IT’S BEEN A WHILE…

SORRY…I DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH! (LOL–U’LL GET IT LATER!) BEEN INCREDIBLY BUSY, & IT’S GETTING WORSE, NOT BETTER!

THERE HAVE BEEN BIG THINGS GOING ON SINCE EASTER: I GOT A NEW COMPUTER (& HAVE BEEN GETTING ACQUIANTED, & HAVE BEEN TRANSFERRING STUFF), GOT A NEW ASSISSTANT/CAREGIVER, ANGIE, “THE MORMON CHANNEL” (http://mormonchannel.org/ ), CAME 2 FILM ME, BOTH MK & I HAVE BEEN 2 THE HOSPITAL, ETC..

AS 4 MK’S HOSPITAL TRIP: USUALLY, MK BEING ILL MAKES ME FEEL EXTRA HELPLESS, BECUZ THE WORLD STOPS WHEN MK IS SICK, & I CAN’T KEEP IT TURNING, LIKE I USED TO DO. I WANT HIM 2 REST, BUT I ALSO WANT LIFE 2 CONTINUE,TAKE THE KIDS PLACES, RUN ERRANDS, ETC.! & WHLE IT WASN’T A 1ST TIME WHEN MK WAS ILL, BUT IT WAS THE FIRST TIME WHERE IT WAS AMAZING & MIRACULOUS HOW CALM I FELT!

BUT A WHILE AGO, I MADE A “CARING 4 JENNY” BINDER 4 STUFF EVENTS THIS, SO ANY1 COULD HELP ME. BUT SINCE CARA JUST LEFT , I HAD RECENTLY UPDATED IT 4 A NEW CAREGIVER WITH SCEDULES, INSTRUCTIONS 4 THINGS LIKE HOW 2 USE THE LIFT 2 HELP ME POTTY, HOW 2 HELP ME EXERCISE, HOW 2 TURN ME AT NIGHT (IF NEEDED –I HARDLY EVER TURN NOW, BUT IT NEVER FAILS THAT I NEED 2 TURN WHEN MK REALLY NEEDS 2 SLEEP!), HOW 2 PUT ME IN THE CAR, ETC.

W/MY “CARING 4 JENNY” BINDER UP-2-DATE, & W/FAITH IT WOULD ALL BE FINE SOMEHOW (MAYBE NOT HOW I WANT IT, BUT IT WOULD BE OK–I THINK I LEARNED THAT W/MY STROKE, BECUZ OBVIOUSLY, I DON’T WANT 2 BE THE “HELPLESS GIRL IN A WHEELCHAIR”, BUT THINGS ARE FINE…), I WAS EXTREMELY, SURPRISENLY CALM THE ENTIRE TIME…. ESP. WEIRD, SINCE MILES–MY ASSISSTANT/CAREGIVER, ANGIE’S, BABY–WAS SICK…

AS 4 MY HOSPITAL TRIP: THE 1ST WEEKEND OF JUNE, WE WERE ON A FAMILY VACATION IN PADRE ISLAND, TEXAS…

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO READ THE BIBLE, & WONDER ABOUT IF WE STILL HAVE MIRACLES 2DAY. NO1 PARTS THE RED SEA, BUT W/100% SURETY, I CAN SHOUT, “YES , WE HAVE MIRACLES 2DAY!” IF WE DIDN’T, I WOULDN’T BE WRITING THIS POST 2DAY! AFTER MY STROKE, I HAVE WITNESSED MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE, & SAT. I WAS PART OF A HUGE MIRACLE! THERE IS NO QUESTION–I KNOW I WITNESSED A MIRACLE, GOD’S LOVE, GOD’S MERCY, & GOD’S PROTECTION, & AT THE RISK OF FEELING STUPID, I FEEL COMPELLED TO SHARE THIS STORY W/U:

SAT., JUNE 2, I WAS IN A STORE, & FELT FRUSTRATED (BUT W/MY PBA, WEN I’M FRUSTRATED EVEN A TINY BIT, I CRY & MAKE A HORRIBLE SCENE…) THEN WELL MEANING PEOPLE ASK ME QUESTIONS I CAN’T ANSWER & OFFER SYMPATHY (& SYMPATHY ONLY MAKES MY PBA WORSE), OR, SINCE MK IS THERE, HE IS UNFAIRLY JUDGED 2 BE “EVIL,” SO IN ORDER 2 AVOID MAKING A SCENE, I LEFT THE STORE ALONE (WHICH I NEVER DO, & NEVER WILL AGAIN!) I JUST MADE AN EVEN BIGGER SCENE. IMMEDIATELY OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR, THERE WAS A VERY SMALL LANDING, W/NO WARNING LINES, & I, OF COURSE, SAW 2 SIDEWALKS TO MAKE A BIGGER LANDING, & I AIMED FOR THE 2ND SIDEWALK (WHICH DIDN’T EXIST), WHERE I’D WAIT OUTSIDE OF THE STORE MY FAMILY. BAD CHOICE. UNFORTUNATELY,THE SIDEWALK I SAW, WAS A CURB. SO, I WENT OFF THE CURB & FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR, LANDING ON MY KNEES & FACE, IN THE PARKING LOT…I DON’T RECALL FALLING, BUT I KNEW WHEN I HIT, & WHEN I SAW A POOL OF BLOOD FORMING, I CRIED AS LOUD AS I COULD—NOT BECUZ I WAS HURT, BUT SO SOME1 WOULD COME.

MY W/C TEETERED ON THE CURB EDGE, &, CALL IT VANITY OR PRIDE, BUT I WON’T WEAR A SEAT BELT IN MY W/C. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT IF I HAD BEEN, MY WHEELCHAIR WOULD’VE TOPPLED ON TOP OF ME, CRUSHING OR KILLING ME!

W/IN SECONDS, SOME1 CAME & FLIPPED ME OVER. THEY SAID TO CALL 911, & W/IN ANOTHER FEW SECONDS, MK WAS THERE, MK HELD & LOOKED AT ME W/SUCH LOVE & I IMMEDIATELY WAS COMFORTED, & KNEW THAT I’D BE OK. BUT I KNEW HEAD WOUNDS BLED LOTS, & I KNEW I LOOKED TONS WORSE THAN I FELT, SO I WORRIED DEARLY ABOUT MY FAMILY! I COULD HEAR THE KIDS CRYING, SO MY PBA KICKED IN & I SOBBED–BUT NOT BECUZ I WAS HURT…SO I SIGNED, “PBA,” HOPING THEY’D CATCH ON THAT I WAS OK, & THE TEARS WERE PBA TEARS.

911 WAS AGAIN SUGGESTED, WHICH FELT UNNECESSARY, BUT I DIDN’T PROTEST—I RECALLED THAT WHEN I HAD MY STROKE & ALMOST DIED, I DID PROTEST TO 911 BEING CALLED (HA!), & I FIGURED IT DIDN’T HURT 2 CHECK 4 INTERNAL BLEEDING, & LET MY LOVED 1S SEE THAT I WAS OK! BUT AS I WAS PUT ON THE AMBULANCE, I WORRIED THAT IT MAY TURN UP OLD MEMORIES 4 MY FAMILY OF ME GOING ON AN AMBULANCE 8 YEARS AGO…

I WAS THROUGHLY SCANNED/X-RAYED AT THE HOSPITAL, & I’M OK! I BROKE MY NOSE & HAVE SOME SCRAPES AND CUTS, BUT I FEEL THAT THE IT IS A MIRACLE HOW MINOR MY INJURIES ARE. I MOSTLY JUST FEEL STUPID!

OH, & I’M TICKED AT THE HOSPITAL. THEY ACTUALLY ADDED 2 MY INJURIES: 1ST, I WAS A HUMAN PINCUSHION, & 2ND, MY TAILBONE GOT BRUISED. I CAME TO THE HOSPITAL TO BE HELPED, BUT I WAS HURT AS BAD AS WHEN I FELL! BUT THIS IS NOT THE ONLY HOSPITAL W/THESE PROBLEMS! EVERY HOSPITAL HAS IT’S PROBLEMS, & STROKE SURVIVORS ALL OVER THE WORLD CAN SHARE EQUAL OR WORSE HOSPITAL STORIES.

BUT I DIGRESS… A FEW WEEKS AGO, MK WAS IMPRESSED 2 ASK ME IF I WANTED TO STOP TAKING MY BLOOD THINNER MEDS (SOMETHING NO DOCTOR WOULD SUGGEST DOING, BUT THEY ALSO CAN’T SAY 4 SURE WHY I HAD A STROKE & NEED IT), SO I RESEARCHED & SINCE I HAD NO OBJECTIONS, & SINCE I’M ON A HEALTH FOOD KICK THAT SEEMS A BAD MIX WITH MY BLOOD THINNER MEDS, I STOPPED TAKING THEM. GOOD THING TOO–OR I WOULDN’T BE WRITING THIS! IN FACT, MY DR. MADE IT SOUND LIKE THERE WAS NOT GREAT EVIDENCE FOR THE NEED FOR ME TO TAKE BLOOD THINNERS AND IT MOST LIKELY PREVENTED INTERNAL BLEEDING BY NOT BEING ON IT.

IT IS A MIRACLE THAT SOMETHING THAT COULD’VE KILLED ME, ONLY ENDED UP W/A BROKEN NOSE (WHICH GAVE ME 2 BLACK EYES), & SOME CUTS ON MY FACE, KNEES, & 3 FINGERS ON MY RIGHT HAND! ONLY GOD COULD’VE PROTECTED ME SO WELL! SIMPLY AMAZING THAT MY TEETH ARE FINE, MY RIGHT HAND ISN’T BROKEN, I GOT NO STITCHES, & MY SKULL WASN’T CRUSHED! WHAT MERCY & LOVE I FEEL!

I’M AMAZED HOW GOD FINDS WAYS 2 TURN BAD SITUATIONS INTO GOOD. I KNOW HUNDREDS OF WAYS THAT MY STROKE HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A BLESSING. THIS WAS NO DIFFERENT: I HAVE WANTED A NEUROLGIST 4 QUITE SOMETIME (ODDLY, MOSTLY SO I MAY TRY THE NEW MEDS 4 PBA!), & THE HOSPITAL WE WENT TO WAS ONE OF THE FEW THAT SPECIALIZE IN STROKE NEUROLOGY. MY DR. (WHO SEEMED 2 LIGHT-UP AT MEETING AN 8 YR. BRAIN-STEM STROKE SURVIVOR, SINCE THE MORTALITY RATE IS SO LOW, & WE USUALLY SURVIVE ONLY 1 YEAR) WAS A HUGE PART IN SETTTING UP THE STROKE UNIT. SHE GAVE ME A REFERRAL TO SEE A GUY NEARBY TO ADDRESS SOME THINGS THAT MAY BENEFIT ME IN THE LONG RUN.

WHEN MK WAS SICK, THINGS WERE VERY TOUGH W/THE KIDS (TEENS ARE NOT MY FORTE…HENCE, I TAUGHT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!), BUT MY ACCIDENT SEEMS 2 HAVE REMINDED US ALL–INCLUDING ME–HOW MUCH WE LOVE & CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER.

SOMETHING I LOVE ABOUT MY FAMILY IS HOW THEY FIND HUMOR IN EVERY SITUATION…& THEY SAY LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE! MAYBE I WAS LOOPY AT THE TIME MK SAID IT, BUT I LAUGHED SOOO HARD WHEN HE MENTIONED THAT HE HAD MY WHEELCHAIR 4 ME 2 LEAVE THE HOSPITAL, & THAT HE WAS TRYING 2 THINK OF HOW HE COULD HELP ME RE-COVER, WHEN HE ALREADY POTTIES ME, SHOWERS ME, DRESSES ME, & FEEDS ME! THEN THE KIDS (WHO HAD PREVIOUSLY COMPARED MY SUNBURN 2 A TOMATO) COMMENTED HOW I NOW LOOKED LIKE A TOMATO THAT HAD BEEN CHEWED ONCE (SO IT WAS DAMAGED, BUT STILL A COMPLETE TOMATO) LOL

I HAVE WITNESSED MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE, & IT’S NOT OVER YET: I AM THE WORLD’S SLOWEST HEALER, BUT WHEN I WOKE UP 2DAY, & IT’S AMAZING HOW FAST I’M HEALING!

One comment

  1. OH MY GOSH, JENNY! I AM SO GLAD U R OK!! THIS SCARED ME 2 DEATH, BUT U R RIGHT -IT IS A MIRACLE & IT JUST REMINDS ME THAT U R ONE OF HEAVENLY FATHER’S FAVORITES!!! LOVE, CARA

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