HAPPY EASTER! IT'S TRADITION IN R FAMILY2 FILL SOMETHING THE KIDS NEED/WANT INSTEAD OF A BASKET (SO, 4 EX., JESS, SINCE SHE'S IN SOFTBALL, SHE HAD A BAG 4 HER EQUIPMENT). SEVERAL YEARS AGO, ON THE CHRISTMAS RT. AFTER MY STROKE, JJSS REQUESTED AN AMERICAAN GIRL DOLL W/A WHEELCHAIR (W/C). FIA HAS STARTED WANTING A W/C, SO HER EASTER "BASKET" WAS A BUILD-A-BEAR W/C! SHE WAS SO EXCITED 2 HAVE A "MRS. JENNY" BUILD-A-BEAR! NOW, THE GIRLS CAN SHARE THEIR W/C!

LAST WEEKEND, IF U R LDS, U KNOW IT WAS GENERAL CONFERENCE (R CHURCH LEADERS SPEND MANY HOURS TEACHING US VIA SATELLITE/CABLE).
JUST WATCHING IT WOULDN’T HELP MY PBA . NEITHER WOULD IT HELP 2 SIT SO I CAN'T C & JUST LISTEN–I NEED A DISTRACTION, SO I HEAR THE WORDS, BUT SPLIT MY FOCUS W/A DISTRACTION.
SO I'VE DISCOVERED THE JOY OF DOING MINDLESS ACTIVITIES (WHICH PILE UP, SINCE THEY NEED 2 BE DONE, BUT I HATE 2 USE MY "PRECIOUS TIME" 2 DO IT) & LISTEN ON THE INTERNET. IT WORKS SO GREAT! THE ONLY BUMMER IS, I DON'T KNOW WHO'S TALKING & I HAVE 2 BE AT HOME, SEPERATED FROM MY FAM. THE MAJOR POSITIVE IS, THAT TWICE A YEAR WE DO THIS, & I'D SAY MY SPIRITUAL SIDE HAS SERIOUSLY LACKED FOR 3 YEARS BECAUSE OF HOW I HAVE 2 DISTANCE MYSELF & PUT UP A WALL 2 FIGHT PBA. 4 INSTANCE,, I FAITHFULLY GO 2 CHURCH WEEKLY, BUT IT CAN BE A PBA-BATTLE & I CAN GET LITTLE OUT OF IT UNTIL I COME HOME & CAN BE ALONE 2 VERY LOUDLY CRY (& NO1 NEEDS 2 HEAR ABOVE ME) WHILE IT "SIMMERS."

THERE'S CLINICAL TRIALS ON A DRUG 4 PBA. HOW I'D LOVE 2 BE A PART! IF IT'D WORK, MY LIFE WOULD DRASTICALLY CHANGE!

THE PREVIOUS WEEKEND I HAD SOME INTERESTING EXPERIENCES:

I REALLY HATE 2 BE OUTSIDE (WHY:
BUGS LOVE 2 LAND ON ME,
LOW CIRCULATION MAKES ME COLDER SOONER,
RAIN—NEED I SAY MORE?,
SUNLIGHT, SINCE MY EYES R SENSATIVE 2 NATURAL LIGHT,
WIND—I GET STRAY HAIRS I MY FACE & MOUTH WHICH I'M NOT GAURANTEED 2 REACH & SINCE I'M DARK BLONDE, THEY R UNSEEN—THOUGH, MARK IS LOADS BETTER AT SPOTTING STRAY HAIRS THAN HE DID 3 YRS. AGO, WHICH CAN BE AMAZING, REALLY,
BUMPY GROUND—)

I ALSO HATE SPORTS. SO IMAGINE HOW THRILLED I WAS AT HEARING JESS, MY 7 YR. OLD, ANNOUNCE SHE WAS GOING 2 PLAY SOFTBALL! I HAD BEEN "TEAM MOM" 4 ZACH AT AGE 6, SO I KNEW IIT INVOLVED GAMES OUTSIDE, COLD OR HOT, SUNNY & WINDY. 2 WEEKS AGO WAS HER 1ST GAME. I WENT & TOOK PICS. AT JESS' SOFTBALL GAME. THE FUNNY THING WAS I COULD SEE NOTHING IN MY LCD, THANKS 2 SUNLIGHT & SUNGLASSES. BUT MY CAMERA WAS MOUNTED, SO I AIMED & SHOT. USUALLY, I CAN HEAR IT SNAP A PIC. THIS TIME, THOUGH, I HEARD NOTHING! I HAD NO IDEA IF I'D TAKEN PICS. & WHAT THEY'D LOOKED LIKE! BUT, ONCE I CROPPED, THEY WERE ALARMINGLY GOOD!

2 SUN. AGO, I WAS HEADED DOWNSTAIRS 2 MY COMP. (KIDS'ROOMS R CLOSE BY) AT 6:30 AM (NOTHING UNUSUAL, & I LIKE THE QUIET TIME W/O KIDS). EVER SINCE MY STROKE, I'M JUMPIER THAN U CAN IMAGINE—MY NERVES R ALWAYS ON THE EDGE. LIKE, WALKING IN MY ROOM, EVEN IF I KNOW SOME1 IS COMING, I JUMP & FREAK OUT. ANOTHER IS, I SWEAR I HAVE ARACNOPHOBIA, SO ZACH LIKES 2 PUT FAKE SPIDERS ON ME, WHICH IS WORSE W/DOUBLE VISION! & IT NEVER GETS OLD 2 SAY, "BOO!" AS I COME OUT THE ELEVATOR BACKWARDS! THE GREATEST FUN 4 MY FAM. IS MAKING ME JUMP & FREAK OUT.

SO I COME DOWNSTAIRS, DRIVING SLOWLY & ONLY LOOKING IMMEDIATELY IN FRONT OF ME, SINCE IT'S MOSTLY DARK. I'M ABOUT 2 TURN (REMEMBER, IT'S DARK, QUIET, & I THINK I'M ALONE), & C A SMILING JESS (MY EARLY RISER) JUST QUIETLY SITTING CRISS-CROSS IN MY PATH. 4 THE 1ST TIME SINCE MOVING HERE, I WAS TRULY SCARED ENOUGH 2 NOT ONLY JUMP, BUT SCREAM MY "CHHEWBACCA" SCREAM!