Recovery

ARTICLE & YOU TUBE

ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY BLOG, IS A LINK TO MY YOU-TUBE PAGE, WHICH HAS MANY OF THE VIDEO’S U’VE SEEN (LIKE “JENNY’S STORY, OR THE INTRO 2 ME, OR ME SAYING THE ALPHABET, OR MY OLD BYU ACAPELLA GROUP, THAT SHOWS ME SINGING…) HOWEVER, MY DAD WAS INTERVIEWED FOR AN INVESTING MAGAZINE, & THEY WROTE ABOUT ME TOO (THE STORY IS FROM THE DECEMBER 24, 2012 ISSUE OF FORTUNE. IN THE INVESTOR’S GUIDE–WHICH HAS A COVER WITH GOLD STACKS PICTURED), & AS IT WAS ASSEMBLED, IT REMINDED & MOTIVATED ME 2 ADD THESE VIDEOS:

JENNY LYNN (MOM) GIVES WHEELCHAIR WAGON RIDES TO ZACH (7), JESSIE (5), & SOPHIE (3):

ZACH LYNN,6 YEARS OLD, TRIES OUT MOM’S TILT TABLE–UPSIDE DOWN!:

SOPHIE LYNN WEARS A PACIFIER “TRACHE” TO THE PARTY CELEBRATING MOM’S TRACHE REMOVAL:

WHEN JENNY LYNN HAD ALL 3 TUBES (A TRACHE, CATHTER, & FEEDING TUBE) REMOVED, HER HUSBAND, MARK, THREW HER A TUBE PARTY, WHERE EVERYONE WHO ATTENDED HAD TO WEAR TUBES–SO JENNY WAS THE ONLY PERSON NOT WEARING TUBES.

THE ATTENDEES HAD ALL HAD A SIGNIFICANT ROLE IN JENNY’S PROGRESS, SO MARK HAD MADE THE VIDEO (NAMED “JENNY’S STORY” ON YOUTUBE) TO SHOW AT THE PARTY.

MUSIC:
“Fatboy Slim” from Moulin Rouge:

RITALIN

I STARTED TAKING RITALIN. I LOVE IT! IT HELPS ME FOCUS, PROCESS & RESPOND FASTER, & I’M MORE SENSATIVE 2 THE SUBTLE SPIRITUAL PROMPTINGS! ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE SEEN HOW GOD HAS TURNED A BAD SITUATION GOOD, BECUZ THE DOCTOR WHO PERSCRIBED RITALIN, IS A REFERRAL FROM THE NEUROLOGIST THAT I MET, BECUZ OF MY FALL!

MY LAST POST, I STARTED WRITING THE NIGHT B4, BUT I WAS CONFUSED HOW 2 SAY THINGS…THE NEXT MORNING I TRIED RITALIN 4 THE 1ST TIME, & THEN WENT 2 WORK ON MY POST, WHICH WAS SO EASY 2 WRITE, & SEEMED 2 “FALL” INTO PLACE!

L8R THAT DAY, I SAW THE MOVIE, “LIFE OF PI” & LOVED IT, BUT I’M NOT SURE IF I LOVED IT, BECUZ IT REALLY WAS GOOD, OR BECUZ I WAS ABLE 2 PROCESS A MOVIE WELL 4 THE 1ST TIME IN 8 YEARS! LOL MY FAVORITE QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE WAS:
“Even when God seemed to have abandoned me, he was watching. Even when he seemed indifferent to my suffering, he was watching. And when I was beyond all hope of saving, he gave me rest. Then he gave me a sign to continue my journey.”
Life of Pi movie

I FOUND THE QUOTE ON A WEBSITE, WHERE IT EXPLAINED WHY I LIKED THE QUOTE: One of the greatest gifts my life journey has helped me with was the deeper relationship I have now with God. And hearing the above quote in the movie Life of Pi touched my soul because I have experienced it time and time again. And I feel so grateful that yet another cinematic experience can communicate something so personal to me AND that I can now recommend to others going through difficult times.
(http://motivatorman.blogspot.com/2012/11/tip608-god-in-cinema-life-of-pi.html )

TALKING WHEN UPSET

I’’M HITTING THE “PEAK” OF MY “GOOD TALKING CYCLE” RIGHT NOW, SO I AM HAVING MORE DAYS WHERE I CAN TALK. & SOMETIMES THERE ARE MIXED FEELINGS WHEN I TALK WELL.

4 EX., WHEN I GET UPSET W/MY KIDS, OBVIOUSLY, I SOMEHOW TAKE IN MORE AIR, & AM LOUDER, BUT FOR SOME REASON, I CONTROL THE RELASE OF MY AIR BETTER, SO I AM ABLE 2 BE CLEARER. FEW PEOPLE HAVE SEEN THIS OCCUR (EXCEPT MAYBE MK’S DAD, & 1 OF MY KID’S FRIENDS), BECUZ IN ORDER 4 IT 2 HAPPEN, I’M USUALLY HOME ALONE W/THE KIDS, & I AM REALLY UPSET, WISHING I COULD PHYSICALLY MOVE, SO I GUESS ALL MY ENERGY & ADRENALINE GOES INTO MY SPEECH!.

MONDAY, I HAD A CHILD DRIVING ME CRAZY…I HAD ALREADY TOLD THIS KID 3 TIMES TO DO A CHORE, THEN MK CAME HOME & ALL THE KIDS GOT TALKED TO ABOUT THE JOB, & WHEN THE KIDS WERE TOLD TO FINISH THE JOB, THIS KID CONTINUED 2 TRY TO GET OUT OF THE SAME PART OF THE JOB THAT HE/SHE HAD BEEN AVOIDING ALL DAY! I WAS FURIOUS & YELLED AT THIS KID TO “DO IT NOW!” (POINTING AT IT)

THE CHILD BRIEFLY SMILED AT ME, & ANOTHER CHILD WAS SO BLOWN AWAY BY ME, HE/SHE EXCLAIMED, “MOM,!” & HUGGED ME…IT CAN BE SUPER TOUGH SOMETIMES 2 STAY IN THE MODE OF DISCIPLINARIAN WHEN THIS OCCURS, & I THINK THE KIDS AREN’T SURE IF THEY SHOULD BE MAD AT ME, OR PROUD OF MY SPEECH! LOL I KNOW SOPH HAS POINTED THAT OUT—ABOUT HOW SHE CAN HAVE CONFLICTING FEELINGS ABOUT MY ABILITY 2 SPEAK WHEN SHE IS DISCIPLINED!

I’M SO EXCITED!

I FEEL GOD’S HAND IN MY LIFE AGAIN…WHEN CARA LEFT, I FOUND A NEW CAREGIVER/”HELPER.” & MY “HELPER” BRINGS HER BABY 2 WORK. I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED BABIES, BUT NOW I HAVE A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS, & UNDERSTAND THEM MORE, CUZ I HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WITH BABIES!

MY “HELPER’S” BABY, & I “TALK”—SOPH GETS A KICK OUT OF SEEING US HAVE A CONVERSATION, CUZ WE BOTH SAY THINGS NO1 ELSE UNDERSTANDS, BUT WE ACT LIKE WE TOTALLY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! LOL I ALSO DO A LOT OF COPYING HIM (LIKE WATCHING & TRYING 2 COPY HOW HE MAKES MOTORCYCLE NOISES OR PRETENDS 2 COUGH) OR I’LL TRY 2 SCREAM LOUDER THAN HIM! ANGIE PUTS UP W/IT SO WELL! LOL IT’S A MIRACLE HOW WELL SHE PUTS UP W/IT! LOL

BETWEEN ANGIE’S BABY, & THIS E-STIM AB BELT THAT MK FOUND 4 ME, I HAVE REALLY BEEN STRENGTHENING MY ABS, WHICH SHOULD HELP NOT ONLY W/MY SPEECH, BUT HOPEFULLY 2 BUILD MY CORE, SO I CAN EVENTUALLY WALK!

YESTERDAY, I WAS SO EXCITED! U’LL NEED 2 BE MUSICAL 2 TRULY GET THIS, BUT I’LL DO MY BEST 2 EXPLAIN IT. MAYBE THIS’LL HELP: THE NOTES ON A KEYBOARD ARE NAMED IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER, FROM A 2 G. SO IF U START ON C, THEN TO THE RIGHT IS THE F KEY, THEN THE G KEY, & THEN IT STARTS OVER AS THE A KEY. TO THE LEFT IS THE D KEY, THEN THE C KEY, THEN ANOTHER A KEY. ARE U FOLLOWING, OR DID I ALREADY LOSE U? LOL.

MONDAY WAS A GREAT VOCAL DAY, SO I WAS PRACTICING MY MUSIC THERAPY (MATCHING PITCHES I HEARD ON THE KEYBOARD W/MY VOICE, DOING AN OCTAVE SLIDE FROM ONE B KEY, UP TO THE NEXT B KEY, & PRACTICING THE PLAYING & SINGING A SONG)

AFTER RESTING, I WENT BACK 2 MATCHING PITCHES, & NOTICED THAT I WAS DOING VERY LITTLE SLIDING (LIKE NORMAL) 2 REACH A PITCH, SO I DECIDED 2 SEE HOW HIGH I COULD GO…I WENT TO THE HIGH A (LIKE OVER AN OCTAVE ABOVE MIDDLE C)–! IN OTHER WORDS, SUPER HIGH! I HAVEN’T REACHED THAT PITCH SINCE MY STROKE! AFTER E, THERE COULDBE NO SLIDING–I HAD 2 PUNCH IT HARD, & HIT THE NOTE. I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT, SO I DID IT AGAIN! LIKE THE 3RD OR 4TH TIME, I WAS TIRED (I PRACTICED LIKE 30 MIN.), STARTED SLIDING 2 MATCH PITCHES, & COULDN’T GET ABOVE E–BUT, STILL! I WAS SO EXCITED!

L8R THAT DAY, I DID “CANDLE THERAPY” W/ANGIE, & BLEW THE CANDLE OUT 25 TIMES IN 2 MIN., INSTEAD OF 20-30 MIN.! MY AB MUSCLES JUST WERE PULLING IN QUICK & SHARP… THEN L8R, I SHOWED MY MOM THE SONG I’M PLAYING AS I SING (IT WASN’T GREAT, BUT THX 2 MY NEW PBA DRUGS I COULD GET THROUGH IT OK!), & THE INCREDIBLE RANGE I HAD YESTERDAY… MY MOM CRIED…I DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS CUZ I CAN DO IT, OR CUZ I SHOWED HER (LOL–AS A KID, I WAS SHY, & WOULDN’T SING IN FRONT OF HER!) I DIDN’T THINK I COULD DO IT AGAIN, BUT I COULD, & EVEN THOUGH I SLID WHEN I SHOWED MY MOM, IT WAS A SHORT SLIDE, & IT WAS EASIER! GO FIGURE!

I CAN’T DO IT 2DAY (MY AB MUSCLES ARE SORE THOUGH, SO MAYBE THAT HAS SOMETHING 2 DO WITH IT!), BUT I’M SINGING VERY WELL-MORE ON PITCH & I’M HAVING AN EASIER TIME HITTING THE HIGH NOTES IN SONGS EASIER!

I’M HERE STILL!

IT’S BEEN AWHILE, & I HAVE 4 REASONS WHY. & SINCE THE KIDS ARE BEING ENTERTAINED BY MK’S PARENTS, I THOUGHT I’D TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THHE EXTRA TYPING TIME 2 SHARE WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON:

1. I TRIED OUT A NEW MEDICINE, BUT IT MADE ME SO TIRED, THAT FOR 4 DAYS I COULDN’T EVEN DO THERAPY OR TYPE! (EVEN IF I’M SICK, I CAN TYPE A LITTLE!) MY “HELPER,” ANGIE, BRINGS HER BABY/TODDLER TO WORK (WHO I LOVE 2 BITS!), & I JUST LEANED BACK & LET HIM ENTERTAIN ME, WHILE ANGIE WORKED! LOL
2. I’VE BEEN RESEARCHING & TYPING A YW LESSON INSTEAD…I TEACH THIS SUNDAY, & THERE WAS SOME CONFUSION, SO I ENDED UP PLANNING 2 LESSONS!
3. I’VE BEEN ENJOYING SOME NEW-FOUND INDEPENDENCE, SO I AM ON THE COMPUTER LESS, DOING THESE THINGS:
• I CAN NOW FEED MYSELF MOST THINGS, WITH OR W/O UTENSILS (I PREFER MY HANDS, BUT I DID PRE-STROKE TOO!)
• I CAN USUALLY MOVE MY OWN BUTT RIGHT, BACK, OR 4WARD (I “STEER” W/MY HEAD)
• I DRY DISHES, CLEAN COUNTERS & DRAWERS, CLOSE CABINETS, & MOVE LIGHT-WEIGHT FURNITURE
• I PUT IN & TAKE OUT CDS, THUMBDRIVES, & MEMORY CARDS ON MY COMPUTER
• MY WORDS ARE GETTING SO CLEAR THAT OTHERS UNDERSTAND ME!
• SOMETIMES I CAN LIFT & MOVE MY LEGS RIGHT
• I’M GETTING STRONGER: IF LAYING (THOUGH IT CAN BE DIFFICULT), I CAN RAISE MY LEFT ARM OVER MY HEAD W/THE USE OF MY RIGHT ARM
• I CAN UNWRAP CERTAIN THINGS (LIKE THINGS TWISTED CLOSED, SEALED WITH A TYPE OF LIGHTER “FOIL”, ETC.)
• I CAN LEAN 4WARD & SCRATCH MY ANKLE,, ADJUST A SOCK, OR RETRIEVE THINGS THAT FELL & LANDED ON MY FOOTREST
4. I NEED 2 FIND MY NEW BALANCE! I OPENED UP A FACEBOOK (FB) & PINTREST ACCOUNT. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HOW I’D SPEND MY TIME ON BOTH, KNOWING I MIGHT LIKE THEM, & SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THEM (INSTEAD OF DOING THINGS W/MY FAMILY), SO I AVOIDED JOINING FB & PINTREST. HOWEVER, IN TRYING 2 DO MY CHURCH CALLING BETTER (WHERE I TEACH TEENAGE GIRLS), & SO I COULD CONNECT BETTER W/EXTENDED FAMILY & MY TEENS, I FINALLY GAVE IN, & JOINED FB, & I DECIDED THAT IF I WAS GIVING IN TO ONE, I MIGHT AS WELL DO BOTH, & GET IT OVER WITH! LOL

THE 1ST FEW DAYS WERE BAD! LUCKILY, THOUGH, I HAD “PREPPED” BY READING A CHURCH ARTICLE, SO I WAS AWARE WHEN I WAS SPENDING WAY TOO LONG ON THERE, HAVING A BETTER RELATIONSHIP W/MY KEYBOARD. & I KNEW WHAT I NEEDED TO DO 2 FIGHT IT…THERE ARE SOME GREAT STROKE SUPPORT GROUPS ON FB, & I LOVED FEELING MORE INVOLVED IN THE LIVES OF FAMILY & FRIENDS, BUT BEING PART OF THEIR VIRTUAL LIVES, IS NOT THE SAME AS FACE-2-FACE, & I DO GET LONELY, EVEN THOUGH I’M “TALKING” 2 PEOPLE!

I REALIZED THAT AFTER I JOINED FB, I WAS HAVING A HARD TIME “SQUEEZING IN” ANYTHING SPIRITUAL INTO MY DAY, BUT I WAS MAKING ROOM 4 FB JUST FINE! SO, I MADE A NEW COMMITMENT THAT I WOULDN’T DO ANYTHING ON FB UNTIL I’VE READ THE SCRIPTURES OR THE CHURCH MAGAZINE, THE ENSIGN….& I’M JUST STUBBORN ENOUGH 2 DO IT, & 2 FORCE MYSELF 2 STAY COMMITTED! LOL

I GO THROUGH SPURTS READING MY SCRIPTURES, & AT 1ST, IT MOTIVATED ME ENOUGH 2 READ ANYTIME OF DAY (I USE READTHESCRIPTURES.COM, BECUZ THEY DAILY SEND YOUR SCRIPTURE READING FOR THE DAY, IN AN EMAIL, & I GO ONLINE, SO IT CAN BE ENLARGED, HIGHLIGHTED, & READ ALOUD). NOW, WHEN MY HUBBY TEACHES SEMINARY, I READ EVERY MORN., WHILE HE TEACHES.

BUT, I FELT GUILTY IF I READ MY SCRIPTURES FOR 15 MIN., & THEN SAID THAT I’M FREE TO SPEND HOURS ON FB! SO, I WANTED 2 TRY TO BE FAIR, & READ SOMETHING SPIRITUAL EVERYTIME, BEFORE I EVER GET ON FB. IT WAS EXHAUSTING, BUT WORKED WELL!

HOWEVER, I STILL CAN’T SEEM 2 FIND A GOOD BALANCE W/FB OR PINTREST—EITHER I’M ON TOO MUCH, OR I AVOID IT, SO I WILL ACCOMPLISH OTHER THINGS, & AM HARDLY EVER ON. LATELY, I PREFER 2 NOT BE ON, BECUZ I ACCOMPLISH LESS WHEN I’M ON, & I DID FINE W/O FB B4! PINTREST IS A BIT STICKIER, BECUZ I DO NOT BROWSE—JUST THE INITIAL SET-UP IS TIME-CONSUMING, BUT BOTH FB & PINTREST CAN EAT UP YOUR TIME!

I THINK THE KEY IS TO JUST DO THESE AS A “REWARD” OR SOMETHING, ALLOTTING THE TIME 4 OTHER THINGS THAT KEEP U BALANCED (& FOR ME, I NEED TO WORK ON MY SPIRITUAL SIDE, AS MUCH AS MY EMOTIONAL SIDE!)