VISION

THERE’S OFTEN QUES. ABOUT MY SIGHT…IT’S ACTUALLY A LOADED QUES., INVOLVING MANY FACTORS, & CONSTANTLY CHANGINGAS I ADAPT 2 IT, BUT, ESSENTIALLY, YES, I C U. I C ALARMINGLY WELL. NOT AT ALL “NORMAL,” BUT I C W/DOUBLE VISION. I DON’T C 2 OF U, MY PUPILS JUST DON’T LINE UP. I TEND 2 C THINGS DISTORTED…IF I’M TIRED, SICK, WEAKER, ETC., MY EYE MUSCLES R WEAKER, & IT’S TOUGHER 2 C, BUT I STILL C U.

I C AS IF I’M ON A CRUISE SHIP ALL DAY: MY EYES BOUNCE…MY LEFT EYE SEES BETTER, BUT IS WAY MORE LIGHT SENSITIVE (DAYLIGHT MAKES IT CLOSE) & REALLY WIGGLES. MY RT. EYE WIGGLES 2, BUT I TRY 2 WAIT 4 THE SPLIT SEC. THEY WIGGLE 2GETHER, OR MAKE THE IMAGE THAT I C W/MY RT. EYE, BE THE MORE DOMINANT IMAGE, SINCE IT’S STEADIER—WHICH ONLY WORKS, IF I LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD.

I DON’T HAVE MUCH HORIZONTAL EYE MOVT. (VERY LITTLE IN MY RT. EYE), & MY HEAD CAN’T TURN VERY FAR 2 THE RT., SO, OFTEN, I IDENTIFY PEOPLE BY THE SOUND OF THEIR VOICE, CLOTHES I KNOW U R WEARING, OR BY HAIR (JESS WANTS SHORT HAIR, BUT HAS OPTED 2 KEEP IT LONG, SO I CAN EASILY FIND HER–THOUGH I’VE TOLD HER THAT SHE & ZACH STAND OUT, REGARDLESS OF HAIR LENGTH, SINCE THEIR HAIR IS SO LIGHT).

ANYWAY, IT’S NOT THAT I CAN’T READ SMALL FONT, IT’S THAT IT’S EXTREMELY HARDER (ESP. IF IT’S LONG) & TAKES TONS LONGER, BECAUSE MY EYES JUMP ALL OVER, SO I HAVE 2 KEEP FINDING MY PLACE…W/A LARGER LETTER, MY EYES JUMP, & I STAY SORTA’ IN PLACE. AFTER READING A FEW LETTERS, I GUESS THE WORD (AS MOST DO WHEN I FINGERSPELL, I GUESS THE WORD I’M READING).

TYPING CAN BE ROUGH, AS I’VE NEEDED 2 MEMORIZE THE KEYBOARD SOMEWHAT, & REALLY CONCENTRATE ON THE KEYS, SINCE I CAN’T GLANCE AT A KEY.

HOWEVER, UNLESS IT IS LARGE&/OR CLOSE, OFTEN I CAN’T C FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, UNLESS I KNOW U WELL ENOUGH 4 MY VISUAL MEMORY 2 “FILL IN” A GUESSED FACIAL EXPRESSION. IF I’M AT THE LAST PEW, IN THE CHAPEL AT CHURCH, I CAN C MY PEW. FARTHER AHEAD, THE PULPIT, I C SOME1 IS THERE. IF I KNOW THEM, CHANCES R THAT I CAN IDENTIFY THEM BY THEIR VOICE, CLOTHES, &/OR HAIR. THEN, AMAZING THINGS CAN HAPPEN…MY VISUAL MEMORY RECALLS THEM, & I CAN BE “TRICKED” 2 C THEM!

OBVIOUSLY, THIS VISUAL MEMORY HELPS ME ALSO READ, NAVIGATE THE INTERNET, & FILL IN ANY GAPS W/THINGS THAT I C UP CLOSE. THIS MAKES FAMILY FASTER 2 C, BECAUSE OF VISUAL MEMORY…ALSO EXPLAINS WHY I COULD C SOMETHING A MILLION TIMES IN A CROWD, BUT HAVE NO CLUE IT’S THERE, IF I HAVEN’T SEEN IT CLOSE, & MADE A VISUAL MEMORY OF IT.

THE ONLY TIME I”M UNSURE WHAT I C, DEPENDS ON LIGHTING…LIKE A CAMERA, IF LIGHT IS BEHIND U, U GET DARK. MORE LIGHT, MAKES U DARKER. I C U THERE–U R JUST DARK!

4 comments

  1. I’ve thought of you many times recently, Jenny. I was just in the hospital for binary pulmonary embolisms (blood clots), and it was a bit scary. We love you and your family and are inspired by you daily!

  2. I’ve recently (for the second time in less than a year) had problems with my vision in my left eye. While it’s healing, I can’t wear my contact, and my vision is just so weird. It certainly makes you appreciate something that, while you may not take it for granted, you don’t count it as the blessing it really is!

    Love you much,
    Lynne

  3. Thanks so much for sharing things from your point of view and experience. It is fascinating to read about these details. You are truly remarkable because you can function with all that you have to deal with. Sometime, when you feel up to it, I’d love to read what your earliest memories of your stroke are. I’ve tried to imagine what you went through and I’m sure I will never be able to. We think of you, Mark and your family often and send our love.

  4. Jenny, I read the post about how you see things and realize that as I get older I am using many of the sam vision tricks myself. You are amazing to have figured those all out and I am not amazing because I have taken it all for granted for so many years. Your posts really inspire me. I can’t imagine anyone being as loving and caring of a mother, with or without mobility. You are a source of faith for me. God bless you daily and by the minute, Linda

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