Church

Do you feel you could consider yourself lucky

RECENTLY, MY BROTHER ASKED ME, “Do you feel you could consider yourself lucky?” IT WAS A BAD DAY WHEN I WROTE, BUT I THOUGHT I SHOULD SHARE MY RESPONSE (IN ITALICS–KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS WAS WRITTEN W/A LDS “MORMON” PERSPECTIVE):

OVERALL I GUESS YES, I FEEL LUCKY, THOUGH LUCK IS NOT THE WORD I’D USE. WITHOUT MY STROKE, MY TESTIMONY PROBABLY WOULDN’T HAVE GROWN NEAR WHAT IT HAS, & I WOULDN’T HAVE NEARLY THE SAME RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. I HAVE MY SHARE OF ROUGH DAYS, BUT SO MUCH CHANGES WHEN U FIND YOURSELF RELYING ON THE SPIRIT 2 TELL OTHERS ABOUT YOUR BASIC NEEDS & WHEN U SPEND HOURS EACH MORNING LAYING IN BED, PRAYING, PONDERING, & SEEKING INSPIRATION. I GAURANTEE THESE WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF I COULD WALK & TALK!

A GOSPEL PERSPECTIVE MAKES ME REALLY LUCKY. IT CHANGES SO MUCH, & STRENGTHENS ME. I WAS SEVERELY CHALLENGED THAT 1ST YEAR, & I COULDN’T HAVE PULLED THROUGH W/O MK. I NEEDED 2 HEAR WHAT HE SAID. (U KNOW, “BEHIND EVERY GREAT (WOMAN) IS A GREATER (MAN).) 2 THIS DAY, HE HELPS ME KEEP THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE. I’M LUCKY 2 HAVE THAT.

I WAS PREPARED 4 THIS IN SO MANY WAYS. I HAD “SPIRITUAL FUEL” BUILT UP, LIKE THE FIVE WISE VIRGINS WHO HAD SUFFICIENT SPIRITUAL FUEL WHEN THEY NEEDED IT AND THE BRIDEGROOM CAME. (THERE IS A PARABLE IN THE BIBLE THAT MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH WHERE 10 VIRGINS ARE GIVEN THE HONOR TO ATTEND A WEDDING & ARE TOLD TO KEEP THEIR LAMPS FULL OF OIL SO THEY WILL BE PREPARED WHEN THE BRIDEGROOM COMES. SOME OF THEM ARE FOOLISH AND DON’T HAVE ENOUGH OIL & MISS OUT ON THE OPPORTUNITY. SOME ARE WISE AND HAVE ENOUGH OIL)

WHEN I HAD MY STROKE, I NEEDED ENOUGH SPIRITUAL FUEL TO GET THROUGH IT. I COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT ALONE THESE LAST 6 YEARS. THERE WERE DAYS IT FELT WAY TO HEAVY TO BEAR THINGS ALONE. LUCKILY, I WASN’T EMPTY-HANDED AND HAD “SPIRITUAL FUEL.” THERE WERE MANY WAYS THAT MY “LAMP WAS FILLED:”

THROUGH MY PREVIOUS CALLING AS PRIMARY CHORISTER, I HAD REALLY BUILT UP MY TESTIMONY. IN A WAY, IT WAS A “SPIRITUAL HIGH,” SO WHEN MY STROKE HIT SO SUDDENLY, WITHOUT ANY REASON OR WARNING, I WONDERED WHY BAD THINGS CAN HAPPEN WHEN WE FEEL WE ARE DOING SO WELL.

BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT I NEEDED A “FULL LAMP OF OIL,” AND SINCE I WAS OBEDIENT TO THE CALLING I HAD (JUST PRIOR TO MY STROKE), MY “LAMP” WAS OVERFLOWING WITH SPIRITUAL FUEL. IF IT EVER RAN LOW, I COULD JUST LISTEN TO MY KIDS SING THE TESTIMONY WE SHARED AND THAT I HAD TAUGHT THEM AND THAT WOULD REFILL MY LAMP.

• JUST TWO DAYS BEFORE MY STROKE, I HAD ACCEPTED AN ADDITIONAL CALLING TO BE THE GIRLS’ CAMP DIRECTOR. I WAS ALSO PREPARING AN EASTER SOLO FOR THE WARD CHOIR. AT THE TIME, I QUESTIONED WHY I NEEDED TO DO THESE THINGS IF THE LORD HAD KNOWN WHAT WAS IN STORE FOR ME. BUT THE STRENGTH I RECEIVED FROM MY TWO CALLINGS AND MY PARTICIPATION IN THE CHOIR WAS AMAZING. IT GAVE ME A WILL TO LIVE AND STRENGTH TO GET BETTER FOR ALL WHO COUNTED ON ME.

• IN ADDITION, MY FAMILY HAS ALWAYS DONE WELL TO IMPLEMENT FHE’S (FAMILY HOME EVENINGS–SOMETHING THAT WE DO EVERY MONDAY NIGHT AS A FAMILY WHERE WE HAVE A LESSON, SING SONGS & PRAY TOGETHER, HAVE AN ACTIVITY, ETC. IT ALLOWS US TO SHARE GOSPEL PRINCIPLES WE FEEL ARE IMPORTANT TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN IN A MORE CASUAL SETTING THAN CHURCH OR SUNDAY SCHOOL) AND WITH ME FEELING WELL OR NOT, THEY CARRIED ON. HOW MY LAMP WAS FILLED WHEN THE GOSPEL WAS BROUGHT TO ME IN THE HOSPITAL WHILE I WASN’T ABLE TO ATTEND CHURCH MYSELF. IT WAS AN ADDITIONAL STRENGTH TO HEAR OTHERS TESTIMONIES (WE SHARE OUR TESTIMONIES ON THE FIRST MONDAY OF THE MONTH IN OUR FHE) AND TO FOCUS ON SOMETHING BESIDE MYSELF.

• THE HABITS WE FORM ARE ALSO IMPORTANT. WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS UNEXPECTEDLY, WE SORT OF KICK INTO “AUTOMATIC MODE.” FHE WAS THAT WAY: IT WASN’T SOMETHING TO REMEMBER TO DO – WE JUST DID IT! ALSO, I DID ALL IN MY POWER TO RETURN TO CHURCH BECAUSE I HAD FAITHFULLY ATTENDED BEFORE, SO I JUST BELONGED THERE! SO DURING TIMES OF TRIAL, WHAT CAN WE DO TO SHOW THAT WE HAVE FAITH IN GOD?” KEEP OUR “LAMPS FILLED WITH OIL” BY CONTINUING TO PRAY, KEEP READING OUR SCRIPTURES, FAST, ATTEND THE TEMPLE, ETC. WE NEED TO BE LIKE THE FIVE WISE VIRGINS AND HAVE SUFFICIENT SPIRITUAL FUEL WHEN WE NEED IT BY “FILLING OUR LAMPS” NOW.

• I WAS ALSO FORTUNATE TO HAVE MY “LAMP FILLED” TIME AND TIME AGAIN BY MY ETERNAL COMPANION, MARK, AND BY THE PROMPTINGS OF THE HOLY GHOST. THERE WERE TIMES IT WAS DANGEROUSLY LOW AND MY “LAMP” WAS FILLED FOR ME. WHETHER MARRIED OR SINGLE, NO ONE IS EVER FORGOTTEN! EVEN IF THE PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH MESS UP, THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT GOD PERSONALLY KNOW US AND OUR TRIALS AND LEADS, PROTECTS, AND WATCHES OVER US.

ALSO, SEVERAL YEARS PRIOR 2 MY STROKE (SINCE I COULDN’T SIT STILL & JUST WATCH TV), DURING GENERAL CONFERENCE, I WOULD COLOR, CUT, & LAMINATE THINGS 4 MY PRIMARY CHORISTER CALLING, & 4 ME, AS A MOTHER. 1 THING WAS 4 “THE TEACHER IN ME”: I MADE TONS OF FILE FOLDER ACTIVTIES. SOME I KNEW WERE 2 TOUGH 4 THEM, BUT I HAD THE TIME THEN 2 MAKE THEM, & KNEW THEY’D GROW INTO THEM…THEY STILL HAVE THOSE FILES 2DAY! HOW FUN IT IS 2 POINT 2 MYSELF, WHEN FIA ASKS WHO MADE IT! I AM LUCKY THAT I WAS PROMPTED 2 DO MANY SMALL THINGS LIKE THAT!

LAST CHRISTMAS, MK MADE ME A “GREATEST HITS” CD OF SOLOS, PERFORMANCES, ETC. EVEN W/MISSING A FEW THINGS, I COULDN’T HELP BUT NOTICE HOW FULL MY LIFE WAS IN JUST A FEW SHORT YEARS…MOST PEOPLE COULDN’T ACCOMPLISH THAT MUCH IN ALIFETIME! SO, I WASN’T “SHAFTED.”

BASICALLY, I FEEL “LUCKY” ENOUGH TO HAVE HAD MY LAMP FULL BY THE EXPERIENCES THAT I HAD PRIOR 2 MY STROKE – AND THAT BY DOING MY WORK IN MY CALLINGS AND BY PREPARING THINGS AHEAD OF TIME FOR MY CHILDREN, I HAD BOTH THE SPIRITUAL STAMINA 2 GET THROUGH THAT DIFFICULT TIME AS WELL AS BE ABLE 2 ENJOY SEEING MY CHILDREN NOW USE THINGS THAT I CREATED FOR THEM (LIKE THE FILE FOLDERS).

AFTER THEN READING SOMETHING JACK RUSHTON (AN LDS MAN, PARALYZED FROM THE NECK DOWN) TYPED. AFTER I READ IT, THE COMMENT I MOST APPRECIATED WAS, “Lying in bed I truly feel handicapped, but in my chair, sitting upright, just think of what I can do. “ HOW TRUE THAT STATEMENT IS! IF U LOOK AT ME, I’M EXTREMELY INCAPABLE OF SO MUCH, BUT THOSE WHO KNOW ME ARE SHOCKED BY ALL THE “I CAN’S.” MANY OF THOSE IN MY CONDITION ARE LIMITED 2 A LIFETIME OF BLINKING, YET THEY “WRITE” BOOKS & DO OTHER FEATS THAT SEEM ALARMING. I AM INDEED LUCKY, BECUZ ALL I HAVE WAS GOD’S 2 TAKE AWAY, YET I WAS CHOSEN 2 HAVE JUST ENOUGH GIVEN BACK 2 DO SO MUCH MORE!

YOUNG WOMAN (YW)

AT CHURCH, I WAS RECENTLY ASKED 2 BE A YOUNG WOMAN (YW) INSTRUCTOR, 4 THE 1ST SUN., 4 ALL THE YW. . THIS IS MY 1ST “REAL” CALLING IN OVER 5 1/2 YRS. I CAN’T EXPLAIN ALL I FEEL, BUT I THOUGHT THESE CALLINGS WERE GONE W/MY VOICE!

THOUGH WE OWN IT, I RECENTLY TIVOED THE MOVIE “HITCH,” SO I COULD WATCH IT AT MY LEISURE. “HITCH” BEGINS W/A STATEMENT: “60% OF COMMUNICATION IS BODY LANGUAGE, 30% IS TONE, & ONLY 10% IS WORDS.” IF TRUE, WORDS PLAY LESS A PART IN TEACHING…BUT THOUGH I CAN’T BE VOCAL, I CAN STILL SIGN & TYPE—I JUST NEED 2 BE MORE SELECTIVE W/THE WORDS I CHOOSE 2 USE.

HOWEVER, W/MY FEW WORDS, I KNOW I CAN FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD, BECAUSE I WILL WRITE W/A CERTAIN TONE, WHICH IS L8R READ IN A DIFFERENT TONE, MAKING IT APPEAR FUNNIER OR MADDER THAN IT WAS INTENDED…I HEARD THIS EXACT POINT ILLUSTRATED IN AN AUDIO BOOK, AS THE AUTHOR REPEATED THE EXACT SAME PHRASE (LIKE “SHUT THE DOOR”) IN BOTH A MAD & ALSO IN AN ICKY SWEET TONE. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING HOW MUCH TONE AFFECTED THE EXACT SAME WORDS!

THOUGH I CAN’T USE TONE WELL, WE’VE TRIED CREATIVE WAYS 2 SHARE TONE (ASTERICKS IN THE SUBJECT LINE OF AN EMAIL, WARNING THAT I’M MAD, BOLDING WORDS IN ORDER 2 STRESS THEM, & SOMETIMES I COLOR CODE WORDS). THOUGH I HAVEN’T MASTERED TONE, I STILL HAVE 70% OF MY COMMUNICATION, & IF I’VE LEARNED ANYTHING, I TAKE WHAT I DO HAVE, & RUN W/IT!

THE RESULTS…

THX 4 THE PRAYERS—IT REALLY HELPED, & HELPED ME BATTLE PBA! IT WAS MY UNSEEN ARMY!

I MANAGED NOT 2 CRY–ACTUALLY, IT’S HOW U C IT: THERE WAS “SILENT CRYING.” BUT THERE WAS NO HOWLING, OR STRAIGHTENING MY LEFT LEG, OR ANYTHING.

THIS WAS A BIG DEAL—NOT JUST BECAUSE I COULD DO SOMETHING I LOVED & NEVER SAW AS POSSIBLE….& NOT BECAUSE THE ACTUAL PART MEANT SO VERY MUCH, BUT BECAUSE I DID WHAT I HAVE TRIED 2 DO FOR ALMOST 5 YRS.—WHICH WAS 2 NOT HAVE ACTUAL OUT LOUD TEARS, DRAWING ATTENTION 2 MYSELF. SO, 2 ME, IT WAS A SUCCESS!

REMEMBER THE LIST I STARTED LAST DEC., “BLESSINGS FROM A STROKE”? THOUGHT OF 3 MORE:
1. I CAN DISCIPLINE MY KIDS ANYWHERE—EVEN ON STAGE!
2. IF A ZIPPER BREAKS IN BACK, WHO CARES? NO1 CAN TELL! & STAPLES WORK WONDERS!
3. I CAN GIVE THE VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF THE WORDS, LIKE I SAID WAS NEAT IN MY ENSIGN ARTICLE (WHEN SONGS WERE SIGNED). (LIKE THE SIGN 4 “GOD”—A PALM STRETCHED HEAVENWARD, & EYES LOOK UP—IS JUST A NEAT VISUAL REPRESENTATION).

I’VE SLOWLY BEEN ADDING 2 IT, & AM APROACHING #50! I AM SHOCKED THERE’S THAT MANY, ESP. KNOWING THAT I’VE 4GOT SOME!

IN THE PLAY, THERE WAS 2 ANGEL LINES. THE 1ST LINE, I PLANNED 2 START SIGNING, BUT SINCE IT WAS 2 LONG, I’D “PASS THE TORCH” 2 JESS, SO SHE COULD READ THE REST. WHEN JESSIE READ, IT WAS THE HARDEST. I SILENTLY CRIED AT THE END…SHE WAS SO NERVOUS, & I WAS SO PROUD OF HER!

LAST X-MAS I MENTIONED HOW I RELATE 2 THIS SONG—NOT AS IF I WAS A HEAVENLY ANGEL, BUT THE HERE & NOW: “HANDEL’S DREAM” FROM THE UNFORGOTTEN CAROLS, BY MICHAEL McLEAN.

THE STORY IS ESSENTIALLY ABOUT AN ANGEL, WHO CAN’T SING (NEITHER CAN I, NOW, THOUGH I HEAR SONGS IN MY HEAD/HEART), BUT AUDITIONS ANYWAY, 2 ANNOUCE CHRIST’S BIRTH. I LOVE HIS STATEMENT THAT “IF U COULD HEAR WHAT’S IN MY HEART, U’D LET ME SING!”

HE’S LATER INFORMED THAT HE HAS A “DIFFERENT” VOICE (I BELIEVE I DO 2), & THAT SOMEDAY, HE WILL BE GIVEN A VOICE, & HEARD (I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT I WILL 2).

THAT NIGHT I WAS GIVEN A VOICE, & HEARD!

BUT, I WANTED THE FOCUS ON CHRIST, NOT ON ME. I’D REALLY PRAYED NOT 2 CRY, DESPITE MY EXTREME EMOTION— I REFUSED 2 LET MYSELF THINK OF “HANDEL’S DREAM,” BUT I TOTALLY FELT IT!

THANK U 4 YOUR HELP!

ENSIGN ARTICLE

I’M ONLINE! THIS IS HOW I “READ” IT, SO IT IS EXCITING 2 HEAR IT THERE. IT’S MORE “REAL”.

SO, IF U DO NOT GET THE LDS ENSIGN, U CAN LISTEN HERE: WWW.LDS.ORG>GOSPEL LIBRARY>MEDIA FORMATS>AUDIO>ENSIGN, SEPTEMBER 2008> PRIMARY SONGS BLESSED ME. HOW ODD 2 BE ONLINE, & HOW ODD 2 HEAR IT READ…IT’S DIFFERENT, BUT BETTER, THAN HOW I READ IT IN MY OWN HEAD!

SO NEAT 2 BE IN THERE, WHEN U WRITE AS I DO, BUT THERE WAS LOTS OF HELP: MK, MIKE, MY PARENTS, & OF COURSE, GOD. EVEN OTHERS, LIKE MY PEN-PAL, LISA, & MY SISTER-IN-LAW, NICOLE, HELPED ME SEARCH 4 A TITLE (BUT MK GETS THAT, & WHEN IT WAS SUGGESTED, IT HIT LIKE A TON OF BRICKS, & I THOUGHT, “DUH! WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!” BUT, I TRIED ALONE, & IT DIDN’T WORK.

THE STORY BEHIND THE ENSIGN ARTICLE

MY GIRLS HAVE BEEN SO CUTE, WORKING ON CRAFTS FOR 2 WEEKS, 4 ME, 2 PREPARE 4 MY B-DAY. I FEEL SO LOVED, & QUESTION “IS THERE A REASON? I JUST SIT IN A CHAIR!”

BUT, I SPEND LIKE 1-2 HRS. DIRECTING THEM 2 CLEAN, THEY READ ME STORIES, SIT ON MY LAP & PLAY COMP., I COLOR W/THEM, I PLAY GAMES (IN & SOMETIMES OUTSIDE), ETC. MAYBE THAT’S WHY…OR MAYBE IT’S SIMPLY COOL THAT THEIR MOM CAN’T SPANK HARD!

THOUGHT MY B-DAY COMING UP COULD GET NO BETTER THAN FEELING SO LOVED. I WAS WRONG:

ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO, MY VISITING TEACHER, WENDY, READ AN ARTICLE 2 ME IN THE ENSIGN. I WAS MOVED 2 SHARE MY OWN STORY ABOUT WHEN I WAS AN INDY PRI. CHORISTER, B4 MY STROKE, UP 2 THE 1ST 1 ½ YEARS AFTER MY STROKE (THE PRESENT DAY, AT THE TIME I WROTE).

AT 1ST, I WAS TURNED DOWN BY THE ENSIGN. THERE WAS STUFF THAT I KNEW SHOULD BE CHANGED IN MY ARTICLE, BUT I WASN’T SURE HOW 2 DO IT,. HOWEVER, I WAS STRONGLY IMPRESSED 2 LEAVE IT THERE, SOMEHOW… IT HAD SEEMED SO CERTAIN THAT, THOUGH THE TYPE WASN’T THE BEST, THE MESSAGE WAS GOOD ENOUGH 2 SHARE. I COULDN’T SHAKE THE NAGGING FEELING THAT I STILL NEEDED 2 SHARE MY MESSAGE…

MY PARENTS NUDGED ME 2 TRY AGAIN. MY WHOLE LIFE I’VE BEEN INITIALLY REJECTED—THEN, MY PARENTS ENCOURAGE ME 2 TRY AGAIN, & GOOD STUFF HAPPENS!

ANYWAY, MY YOUNGEST BRO., MIKE, TOOK MY MESSAGE (THE “MEAT”) & ADDED ALL THE “FILLER” STUFF. MK ASSITED W/SOME MONUMENTAL EDITING CHOICES. IT WAS HARD SEARCHING 4 A TITLE. MK SUGGESTED ONE THAT SEEMED 2 SIMPLE & OBVIOUS, BUT ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! I TRIED AGAIN . I WAS ACCEPTED BY THE ENSIGN, & TOLD JAN. 2008 IT’D BE PUBLISHED. I WAS THRILLED, BUT 4DECIDED 2 KEEP IT UNDER WRAPS. FEW KNEW.

INCREDIBLY, IT WAS MOVED 2 SEPT.–I HAD NO IDEA WHY, BUT WAS TOLD 2 CHECK IN AUG…. I DID, & WAS TOLD THIS:

It’s good to hear from you. Your article titled “Primary Songs Blessed Me,” is, in fact, scheduled for September. In fact, I believe it’s at press right now. My notes show that it will be on p. 55 of the magazine.

The reason for the shift in scheduling was that the Liahona decided to run the article as well. Their publication timeline requires a little bit of extra time for translation and production, so that’s why we moved it to September.

SO, I’LL BE IN THE LIAHONA & ENSIGN–NOT ONE, BUT TWO MAGAZINES. & THE LIAHONA IS AN INTERNATIONAL CHURCH MAGAZINE! I’M THRILLED AGAIN, & 2 FIND OUT THAT I’LL BE TRANSLATED INTO OTHER LANGUAGES & PUBLISHED AGAIN! CRAZY! OVER THE LAST YEAR, THEY’VE EDITED & TOTALLY SHORTENED IT, BUT THE MESSAGE I NEEDED 2 SHARE REMAINS—EVEN WHAT DIDN’T SEEM 2 INITIALLY WORK!

SO, DO U GET THE LDS ENSIGN? IF U R NOT LDS, & DON’T GET IT, COME SEPT., U CAN LISTEN HERE: WWW.LDS.ORG >GOSPEL LIBRARY>MEDIA FORMATS>AUDIO>ENSIGN, SEPTEMBER 2008.

MANY WHO R LEARNING ASL, ARE FAMILIAR W/”SIGNING TIME.” THOSE WHO R LDS, MAY BE FAMILIAR W/A NAME OF A WELL-KNOWN LDS MUSICIAN WHOSE SISTER DOES “SIGNING TIME”—LEX De AZEVEDO. SHE OBVIOUSLY GREW UP IN A MUSICAL HOME. I DID 2, & DESPITE EVERYTHING, I REALLY WANT 2 SHARE MUSIC W/MY KIDS. HAVING A DEAF CHILD COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY, REALLY TOUGH 2 ACCEPT, BUT I’VE ALWAYS ADMIRED HOW THEY MADE GOOD OF SOMETHING BAD, BY MAKING SIGN VIDEOS, USING THE STREGNTH THAT MUSIC PROVIDES 2 TEACH. I KNOW IT HAS HELPED ME LEARN THE PRIMARY LANGUAGE I NOW SPEAK.

THANKS 2 GOD I HAD EXPERIENCES WORTH SHARING, & HAD THE ABILITY 2 SHARE THOSE EXPERIENCES. IT WAS CERTAINLY NOT INTENDED, BUT MAYBE I’VE FOLLOWED IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THOSE WHO’VE IMPRESSED ME, & MADE GOOD OF SOMETHING THAT APPEARS BAD. THAT’S THE MOST THRILLING THOUGHT!