Recovery

I SUCK!

WHEN I DISCOVERED I COULD SUCK, I STATED THAT THIS "opens worlds for me.” 2 EXPAND ON THAT THOUGHT:

I USE A SPECIAL SQUEEZE BOTTLE 2 DRINK. IT'S ACTUALLY MEANT 4 FOOTBALL PLAYERS WHEN THEIR HELMETS R ON. I NEED IT 2 HAVE ANY LIQUIDS, BECAUSE THEN LIQUIDS R SQUEEZED IN MY MOUTH, WHICH I SWALLOW. I BEGAN W/DROPS OF LIQUID, SO THESE GULPS SEEM HUGE.

ANYWAY, WHY I SAID THIS "opens worlds for me”:

• IT GIVES MY FAMILY FREEDOM. IF WE R ASKED SPONTANEOUSLY BY SOME1 2 GO 2 DINNER, WE CAN GO & NOT CHECK 1ST IF I HAVE MY CUP, & IF IT'S NOT THERE, I DON'T HAVE 2 BE THE "BAD GUY" WHO SAYS NO BECAUSE I NEED 2 DRINK IF THE FOOD IS DRY & IF THE FOOD IS STICKING 2 THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH.
• I CAN GO PLACS & NOT WORRY IF MY CUP IS THERE. I CAN TAKE SM. SIPS WHENEVER & WHEREVER–FAST DURING A MEAL, IF I'M AT CHURCH, MOVIE THEATER (CAN'T WAUT 2 TRY W/POPCORN).
• I CAN HAVE SODA POP, IF I DESIRE IT.

I’M NOT GREAT–1 SIP IS SMALL, HARD 2 DO, & TAKES A WHILE. I DOUBT IT'S STRONG ENOUGH 4 A MILKSHAKE (WHO CARES—COLD STUFF GIVES ME A BRAIN FREEZE ANYWAY!) BUT THAT IS HOW IT ALWAYS STARTS: SMALL. THEN I PRACTICE. I JUST NEED THE ABILITY…AFTER ALL, EVERYTHINNG I DO, STARTED W/JUST MOVING ATHUMB!

I JUST GOT A A CUP W/A STRAW THAT HOOKS 2 MY W/C, SO I CAN PRACTICE SUCKING. (IT'S NOW A COMPLIMEMT 2 SAY, :I SUCK!") I THINK I'll BECOME A BIGGER MOVIE FAN NOW, SINCE I CAN PRACTICE FOR 2 HRS. STRAIGHT! COINCIDENTLY,WE MADE THE STRAW REQUIRE ME 2 ALSO PRACTICE TURNING MY HEAD THE DIRECTION THAT'S HARDER 4 ME, & PROB. ALSO STRENGTHENS MY NECK!

BEING BUSY

SORRY. WAS TYPING 2 MUCH 2 FIND TIME 2 TYPE A POST.

I OFTEN STRESS ABOUT HOW BUSY I AM. I CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW BUSY I CAN GET BUT MY WORKLOAD SEEMS 2 DOUBLE, DUE 2 TYPING W/1 FINGER & DOUBLE VISION. I DO NOT SIT DOWN & WRITE A POST—BBESIDES ALWAYS SITTING (HA! HA! I AM EITHER "BAD"—YOUR FAULT, DAD–OR HILARIOUS!), I TAKE DAYS 2 TYPE STUFF:

I BEGIN W/CHOPPY THOUGHTS. NOTES, REALLY, 2 LATER SPARK MY MEMORY. I ADD A LITTLE EVERYTIME I READ IT, ESP. ADDING WORDS I CONSIDERED UN-IMPORTANT, AT 1ST.

BUT I'VE DECIDED 2 TURN OVER A NEW LEAF, & STRESS LESS & RECALL LESS 2 STRESS ABOUT TYPING. I STARTED 2 RECENTLY RECALL LESS, & I WAS DELIGHTED 2 C HOW A STRESSFUL, BUSY DAY, BECAME A DAY W/FREE TIME 2 SCRAP A PG. IN MY MIND!

THING IS, I REALIZED THAT NOT 2 LONG AGO, I WASN'T BUSY, & OH, HOW POINTLESS IT FELT 2 BE ALIVE, WHEN I COULDN'T EVEN WATCH TV WELL, DUE 2 MY VISION. BUSINESS IS A BLESSING, & I FELT I SHOULD ENJOY, INSTEAD OF STRESS, THAT I HAVE REGAINED ENOUGH 2 ACTUALLY FEEL BUSY AGAIN! & THOUGH I'M GREATLY LIMITED NOW, I FEEL MY LIFE ISN'T POINTLESS. I WOULD PREFER FEELING BUSY, SO I'VE DECIDED 2 ENJOY THAT FEELING.

FIA

IN MY EDUCATION, I LEARNED HOW VITALL THE 1ST 5 YRS. OF LIFE ARE, SO ITT CAN ONLY BE IMAGINED HOW I LAMENTED4 FIIA'S CHILDHOOD, AS SHE WAS BARELY 2 YRS. WHENN I STROKED..BUT BECAUSE OF IIT, SHE'S RECIEVED MORE QUALITY TIME FROM ME (I ACTUALLY PLAY TEA PARTY & BEAUTY PARLOR, & WHEN SHE'S LEFT OUT OF THE BIGGER KIDS PLAY, SHE KNOWS SHE CAN ASK, "MOM, WILL U PLAY W/ME?") & SHE"S BEEN FORCED 2 FIGURE THINGS OUT ON HER OWN (LIKE READING), SINCE I CAN'T ANSWER OR DO THINGS. SHE'S REALLY ADAPTED & IS SO VERY BRIGHT.

I REALIZED SHE ALSO PROVIDES ME CONSTANT THERAPY THROUGH DAILY LIVING: SHE SINGS W/ME & HAS ME MIMIC HER, SO I PRAACTICE SPEECH. I'VE BEEN PRACTICING PUCKERING BY KISSING. I PRACTICE HORIZONTAL ARM MOVT. THROUGH SPANKING (FIA LOVES ME 2 SPANK HER, BECAUSE I DON'T HURT, & IS ALARMED BY ANY INCREASE IN STRENGTH). FIA HAS TOLD ME THAT MY SPANKING HAS RECENTLY GOTTEN HARDER—WHICH CORRELATES 2 MY ABILITY 2 REACH & GET STUFF FROM MY CRAFT TABLE, SINCE I USE SOME OF THE SAME MUSCLES!

SPEAKING OF FIA, SHE IS DOING SO WELL WITH HER SIGN LANGUAGE…SHE COUDN’T FIND WHAT COLOR CHURCH SHOES 2 WEAR. I KNEW FIA WOULD UNDERSTAND 1 WORD LIKE “WHITE” OR “BLACK” IN SIGN. BUT NEITHER RELALY MATCHED, & SHE KNEW HER SILVER SHOE AS A 3 LETTER WORD: “DISCO BALL SHOES.” HOW COULD I TELL HER? FIGURING I WAS WASTING TIME, BUT SHE EXPECTED AN ANSWER, SO I SIGNED/SPELLED “DISCO” (CERTAIN THE WORD WAS 2 HARD, BUT WAS SHOCKED WHEN SHE GOT IT), THEN “BALL,” THEN JUST “S.” SHE FIGURED IT OUT: DISCO BALL SHOES!

SHE'S ACTUALLY ALMOST 2 SMART—SHE LOVES 2 PLAY THE "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR SAYING" CARD (SINCE SHE CAN BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S TRUE), BUT WHEN I SEND HER 2 BED, SHE'S SMART ENOUGH 2 CHANGE THE WORDS 2 BENEFIT HER ("GO 2 BEAD , SOPHIA? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR SAYING!")

WED.

IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I POSTED HOW I AM PHYSICALLY DOING. THERE'S BEEN NO SPECTACULAR THINGS, LIKE WALKING, BUT MY SISTER WHO ONLY SEES ME OCCASSIONALLY, AS WELL AS FRIENDS AT CHURCH & MY MUSIC THERAPIST, WHO C ME WEEKLY, C CHANGES. —THINGS LIKE “I JUST LOOK BETTER” (I’M GUESSING MORE TONE), I RAISE MY ARM HIGHER & I SEEM STRONGER, & I BREATHE BETTER & AM MORE VOCAL. WED., IN MUSIC THERAPY, I WAS ASKED A QUES., & ANSWERED "I DON'T KNOW" ("I O U") AS I SHRUGGED. I ACTUALLY SAY SEVERAL THINGS NOW, (LIKE “I DON’T KNOW.” W/ONLY VOWELS), ONLY IT JUST “POPS OUT” ON OCCASION, AS I SIGN IT. I CAN'T ALWAYS DO IT ON COMMANDD—I SEEM 2 "FREEZE UP."MY MOST COMMON 1S R "HI" ("I"), "BYE" ("IE"), “I LOVE U” (“I O U”), “YES” (“YEA”—LOVE THIS 1 BECAUSE I CAN ANSWER A QUES. IF A BACK IS 2 ME, O THEY R IN THE NEXT ROOM), & “THANK U” (“A U”). IN MUSIC THERAPY, I HELP SING "OLD MCDONALD" ("EIEIO" & "MOO"). LIKE MOST PARENTS WHO UNDERSTAND THEIR CHILD & OTHERS DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHILD, MARK OFTEN UNDERSTANDS ME.

PBA

I REALIZED THESE TRIGGERS 2 MY PBA RECENTLY:

I'VE LEARNED MANY TRICKS 2 STOP MY TEARS, WHEN I''M SIGNALED A WARNING SIGN THAT TEARS R COMING, BUT I HAVE 2 BE VERY CAUTIOUS & NOT ALLOW ME 2 BE EMOTIONAL, RT. B4 I GO SOMEWHERE EMOTIONAL, LIKE, SAY, CHURCH—OTHERWISE, MY EMOTIONS WILL BE OUT OF WHACK, & LAUGHTER/TEARS THAT I NORMALLY COULD CONTROL, I CAN'T CONTROL, AS WELL.

I HAVE ALSO DISCOVERED THAT I LAUGH HARDER AT TIMES BECAUSE I HEAR SOME1 EXPRESS PRECISELY WHAT I'D THOUGHT, BUT WASN'T GOING 2 BOTHER 2 FINGERSPELL IT. (SOMETIMES, THOUGH, IT ISN'T SAID, SO I LAUGH 2 MYSELF, AS I "THINK SOMETHING FUNNY IN MY HEAD.")