“If someone feels rather unfulfilled most of the time, doesn’t that mean they should be working on other things beyond what they’re doing right now?”

Not necessarily. I believe only God could answer that! often, it’s not until years later that u see how important it was!

Being a mom can feel very unfulfilling, but u’d be surprised at how important the job can be! i say this, becuz my degree was in elementary education, so we learned how vital the 1st 5 years, & especially the 1st 2 years, are. So I was devastated when i had my stroke, & my kids were 6, 4, & 2 years old. i cried becuz i felt sophie was being “jipped.” i had homeschooled zach for preschool, & made things like educational & church file folder games, i was teaching zach piano, was zach’s room mom (at school), & team mom (sports), gave elaborate birthday parties (i’d taken a cake decorating class, & when he had a superman party, instead of goodie bags, i made his 5 friends all superman shirts, with a cape)…should i go on, or switch to jess? i certainly couldn’t do the “stereo-typical” or extraordinary “mother stuff” for her,. thankfully, i’d been ok for the most vital 1st 2 years of her life, but she was only 2, so she still had 3 important years ahead of her!

however, since i couldn’t do all that other stuff, i spent a ton more time with her. i was great at watching puppet shows, & as i gained movt., i could participate when she pretended to feed me, etc., but for quite awhile, i was just there…seemed utterly pointless, honestly!

but years later, i am seeing the results. sophie & i are very close–in fact, i now feel zach was ‘jipped!”

same goes with my recovery–there are therapies & exercises i do that bring no immediate fullfillment, but years l8r, i see how it was beneficial to me! a recent ex.: I had several weeks off with horse therapy, due to the holidays. & then some re-training of the horses. I know the “peanut ball” is similar to riding the horse, so I intended to use that, but I ended up on it only once,so I was a bit worried about how I’d do at horse therapy, but it went great: I took the longest ride yet, & wasn’t too exhausted at the end to stand & transfer back to my w/c!

So I was thinking about how this occurred, when I only exercised on the peanut ball 1 time, & then i realized some stuff:

While I’m sure using my bike more has helped with my endurance, I realized some other stuff I did, that I attributed to helping in other ways, so I just gave no thought to it b4!:

I try to daily do “sit-ups”, or wear my “ab belt” (which is basically e-stim on my ab muscles, so I do nothing, but for a half hour it contracts my ab muscles, as if I do sit-ups for a half hour straight). It has built up my breath support, allowing me to speak, & it has aided my digestion & now I realize it probably helps with the horse as well.

Also, I do this thing I call “tug-of-war”: there’s a washcloth in my mouth, & my helper tries 2 pull it out of my mouth. I can’t use my hands, so I end up using ab muscles, & supporting my weight w/my right arm, the same as I do while riding the horse!

Lastly, b4 the break, I’d noticed an increased ability to lean forward–I could lean forward b4, but I couldn’t stop part-way…it was all or nothing! But ever since riding the horse, Sven, I have built up my core enough to halt & hold it mid-way, & since I’ve not been able to do that for almost the last 10 years, it was kinda fun to do, & I’d do it when I was bored, watching a movie, etc.

& trials are the same way–i’ve had this one 10 years, so i’ve been fortunate to see some of the blessings, though i can promise u that when this trial began, i could not forsee the growth it’d bring to me, in preparing me for who i’d become! & i know i still have much more changing to do!

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