I’VE GOTTEN 2 THE POINT WHERE IF I WAS TALKING WELL THE PREVIOUS DAY, I WAKE UP WONDERING IF I STILL HAVE MY VOICE! LOL FOR EXAMPLE, I WAS VERY VOCAL TUES. NIGHT, & WOKE WED. MORNING , WONDERING IF I STILL “HAD IT!”

BUT THE LONGER I AM QUIET, THE HARDER IT IS 2 “START UP” AGAIN (IN ADDITION 2 BEDTIME, CHURCH IS 3 HOURS LONG, SO IT KILLS ME—IT IS 1 HOUR FOR 3 DIFFERENT MEETINGS). & I AM STILL QUIETER WHEN I’M AWAY FROM HOME…ACTUALLY, SOMETIMES I THINK I’M JUST AS LOUD, BUT WHERE I AM IS SO LOUD, IT MAKES ME SEEM QUIET (JUST LIKE HOW IN THE QUIET OF THE NIGHT, A TINY NOISE SOUNDS VERY LOUD). & IF I GET UPSET, SOMETIMES IT’S REAL HARD 2 VOCALIZE. HOWEVER, THE COOL THING IS THAT EVEN IF IT’S “GONE,” IT COMES & GOES: SEEING MY KIDS, ESP. SOPH (FIA), DRAWS IT OUT OF ME.

COOL STUFF:

MON. NIGHT, MY NEPHEW CRIED FROM HIS BABY CARRIER ON THE FLOOR…I WAS ABLE 2 POSITION MYSELF SO I COULD LEAN WAY OVER, GRAB HIS PACIFIER, & PUT HIS PACIFIER IN HIS MOUTH, ALLOWING ME 2 SOOTHE A CRYING BABY (I COULD ALSO ROCK THE BABY CARRIER WITH THE HANDLE). IT WAS A SMALL CONTRIBUTION IN MY ENORMOUS FAMILY, THAT MEANT THE WORLD 2 ME!

TUES. NIGHT I SAW A FRIEND AT CHURCH, & AS I THOUGHT IT, & WITHOUT HESITATION , THE PHRASE “HOW ARE U?” JUST “POPPED” OUT, SO CLEARLY–IT JUST SEEMED PERFECTLY NATURAL COMING OUT. THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO HAS HEARD ME THAT WAY, IS SOPH, WHEN I MENTIONED SINGING THE “ANNIE” SONG! & JUST LIKE THAT, I THINK IT SHOCKED HER & ME! &, I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN CONSCIOUSLY DO IT AGAIN, BUT IT MUST BE THERE, IF I DID IT ONCE!

SAT., I HAD A TERRIBLE SPEAKING DAY, BUT I WAS STILL ABLE 2 STOP THE KIDS AT OUR TABLE BY SAYING, “THAT’S ENOUGH!” & BY POINTING AT LEFTOVER PIZZA, ZACH FIGURED OUT THAT I WAS MUMBLING, “PUT THE PIZZA AWAY!” (CONTEXT CLUES, NON-VERBAL ACTIONS, & STARTING 2 SIGN THE WORD HELPS OTHERS UNDERSTAND ME!)

SUN. MORN., WHEN I WENT 2 WAKE UP THE GIRLS, AFTER SAYING “GOOD MORNING,” I TRIED SAYING, I NEED HELP.” I USUALLY WAKE THE KIDS SUN. MORN., & THIS WAS NOT A GOOD “TALKING MORNING,” SO I WASN’T SURE HOW THIS’D TURN OUT…THE GIRLS KEPT ACKNOWLEDGING ME, BUT BY THE 3RD TRY, JESS GOT WHAT I WAS SAYING, & CAME 2 HELP ME! EXCITING, SINCE I WASN’T TALKING WELL, & SHE COULDN’T SEE ME!