Update

ELECTRITY

R POWER WAS OFF 4 AN HOUR WEDNESDAY, & I WAS JOLTED BACK 2 THE 1ST FEW MONTHS AFTER MY STROKE (GUESS ON A A SUN., BECAUSE WE DON'T WATCH TV ON SUN.)

MY WORLD RELIES COMPLETELY ON POWER. W/O IT, I CAN'T EMAIL, DIGITAL SCRAP., DIGITAL JOURNAL, HAVE CONTACT W/ANY1 (I CAN USE A PHONE), NO TV, LISTEN 2 AN AUDIO BOOK, PLAY MY PIANO/SYNTHESIZER, OR EVEN GO ON MY ELEVATOR. I WAS STUCK DOWNSTAIRS. LUCKILY, I'D MUCH RATHER BE DOWNSTAIRS THAN UPSTAIRS. WHY? THERE'S A GUEST BED & BATH. THERE'S A DOOR. THE KIDS HAVE A TOY ROOM THEY'D GATHER IN, & IF DESPERATE, I HAVE FAM. PICS I CAN ENTERTAIN MYSELF WITH. BUT ALL THERAPY STUFF—MY 1 THING THAT REQUIRES NO ELECTRICITY—IS UPSTAIRS. M 1 EXCEPTION: MY SPA 4 SWIM THERAPY. ALSO, ½ OF MY UPSTAIRS THERAPY EQUIPMENT COULD EASILY BE CARRIED DOWNSTAIRS.

MY POWER WHEELCHAIR USES RE-CHARGEABLE BATTERIES (SO I WAS SAFE & COULD MOVE–A HUGE PROBLEM WHEN I WAS 1ST HOME AFTER MY STROKE) & MY FAM. HUNG OUT W/ME, SO THIS WAS MUCH MORE PALLETABLE THAN MY MANUAL W/C!

STILL, I WONDER HOW PEOPLE LIKE ME LIVED B4 EINSTEIN. MAYBE THEY DIDN'T. A BIG FACTOR 2 MY LIFE IS MACHINES, POWERED BY ELECTRICITY. THE OTHER FACTOR IS GOD.

WED.

4GIVE ME 4 NOT WRITING SOONER, BUT THE TIME I USEED B4 TO WRE HAS SUDDENLY BECCOME "GIRL TIME" W/MY GIRLS. I’M FINE W/THAT, BUT NO GAURANTEES WHEN I’LL WRITE.

SO WHAT CA THE GIRLS POSS. DO WITH ME? A FAV. IS ARGUING 2 SIT ON MY LAP AS THEY PLAY COMP. GAMES, WRITE EMAILS, OR WATTCH A MOVIE W/,E. SINCE FIA CAN READ & JESS (WHILE IMPATIENT) IS BETTER AT READING MY ASL, COMMUNICATION IS LESS A BARRIER 2!

STILL, LIFE W/1 HAND CAN BE EXHAUSTING. IN ADDITION 2 THE EXPECTED WOES (BEING ON THE RT. SIDE 2 PICK UO THINGS LIKE THE REMOTE; 2 DO ANYTHING, LIKE PUSH A BUTTON; OR 2 ACCOMPLISH ANY TASK, LIKE PLAYING THE PIANO OR TYPE-I BET I HAVE THE STRONGEST INDEX FINGER!), THERE’S ALSO STUFF LIKE THIS:

WHEN I GO SOMEWHERE I NEED 2 ACKNOWLEDGE PEOPLE, LIKE CHURCH, I HAVE A CHOICE 2 NOD A HELLO & KEEP DRIVING, OR I CAN STOP DRIVING & USE THAT HAND 2 WAVE HELLO.

IN ORDER 2 RESPOND VIA ASL, IT’S THE SAME. 4 EX., RECENTLY WHILE ON THE COMP, I WAS HIGHLIGHTING TEXT (WHICH TAKES QUITE A WHILE & REQUIRES A LOT OF INTENSE FOCUS W/DOUBLE VISION). AT THE SAME INSTANT, I WAS ASKED A QUES. THAT REQUIRED MORE THAN A YES/NO RESPONSE. I HAD 2 CHOICES: 1. I CAN APPEAR 2 BE RUDE & WAIT 2 ANSWER, SO IT SEEMS I’M IGNORING SOME1 WHO WAITS 4 A RESPONSE, BUT, MEANWHILE MY HEAD IS SHOUTING, "1 SECOND!" 2. ANSWER VIA ASL, THEN START AGAIN 2 DO WHAT I WAS TRYING 2 DO (IN THIS CASE, HIGHLIGHT TEXT).

STILL, I’M GLAD I HAVE 1 HAND (I WASN’T SUPPOSED 2) & MY RT. HAND AT THAT (DID U KNOW MY LEFT HAND, & NOT MY RT. HAND, USED 2 MOVE?). SO MUCH NEEDS MY RT. HAND (AT CHURCH & THANKFULLY, WHILE SLIGHTLY AMBIDEXTROUS, I WAS RT. HAND DOMINANT SO I DIDN’T HAVE 2 START FROM SCRATCH 2 LEARN 2 WRITE & TYPE)!

SCHOOL

NEXT MON., THE KIDS START SCHOOL. BUMMER. MORNINGS WERE MY TIME W/FIA, SO IT'LL BE VERY ODD & LONELY AS SHE IS IN ALL DAY KINDERGARTEN THIS YEAR.

BUT FIA'S VERY READY: SHE TAUGHT HERSELF 2 READ–& SHE EVEN READS W/EXPRESSION IN HER VOICE (NOT BEGINNER MONOTONE)! IT’S KILLING ME (AS A TEACHER, SINCE I DIDN'T TEACH THE "TRADITIONAL" WAY, BUT SHE SEES ME TYPE 2 TALK & DISCIPLINE THE KIDS & WAS DETERMINED 2 LEARN 2 READ VIA CONTEXT CLUES, AS I WAS SILENT IF SHE ASKED, "WHAT'S THAT WORD?"), YET I’M PROUD (AS A MOM)!

THIS IS R ONLY YEAR W/ALL 3 IN THE SAME SCHOOL (JEALOUS? LOL): ZACH–5TH, JESS–2ND, FIA–K. ZACH & JESS CAN READ MY ASL, THOUGH AT DIFF. LEVELS. I BET FIA DOES BY THE END OF THE YEAR, AS SHE KNOWS MY LETTERS BEST (SHE OFTEN HAS ME SPELL A WORD 4 HER), SHE HAS THE IDEA AS SHE SOUNDS OUT LETTERS, & SHE CAN SOMETIMES DO IT.

SORRY

SORRY. MY LIFE'S "ON HOLD." MY COMP. IS SOOO FULL. I’M WORKING ON IT, BUT AM STRESSED SINCE 2 ATTEMPT 2 TAKE CARE OF IT MEANS NO TALKING BY ANSWERING EMAILS OR POSTING ON MY WEBSITE, ETC. I ONLY HAVE 1 FINGER & MUST FOCUS ON WHAT IS MOST PRESSING! SO, I CAN APPEAR IMPATIENT, GRUMPY, STUCK UP, ETC. DEFINATELY DOES NOT HELP ME SLEEP (WED. I WOKE AT 3:00 & THURS. I WOKE AT 1:50) & MY PBA (I’M A MESS, BUT DOESN'T HELP W/AN EMOTIONAL WEEK & NO SLEEP)!

LIKE ANY MOM I KEEP PUTTING MY STUFF ASIDE. “REGUKAR” MOMS CAN DO THIS, BUT SINCE I ONLY HAVE HELP 2X/WEEK, 4 ABOUT 6-8 HOURS & SINCE I’M TWICE AS SLOW & CAN’T DO MY STUFF LATER, THIS TRANSLATES 2 NEEVER DOING MY STUFF, SO MY COMP., MY LIFE, IS BURSTING & IS HAVING TROUBLE CONTAINING STUFF. HAVE 2 FOCUS & TRY 2 CONTAIN IT—

THURS.

IN JR. HIGH, WE WERE ASKED 2 RUN A MILE AT THE BEG. & END OF THE YEAR. R GRADE WAS BASED OFF R IMPROVEMENT. GYM WAS NOT MY FORTE, BUT I WANTED STRAIGHT A'S. SO 2 ENSURE AN "A", THE 1ST 1 I WALKED (& JOGGED IF I SAW THE TEACHER). THE 2ND I REALLY RAN. REMEMBER THIS: "MY KIDS PUSH ME—I WON'T LIE—THERE R DAYS I FEEL DONE TRYING, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THINGS LIKE A CARD FROM ZACH 2 KEEP EXERCISING, OR A WISH 2 SANTA THAT I CAN WALK". NOW, EVERYTIME I TRY 2 "WALK," MY “PERSONAL TRAINER” (MARK) WON’T LET ME! I THINK MY 1ST 30 YRS. OF LIFE, I "WALKED," SO I BETTER "RUN" NOW!