COMP./KIDS

WHEN I WAS 1ST RE-INTRODUCED 2 THE COMP., STUFF WAS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE. I RECALL WRITING LIKE A 3 SENTENCE E-MAIL THAT TOOK 3 HOURS. MY DOUBLE VISION IS NOT ALL BETTER, BUT A FAR CRY BETTER. THIS WEEK MY EYES DECIDED 2 MISBEHAVE 4 A FEW HOURS OFF & ON, & I REVERTED BACK 2 THE OLD, FRUSTRATING WAYS. I’M SO VERY GRATEFUL THAT, THOUGH MY VISION IS STILL BAD, IT BEHAVES LOTS BETTER & NOW I HAVE A KEYGUARD–WHICH IS ESSENTIALLY A PIECE OF PLASTIC SO MY HAND CAN REST–2 EASE TYPING.

SPEAKING OF COMP.: AWHILE AGO, MARK INSTANT MESSAGED (IMed) ME FROM THE UPSTAIRS, & I WAS DOWNSTAIRS. A BIT LATER HE APPEARED, BUT I ODDLY GOT AN IM FROM HIS SCREENNAME. WE PLAYED ALONG (IT WAS ZACH, & HE FOUND OUR CHAT HILARIOUS—WE DID 2!)

ZACH EXPLAINED IM & R CHAT 2 JESS, WHILE I WAS GONE. WHEN I RETURNED, IT WAS JESS’ TURN 2 IM ME, DISGUISED AS MARK. FIA ACTUALLY TRULY LEARNED 2 READ THAT DAY AS SHE SAT BY JESS OR I & READ, BY SOUNDING OUT, R CHAT (& SUGGESTING RESPONSES, WHICH SHE WAS THRILLED IF THEY WERE USED.)

THIS WAS SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE I GOT 2 INTERACT & BE SILLY W/MY KIDS. THE LAST 3 YRS., THERE’S BEEN LITTLE I CAN VERBALLY DO & INTERACT “SILLY” W/MY KIDS. SURE, WE PLAY GAMES, EMAIL, & ZACH HAS BECOME A GREAT INTERPRETOR, BUT “THE FUN” IS NEVER THERE, & I MISS THAT. APPARENTLY, THEY DID 2.

SINCE THEN, I’VE SEEN GREAT CHANGES IN THE KIDS. I’M SOME1 THEY KNOW AGAIN, ASIDE FROM MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. THEY DID WELL B4, BUT IT’S NOW LIKE THEY KNOW MY INNER THOUGHTS, THAT I WISH I COULD SAY, BUT ONLY THINK:

ZACH HAS MADE THE BIGGEST STRIDES & THRILLED ME. PRIOR 2 MY STROKE, WE WERE SO CLOSE & SINCE IT, I’VE SEEN HIM TRY, BUT R BOND HAS BEEN DIFF. BUT, DEEP DOWN, HE KNOWS ME BEST SINCE HE HAD THE MOST PRE-STROKE YEARS. NOW, HE’S MORE AFFECTIONATE AT SPORADIC TIMES (IT’S SO NICE 2 BE HUGGED JUST BECAUSE I AM THERE) & FUN 2 TEASE WITH. HE SEEMS 2 GET WHAT I’M SAYING, W/O ME SIGNING A WORD.

JESS IS GETTING REALLY GOOD AT READING MY ASL. SHE HAS UPGRADED FROM COMMON PHRASES (“HAVE A GOOD DAY”) & 1 WORD ANSWERS. SHE RARELY CALLS ZACH OVER 2 TRANSLATE NOW. SEVERAL SITUATIONS HAVE ATTRIBUTED 2 HER GROWTH IN ASL, BUT IT BEGAN WHEN WE IMed. SHE HAS BEEN DETERMINED 2 BE “BIG” & COMMUNICATE W/ME. SEEING ME CHAT, HELPED 2 FAMILIARLIZE HERSELF W/HOW I SPEAK. SHE ALSO HAS MY STUUBBORN STREAK & HAS STUUCK IT OUT WHEN SHE WAS CLOSE 2 CAVING.

FIA HAD THE LEAST 2 CHANGE R RELATIONSIP, SINCE SHE ALREADY TRULY UNDERSTOOD ME POST-STROKE. BUUT SHE’S MIMICED HER OLDER SIBLINGS. SHE & I WERE DELIGHTTED WHEN SHE SOUNDED OUT THE ASL LETTERS I SPELLED TO A 3 LETTER WORD & FIGURED IT OUT! SHE ACTUALLY KNEW THE WORD I SPELLED!

ALL THE KIDS DELIGHT IN MY FEAR OF SPIDERS. (SOMETIMES, I SWEAR IT’S ARACHNAPHOBIA.) I CAN KNOW A SPIDER IS FAKE & STILL FREAK OUT, JUMP, & MY HEART RACES, IF I TOUCH IT. (BUT IT HAS 2 BE A SPIDER &, SO MY VISION IS NOT A FACTOR, I TOSS THEM UNLESS THEY’RE ODDLY COLORED OR HUGE.) DO IT 2 MUCH & I FEEL I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK. BUT I LAUGH—MY REACTION IS FUNNY & HEARING FAM. LAUGH, THANKS 2 PBA, IT TRIGGERS A LAUGH RESPONSE THAT I CAN MAKE A BIGGER LAUGH.

One comment

  1. Listening to you talk about the kids, I had a flash to back when Zach was born. I remember seeing you hold him so tenderly and carefully. And I remember how we talked about how it felt like you were playing “house”! It’s really great that the kids are finding new ways to relate to you. I’m sure there will be more.

    Love,
    Lynne

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