LATELY, IF I TRY 2 SPEAK, IT COMES & GOES. SOMETIMES IT’S EASY, & SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I’M HITTING A BRICK WALL, & I CAN’T COORDINATE MY BREATH & VOCAL CHORDS.

THE SINGING THING–I WASN’T EVEN TRYING. I WAS TYPING AN EMAIL, NOT THINKING, & JUST SINGING ALONG. I SWEAR MY MUSIC THERAPIST STRETCHED MY VOCAL CHORDS EARLIER THAT DAY! I KEEP TRYING 2 DUPLICATE IT, BUT I SOUND AWFUL, & CAN’T EVEN HIT THE NOTE AGAIN! IF I HADN’T WRITTEN IT DOWN, I’D THINK THAT I WAS IMAGINING IT! LOL I GUESS THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THIS SHOWS ME THAT IT IS ALL THERE, I JUST HAVE TO FIND IT.

LAST FRI. NIGHT, THE BOYS WERE CAMPING AT THE WARD (OUR CHURCH’S CONGREGATION) 4 THE FATHER/SON CAMPOUT, & I TRADITIONALLY HAVE A GIRLS’ NIGHT, & THE GIRLS CAN CHOOSE 2 SLEEP W/ME. JESS HAD A BIG DAY, & HAD CRASHED, SO SOPH SLEPT W/ME…SHE WOKE 2 ME PRACTICING SAYING LETTER “S,” & I SAID “SOPHIA”–NOT THE USUAL “OPHIA SHE WAS THRILLED & FLATTERED THAT MY 1ST “REAL”” WORD WAS HER NAME (I DON’T KNOW IF IT IS, BUT I FIGURE IT’S ONLY FAIR, SINCE SHE’S MY HONORARY SPEECH THERAPIST!)

SHE THEN GAVE ME A BUNCH OF “S” WORDS 2 SAY, LIKE SEE, SUE, SING…WE ENDED W/A SENTENCE: “SOPHIA, SAY SALT.” I CAN’T SAY ANY OF THESE WORDS WHEN I SIT, BUT IF I COULD JUST LEARN HOW…

I HAD TROUBLE TALKING MOST OF THE REST OFF THAT DAY, W/1 EXCEPTION: I WAS BUCKLED IN MY VAN, W/MY BACK 2 THE KIDS, WAITING 4 MK, & THE KIDS STARTED FIGHTING. USUALLY IF THIS HAPPENS, I EITHER SAY UNINTELLIGABLE NOISES, UNTIL A KID ALLOWS ME 2 TALK, OR I JUST SIT THERE. THIS TIME I SAID, “BE NICE!”, WHICH SOPHIA UNDERSTOOD, & L8R I SAID, “NO MORE TALKING!”, WHICH JESS UNDERSTOOD, & I ACTUALLY ENDED A FIGHT! IT FELT SO GOOD!

YESTERDAY, I LEARNED HOW 2 USE 1 OF MY SPEECH PROGRAMS 2 RECORD ME SAYING EACH WORD ALONE & MAKE A SENTENCE (OR I COULD DO PHRASES 2 MAKE A PHARAGRAPH, BUT FOR SOME REASON, SINGLE WORDS ARE CLEARER). I WAS NEVER SUPPOSED 2 TALK AGAIN, SO I HAD FUN FREAKING OUT SOME FAMILY, E-MAILING AUDIO MESSAGES! (TOO BAD I CAN’T LAY DOWN AT MY COMPUTER, & SAY “SOPHIA, SAY SALT!”, & FIGURE OUT HOW 2 POST IT ON HERE! LOL)