1. I PRAY ALL THE TIME! & I DON’T HESITATE 2 TELL THE LORD IF I’M AT MY BREAKING POINT, EITHER…BUT I DON’T JUST LAY MY TROUBLES IN HIS LAP & LEAVE! I ASK 4 HELP, & SOMEHOW THE LOAD IS EITHER LIGHTENED, OR I GET STRONGER! B4 MY PBA MEDS, I ALWAYS PRAYED 2 BE STRONG ENOUGH, & CONTROL MY PBA WHEN I FACED SOMETHING EMOTIONAL! SOMEHOW, I GOT STRONGER EVERYTIME!
2. I BELIEVE IN CONTINUAL REVELATION FROM GOD, SO I RECEIVE TONS OF PPRIESTHOOD BLESSINGS, SO I CAN HAVE EXTRA STRENGTH & GUIDANCE FROM GOD IN MY LIFE. (IN FACT, WE JOKE ABOUT HOW LONG A BLESSING LASTS! LOLL)
3. MK HAS HELPED CHANGE MY PERSPECTATIVE…WHEN I 1ST HAD MY STROKE, I GOT DEPRESSED A LOT, & WONDERED, “WHY ME?” WISH I COULD SAY THAT I NEVER WENT THROUGH IT, OR THAT I QUICKLY CHANGED, BUT I CAN’T! IT TOOK MEE YEARS, BUT NOW IF I’M FACED W/SOMETHING THAT COULD TURN SOUR, I TRY 2 SEE THE GOOD. 1 EX., WHEN I GET A RUN IN MY STOCKING, I THINK ABOUT HOW GREAT IT IS THAT I CAN JUST TURN MY NYLONS SO THE RUN ISN’T SEEN WHEN I WEAR IT!
4. I’M NOT THE BEST AT THIS, BUT I TRY 2 TRUST THAT GOD KNOWS BETTER THAN ME. 4 EX., I HAVE DOUBLE VISION, WHICH HAS IT’S SHARE OF TRIALS. AT 1ST, I PRAYED 2 HAVE IT GO AWAY, & I GOT VERY HURT & UPSET THAT IT WAS LIKE MY PRAYERS “BOUNCED OFF THE CEILING.” I DIDN’T GET IT…IT WAS A RIGHTEOUS DESIRE, & I WAS DOING ALL I COULD! BUT IT BECAME A CHALLENGE 2 DEAL W/IT, & I BEGAN 2 SEE WHY I WAS GLAD IT WASN’T GONE: I ABSOLUTELY HATE PUBLIC SPEAKING, & WHILE I CAN SEE EVEY1 INDIVIDUALLY, IF THEY ARE POINTED OUT, IF THET ARE NOT POINTED OUT, THEN AFTER THE 1ST FEW FEET, EVERY1 IS A “BLOB!” I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN 2 EXPLAIN HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS 4 ME AS I TEACH THE YOUNG WOMEN AT CHURCH, OR WHEN I SPEAK AT CHURCH OR SOMEWHERE LIKE A MEDICAL CONFERENCE! I NEVER KNEW THAT MY DOUBLE VISION WOULD BE A BLESSING, BUT GOD KNEW…
5. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT THIS LIFE IS “JUST A MOMENT,” THAT I AM A DAUGHTER OF GOD, & THAT GOD LOVES ME, KNOWS MY HEART, & WILL HELP, IF I JUST ASK. I HAVE SEEN HOW MY BELIEFS HAVE HELPED ME, & MY FAMILY, & I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY RELIGION (THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS/LDS/MORMONISM), & 4 JESUS CHRIST’S EXAMPLE DURING TRIALS.

REALIZE THAT I TRY 2 WRITE ON MY BLOG ON MY BETTER DAYS! I GET DOWN TOO, & HAVE PITY PARTIES. IT’S ONLY NATURAL, & IS ESSENTIAL IN ORDER 2 BE A BETTER PERSON! REMEMBERTHAT U’LL NEVER WORK ON IMPROVING YOURSELF, IF U DON’T THINK U NEED 2 IMPROVE!

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MY FAITH:

IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A CHURCH BUILDING, YOU CAN USE THIS URL: ( http://mormon.org/meetinghouse ) TO FIND THE CHURCH CLOSEST TO YOU. BRING ANYONE U WANT WITH U! VISITORS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.

GIRLS USUALLY WILL WEAR DRESSES, & GUYS USUALLY WEAR DRESS SHIRTS, DRESS SLACKS, & SOME WEAR TIES (EITHER W/A DRESS SHIRT & SLACKS, OR WITH A SUIT). THERE ARE THREE 1-HR. MEETINGS:
1. SACRAMENT, WITH THE FAMILYS
2. SUNDAY SCHOOL-THE KIDS ARE SPLIT BY AGE GROUPS, BUT THE ADULTS ARE TOGETHER
3. THE MEN & WOMEN USUALLY SPLIT INTO RELIEF SOCIETY (FOR THE WOMEN) & PRIESTHOOD (4 THE MEN), BUT THIS SUNDAY IS A 5TH SUNDAY, SO WE MEET TOGETHER.

U CAN JUST DO THE 1ST MEETING, BUT U ARE WELCOME 2 ALL 3. 1 THING: WE LOVE VISITORS, SO IF U STAY, THEY MAY INVITE U 2 STAND & INTRODUCE YOURSELF, BUT IT’S UP TO YOU!

IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO LEARN MORE, THE FULL TIME MISSIONARIES ARE AVAILABLE FOR JUST THAT PURPOSE AND I CAN GET YOU CONNECTED OR YOU CAN REQUEST CONTACT ON YOUR OWN ( http://mormon.org/missionaries ). I AM ALWAYS WILLING TO ANSWER ANY QUESTION YOU HAVE AS WELL.

NO. IF ANYTHING, I SLEEP LESS.

B4 THE STROKE, I SLEPT 6-7 HOURS, & NOW I AM LIKE AN ALARM CLOCK, & WIDE AWAKE AFTER 6 HRS. OR UNTIL THE SUN STARTS RISING…& I DON’T NAP. MY HUSBAND COMPLAINS, BECUZ THE DOCTORS PROMISED THAT I’D SLEEP MORE NOW, SO I GUESS MOST STROKE SURVIVORS DO! IF I MOVED MORE, I THINK I WOULD, BECUZ GOING OUT & ABOUT WIPES ME OUT! I’VE NEVER RUN A MARATHON, BUT THERE ARE SIMPLE TASKS THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I RAN AT LEAST A FEW MILES! JUST SITTING UPRIGHT IN MY CHAIR WAS TAXING, UNTIL I GOT STRONGER, & STAYING UPRIGHT IN A MOVING VEHICLE STILL CAN BE HARD! IN FACT, I STARTED DOING MUSIC THERAPY AT HOME (LUCKILY, I HAVE A MUSIC ROOM AT HOME), BECUZ IT WIPED ME OUT JUST DRIVING THERE!

& NOW IT’S GETTING WORSE, BECUZ MY LEGS HAVE STARTED SHAKING (MAYBE IT’S LIKE RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME? WHATEVER IT IS, IT’S ANNOYING) I’M TRYING THE DRUG BACLOPHEN 2 HELP W/SLEEP ISSUES (TO RELAX MY LEG, & IT HAS A SIDE EFFECT OF BEING TIRED), BUT A FULL PILL IS MAKING ME A ZOMBIE IN THE DAY, & 1/2 A PILL ISN’T HELPING EITHER–I’M LIKE “1/2 A ZOMBIE,” WHO CAN AT LEAST TYPE, BUT I DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO EVEN TALK, AND MY LEGS STILL SHAKE AFTER ABOUT 6 HOURS!

THE MOST DRASTIC CHANGE HAS BEEN THAT I WAS A NIGHT OWL, & NOW AM IN BED EARLY, BUT NOT BECUZ I’VE CHANGED–THAT’S JUST WHEN MY HELP GOES 2 BED! LOL JUST AS I GO TO BED EARLY & WAKE & LAY THERE SO MY HUSBAND CAN REST (I CAN LISTEN 2 AUDIO BOOKS ON MY IPOD, LAYING THERE, BUT USUALLY I JUST PRAY, THINK/PONDER, & STARE AT THE CEILING 4 HRS.), MY HUSBAND STAYS UP AS LATE AS HE CAN 4 ME. IF U FACTOR IN MY SHAKING LEG & THAT I BARELY SLEEP, MY HUSBAND IS A SAINT 4 MAKING IT POSSIBLE 4 US 2 SHARE A BED!

THERE’S THE MORE OBVIOUS PHYSICAL THINGS:
1. UNABLE 2 WALK
2. UNABLE 2 SPEAK
3. PBA (NO CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS)
4. MY LEFT SIDE IS “PARALYZED” (IT DOESN’T MOVE, BUT IT STILL FEELS—LOTS OF “FUN!”)
5. DOUBLE VISION
6. I MOVE & SIGN SLOW, & IF I FEEL FAST, I’M STILL SLOW! IF I GO FAST, MY EYES CAN’T FOCUS, & IF I TRY 2 FOCUS, I CAN GET MOTION SICKNESS.
7. I HAVE A MUCH SLOWER REACTION TIME. IN ORDER 2 GET ME READY 4 DRIVING MY POWER CHAIR, I PLAYED ARCADE GAMES, ESP. PAC-MAN. I REACTED SO SLOW WHEN THE GHOSTS CAME AFTER ME! IT WAS SO HARD!

HOWEVER, NOW I CAN BASICALLY
1. MOVE MY HEAD & RIGHT ARM
2. TYPE/HANDWRITE
3. STAND/WALK IF I’M HELD RIGHT, W/MY HUSBAND’S SUPPORT
4. KNEE BENDS ON MY TILT TABLE
5. PLAY PIANO & DO OTHER FINE MOTOR STUFF
6. I’M LEARNING 2 TALK
THIS LIST COULD GO ON…LOL

THEN, THERE ARE THE THINGS THAT ARE LESS OBVIOUS, THOUGH:
1. I HAVE HAD A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS
2. I HAVE A SHORTER ATTENTION SPAN. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE HAVE ADD (ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER). IF I LISTEN 2 AN AUDIO BOOK ALONE OR WATCH A MOVIE ALONE, IT TAKES HOURS, BECUZ I REWIND SO MUCH 2 SEE WHAT I MISSED! SO MANY TIMES, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A SHOW IS ABOUT, BECUZ I TRY 2 WATCH IT STRAIGHT THROUGH, LIKE A “NORMAL PERSON.”
3. MY HEARING IS WORSE IN SOME WAYS. KNOW HOW IN A CROWDED RESTURANT, U CAN SOMEHOW HEAR YOUR FRIEND’S VOICE THE BEST? I CAN’T. ALL THAT BACKGROUND NOISE (EVEN THE MUSIC PLAYING & THE AIR CONDITIONER), ARE AS LOUD AS MY FRIEND! SO, USUALLY, I CAN’T HEAR MUCH.
4. LOSING CONTROL OF MY ENVIROMENT HAS GREATLY INCREASED MY ANXIETY. I AM SO BLESSED THAT MY HUSBAND IS A THERAPIST! (SOMETIMES IT IS A CHALLENGE BEING MARRIED 2 A THERAPIST, BUT OVERALL, THAT HAS COME IN HANDY SEVERAL TIMES FOR ME, AS WELL AS 4 MY CHILDREN, & I CONSIDER IT A HUGE BLESSING!)
5. I CAN’T ALWAYS THINK FAST & PROCESS COMMENTS SLOW SOMETIMES.
6. MATH IS HARDER. LUCKILY, I WAS REALLY GOOD AT MATH, SO I’M STILL GOOD, JUST SLOW, ONCE I “BRUSH UP” ON CONCEPTS. STRATEGY GAMES ARE IMPORTANT TO KEEP MY MIND SHARP
7. I HAVE A BIG TEMPER NOW, THAT CAN FLARE UP AT THE DROP OF A HAT
8. I’VE NEVER HAD A GREAT MEMORY, SO I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS STROKE-RELATED, OR IF I’M JUST GETTING OLD, BUT MANY OF MY MEMORIES SEEMED “LOCKED IN A VAULT,” BECUZ THEY ARE THERE, & COME OUT OF THE VAULT, IF THEY ARE MENTIONED.

BUT PROBABLY THE BIGGEST THING IS THAT MY FAITH & TESTIMONY HAVE BEEN TRIED, & INCREASED. THAT HAS BEEN A BLESSING, & I’M FORTUNATE 2 HAVE A FAMILY WHO CAN HELP ME WEATHER THE STORM.

NOT REALLY, BUT THE STROKE INCREASED MY ANXIETY LEVELS. WHILE I’M NOT APPREHENSIVE ABOUT TRYING THINGS THAT I DID PRE-STROKE, IF THE EXPIERENCE IS SOMETHING NEW 2 ME, ANXIETY MAY GET IN THE WAY.

& IF IT INVOLVES PBA, IT’S A YES. NOT FUN 2 MAKE A SCENE & SOB, IF I’M JUST SLIGHTLY FRUSTRATED OR ANNOYED. & I AM INFURIATED IF I LAUGH AT A MISBEHAVING CHILD OR WHEN SOME1 UPSETS ME! SOME EMOTIONAL STUFF IS JUST EASIER 2 HIDE FROM. MY PBA PILL, NEUDEXTA HELPS 2 A POINT, BUT MY BODY SOMETIMES SEEMS 2 BE “GETTING USED TO IT.” OR MAYBE I’M EITHER 4GETTING HOW BAD IT WAS W/O IT, OR I’M “PUSHING THE LIMITS!” LOL

BUT USUALLY,I LIKE CHALLENGES & IT IS A CHALLENGE 2 CONQUER THINGS 1-HANDED, OR TO BE STRONG ENOUGH! I LOVE FEELING THE SUCCESS, & AM 2 STUBBORN 2 GIVE IN. & IT GETS OLD ALWAYS ASKING FOR HELP!

FUNNY: TUESDAY, MY SON WAS SITTING ON A CURB AT SEA WORLD, & I COULD’VE ASKED HIM 2 MOVE MY LEFT FOOT BACK, ONTO THE FOOTREST, BUT INSTEAD, I CAREFULLY DROVE TOWARDS THE CURB, 2 PUSH MY OWN FOOT BACK. MY SON COMMENTED HOW I COULD’VE JUST ASKED, & THAT IS TRUE…BUT I DIDN’T ASK. SOME OF THAT WAS MY TODDLER-LIKE ATTITUDE OF, “I WANT 2 DO IT MYSELF,” & SOME WAS THAT I JUST GET TIRED OF ASKING 4 HELP W/EVERYTHING, AND SOME IS JUST LIKING THE CHALLENGE OF FINDING A CREATIVE SOLUTION!