Friday, 2 things occurred that I’m excited about:
- I made toast! For a while now I’ve been opening bags, but only once have I re-tied a bread bag–it’s hard w/1 hand! But yesterday I figured out a way to do it: normally I twist the bag, & have the weight of the bread keep it closed, so I did that, but took it a step farther & slipped in the bread tie…& while I did that, I had bread cooking in my toaster (which surprised me at how easily I could push the lever down!)
- While “walking” (so my “talking hand was occupied), I held several lengthy conversations! This fulfilled an unspoken dream! Lately, I’ve been thrilled if I am able to tell someone “thank u” as I go through a door they are holding open for me. I guess, in reality, I’ve been doing speaking as i move for a while, cuz I speak to my therapist, as I ride my horse (no way am I letting go, although I’m sitting pretty well w/o side support now!). In fact, I recently wrote this about horse therapy:
This is my 2nd year of Equine (horse) therapy, which is kind of like physical therapy. However, I took Physical Therapy for about 2 years, & the progress I had seems to pale in comparison! For 10 years, I’ve been like a ragdoll, & lacked core strength . Nothing seemed to help me but after just a few months of riding a horse, the strength in my core was remarkable! I can now lean forward, push myself back up, sit in a chair without arms unassisted, etc. Equine (horse) therapy isn’t just limited to building core strength, building endurance, or helping a person to work on their balance, but it has also strengthened my upper body, replaced many of my anxieties with confidence, & helped me to strengthen my breath support, so after 10 years, I am finally able speak again!
The hardest time for me to speak is in the morning: I seem to wake slowly, & I have trouble getting my muscles working & coordinated. I also feel like my PBA medicine has depression & anxiety meds in it, so once I take it, it seems to weaken my speech anxiety or something, & I start talking clearer & easier. It seems like I tend to “think too much”, so sfter my anxiety lessens, i seem to start thinking less about how to speak, & just do it!
Sometimes, it seems like due to my anxiety, I can’t say anything, or I whisper (the whisper isn’t from a lack of breath support, cuz I’m often repeating something I said louder). Recently, we discovered that iI’m louder & clearer if I read something (though, usually I can’t be so familiar with it that i anticipate things)! I can’t let my brain get involved, & start “over-thinking”, or speaking becomes tough! Crazy, huh? My music therapist tested it out, & wrote out a phrase I had trouble saying earlier, & when I read it, it was so effortless & clear, I shocked her!