Recovery

7/18/06

FIA IS A GREAT CHEERLEADER. HER JOB 4 THERAPY IS 2 HOLD A RECORDER (SHE HAS ONLY DONE IT 3X), & I TRY 2 BLOW. IF I MAKE NOISE, SHE CHEERS! SHE LOVES 2 FEED ME & SIT ON MY LAP, WHETHER RIDING/MOVING OR NOT. HER LATEST THING IS 2 OPEN MY CAR DOOR & ACTUALLY TRY 2 LIFT ME OUT OF R CAR! WHEN I STROKED, SHE WAS BARELY 2 YRS. OLD. I OFTEN WONDER ABOUT R BOND, & IF SHE REMEMBERS HER MOM BEFORE HER STROKE. IN MY EDUCATION, I LEARNED HOW VITAL THE 1ST 5 YRS. OF LIFE R. I WORKED HARD 4 MY OLDER 2, SO IS THAT WHERE FIA HAS DEVELOPED A LOVE 4 READING (FROM HER SIBLINGS)? BUT JESS IS NOT A READER’OH! SHE ‘READS’ 2 ME 2!

WE PLANNED 2 GO 2 SAN ANTONIO WED. (ZOO) & THURS. (THURS. MORNING BREAKFAST W/SHAMU 4 MY FAM., MIKE, & MIKE’S GIRL) & HAVE A HOTEL. NOW MIKE’S TEMPLE ENDOWMENTS R TUES., & MARK HAS LENGTHENED R HOTEL STAY & WE DRIVE DOWN TUES. (TODAY). I WILL BE THERE, THOUGH IT IS HARD. MY FRIEND, EMILY, WENT W/ME LAST TIME, SO I TALKED 2 HER, & SHE LEFT IT IN MY HANDS BUT SAID THINGS THAT RE-ASSURED ME. I GUESS THE SESSION IS AT 6. I’M MIKE’S GIRLFRIEND, LEORA, WILL WATCH MY KIDS’ AT CHUCK-E-CHEESE.

ZACH’S B-DAY

TODAY IS ZACH’S B-DAY. IN 2004 I BLINK SPELLED “HAPPY BIRTHDAY.” IN 2005, I SIGNED IT. MY GOAL WAS 2 SAY IT THIS YEAR. I CAN’T. I CAN SAY A FEW THINGS SLURRED & UNRECOGNIZABLE WHEN I SIGN. I HAVE BETTER CONTROL 2 ATTEMPT 2 SAY STUFF WHEN I WANT, BUT APHASIA USUALLY WINS & I HAVE 2 WAIT 4 “THE RT. BREATH” WHICH STINKS SINCE NOT ANY BREATH WILL DO & I ALREADY HAVE 2 WAIT 4 A BREATH, SINCE I CAN’T SPONTANEOUSLY SPEAK & HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHEN THAT BREATH WILL COME. THERE’S PROGRESS, ESP. MUCH THAT’S UNNOTICED WHERE BREATHING’S CONCERNED, JUST NOT 2 THE DEGREE I’D HOPED.

THINGS YOU MISSED

WELCOME TO MY NEWLY REDESIGNED SITE!

THIS IS MY FIRST POST IN MONTHS.

HERE IS WHAT YOU MISSED SINCE I’VE BEEN GONE:

I DISCOVERED I HAVE PBA, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY I CAN’T CONTROL MY LAUGHING/CRYING, & IF I HAVE AN EMOTION, IT’S AMPLIFIED. TEARS/LAUGHTER R NOT ALWAYS PROPORTIONAL 2 HOW I FEEL. PBA IS A HUGE PART OF MY DAILY LIFE & INTERFERES W/SOOO MUCH! PEOPLE THINK THEY UNDERSTAND IT, BUT EVEN I CAN’T UNDERSTAND IT!

GUESS WHAT I DID THAT WAS SO COOL! I WAS LOOKING AT A BOOK JESSIE MADE AT SCHOOL ON THE ELEVATOR. IT DROPPED, BUT THE ELVATOR WALL MADE IT STOP AT MY FOOT, & I BENT OVER & PICKED IT UP! I WAS SOOO PROUD! I HAVE STARTED BENDING ON THE ELEVATOR-4 SOME REASON IT’S EASIER-2 FIX THE BOTTOMS OF MY CAPRIS & MY SOCKS…

I BEGAN MUSIC THERAPY, & WAS ASKED:

How is therapy?

WELL, I SAID A CLEAR “HI” 2 MY MOM. I ALWAYS TRY, BUT 4 THE 1ST TIME IT WAS RECOGNIZED & IDENTIFIED, THANKS 2 MUSIC THERAPY. I CAN’T SAY IT ON COMMAND, BUT SOMETIMES THAT & “UH-HUH” POP OUT. IT’S EXCITING, & I TRY NOT 2 CRY FROM EXCITEMENT!

LEFT EYE

SUNDAY WHEN I WOKE, IT FELT LIKE I HAD EYE BOOGERS OR SAND IN MY LEFT EYE, BUT I WAS 2 WEAK 2 REACH MY EYE. MARK & A FRIEND AT CHURCH ASKED ME IF I WAS OK-MY EYE WAS ALL RED. I FELT FINE, BUT AT THE EBD OF CHURCH (3 HOURS), I WAS STRUGGLING 2 KEEP MY LEFT EYE OPEN. MARK TOOK OUT MY CONTACTS, & I WAS REMINDED WHY, 4 MANY REASONS, I HATE GLASSES SO MUCH. BY THE TIME MY FRIEND VISITED, I COULD BARE;Y OPEN MY EYE, SO EVEN THOUGH I USUALLY REFUSED OTHERS PRESCRIPTION MEDS & MARK HAD GIVEN ME ALLERGY MEDS (WHICH I FELT WAS PART OF MY PROB.), SOMETHING MORE WAS WRONG. AFTER MY FRIEND REASSURED ME HER PRESCRIPTION MEDS 4 PINK EYE WAS CLEAN, I HAD HER GIVE ME SOME. IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER, BUT A COUPLE HOURS LATER AT MY PARENT’S HOUSE, IT KILLED 2 OPEN MY EYE. SINCE I COULDN’T OPEN 1 EYE ALONE, THERE I SAT BY THE FRONT DOOR, UNMOVING & EYES CLOSED.

WHEN WE WENT HOME EARLY, I HAD 2 SOMEHOW TYPE & SEND SOME EMAILS BY MON. (I HAVE 20+ EMAILS-SOME FROM 12/20 & ABOUT 5 JOURNAL ENTRIES W/REMINDER NOTES 2 FILL IN LATER, SO WHILE I’M SWAMPED, THESE HAD 2 BE DONE THAT NIGHT) SO AFTER SOME MEDS, I LET MY EYE REST SOME, THEN MANAGED 2 OPEN MY RT. EYE & SLOWLY GO FROM MY ROOM, DOWN AN ELEVATOR (WHICH I CAN DO ALONE NOW!), 2 MY COMP. & TYPE THOSE EMAILS. ALL WAS DONE W/MY LEFT EYE CLOSED & WATERING, MY RT. EYE OPEN. IT MADE ME SO SICK 2 MY TUMMY, I WAS SURE I WOULD THROW-UP & WROTE A HURRIED LAST EMAIL, THEN WENT 2 BED AROUND 9:40. I DIDN’T SLEEP AT ALL. IT HURT SO BAD-MY EYE WATERED & IT FELT LIKE DAGGERS IN MY EYE. U WOULD THINK THIS WAS A CAKEWALK AFTER MY GUTS WERE PULLED OUT REMOVING THE FEEDING TUBE & BEING AWAKE WHEN I WAS CUT OPEN 4 A SURGERY, BUT THE PAIN WAS DIFF.

MON. I SAW A DOCTOR, & PAIN IS AGAIN BEARABLE & I CAN OPEN MY EYE SOME, THOUGH IT IS HARD 2 SEE RT. & TYPING/READING IS SLOWER.

MISC.

SINCE PEOPLE KEEP ASKING, WE HAVE NO DATE THAT I AM AWARE OF, BUT VERY SOON WE CAN BRING A FEW THINGS TO GRADUALLY MOVE–R SWIM-SPA/MY THERAPY POOL IS FILLED & HEATED -BUT WE WANT TO SURPRISE THE KIDS BY BEING DONE W/THEIR ROOMS 1ST.

1 GOOD THING, SINCE I AM SO SLOW TYPING, RATHER THAN SEND OUT A BUNCH OF E-MAILS, I CAN JUST SAY SOME STUFF ON HERE. FOR EX.: THERE IS A YACKTMAN FAMILY REUNION IN DEC. HERE. BASICALLY, I THINK I WILL GET TO SEE MY SIBLINGS MORE!

IN A COMMENT, A WEBSITE WAS POSTED. I AM ON A YAHOO GROUP FOR YOUNG STROKE SURVIVORS & THIS WAS HIGHLY TALKED ABOUT-I READ IT NOW-1ST LET ME SAY THANKS! 2ND, LET ME SAY THIS WON’T HELP ME. THANK GOODNESS! BESIDES ME HATING TO FEEL MORE ROBOTIC & LESS HUMAN, I CAN GRIP. I JUST LACK STRENGH. BUT I HAVE PICKED TINY THINGS OFF MY PANTS (WHICH PEOPLE CAN’T SEE, SO IT USUALLY ENDS UP ON THE FLOOR). AS FOR MY LEFT ARM, UNLESS I AM LAYING DOWN, THERE IS NO MOVEMENT. FROM MY LT. ELBOW DOWN, I HAVE HAD NO MOVEMENT AT ALL, & THIS REQUIRES MOVEMENT. BUT THANKS-I LIKE KNOWING WHAT I COULD DO.