Author: Jenny

In March 2004, I suffered a severe brainstem stroke, & was "locked in" for several months". I have been married to a wonderful man, Mark ever since Dec. 1994, & we have 3 kids: Zach (1997),, Jessica (2000), & Sophie (2002). I have been blessed in so many ways by God, so I wanted to keep a blog to share my recovery, life, & answer questions.

LEFT SIDE

THOSE WHO'VE MET ME RECENTLY, KNOW MY LEFT ARM IS RESTRAINED BY A VELCRO STRAP. MAY BE BAD 2 DO, BUT IT BEGAN AS A JOKE 2 RESTRAIN IT. HOWEVER, 4 MUCH I DO, THE ARM HAS 2 BE UP ON MY ARMREST. UNFORTUNATELY, IT BECAME A REAL PROBLEM, SINCE IT MOVES TOWARDS MY TORSO, IF I CRY/SNEEZE/LAUGH–SO, I WAS ALWAYS GAURDING IT. I ALSO USE THE LT. ELBOW 4 SUPPORT, BUT IN ADDITION 2 TIPPING OVER, THE LT. ARM WAS A NUISANCE. NEEDLESS 2 SAY, I REALLY LIKED THE JOKE, SO I INSISTED THE STRAP STAY!

IT'S COMMON 2 THINK THAT SINCE MY LEFT SIDE CAN NOT MOVE, THERE'S NO FEELING. BUT I CAN FEEL EVERYTHING! (JUST CAN’T MOVE AROUND A WHOLE BUNCH.)

BUT I WILL MOVE MY LEFT SIDE IF I SNEEZE, LAUGH, OR FEEL INTENSE PAIN (BUT IF LESS INTENSE, I JUST HAVE 2 TOLERATE THE PAIN.)

IN ORDER 2 FEEL, USUALLY, TOUCH HAS 2 BE GENERAL, NOT SPECIFIC (LIKE TOUCHING MY SHOULDER VERSUS IDENTIFYING WHICH FINGER WAS TOUCHED ON MY LEFT HAND–I ASSUME BECAUSE I DON'T PRACTICE FEELING ON MY LT. SIDE AS MUCH, & MY RT. SIDE PRACTICES ALL DAY, LIKE AS I TYPE ON MY KEYBOARD—SO MY BRAIN IS MORE AWARE OF WHAT PARTS OF MY BODY TOUCH STUFF ON MY RT. SIDE). SO I WOULD RECOGNIZE SOMETHING BETTER IF MY WHOLE LEFT HAND, VERSUS A FINGER, FELT SOMETHING. ODD, HUH?

I DO FEEL HOT/COLD 2: IF SUBJECTED 2 COLD WATER, I EXTEND & I REQUIRE REALLY WARM WATER WHEN I DO SWIM THERAPY. PLUS, MY LT. HAND/FOOT IS ALWAYS COLD, PROB. DUE 2 DECREASED BLOODFLOW!

OTHER EXCEPTIONS:
• IF I HAVE A REALLY GOOD ITCH ON MY LEFT & WAIT 2 SCRATCH W/MY RT., I STRAIGHTEN MY LT. ARM/LEG (LIKE A GOOD NOSE ITCH STRAIGHTENS BOTH MY LEGS)
• IF I YAWN I CONTRACT MY LT. SIDEIF I'M MOVED, I STRETCH AND EXTEND MY LT. SIDE
• I STRETCH AND EXTEND IF ANY MUSCLE ON MY LEFT REACTS, AFFECTING OTHER LIMBS:
• TRYING 2 MOVE MY LT. FOOT, MY LT. ARM STIFFENS—IT'S A "WHOLE BODY AFFAIR" 2 MOVE ANY PART OF MY BODYY
• EXERCING A LOT 2 RAISE MY RT. ARM, CAN CAUSE MY LEFT LEG 2 STIFFEN & STICK STRAIGHT OUT
• THE MUSCLES R TIGHTENED W/NON-USE. & IF MY LT. LEG/ARM HANGS DOWN, PULLING ON ME AS DEAD WEIGHT, MY LEG/ARM CAN JERK THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION 2 TRY 2 RELEIEVE THE PRESSURE OF THE DEAD WEIGHT.

BUT KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY? I CAN IMAGINE OPENING & CLOSING MY LEFT HAND, BUT IT DOESN'T MOVE EXCEPT IN MY HEAD!

JESS HAS FRACTURED HER LEFT WRIST, & GUESS I'M EVIL, BECAUSE I RATHER ENJOY C-ING HOW SHE MANUVERS W/1 HAND (THOUGH SHE HAS THE UNFAIR ADVANTAGE OF STILL HAVING PARTIAL ACCESS 2 HER LEFT FINGERS). SHE SHOULD USE THOSE FINGERS—AT 1ST, SHE DIDN'T, & IT DROVE ME CRAZY 2 C USEFUL FINGERS GO 2 WAIST!

CONFERENCE IN CLEVELAND

I “SPOKE” (MARK TRANSLATED MY ASL) RECENTLY AT A NEURO. DOCTOR’S CONFERENCE IN OHIO. IT WENT REALLY WELL & I'LL "SPEAK" AGAIN IN FEB. SOMEWHERE ELSE 4 A NATIONAL CONFERENCE 4 THE AMERICAN STROKE ASSOCIATION. THESE R PICS FROM IT—I WAS THE ONLY ONE "SPOKE," BUT I MET ANOTHER GIRL, CRISSY (& HER FAMILY), WHO HAD THE SAME DOCTOR ALMOST 2 YRS. AGO & IS ALSO LOCKED-IN.

UPON RETURNING, ODDLY, MY DOUBLE VISION WAS WORSE, FROM NOT FOCUSING MY EYES HARD 2 READ. IT CAN STILL BE TRICKY 2 READ AT TIMES, BUT MY EYES HAVE MOSTLY ADJUSTED 2 THEIR "OLD WAYS."

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BACK…

I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN HOME A WHILE, BUT W/ONLY 1 TYPING FINGER 2 SAY ALL MY THOUGHTS FROM A WEEK (& I'VE BARELY SCRATCHED THE SURFACE), ON THE SAME HAND THAT I SPEAK W/, IS TOUGH. I THOUGHT THE HARD PART WOULD BE REMEMBERING STUFF FOR A WEEK, BUT I PURPOSELY LET A LOT SLIP SO I FELT LESS PRESSURE 2 REMEMBER STUFF & THE TRUE CHALLENGE WAS THE ELABORATE THOUGHTS I HAD CONCOCTED IN MY HEAD 4 A WEEK–THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD TYPE ALL THAT, SO I HAD 2 FIND A SHORTER WAY 2 SAY THE SAME THING. IN CASE U HAVEN'T NOTICED (& MOST GIRLS WOULD AGREE), BEING BRIEF HAS NEVER BEEN A FORTE OF MINE, BUT IT'S NOW NECESSARY (ESP. WHEN I SIGN & 1 WORD HAS 2 SUFFICE 4 A WHOLE THOUGHT)!

GONE

I’M “SPEAKING” AT THE DOCTOR’S CONFERENCE IN OHIO NEXT WEEK. THE KIDS STAY, BUT MARK & I R DRIVING. IT'LL BE AWHILE B4 I POST, BUT PRAYERS R WELCOME 2 CONTROL MY PBA & REMEMBER EVERYTHING (ESP. SINCE I'D PURPOSELY BLOCKED OUT A LOT, SO I COULD 4GET STUFF & MOVE ON, & NOW I NEED 2 MAKE THOSE DAYS COME BACK.)

WHEN I'M GONE, HERE'S SOME FOOD 4 THOUGHT:

"IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS 2 U, BUT HOW U REACT THAT MATTERS." –EPICTETUS

"LIFE IS 10% WHAT U MAKE IT & 90% HOW U TAKE IT." –IRVING BERLIN