Church

Music and the Spoken Word

I WAS SO EXCITED 2 FIND A WEBSITE 4 Music and the Spoken Word . EVERY SUNDAY, I LISTEN, & MY FAV. PART IS THE 5-10 MIN. MESSAGE. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THE LAST MESSAGE, “THE POWER OF PATIENCE.” OTHER FAV.: “SPRING CLEANING” & “FROM CHAOS 2 CONTENTION.”

IRONICALLY, HEARING THE RECENT MESSAGE WAS EXTREMELY SIMILAR 2 SOMETHING I'D WRITTEN RECENTLY 4 CHURCH, BUT THEY SAY IT BETTER THAN I WOULD, SO HERE'S SOME STUFF I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREED WITH:

"—When our dreams collide with our limitations, do resilience and a little humor accompany our efforts? —Patience doesn't make the problems go away— there's power in patience that makes us equal to the task. "

PBA
    AN EDUCATIONAL MOMENT:

I HAVE A STROKE-RELATED CONDITION CALLED PBA (AS EXPLAINED AT http://www.pseudobulbar.com/ & ALSO CALLED PSEUDOBULBAR AFFECT, PATHOLOGICAL LAUGHING AND CRYING, EMOTIONAL LABILITY, OR EMOTIONAL INCONTINENCE). IT'S A RESULT OF THE STROKE, BUT NOT STROKE-RELATED. IT EXPLAINS WHY I CAN'T CONTROL MY LAUGHING/CRYING, & IF I HAVE ANY SMALL EMOTION, IT'S AMPLIFIED.

      TEARS/LAUGHTER R NOT ALWAYS PROPORTIONAL 2 HOW I FEEL.

        4 EX., I CAN LAUGH/CRY WHEN I FEEL NOTHING OR DO NOT LAUGH/CRY WHEN I WANT. ANOTHER EX. IS THAT IFI MENTALLY KNOW IT'S STUPID 2 REACT, I MAY STILL LAUGH/CRY. YET ANOTHER EX. IS I CAN LAUGH WHEN I WANT 2 CRY, & VICE VERSA. PBA IS A HUGE PART OF MY DAILY LIFE & INTERFERES W/SOOO MUCH, BUT I IMAGINE IT'S ALSO HARD 4 MY FAMILY BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN IF THE EMOTION IS REAL! (IMAGINE GETTING HURT, & I LAUGH!) THE WORDS "I UNDERSTAND" R MEANT 2 EMPATHIIZE, BUT CAN BE FRUSTRATING BECAUSE EVEN I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!

        WHEN I AM MADE 2 CRY LOUD, LIKE I WOULD W/PUBLIC SPEAKING, I CAN'T SIGN OR THINK CLEARLY. I DON'T THINK LIKE I AM USED 2 THINKING–WORDS R OFTEN LOST & IT'S NOT UNTIL LATER THAT I CAN SAY WHAT I THINK. MY MEMORY'S ALSO WORSE, SO I CAN'T TYPE & RECALL WHAT I WROTE. I PREFER 2 TYPE & LEAVE WHILE IT'S READ–NOT 2 "HIDE," BUT SO IT'S HEARD (SINCE I'M SO LOUD).

        WHEN I DO SPEAK, PEOPLE EXPECT GREATNESS, BUT AS I SAID PREVIOUSLY, WORDS R HARDER 2 THINK OF NOW. I’M NOT ELOQUIENT…NEVER WAS B4! PRESIDENT THOMAS S. MONSON, IN THE LDS (MORMON) 1ST PRESIDENCY OF THE CHURCH, SAID: “You can share—in many ways—by the words you speak, by the example you set, by the manner in which you live your life.” I DO IT BY HOW I LIVE &/OR EXAMPLE.

        WHEN I SIGN AT HOME, THEY R SHORT, CONSISTING OF 2-3 SENTENCES. THEY HAVE 2 BE SHORT. I CAN’T SIGN WHAT I’D TYPE–PEOPLE CAN’T LISTEN THAT LONG (AS I SLOWLY FINGERRSPELL OUT SENTENCES). ALSO, WHAT I SAY IS VERY GENERIC. HAS 2 BE, SO I CAN SOMEWHAT CONTROL MY PBA. IT'S A REAL DILEMNA!

        IN CHURCH (U'LL UNDERSTAND IF U R LDS), MARK HAS OFFERED 2 TRANSLATE MY ASL IF I WANT 2 BEAR MY TESTIMONY, BUT PEOPLE WHO DO IT, DO IT BECAUSE THE SPIRIT SAYS 2 DO IT & GUIDES WHAT 2 SAY. I HAVE 2 PUT UP A WALL, BECAUSE OF PBA, SO I DON’T GET THATDESIRE OR GUIDANCE. USUALLY, IF I ALLOW THE SPIRIT 2 BE THERE, I CRY & HOWL LIKE NO1 IMAGINES (I CALL IT MY “PBA-FEST”), SO MARK MAY NOT BE HEARD, & THE PRIDE I HAVE IS DAMAGED THROUGH EMBARRASSMENT (I RARELY ALLOW IT BECAUSE I HATE 2 BE SUCH A SPEKTLE)!

THURS.

I WALKED 2DAY!

I WAS DOING A USUAL SWIM THERAPY W/5 LB. WEIGHTS ON MY ANKLES 2 KEEP MY FEET DOWN, & WALKING ACROSS THE POOL (WHICH USUALLY CONSISTS OF ME STEPPING W/MY RT. FT., THEN MARK-WHO’S BEHIND ME, HOLDING ME-KICKING MY LT. LEG FORWARD, AFTER I BEND IT.) & WAS THINKING OF SOMETHING ELSE (I HAVE A HARDER TIME SPEAKING WHEN I TRY-I ‘THINK 2 MUCH’) & TOOK AN AMAZING STEP W/MY LT. FT.

IT WAS SO ALARMING, MARK ASKED IF I JUST STEPPED W/MY LT. FT. I KNEW I HAD, BUT WAS UNSURE HOW. 2 MY RELIEF I DID IT MANY TIMES (BUT STILL WONDER IF I CAN DO IT AT THE NEXT SWIM THERAPY) BUT I HAD 2 RELY ON THE KNOWLEDGE IT WAS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE I’D DONE IT ONCE B4. NO SUBSEQUENT STEP WAS AS NICE-SOMEHOW THAT 1st STEP (I USED A DIFFERENT HIP MUSCLE & TOOK A ‘REAL’ STEP- SUBSEQUENT STEPS I HAD 2 TIPPY-TOE 2 BEND), BUT I MADE BOTH FEET MOVE! NOW IF ONLY MY TRUNK SUPPORT WAS THERE!

ABOUT MY ENSIGN ARTICLE, I FILLED OUT STUFF & IT DOESN’T GAURANTEE MY ARTICLE WILL BE PRINTED, BUT A HEFTY FEE IS PAID SO THEY CAN USE IT WHENEVER THEY CHOOSE. HOWEVER, I’M TERRIBLE AT KEEPING SECRETS, SO IT’S A GOOD THING I WASN’T TOLD WHEN I’D BE PUBLISHED! I JUST KNOW THEY CAN EDIT IT 2 FIT. ANY1 WHO KNOWS ME WELL, OR MY TESTIMONY, WILL KNOW IT WHEN THEY C THE TITLE-WHICH CHANGED 4 TIMES! UF U R NOT LDS/MORMON, WHEN/IF IT COMES OUT, I’LL POST A LINK-I ALWAYS USE THEIR AUDIO FILES.

MY MAIN CONCERN IS THAT PEOPLE WILL THINK I WRITE ELOQUENTLY IF I TRY. I DON’T! REMEMBER I SAID THIS SAME ARTICLE WAS DENIED? THE MEAT WAS THERE ON BARE BONES. MY PARENTS SAW POTENTIAL & PICKED ME UP. MY MOM & MY BROTHER MIKE (CURRENTLY SERVING A MISSION 4 R CHURCH IN FINLAND) PUT FLESH ON THOSE BONES (1 PG. BECAME 2 & I ENSURED IT WAS STILL ‘MY WORDS’). LISA (MY OLDEST FRIEND-A PEN-PAL AT 12 YRS.) & MARK EDITED. IT WAS ACTUALLY MARK WHO INSPIRED THE FINAL TITLE, WHICH GAVE ME THE MOST GRIEF. SO, I DON’T STAND ALONE!

PUBLISHED AGAIN!

I STARTED WRITING AN ARTICLE THE WEEKEND ZACH WAS BAPTIZED-AUG. 2005. I HAVE HAD SOME HELP EXPANDING MY THOUGHTS & EDITING, & LAST NIGHT I FOUND OUT I’LL BE PUBLISHED IN A CHURCH MAGAZINE, THE ENSIGN! I’M SO GLAD-I FELT THIS SHOULD BE SHARED–& IT WAS TURNED DOWN ORIGINALLY (REMINDING ME OF MY TEEN YRS. WHEN I ENTERED A NEW ERA, ANOTHER CHURCH MAGAZINE, CONTEST). ODDLY, NEITHER PUBLICATION-THE ARTICLE OR MY SCRAPBOOK PG.–WOULD HAVE HAPPENED W/O HAVING MY STROKE! IN ORDER 2 KEEP IT SOMEWHAT A SURPRISE, I’M NOT SHARING MORE THAN THE KNOWLEDGE 2 LOOK 4 ME IN THE CHURCH MAGAZINE, THE ENSIGN . AREN’T I MEAN?

PICS OF TRUNK OR TREAT

I’M A FREAKIN’ TEXAN!

GRANTED, I CAN’T MOVE & HAVE POOR CIRCULATION, BUT I USED 2 MAKE IT TO 50 DEGREES B4 I GOT COLD-NOW IT’S 70 DEGRES! (AROUND 71 DEGREES!) AGAIN ,I SAY, I’M A FREAKIN’ TEXAN!

FRI. WE WENT 2 TRUNK OR TREAT AT CHURCH AGAIN. THERE WAS NO FISHING OFF THE BACK OF THE TRUCK THIS YEAR, BUT 1 VAN ‘RAN OVER’ SOME1 & HAD A CSI THEME. I GUESS THAT WAS LIKED, BECAUSE THE NEXT VAN PUT NOT JUST PANTS, BUT A REAL PERSON UNDER THEIR VAN! TURN-OUT WAS AMAZING (100 KIDS?). IT WAS WINDY, BUT I LASTED IN MY COSTUME ALONE UNTIL THE SUN WENT DOWN & IT WAS ABOUT 66 DEGREES. i came prepared w/a blanket & shawl! LOL & FIA, SITTING ON MY LAP, MAKES ME WARMER. STILL, I ENDURED ENOUGH COLD & A RUNNY NOSE, SO I OPTED 2 NOT TRICK OR TREAT ON THE ACTUAL HOLIDAY.

AS 4 COSTUMES, FIA WAS ARIEL (& COULD SING ARIEL SONGS-SHE PRACTICED!), JESS & ZACH WERE FROM LORD OF THE RINGS-JESS WAS ARWEN & ZACH A RING WRATH, MARK A COWBOY, & I WAS NOT JUST ANY CHEERLEADER, AS MANY THOUGHT, BUT I WAS SANDRA DEE FROM GREASE.

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I LOVE THE MOVIE GREASE-DID U NOTICE THE “R” 4 RYDELL HIGH?- & HAVE BEEN JOKED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL I WAS SANDRA DEE (OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN) ; BECAUSE I LOOKED LIKE HER & MY HAIR WAS STRAIGHT IN THE DAY, BUT CURLY, LIKE HERS, WHEN I PERFORMED AT NIGHT!

HOWEVER, MARK POINTED OUT HOW I WAS LIKE THE C SUPERHERO CHEERLEADER WHO COULDN’T DIE FROM THE TV SHOW “HEROS.” HAVE U SEEN HERO? IF SO, IT’D MAKE MORE SENSE. THERE WAS A SMALL CHANCE I’D LIVE FROM MY STROKE, SO I FOUND THAT HILARIOUS, & WHENEVER THE SHOW’S PHRASE, “SAVE the Cheerleader–Save the world!”, WAS WHISPERED, I DIED LAUGHING!

AT CHURCH ON WED., I MEET THE 8 & 9 YR. OLD GIRLS 2X/MONTH. WE FOCUSED ON MANNERS & COURTESY THIS TIME. LET ME SHARE A FEW THINGS CONCERNING MANNERS & DISABLED/HANDICAPPED/ETC:

–The biggest courtesy is to not avoid a person who is different. It is a Little awkward at first, but those who do not have experience with people with disabilities will never feel comfortable until they just leave their comfort zone.

–AS A CARETAKER, MARK RAISED A GOOD POINT:
I dislike strangers approaching people with an obvious disability in public to satisfy their curiosity about why a person is in a wheel chair, blind, deaf, or whatever. How is that helpful to ask someone something so sensative in a public place, or from a stranger? SAY I’M IN THE MALL. I MAY NEED SOMETHING MOVED 2 MANUVER, BUT NO1 IN MY FAMILY SHOULD BE ASKED WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I SHOULD NOT BE STARED AT EITHER LIKE A CIRCUS FREAK!

–BE COURTEOUS & THOUGHTFUL-OPEN DOORS, ETC.

— WHEN C-ING A SHOW OR SOMETHING, DON’T STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.

—DON’T “BABY TALK,” TALK SLOW, OR TALK LOUD. REMEMBER, IT IS A COMMON MISTAKE 2 SIGN 2 ME–ASL is so they can understand me., NOT SO THEY CAN SIGN TO ME-IT IS A COMMON MISCONCEPTION!

—BE PATIENT—DISABLED R SLOW & OFTEN MAKE MISTAKES.

–Do not assume they can not participate in daily living activities because they have a disability.

–Ask before helping.

–FROM MARK, WHICH I LEFT IN, BECAUSE PASSENGERS IN A VEHICLE CAN COMMUNICATE THIS 2 DRIVERS: Do not park “momentarily” in handicapped spots- tons do this.

CAN I POST A PERSONAL COMPLAINT? I’M OFTEN ASKED ?S THEN PEOPLE RUN 2 MARK, MEANING WELL & BEING NICE, BUT I END UP DEALING W/THE MISCONCEPTION & APEARING 2 HAVE ‘CRIED WOLF.’ 4 EX., I CAN BE ASKED IF I’M COLD. MOST ANYTIME, IF I FEEL A CHILL — WHICH IS THE MAJORITY, I SIGN ‘SORT-OF.’ THIS DOES NOT MEAN I WANT A COAT! MY KIDS HAVE LEARNED THE ART OF ASKING ME THE RT. ?S & NOT ASSUMING EVEN THE ‘OBVIOUS’! WHEN I WANTED A COAT, I GOT 1, THANKS 2 THE HELP OF AN OBSERVANT SISTER-IN-LAW (SIL).