FIA

IN MY EDUCATION, I LEARNED HOW VITALL THE 1ST 5 YRS. OF LIFE ARE, SO ITT CAN ONLY BE IMAGINED HOW I LAMENTED4 FIIA'S CHILDHOOD, AS SHE WAS BARELY 2 YRS. WHENN I STROKED..BUT BECAUSE OF IIT, SHE'S RECIEVED MORE QUALITY TIME FROM ME (I ACTUALLY PLAY TEA PARTY & BEAUTY PARLOR, & WHEN SHE'S LEFT OUT OF THE BIGGER KIDS PLAY, SHE KNOWS SHE CAN ASK, "MOM, WILL U PLAY W/ME?") & SHE"S BEEN FORCED 2 FIGURE THINGS OUT ON HER OWN (LIKE READING), SINCE I CAN'T ANSWER OR DO THINGS. SHE'S REALLY ADAPTED & IS SO VERY BRIGHT.

I REALIZED SHE ALSO PROVIDES ME CONSTANT THERAPY THROUGH DAILY LIVING: SHE SINGS W/ME & HAS ME MIMIC HER, SO I PRAACTICE SPEECH. I'VE BEEN PRACTICING PUCKERING BY KISSING. I PRACTICE HORIZONTAL ARM MOVT. THROUGH SPANKING (FIA LOVES ME 2 SPANK HER, BECAUSE I DON'T HURT, & IS ALARMED BY ANY INCREASE IN STRENGTH). FIA HAS TOLD ME THAT MY SPANKING HAS RECENTLY GOTTEN HARDER—WHICH CORRELATES 2 MY ABILITY 2 REACH & GET STUFF FROM MY CRAFT TABLE, SINCE I USE SOME OF THE SAME MUSCLES!

SPEAKING OF FIA, SHE IS DOING SO WELL WITH HER SIGN LANGUAGE…SHE COUDN’T FIND WHAT COLOR CHURCH SHOES 2 WEAR. I KNEW FIA WOULD UNDERSTAND 1 WORD LIKE “WHITE” OR “BLACK” IN SIGN. BUT NEITHER RELALY MATCHED, & SHE KNEW HER SILVER SHOE AS A 3 LETTER WORD: “DISCO BALL SHOES.” HOW COULD I TELL HER? FIGURING I WAS WASTING TIME, BUT SHE EXPECTED AN ANSWER, SO I SIGNED/SPELLED “DISCO” (CERTAIN THE WORD WAS 2 HARD, BUT WAS SHOCKED WHEN SHE GOT IT), THEN “BALL,” THEN JUST “S.” SHE FIGURED IT OUT: DISCO BALL SHOES!

SHE'S ACTUALLY ALMOST 2 SMART—SHE LOVES 2 PLAY THE "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR SAYING" CARD (SINCE SHE CAN BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S TRUE), BUT WHEN I SEND HER 2 BED, SHE'S SMART ENOUGH 2 CHANGE THE WORDS 2 BENEFIT HER ("GO 2 BEAD , SOPHIA? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR SAYING!")

GUESS WHAT?

GUESS WHAT? IT WAS DUE TIME 4 AN PHYSICAL ACCOMPLISHMENT! THINGS WERE GETTING STALE AROUND HERE—ISO, SUCK! GRANTED, I TRIED ON A FATTER STRAW, BUT I SUCK! THIS OPENS WORLDS 4 ME! I'VE DREAMED OF THIS DAY! I TRIED BACK WHEN I LIVED IN INDY, & FAILED. TRIED 2 PUCKER & BLOW ON A RECORDER IN MUSIC THERAPY, ABOUT A YEAR AGO. I WAS CLOSE. I PUCKER BETTER NOW & BREATHE DEEPER.. W/RE-NEWED CONFIDENCE & DETERMINED 2 NOT FAIL AGAIN, I THOUGHT I’D TRY IT AGAIN. IT WORKED! IT'S AWFULLY HARD 2 PUCKER AGAIN WHEN I'M SMILING! I HAVE 2 RELAX MY FACE & SLOW BREATING DOWN SO I CAN BE READY ON A BIGGER BREATH—
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”.
— Anonymous

WED.

IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I POSTED HOW I AM PHYSICALLY DOING. THERE'S BEEN NO SPECTACULAR THINGS, LIKE WALKING, BUT MY SISTER WHO ONLY SEES ME OCCASSIONALLY, AS WELL AS FRIENDS AT CHURCH & MY MUSIC THERAPIST, WHO C ME WEEKLY, C CHANGES. —THINGS LIKE “I JUST LOOK BETTER” (I’M GUESSING MORE TONE), I RAISE MY ARM HIGHER & I SEEM STRONGER, & I BREATHE BETTER & AM MORE VOCAL. WED., IN MUSIC THERAPY, I WAS ASKED A QUES., & ANSWERED "I DON'T KNOW" ("I O U") AS I SHRUGGED. I ACTUALLY SAY SEVERAL THINGS NOW, (LIKE “I DON’T KNOW.” W/ONLY VOWELS), ONLY IT JUST “POPS OUT” ON OCCASION, AS I SIGN IT. I CAN'T ALWAYS DO IT ON COMMANDD—I SEEM 2 "FREEZE UP."MY MOST COMMON 1S R "HI" ("I"), "BYE" ("IE"), “I LOVE U” (“I O U”), “YES” (“YEA”—LOVE THIS 1 BECAUSE I CAN ANSWER A QUES. IF A BACK IS 2 ME, O THEY R IN THE NEXT ROOM), & “THANK U” (“A U”). IN MUSIC THERAPY, I HELP SING "OLD MCDONALD" ("EIEIO" & "MOO"). LIKE MOST PARENTS WHO UNDERSTAND THEIR CHILD & OTHERS DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHILD, MARK OFTEN UNDERSTANDS ME.

BLESSINGS FROM A STROKE

I'M A LIST-MAKER. EVEN MORSO NOW, BECAUSE A LIST SPEAKS 4 ME, IS MY EYES INTO A CONTAINER, & PROVIDES CLEARER ASSISSTANCE 4 ME.

BUT, I HAVE AVOIDED TYPING THIS SUGGESTED LIST, SINCE EVERY PRO HAS 1 OR MORE CONS, & I DIDN'T WANT A REMINDER OF THE CONS. BUT I HAVE LEARNED, AS A JOURNAL WRITER, THAT THE ONES THAT STICK, ARE THE 1'S THAT I TAKE TIME 2 TYPE, & I PREFER THE PROS 2 STICK , SO I LEARN THE PROS & KEEP THE PROS MENTALITY.

NOTICE THE LIST SHOWS WHY A STROJE WAS BENEFICIAL 2 ME—IT'D BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT LIST IF I SAID THE BLESSINGS I'VE RECEIVED EVER SINCE MY DIAGNOSIS 2 "JUST BLINK."

I USUALLY AVOID POSTING ON A TEARFUL DAY, SO I GUESS, THIS LIST IS MORE 4 ME 2 REVIEW THE LIST ON THOSE DAYS. BUT SINCE I AM OVER-DUE 2 POST, RATHER THAN TYPE A POST IN ADDITION 2 MY EVER-GROWING LIST (STARTED 12/26/07), THIS'LL NEED 2 SUFFICE (HERE'S A VERY SMALL TASTE):

    BLESSINGS FROM A STROKE

"When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." – Anthony Robbins
1. HANDICAPPED PARKING IN A BUSY LOT, ALLOWS MY ENTIRE FAM. 2 PARK UP FRONT
2. U R TREATED LIKE ROYALTY (U R FED, POTTIED, SHOWERED, ETC.)
3. GREAT DIET: U R FORCED 2 NOT SNACK. & IF U R LUCKY, U DON'T FEEL HUNGER & CAN SKIP OR DELAY MEALS EASIER
4. I CAN TALK W/A FULL MOUTH
5. I GET BIG CREEN TVS & A BIG SCREEN COMP. MONITER
6. WHAT MOM CAN PULL 3 ELEMENTARY-AGED KIDS IN A WAGON, AT ONCE, & NOT GET TIRED?
7. IT'S GREAT IF I CAN REACH 2 PICK MY NOSE
8. DON'T I STAY 30 YRS. OLD, SINCE I HAVEN'T BLOWN OUT B-DAY CANDLES, EVER SINCE I WAS 30?
9. I AM HILARIOUS, ACCORDING 2 ME & MY HEAD
10. I USED 2 FIGHT FOR AN HR. OR 2, TO BE ALONE IN MY DAY—EVEN COORDINATED NAPS & 2 ALLOW 4 IT & HAD QUIET TIME WHEN THEY R 2 OLD 4 NAPS–NOW I CAN HAVE THOSE 1-2 HRS. ALONE EASILY!
11. THERE IS A BEAUTY IN COMMUNICATING STRICTLY W/EMAIL—UNLIKE PHONE CALLS, U R NEVER INTERRUPTED & CAN RETURN THE MESSAGE WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT 4 ME!
12. DIGITAL SCRAPBOOKING BECAME BIG AROUND THE SAME TIME, & RATHER THAN DABLE, I WAS FORCED INTO IT, & LOVE IT!

HANDICAPPED PARKING

IT WAS MY ANNIVERSARY. THERE ISN'T MUCH I CAN DO, UNFORTUNATELY, SO WE WENT WINDOW SHOPPING AT A RIDICULOUSLY BUSY MALL.

BUT 2 GO, WE HAD 2 PARK. WE EVENTUALLY FOUND A PLACE, BUT IT WASN'T EASY. I WASN'T SURE WHICH OFFENCE BOTHERED ME MORE: A MOTORCYCLE PARKED ON THE LINES 4 HANDICAPPED PARKING (SARCASTIC: "HELLO"—THOSE R THERE 4 A REASON, & I NEED THEM 4 A RAMP 2 GET OUT), OR A MOTORCYCLE THAT ACTUALLY PARKED IN HANDICAPPED PARKING (BET HE/SHE ISN'T HANDICAPPED, OR CAN AT LEAST WALK).

I MADE THIS PLEA B4, & I'LL SAY IT AGAINl 4 THE SAKE OF THOSE WHO CAN'T GET OUT IF WE DON'T HAVE THOSE HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOTS, DON'T PARK THERE, ESP. IF U CAN DO WHAT WE WISH WE COULD DO: WALK. & IF U PARK BY HANDICAPPED PARKING, CAREFUL NOT 2 PARK ON THE LINES –MANY R ALREADY 2 THIN.