it’s been 2 long…been sick & busy, but there’s no excuse the last few days!

SO, I FIGURE I’M A BLONDE, POLISH, A WOMAN, & BRAIN DAMAGED, SO I COVER MOST BASES OF THE “DUMB” JOKES.

I’M ACTUALLY NERDY SMART. GRADUATED HIGHEST HONORS, ETC., YET EVER SINCE MY STROKE, I LITERALLY MENTALLY “FREEZE” IF ANXIOUS, SO I TAKE PRECAUTIONS 4 THAT SO IT AVOIDS FEELING DUMB. THXS 2 A SUGGESTION FROM MY SISTER, I’VE EXPANDED ON AN IDEA, & NOW I HAVE A GREAT NEW SYSTEM THAT I WANT 2 SHARE, BECUZ IT HAS REALLY HELPED ME, & MIGHT HELP SOME1 ELSE 2:

I HAVE 2 KEYRINGS OF “STOCK PHRASES” 2 SAY THINGS 2 OTHERS WHO CAN’T SIGN, & A SECOND KEYRING 2 DISCIPLINE MY KIDS, SO THEY CAN’T PULL THE “I DON’T UNDERSTAND U” THING, OR IF THEY ARE JUST 2 IMPATIENT 4 ME 2 SIGN THE WHOLE THING (THEY R GETTING 2 THE POINT WHERE THEY JUST C THE CARDS, & KNOW WHAT I WANT 2 SAY)!

2 IMAGINE THEM, I PRINT PHRASES & CUT THEM OUT (C THE PHRASES BELOW), ATTACHED THEM 2 HALF AN INDEX CARD, PUNCHED, & PUT THEM ON A KEYRING. I KEEP THEM IN MY WHEELCHAIR POCKET SO WHEN A KID CLAIMS THE “CAN’T UNDERSTAND U” GAME, OR SOME1 WHO CAN’T SIGN COMES BY & I WANT 2 TALK 2 THEM, I CAN JUST WHIP OUT THE APPROPRIATE CARD AND POINT TO A PHRASE. IT IS THE GREATEST THING, ESP. THE CARD INTRODUCING MYSELF—PEOPLE R LESS “SCARED” OF ME.

IN ORDER 2 QUICKLY FIND THE CORRECT PHRASE NEEDED 2 DISCIPLINE THE KIDS W/O SIGNING, I USED COLORED INDEX CARDS 4 THEIR KEYRING:
1. FLOURESCENT YELLOW: WARNING
2. FLOURESCENT PINK: PUNISHMENT
3. FLOURESCENT GREEN: COMMAND
4. PASTEL BLUE: INSTRUCTION

SOME OF THE PHRASES ARE :*STOP HURTING YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER, * IF U CHOOSE TO IGNORE OR YELL AT ME, U’LL BE GROUNDED, * U ARE GROUNDED, * IF U CHOOSE TO IGNORE OR YELL AT ME, U WILL WEED, * U NEED TO WEED, * TIME OUT, * DO IT NOW! , * DO IT, OR I’LL TELL DAD!, *STOP WHINING & JUST DO IT!, *GET OFF YOUR BUTT!, * HURRY UP!, *GET READY FOR BED, *PICK UP YOUR ROOM, *PICK UP YOUR TOYS, *SHARE, * QUIET PLEASE!

THE 2ND KEYRING IS WHITE, & IS 2 TALK QUICKLY, OR 2 THOSE WHO CAN’T SIGN:
* I NEED TO LEAVE, * I’LL BE BACK, * OPEN & HOLD OPEN DOOR, * PUT LEFT FOOT ON FOOTREST, *I NEED A WARM BLANKET , *SUNGLASSES ON, *PULL MY KNEES A LITTLE BIT, *BACK OF SHIRT DOWN, * GET MARK, * I EMAILED YOU, I’M FROM AUSTIN, TX, IF I CRY/LAUGH, JUST IGNORE ME–IT IS PART OF MY STROKE, HI! MY NAME IS JENNY LYNN. I CAN’T TALK, BUT I CAN HEAR & NOD “YES” OR “NO”

IN ADDITION, I GOT A MAGNA DOODLE 4 X-MAS–IT WAS MY FAV. GIFT. I’VE BEEN WANTING A CHALKBOARD, BUT IMAGINE THE MESS, & IF I DROPPED THE CHALK! I HAVE BEEN “WRITING” ON MY LEG 4 MONTHS NOW.

A MAGNA DOODLE IS WAY BETTER, PURE GENIOUS! I HAVE USED IT 2 TALK 2 THOSE WHO CAN’T SIGN, 2 HELP THOSE LEARNING 2 SIGN (IF THEY ARE STUCK & KEEP GUESSING A LETTER WRONG, I CAN WRITE IT), & 2 QUICKLY & QUIETLY SAY THINGS (I’M QUIET, BUT THE OTHER PERSON SPEAKS MY WORDS, PLUS I CAN WRITE DURING MY OWN TIME, & L8R JUST SHOW SOME1 WHAT I WROTE, WHICH IS FASTER THAN READING MY ASL.

I AM NOT A GREAT WRITER, & I USED 2 HATE WRITING, DUE 2 MY DOUBLE VISION, BUT ODDLY, I SUDDENLY ALSO LIKE FEEDING MYSELF (& USED 2 HATE THAT 2, BECAUSE IT WAS HARDER 2 RAISE MY ARM, & I HAD POOR AIM, SO I MADE A BIGGER MESS, & COULDN’T WIPE MY FACE CLEAN)

I ALWAYS TRY NEW STUFF, WONDERING IF I CAN DO IT, & IF NOT, I FIND OUT WHAT I NEED 2 DO 2 GET THERE (LIKE “POPCORN THERAPY”–I USED 2 NEED MY ARM SUPPORT IN ORDER 2 EAT POPCORN AT THE MOVIES…I HAVE WORKED IN VARIOUS WAYS 2 REACH MY MOUTH W/O MY ARM SUPPORT. NOW I CAN REACH, BUT IT’S TRICKY, SO I DO “POPCORN THERAPY”: I NEVER MISS AN OPPORTUNITY 2 EAT POPCORN W/O MY ARM SUPPORT DURING A MOVIE. IT’S SLOW GOING, & BY MID-SHOW, I’M TIRED…I AM SLOW ENOUGH 4 A BOWL 2 TAKE 2 HRS., BUT I FIGURE THAT THE MOVIE DISTRACTS ME ENOUGH THAT CONTINUAL REPS HURT LESS. I TIRE OUT, BUT LAST LONGER IT SEEMS–THE MOVIE DISTRACTION WORKS WONDERS!)

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, RIGHT?