeling frustrated w/me. But this time I said, “I didn’t know where it was!” & the person immediately apologized & hugged me!

Such a small, stupid incident, but it meant so much to me! I have had a few of these kind of incidences lately &, just as there was a jump in my quality of communication when I went from blinking to ASL/signing, I am starting to feel it again, & I can’t tell u the joy it brings me!

As I told a friend who was helping me w/a problem recently: “I tend to try to make possible what appears impossible. Sometimes it works, & sometimes I have 2 wait & be patient until the impossible works. I waited 10 years to talk, so I think I can wait (for more)!”

it’s been awhile…

It’s been awhile! June tends to be a pretty busy month with school ending, & all the church activities/camps also, we are going to build a new house, so we’ve been focusing on that!

Why are we moving? I guess a lot has to do with me–i’ve outgrown this home: it was built back when my prognosis was to blink & not move…they thought i’d just stare at our pretty view all day!

the new house will be like 10 min. away from here, but it was a roller coaster finding it! mk & jessie have been bugging me for years to move. at 1st, i didn’t think i wanted to move. i hate change, was comfortable, & FINALLY settled (it took years, since i could only move & organize stuff, when i had a body there, specifically helping me!)

so years ago when i was 1st approached, i thought, “i just got settled, & u want me 2 do it all over again?!? no way!” but this time, i finally gave in & said, “we’ll talk, if u can find land”–& i gave some guidelines i didn’t think they could do: had to stay here, stay close to the church & have a grocery store nearby, but we had to be able to custom build.

it’s actually hard to find land in the area we are in, so at 1st we looked a little farther away than we wanted too, but the weirdest stuff happened when we bid on land that was farther away! I feel the Lord knew where He wanted us, & while this land eventually fell into our laps (just as mk was ready to give up), every other place we looked at was essential to leading us to where we ended up (which is interesting, if u understand the history for my church, because it had a similar situation). While our new place it’s more land than we wanted, it was priced so cheap, & was so flat (finding a large, flat area is tough where we are, but that is what we needed), yet it was so beautiful, so we (or should I say I? lol) couldn’t say no! (Plus is part of some wildlife tax exemption, so property tax is super cheap, which appealed to my “thrifty” side!)
i think this is where mk & i will be for quite a while!

i feel like i have lived on pintrest, preparing to meet w/our architect! but w/a new home, now i can open blinds, change room temp., etc. on my iPad! plus, I am dinging up this place, trying to be more independent: it wasn’t built for me to tool around the kitchen, & feed myself! besides, we want a 1-story home with the rooms i access, closer together: i can’t tell u how often i have needed to potty upstairs (where my lift is), but i’m stranded downstairs from a power outtage (granted a generator could help w/that, but i hate my craft room being downstairs, isolating me from my family!

In other news, i totally miss horse therapy, & while I can still do push-ups, I seem to be getting weaker—it is really hard to replicate what I do on the horse! There is a machine that attempts to replicate horse riding (iGallop), but it seems a bit advanced for me! BUT, I’ve been doing a lot of ROM lately, & it’s is totally helping me: Sunday i realized that my neck is turning more to the right, which is so awesome! Before it only would turn like 45 degrees, & my eyes won’t turn well to that side either, so I couldn’t see very well turning to my right…I had to either turn my chair, or sit on the right, so my head only had to turn left! but now i can actually see the “blindside” on the right! (it’s ONLY been 10+ years…lol) i keep turning my head to just make sure it’s still able to do it!

I am a “fixer upper”

Next Tuesday is my last time doing equine (“horse”) therapy for this season…I’m so bummed! I recently missed 2 weeks due to the weather, & by the end of this week’s session, I was too tired to even move my right arm, & I had to tilt my chair, cuz sitting straight was too much work for my abs! however, the 2 weeks previous (that I’d missed) had been full of therapy: something i love about mk is that if i develop a new skill, he capitalizes on it. no matter how minor a movement is, it does not go to waste with him! every little new movement he has me strengthen it, & he finds a way to use it to build my independence, so he has helped me frequently practice push-ups!

I can’t underestimate how valuable the support is from family & friends. For example, my speech wouldn’t improve nearly as quickly, if others didn’t allow me to speak, & try so hard to understand my words (which is no small task for them, but I’m encouraged to speak more, every time I’m understood)!

In my church, we have the largest women’s organization (called “relief society”). each woman, along with a companion, is assigned at least 2 other women to visit at least once a month, & help her, however she may require assistance (they are called “visiting teachers”). often, if it’s needed (like say u are sick or moving) they bring meals, or assist with childcare or clean a home. (in fact, currently I help organize this in my calling/volunteer “job” –we don’t hire people, & instead, every member pitches in to make the church function as a whole.). my visiting teachers went a step farther & in the past, they have come weekly to help me do therapy. other church friends visit & give me more opportunities to talk, while others have helped me when a helper was ill & mk was working, or when mk was away for a weekend– sleeping here, feeding & pottying me, doing therapy & helping me. (if u want to learn more about my faith, visit http://www.mormon.org. )

I truly feel blessed for the people in my life! As they say in the movie Frozen, I am a “fixer upper” & “you can fix this fixer upper with a little bit of love”.